Staying positive in a world of constant change can be challenging, particularly when dealing with difficult situations. Yet having an optimistic attitude and emitting positive energy is required in order to attract and create better life circumstances. Laurie, my Spiritual Seekers writing partner, wrote about 4 Ways to Produce Positive Energy recently. I’m going to add to these insights with tips on how to stay positive during difficult times.
First, a quip from Thich Nhat Hanh:
“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong…Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”
According to the Abraham-Hicks law of attraction teachings, which focus using your emotions as a guidance system to let you know what your point of attraction is, it’s not easy to jump from feeling hopeless and powerless up to feeling joyful and enthusiastic in one step. They recommend using realistic and positive thoughts to help you move one step at a time up the ladder of emotions from the heavier, denser ones until you reach the higher, lighter ones. For more information on this powerful process, read The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide.
As you shift your thoughts, attitude and emotions in an upward direction, you will feel more optimistic and you will naturally start to attract wonderful circumstances into your life. Here are some tips on how to do this.
How to Stay Positive During Difficult Situations
Practice acceptance. When we are accepting and non-resistant we feel lighter, more trusting, and it’s easier to access our humor, joy and enthusiasm. When we judge, criticize or resist what’s happening we shut down, block the natural flow of energy in our body and attract negativity (remember, like attracts like). The next time you are about to judge or criticize something, stop for a moment and accept yourself, the other person, or situation as it is. It doesn’t mean you condone it or even agree with it, just that you are accepting the reality of it instead of denying or fighting it. This will keep your mind and heart open to positive energy.
Be mindful. Mindfulness is a practice where you bring your attention and awareness to each thought, feeling and activity as it is occurring. This way you can catch negative thoughts before they take over and drag you down with them. You can notice heavier emotions and breathe into them, allowing them to process and release. Our natural state is light and joyful, but if we are not mindful we may cover this up by dwelling on unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Be in the present moment every moment and be aware of the bigger picture, not just the current difficult situation.
Focus on what’s going well. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, people tend to focus on what’s wrong when they could try to see positive things. Life is full of ups and downs and it’s your choice what you focus on. If you spend most of your time talking about your physical aches and pains, the chaos in the world, the bills you have to pay, your noisy neighbor and any number of possible problems, you will naturally feel down and depleted. But if you choose to notice what’s going well in your life, what parts of your body feel comfortable, the good that’s taking place in the world, the services like electricity, internet, and phone access you are fortunate to have, and the kind, helpful people in your neighborhood or community, you will feel uplifted and energized.
Be good to yourself. It feels great when someone treats us with a compliment, gift or words of support, but it feels even better when we do this for ourselves. Make it a habit each day to compliment yourself, pamper yourself and treat yourself to something that nurtures and nourishes you – this will definitely put a smile on your face, especially during difficult times.
Touch into the essence of joy. When we connect with the core of our being, we discover our natural state of joy. Not the happiness that results from temporary external circumstances, but the internal essence of who we really are: a joyful, divine, spiritual being. You can move into this state during meditation, but you can also take 5 minute breaks throughout the day to close your eyes, let go of the external world and touch into your true essence. Feel for the tiny bubbles of joy and let them expand to fill your whole body.
I’ve also discovered that The Sedona Method
offers wonderful tools for letting go of painful or difficult feelings – you might want to try their complimentary CDs or MP3 downloads.
What supports you to stay positive? Please share your comments below.
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I love the “practice acceptance” idea. It doesn’t help to fight against what is — whether it’s an illness, loss, disappointment, or betrayal.
Accepting the situation for what it is helps me stay positive because I’m not struggling against reality. I think the struggle against what IS, is what makes people negative.
You don’t have to like or condone something to accept it. Acceptance just makes your life easier.
Laurie
I appreciate you taking the time to share this. Isn’t great to write?
Thanks Stephen – I enjoyed writing this artice, and yes, it is great to write! I see you enjoy it too from your Law of Attraction website. Let us know if you’d like to contribute a new article to our site as we take guest posts from time to time.
Gini
.-= Gini Grey´s last blog post: Intention =-.
thank you so much for this article. i’m currently going through a breakup from a man i’ve been with for 4 years. when i read and re-read the “practice acceptance” part and not resisting the situation, i literally felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders. i know i will need to practice this more and more but at least i’m starting!
Hello Augustina,
I’m so glad this article and the importance of acceptance is helping you through your relationship breakup – I know how difficult breakups are – may your heart heal with ease and love.
On my “articles to-write” list is covering the topic of handling relationship break-ups with ease, acceptance and love. One of the things I’ve found helpful during a breakup or any type of love loss is to fill up with the feeling of love within – I’ll write more about this in that future article and will poste a link here.
Take care – hope to see you back on Spiritual Seekers again,
Gini
.-= Gini Grey´s last blog post: Intention =-.
Gini, I’m still working on the acceptance part of my break up. And also trying to come to peace with the fact that I had no control over my ex’s decision to break up with me. I know that i did my best to work on our issues yet he “gave up”. He said he didn’t have the “energy anymore to work things out”. So, how do i give myself the peace of mind that i could not control his decision in the end. I mean, i accept the outcome…that we’ve broken up, but i’m struggling with letting go of the control part, as if i could have done something to change the outcome.
Sorry if this is a bit rambling but i sure would appreciate your insights and feedback.
Thank you.
Augustina, that must be disheartening to have your partner give up on the relationship when it sounds like you still wanted it to continue. I truly believe though that if the relationship is not working for one partner, in the long run it won’t work for the other so it can be a gift when one person ends it (in hindsight anyway). But our “mind” wants to understand the whys and ruminate over how we could have done it differently. This just keeps us hooked into the past and prevents us from letting go and moving on to a better future (with a partner that is a much better fit).
I wrote two articles last month that I think you will find helpful on this topic. One is The Spiritual Purpose of Relationships and Soul Agreements. The other is Discover Your Soul Contracts and Spiritual Agreements in Close Relationships.
I encourage you to do the exercises in these articles as a way to see what the gifts, lessons and growth you received from your relationship, but also to see perhaps why it has ended and how this is a benefit for you in some way. It involves stepping out of the analyzer to figure it out though and looking at things intuitively and with your soul eyes.
Let me know if these help.
Take care,
Gini
.-= Gini Grey´s last blog post: Life =-.
Gini,
thank-you so much for your reply. Ruminating on the past and all the “why’s” and “what if’s” is definitely something i do not want to do because i DO want to move forward and be happy and at peace with myself again.
I will take a look at the articles you recommended.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and this wonderful website.
-Augustina
I have been working on this over the past few years. I have become a stepmom of two lovely girls who have a mom who we think has borderline personality disorder. She contributes a great deal of anger and rage into our lives, and the kids bring this home with them when they move from house to house. I have been sometimes successfully and sometimes not struggling to keep my heart open to the kids mom, as it is very important to them and to me to do so. My husband is my best friend and a very loving and accepting man.
In the past I have had the insight that the things I worked hard on when I was 20 and expected to be better at by my 42 years are still pretty much the same. There has been a very small amount of growth. We work our whole lives to become a bit more accepting.
But today it occurred to me how much pleasure I have enjoyed in working on becoming more accepting and loving, even if I am not a lot better at it. Meditation, just speaking love when I am angry as well as speaking to my anger, just seeing myself WANTING so much to love this BPD mom of my lovely stepchildren, this is the gift. Not getting perfect, not being only loving, but just working on it in a committed way, in meditation and walking and in being present with those I love. This practice is a rich gift, even if it bears no fruit, like the brilliant reddish blossoms of an ornamental quince.
Hello Ennie,
How wonderful that you are appreciating the process of becoming more accepting and loving, not just the final destination (if there is one). That sounds like a challenging situation with your husband’s ex-wife, but so heartening to hear you say that you are focused on trying to keep your heart open to her. Just imagine how the world would be if more people had those high intentions.
I love your last sentence – very poetic, and I believe the fruit is there within the practice and you will see it more and more each day now that you are consciously experiencing the pleasure of the spiritual journey.
Blessings,
Gini