“Talking to God – even with your husband or wife listening – should be as natural as talking to a friend on the telephone,” write Dennis and Barbara Rainey in Two Hearts Praying as One. “When spouses pray together, it is about relationship and intimacy – with God and with one another.”
A friend gave me Two Hearts Praying as One when my husband and I got married; this book motivates us to pray together regularly by teaching us discipline and acceptance. If you don’t pray as a couple – or if your prayer life is dry – trying reading books about prayer together.
And, here are five ways to keep your prayer life strong and vibrant…
How to Pray as a Couple – 5 Tips for a Spiritual Marriage
Discuss why praying together can be difficult. Let’s face it: it can be difficult to pray as an individual, much less make time to pray as a couple! To keep praying together (or to start praying together), talk about the obstacles that prevent you from talking to God as a couple. Discussing the obstacles is the first step to overcoming them – and this open communication will strengthen your marriage.
Pray about your obstacles to prayer. Nothing is too small to pray about – and not praying can be a thorn in your marriage and spiritual life. So, after you talk about your reasons for not praying as a couple, pray over those reasons. Not matter how big or small your reasons are, bring them to God. Let Him help you move beyond the obstacles, revive your spiritual life, and create a more spiritual marriage.
Find an accountability “prayer couple.” You’re not the only couple who needs to find ways to keep praying together! Many couples get caught up in the business of children, work, volunteering, exercise, and other responsibilities that can drain the time and energy it takes to pray as a couple. A great way to keep your prayer life strong is to find a couple to be accountable to – preferably one who also wants to be accountable for their prayer life. Once a month, ask each other if you’re praying as a couple. Pray for each other.
Remember that prayers – and marriages – go through stages. Sometimes you and your spouse will pray about conflict; other times you’ll pray for a miracle (like my husband and I are doing now!). Sometimes your “prayer stage” will last years – such as praying for a chronic health issue. Or, you may pray for something once and be done with it. You may pray through grief, anger, boredom, or frustration. Your prayer life as a couple is a dynamic, organic process that changes, depending on your circumstances and marriage.
Pray both aloud and silently together. Praying as a couple can make your marriage stronger and more spiritual, even if you don’t say your prayers out loud. Here’s how David and Jan Stoop of “Focus on the Family” suggest praying together: “First, sit down together and hold hands. A number of couples have commented on how important it was to be touching each other as they prayed together. Next, talk together about some of your mutual concerns as a couple. Then, as you finish the conversation, one of you should say to the other, ‘Let’s pray about these things.’ Finally, spend some time in silent prayer together.”
Do you and your partner pray together – and does it affect your marriage? I welcome your thoughts below!
If you’re looking for a different type of prayer, read Centering Prayer – How to Pray With Your Whole Heart.