It is not hard recognizing when you’re gossiping. To determine whether you are a participant in gossip, you may ask yourself these three questions:

1. If God was standing right next to me, would He approve of this conversation?

2. Is the person I am discussing, present, to defend themselves?

3. If the tables were turned, would I like this to be said about me or one of my loved ones?

If the answers above were each answered “yes,” then there have not been any errors of one’s character being destroyed.

Outside of asking if God would approve of the conversation, the most important is; is this conversation something we need to ask a person that we care about? And should it be asked in private? In no way should anyone be placed in a position to be embarrassed and made to feel that their private details true or false are the root of conversation, for entertainment and amusement for the group for that day, or any other day!

Individuals that gossip can be cured of their disease, very quickly! And this is by; placing the shoe from the foot of the person (s) they’re attacking with the rumors, and placing it directly on their own foot.

God is asking you to stop gossiping, will you do this for Him? He really loves you, and He really loves the person (s) in whom are being gossiped about.

http://www.stopthegossiping.com
Author: Mia Stubbs

When I try to stop my friends from dissing other people, they just laugh. I don’t think there’s a way to stop people from gossiping without making yourself look like a goody goody.

The Webster’s definition of gossip is somewhat vague. I guess I’ve always thought of gossip as negative because usually when people are getting a ‘high’ from sharing rumours, it’s usually an embarassing thing like,”did you know Mary was caught in the bathroom naked with the bartender while her husband sat drunk at the bar!?!”

When rumours are positive, such as, “did you know Mary passed her bar exam so now she is a full fledged lawyer,” I see that as a validation, acknowledgement, referral etc. not gossip.

The bottom line for me around gossip is to answer these two questions:

1) Do I know this information is absolutely true (i.e. did I hear it from the source rather than second hand). We all know how quickly facts get distorted when passed from one person to another (ever play the telephone game as a kid where you pass a piece of info on to a person sitting beside you and they pass it on until it goes around the table and then you laugh histerically when you hear the final info as it is so different from when it started).

2) Am I positive this person is ok with me sharing this private info with others

The only other reason I might share something is to warn someone, but I would let them know if it was from my experience or purely rumour.

Would be interesting to hear from your other readers how they view gossip.

You’re right: malicious gossip is negative energy that pollutes the world. It also pollutes our own hearts, minds, and souls!

You’re also right that I’m not the gossiping type. But, I thought the info surrounding the whole “is gossip good for you?” idea was fascinating — especially from an evolutionary perspective.

Also, gossip isn’t always negative or malicious……is it? Hmmm….let me look up the definition of gossip…..

According to Webster’s, gossip is “A rumor or report of a personal nature.”

This seems to vague to me. I mean, telling someone that someone else is pregnant is gossip — but it’s not necessarily a bad thing! Any time you talk about someone else, it’s gossip.

Maybe your intention is what determines whether gossip is “good or bad.” Which brings us back to your link about choosing what we say!

Thanks for your forthrightness and honesty, Gini

Laurie

I was surprised to see the title of your post as you don’t seem like a gossiping type to me so ‘why women gossip’ is more like it. Yet, I wish more women would see the down side of gossiping and not get caught in the unconscious high of it. Imagine that you are gossiping about someone to a group of friends, and then suddenly you notice the person being gossiped about is standing in ear shot – would you feel embarassed, guilty etc? Is that good for you. Then imagine being the person talked about (in a negative and perhaps untruthful way as most gossip is) and overhearing it? How aweful would that feel?

As I’m into energy and the effects of it (through words, emotions and even thoughts) I don’t want to personally contribute negative, polluting energy to the world through harmful words etc. I’d much rather contribute to uplfiting the energy on this planet and gossip just doesn’t fit into that way of life.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall in households that contain thoughtful, reasoned, passionate discussions and debates! Learning how to share and hear people’s opinions, especially when they’re in opposition to your own, is so important. I’m learning to welcome viewpoints that are different than mine — I want to be able to hear and accept another person’s perspective without becoming defensive or feeling criticized.

Anyway — regarding your opinion on how gossip affects us, I unfortunately have to agree with you. Even though I’ve always tried to avoid gossiping and listening to others gossip, it hadn’t occurred to me that gossip could ruin your business! But if you live in a small community, I can see it happening.

I’ve always wondered why people gossip so much, and why it’s hard to stop listening when they do! Maybe I should’ve called this post “Why Women Gossip” instead of “Why Gossip is Good for You.”

Here’s another quotation about gossip, which I found years ago:

People with extraordinary minds talk about ideas,
People with average minds talk about events, and
People with simple minds talk about other people.
- Unknown

As always,
Laurie

I can’t say I don’t participate in it because as you said, it “gives us a rush” and it’s hard to stop listening once its pouring out of someone’s mouth. But overall I try to steer clear of regular gossipers and I try not to pass anything on that I’ve heard. It’s titillation as far as I can see and only makes people feel good in a twisted way – if they have low self esteem it can feel good to bash someone else or laugh at their foibles, but it quickly becomes judmental and negative, filled with what the other person “should” have done instead of what they did – as if we know what it’s like to be in their shoes.

I’m not sure I believe the study that says it increases endorphins (would be interested to see the research study for its validity and reliablity) unless it is that first ‘hit’ of high from feeling better than others for a moment – until you are on the other side and feel worse than. I’m much more interested in conversations that are uplifting, inspiring and in an area of interest. I mean really, who cares what a famous actor thinks about childrearing???? I don’t even know them and I have so many other things to do and discuss. It’s kinda like watching a soap opera instead of living you’re life isn’t it!?!