“The best way to protect yourself from harm and undue stress is by helping [emotionally explosive people],” writes Albert J. Bernstein in Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry. “Bear in mind, however, that helping them seldom means giving in, or giving them everything they want when they want it. To deal with emotional explosions, you must be kind, caring, and courageous, but not nice.”
“Emotionally explosive people” are a type of emotional vampire. You have to walk on eggshells when you’re around them, and you’re constantly worried about an emotional meltdown. If you live or work with negative people like this and you want to keep your positive energy, read Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry.
And, here are a few ways to protect yourself from emotional or energy vampires…
Learn to Recognize Emotionally Draining People
You know you’ve spent time with an emotional vampire or negative person when you feel depressed, exhausted, or sad after a visit. Emotionally draining people use your positive psychic energy, leaving you empty and sluggish.
Some emotional vampires are loud and aggressive, and others are soft-spoken and shy. Some emotional vampires are charming and seductive; others are pushy and overbearing.
Emotionally draining people have psychic energy leaks they need to fill. They may not even be aware of what they’re doing. Some have suffered some sort of crisis in childhood or adulthood, and they’re compensating to get rid of their negative energy. They’re trying to reverse their negative psychic energy – but they’re not filling up in emotionally and spiritually healthy ways.
Energy vampires may not deliberately drain your positive energy. But, their intentions don’t matter. What really matters is your ability to protect yourself from their negative psychic energy!
How Do Emotional Vampires Drain Your Positive Energy?
There are specific behaviors and words that drain your psychic energy. For instance, emotional vampires may:
- Ignore your boundaries and privacy.
- Make big deals out of little things. Emotional vampires are often called “drama queens.” because they can turn a minor occurrence – such as a set of lost keys – into a tragic loss.
- Complain constantly about their partners, jobs, children, bad luck, and illnesses.
- Criticize your hair, appearance, job, children, partner, friends, and pets (emotional vampires aren’t positive people!).
- Don’t take “no” for an answer. Energy vampires don’t consider your needs, wishes, desires.
- Are unrelentingly negative. Their negative psychic energy doesn’t just drain your positive energy, it makes you feel negative, too.
- Blame everyone else for their problems.
These actions have a direct and significant effect on your emotional and spiritual energy.
10 Ways to Protect Yourself From Emotional Vampires
- Limit the amount of time you spend with negative, emotionally draining people. The less time you spend together, the less positive psychic energy you’ll lose!
- Learn effective ways to end conversations with emotional vampires. For instance, you could say, “I only have ten minutes to talk, and then I have to go.”
- Stay calm and detached if you’re with an emotionally explosive person. Be conscious of how negative energy can consume you, and don’t get sucked into their emotional drama.
- Be honest about your needs. For instance, if you need time alone, say, “I need this time to work/read/relax/exercise. Please excuse me.”
- Stay firm when you set your boundaries. Remember that the more you do it, the easier it gets!
- Don’t try to fix their problems or rescue them from situations they’ve created.
- Avoid being in close spaces with emotional vampires, such as in an elevator or car. Negative psychic energy crosses physical boundaries. So, define and guard your personal space from energy vampires.
- Limit eye contact with people full of negative energy.
- Tell them when you feel uncomfortable discussing certain people or circumstances. Do not let them bully you.
- Remember that your time, positive energy, and resources are precious. You have every right to be happy, fulfilled, and spiritually and emotionally strong!
What do you think – are you dealing with an emotional vampire? Is it “easier said than done” to protect yourself? I welcome your thoughts below!
To learn more about protecting yourself from negative energy, read How to Produce Positive Energy.
If you’re interested in spiritual health and Christianity, you might find How to Renew Your Spiritually – 4 Tips for Soul Reconnection helpful.
June 30, 2012
I just came across your site and wanted to leave comment. I too have had an (unwelcome) share of emotional vampires in my life. I have come to the point of shutting down at the workplace and staying away from those who want to drain me in one more ways than one by their constant small talk, complaining, etc. Emotional vampires are not happy and when they see you are they want to ‘take it away’ from you. I found out that one way to deal with these kind of people is to state your comment, request, etc. in a firm tone of voice and this seems to work positively. They don’t have the “energy” to respond and leave you alone at this point.
When you are someone that is always kind to others some seem to drain you and think that you are always available for them when they want to talk. This will drain you in no time.
Thank you for this insightful article. I have noticed that no matter what practical advice you offer a vampire they will find at least one reason (usually more) not to act upon it. They just want to dump their problems onto you. I have come to the point where I basically shut down on them and allow them to revel in their misery. I have to take that mental stance in order to avoid being drawn into their muddle.
Thanks for your comment, Emily — I’m glad you recognized and released the “emotional vampire” in your life!
I’ve dealt with an energy vampire before. I use to be friends with her actually. Whenever I was around her I was suicidal, but when we were in a fight and not speaking, I felt immensely better. I always wondered why…I thought it might of been something like this, but I wasn’t sure, since I didn’t know much about it. But now I’m completely sure. So thank you for the article.
Thankfully, me and the person aren’t talking anymore, for good. 
Hi Laurie,
Great article – lots of useful info. “How Do You Know If You’re an Emotional Vampire?” would be a good article as I was just listening to an on-line talk on the subject of energy vampires and energy feeders by Geoffrey & Linda Hoppe
of Crimson Circle and they said that if you have a history of being a victim of energy vampires you most likely also feed on other people’s energy (unconsciously).
The main tip they offered for dealing with it was making a conscious choice and commitment to not take part in any energy feeding – to not let others suck your energy and to not take other’s energy. Once you make this conscious choice, you start to notice when you are doing it and you stop. You also notice right away when someone is doing it to you and you don’t play the game with the person (which might manifest as one of the tips you suggested). This is how it becomes easier to do – with a clear intention/commitment/choice.
But they did warn that your relationships will change. Apparently many spouses and parents/children play the energy draining game so once you decide not to, the relationship dynamics will change. This could mean an end to relationships, friendships etc.
They mentioned that the solution to stop being an energy vampire is to connect directly to Source/God/Creator as that is where we get our true spiritual energy. When we are disconnected or feel disempowered we unconsciously feed on other people’s energy to get a boost.
I look forward to your next article on this topic.
Take care,
Gini
Maybe my next article will be, “How Do You Know If You’re an Emotional Vampire?” Because healing yourself of negativity and the need to drain other people’s positive energy is almost as important as knowing how to protect yourself from emotional vampires!