Accepting yourself and your life choices even when others don’t is imperative for living a life of joy and freedom. Without self-acceptance, other people’s opinions become bigger than you; taunting, shaming, or swaying you to make decisions that aren’t a natural fit. When you honor your values, beliefs, gifts and talents, you also speak your truth, follow your dreams, and allow others to do the same.
It would truly be a wonderful world if everyone loved and accepted each other unconditionally, respected differences and valued diversity, and most importantly, trusted and honored each others’ choices. But alas, we don’t live in that world, at least not yet. Instead many still experience judgments from family and friends regarding their lifestyle, spiritual beliefs and career choices. It’s painful to see the look of disappointment in a loved one’s eyes, hear the hint of sarcasm in a friend’s voice, feel the sting of a parent’s criticism, or sense the disapproval in unspoken words.
“Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, not in the atmosphere of rejection.” John Powell
Self-acceptance leads to acceptance of others, which creates a ripple effect into the world. So begin by accepting yourself and your life choices. I’ve offered some insights below on how to do this. And for those of you (especially women) who have trouble honoring yourself by saying no to requests or by taking time for yourself without feeling guilty, read the book, The Courage to Be Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Emotional Strength and Self-Esteem, pictured above.
How to Accept Yourself and Honor Your Life Choices
Trust your heart and soul. If you listen to your heart and soul for guidance on what path to follow you will never be led astray. No one knows what’s best for you except you. When your mind becomes concerned about others’ judgments or rejection, tune into your higher self and trust your heart and soul’s truth.
Refuse to take on invalidation. A person will only feel the sting of invalidation if they take it on. Don’t take others’ opinions personally. In reality their judgments have less to do with you and more to do with their own beliefs, programming, conditioning, fears, regrets and insecurities. Stand firm in your life choices and let others deal with their own triggers and reactions.
Stay amused and in a state of non-resistance. What we resist persists, so the minute you tense up against another’s non-accepting tone, comment or behavior, they’ve got you. In order to be bigger than other people’s judgments it helps to be in a state of non-resistance and amusement. Stay relaxed, see the humor in their small mindedness, and remember what’s truly important to you.
Recognize what’s behind others’ judgments. Instead of being hurt or offended by another’s judgment of your lifestyle, beliefs, talents or career choices, look at what’s behind the judgment. Judgments come from fear not love. A man raised in the depression era who frets about his children’s financial security will discourage his son from pursuing a career in arts or entertainment, a woman may criticize her husband’s growing interest in a new hobby because she’s worried it will take time away from their relationship, a woman snickers at her friend’s personal growth journey because she’s concerned they’ll drift apart. Recognizing others’ fears will bring out your compassion and ease the pain of judgment.
Surround yourself with supportive people. Cultivate friendships with people who can see and honor who you really are. Spend as much time as possible in the company of others who have high self-esteem, follow their dreams, and encourage you to do the same.
Love yourself unconditionally. When you fully love yourself, flaws and all, it’s less painful if others don’t accept you or your life choices. Find ways to express love to yourself on a daily basis. Treat yourself with gifts of love; honor your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual needs, compliment yourself regularly, and focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Even just saying the simple phrase, “I accept myself” feels nurturing.
Do you have any questions or comments about accepting yourself and your life choices even when others don’t? Please share below.
