5 Ways to Survive a Cheating Spouse – Elin Nordegren

Surviving a cheating spouse’s betrayal can be the most difficult thing you’ll ever do. These ways to survive marital infidelity are inspired by Elin Nordegren’s response to Tiger Woods’ affair.

“The word betrayal isn’t strong enough,” Nordgren said in an interview with People magazine. “I felt like my whole world had fallen apart.”

If your spouse cheated, you know exactly what she feels like. Add the humiliation of the affair being publicized all over the world, and it’s almost unbearable! My heart breaks for Nordegren, and for all spouses who have been betrayed. If your spouse cheated, you might find Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On — Together or Apart helpful.

And, here are five ways to survive a marriage affair…

5 Ways to Survive a Cheating Spouse – Elin Nordegren

1. Stop seeing your spouse. If you can make a clean break from your spouse, do it. Nordegren mentioned that she hasn’t watched a minute of golf since finding out about Tiger’s affairs. Not associating with your spouse or those familiar places and activities will help you rebuild your self-respect and self-love. Don’t talk to him on the phone. Don’t meet for coffee, email, or text each other. If you’re thinking of getting back together, take at least a three month break from your marriage. If you have to be in contact because of kids and visitation times, ask family or friends to be there for drop offs or pick ups.

2. Expect various, overwhelming emotions. “I have been through stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children,” said Nordegren. If you’re surviving a cheating spouse, accept your conflicting emotions. Learn how to express them in healthy ways, perhaps by writing in a journal, trying art therapy, or tackling projects at home (cleaning your closets or refurbishing furniture can be great therapy!).

3. Learn why your spouse cheated. Spouses have affairs for different reasons. If you can figure out why your spouse cheated, you may find it easier to cope and move on. Read Why Men Cheat on Their Wives — it contains illuminating information from marriage counselor Gary M. Neuman.

4. Forgive yourself. “I’m so embarrassed that I never suspected – not a one,” said Nordegren. “For the last 3 1/2 years, when all this was going on, I was home a lot more with pregnancies, then the children and my school.” If your spouse cheated, you may feel similarly embarrassed or humiliated — and you may even feel guilty or responsible. The sooner you forgive yourself for your real or perceived mistakes or ignorance, the easier to’ll be to survive a cheating spouse. If you can release yourself, you may be better able to overcome an unexpected relationship breakup.

5. Decide if it’s time to let go — and then focus on letting go. One of my favorite quotations is, “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting them back together.” I love this quote because it’s true — sometimes it’s worse (in the long run) to try to rebuild your marriage than to keep slogging through the heartbreak.

If you’ve decided to leave your cheating spouse, you may find Letting Go of Someone You Love helpful — it offers 75 tips from psychologists, life coaches, and counselors. Remember that letting go isn’t something you do once, and it doesn’t happen overnight! It’s a process that takes time.

If you want to save your marriage, you may find Ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage After Infidelity helpful.

Related posts:

1. Can Your Spouse Change? 5 Ways to Be More Happily Married
2. Rebuilding Marriage Trust After an Affair – Ann Landers
3. Women Considering Divorce – A Quips and Tips Article