“It isn’t where you came from, it’s where you’re going that counts.” ~ Ella Fitzgerald.

But, where you came from can teach you so much about where you’re going – and how to get there! If you keep making the same old mistakes, read Blind Spots: Why Smart People Do Dumb Things. And here, are five ways to learn from your mistakes…

5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald

1. Look for the blessings in disguise. I’m a full-time freelance writer; one of the hidden blessings of my job is all the rejections I get! I get rejected by editors, publishers, literary agents, clients, and even other bloggers. And I make a ton of mistakes – sometimes I misspell an editor’s name in a query letter, write articles that aren’t exactly snappy, and neglect to prepare for interviews. But, those mistakes are teaching me that it’s okay to drop the ball and everything will be fine. The older I get, the more I realize that success is about learning how to fail and bounce back.

2. Refuse to be ashamed of your mistakes. Confucius says a mistake is only a mistake until you become ashamed of it…and then it’s a crime. If you’ve made a mistake that you desperately wish you hadn’t, then you need to find a way to let go of it. Talk to a counselor or life coach, read books about letting go of regret, or enroll in a class about self-acceptance and self-esteem. Don’t let your mistake trap you in fear, guilt, shame, or regret! Ella Fitgerald says, “Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”

3. Remember that you did the best you could. This is one of my favorite life lessons: we make the best decisions we can, based on who we are and what we know at any given time. Sure, we can look back and kick ourselves for not doing something differently, because hindsight is 20/20. But, the best way to learn from our mistakes is to tell ourselves that we’re doing the best we can, given our personalities, experiences, and situation. We did the best we could ten years ago, and we’re doing the best we can today.

4. Ask for objective feedback, and do some self-assessment. What could you have done better, or differently? What do you know now that you didn’t know then? You won’t build resiliency or “bounce-back-ability” by burying your mistakes. Instead, ask someone you trust for objective feedback about your actions. Tell them not to sugarcoat the truth: you want to know how to be more successful next time!

5. Figure out the hitch in your glitch. Successful women achieve their goals by learning from past mistakes, because they figure out what does and does not work for them. Learning why the mistake happened – or keeps happening – will prevent it from happening in the future. Are you being sabotaged? Are you lazy? Are you dealing with some serious health issues or life problems? Figuring out the root of the problem is a great way to overcome past mistakes.

Here’s what Lucille Ball said about Ella Fitzgerald’s mistakes: “Ella’s amazing! My daughter says that every time she makes a mistake, it becomes a hit record.”

Remember that your mistakes can become your greatest hits…as long as you don’t bury or hide from them!

If you have any thoughts or questions on learning from your mistakes, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. How to Make Mistakes and Move On – Brenda Ueland
2. 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling
3. Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou

“No one ever said that starting a business was easy,” writes Stewart in The Martha Stewart Rules (10 Essentials For Achieving Success As You Start, Build, Or Manage A Business). “The reality is that companies, even the largest and most well known, falter not once, but many times.”

If you’re a female entrepreneur, you need to know how to bounce back from failure – and not let setbacks become obstacles. Here are Martha Stewart’s tips for business startups; if you want to learn more from Stewart herself, click The Martha Stewart Rules.

For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business

If this article isn’t quite what you’re looking for, try When You’re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know.

1. Build your business success around something you love – something inherently and endlessly interesting to you. So, write the book you want to read, bake the cakes you want to eat, and sell the clothes you want to wear.

2. Focus your attention and creativity on basic things, which people need and want. Then, look for ways to enlarge, improve, and enhance your Big Idea. For instance, my Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals seems to be evolving into a site about love relationships in particular, not goals in general. So, I may enlarge my basic idea (a blog about goals) into an enlarged, more specific website about relationships. That’s what readers seem to need and want!

3. Create a business plan that allows you to stay true to your Big Idea, yet helps you focus on the details. Remain flexible enough to zoom in or out on the vital aspects of your enterprise as your business grows. Martha Stewart’s third rule for starting a business involves a telescope (to look ahead), a wide-angle lens (your business’ environment), and a microscope (the details of your business).

4. Share your knowledge about your product or service with customers to create deep connections. Don’t just sell your product or service: help your customers or clients by teaching them, getting to know them, and asking for ideas or feedback.

5. Use smart, cost-effective promotional marketing techniques that will arrest the eye, tug at the heart, and convey what is unique and special about your business or service. Martha Stewart uses the example of Madge (a manicurist) selling Palmolive dish soap. She adds a personal touch to a mundane household product. When starting a business, female entrepreneurs need to find their own touch.

6. Put quality at the top of your list of priorities, and keep it there. Quality is something you should strive for in every decision, every day. This means striving to be your best self – even in the details – when you’re starting and running your business.

7. Seek out and hire employees who are brimming with talent, energy, integrity, optimism, and generosity. Search for advisers and partners who complement your skills and understand your ideals.

8. When faced with a business challenge, evaluate or assess the situation, gather the good things in sight, abandon the bad, clear your mind, and move on. Focus on the positive, stay in control, and never panic. For more info, read Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs.

9. Remember that in business, there’s a difference between a risk and a chance. A well-calculated risk may very well end up as an investment in your business. A careless chance can cause it to crumble. When an opportunity presents itself, never assume it will be your last.

10. Listen intently, learn new things every day, be willing to innovate, and become an authority your customers will trust. As a female entrepreneur, you will find great joy and satisfaction in making your customers’ lives easier, more meaningful, and more beautiful.

“When work is based in passion, it does not feel like work – it feels fulfilling and empowering, far more about creating, building, devising, initiating, leading, and serving than simply moving through one task and on to another,” writes Martha Stewart.

If you want more info on any of these tips for female entrepreneurs, please let me know below! I’d be happy to write another article, explaining any of Martha Stewart’s business rules in more depth…

Related posts:

1. Martha Stewart – Bending Steel With Her Mind
2. When You’re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know
3. The Key to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Coco Chanel

“I believe in businesses where you engage in creative thinking, and where you form some of your deepest relationships,” said Anita Roddick, creator of The Body Shop. “If it isn’t about the production of the human spirit, we are in big trouble.”

For more info about how Roddick started The Body Shop, read Finding the Right Timing in Life – Anita Roddick. And, click on The Boss of You: Everything A Woman Needs to Know to Start, Run, and Maintain Her Own Business for specific tips for successful businesswomen.

When You’re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know

1. Believe in yourself. Your clients immediately know if you believe in your service or product, and they’ll assess you and your product or service accordingly. Tap into — and express! – your passion, integrity, and vision, and you’re more likely to be a successful businesswoman.

2. Gather a great team. When you’re starting your own business, don’t try to do everything yourself, even if you’re a freelance writer who works alone (like me!). If you can’t surround yourself with a smart, motivated team of employees or colleagues, then find a mentor. Soak up insight, feedback, and criticism from other successful businesswomen.

3. Leave your ego out of your new business. Your ego wants to keep you in control, make you look good, and manipulate people. Your ego wants to protect itself at all costs, and it doesn’t like vulnerability or rejection – which is part of starting your own business. Ignore your ego and focus on win-win situations for everyone. Speak up when necessary, even when you feel uncomfortable being in the spotlight!

4. Realize the value of failure. Successful businesswomen don’t escape failure. Successful businesswomen realize that success teaches more than failure, and that failing is a great opportunity to figure out how to do it better, or faster, or more efficiently. To learn more about what successful businesswomen know, read Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou.

5. Don’t give up yet! Starting a new business can be hard, and many entrepreneurs quit because finding clients is harder than they thought, they feel discouraged, they lose hope, or they no longer believe in themselves or their product. The longer you persevere, the more you improve your chances of starting a successful business. “A writing career is nothing more than a long series of disappointments punctuated by occasional moments of success,” says Michael Bracken. Successful businesswomen know that this isn’t just true of writing careers!

6. Stay organized. Staying organized not only shows your clients what a great businesswoman you are, it makes you feel strong, motivated, and capable. If you get rid of clutter, do things immediately, learn to say no, stick with your routine, and prioritize your goals, you’re more likely to start a successful business.

If you have any tips on starting your own business, I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below…

Related posts:

1. For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business
2. From Hobbies to Careers – 5 Ideas for Turning a Hobby Into a Successful Business
3. How to Make Your Business Successful: Find Your Personal Advantage

“You did what you know how to do. When you knew better, you did better.” – Maya Angelou.

Bouncing back from failure involves accepting that you did the best you could at the time. When you know better, you do better…and the key is to learn from your business failures! One of my favorite books on turning failure to success is When Smart People Fail – click the cover for details. And, read on for specific ways to turn failure to success for female entrepreneurs…

Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou

“Failure is a cleaning of the house,” writes Linda Gottlieb, co-author of When Smart People Fail. “It’s an opportunity to reorient your career, to inspect it, to relabel it. You learn to keep all your options in play, be light on your feet. Surviving failure makes you bold…Failure liberates you and gives you the courage to risk in a big enough way to guarantee big success.”

Research shows that female entrepreneurs are risk takers and less cautious by nature. Female entrepreneurs are optimistic but not always resilient — which is a shame, because bouncing back from failure may be the biggest predictor of success in business, relationships, and life.

Get real about failure. Failure isn’t a fatal flaw or social disease that renders you helpless and unhappy. Female entrepreneurs know that failure is not a permanent condition. Failure doesn’t make you less worthy, less intelligent, or less capable. Failure isn’t who you are….failure is simply an event.

Stop, take a deep breath, and think. After you fail, figure out exactly what happened. Did your business location lead you to bankruptcy? Were you fired because you weren’t focused? Be honest and specific. To turn failure to success, identify your mistakes and take responsibility.

“If you don’t like something, change it,” said Maya Angelou. “If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Regain control. When you know what went wrong, be deliberate not to make the same mistakes. Female entrepreneurs aren’t doomed to repeat history unless they’re oblivious! To regain control, determine what you did right and what worked in the past.

Also — remember that timing is everything. To learn how successful businesswoman Anita Roddick created the Body Shop, Finding the Right Timing — Anita Roddick.

Connect with other successful female entrepreneurs. Talk to women in business who have survived similar situations. Find out what worked. What would they do differently if they knew then what they know now? Compare stories. The more you hide your failures, the worse you’ll feel; so, be honest about your weaknesses and regrets. Not only is this emotionally healthy, it could open doors to new opportunities.

Adjust your perspective on failure. “I actually consider my failure to become a feature film director as the beginning of what I consider a saner and more successful life,” says award-winning Hollywood director Bert Salzman. “After winning the Oscar, I had visions of going right to the top, and when I didn’t get there immediately, I began to reconsider my life.”

Turning failure into success can be as simple as stepping back, looking at your life objectively, and realizing that failure doesn’t define you.

Work it, baby, work it! To turn failure into success, recycle your skills and talents. Reuse or re-label your abilities by breaking down the elements of your previous work into small, definable skills. Look at yourself differently – through the eyes of a stranger – and don’t be ashamed to share your hidden talents and abilities.

Failure can teach you compassion and humility. Failure can offer you a new sense of power and a different way to connect with the universe – if you let it. For more info on bouncing back, read 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling.

“Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: ‘I’m with you kid. Let’s go.’ ” – Maya Angelou.

If you have any questions or thoughts on turning failure to success, please comment below!

Related posts:

1. The Key to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Coco Chanel
2. For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business
3. When You’re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know

“The willingness to win OR lose moves us out of an adversarial relationship to life and into a powerful kind of openness,” writes Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen in Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. “From such a position, we can make a greater commitment to life.”

Kitchen Table Wisdom is one of my all-time favorite books because it’s all about accepting — living and feeling – both the bitter and the sweet parts of life. There’s no doubt that life brings rejection, failure, heartache, disappointment, and pain…but it also brings success, healing, joy, fulfillment, love and laughter.

We — to be successful women – have to snuggle up to failure and increase our “bouncebackability” factor!

How to Fail and Bounce Back – Rachel Naomi Remen

Dr Remen is an oncologist who never married or had children. She struggled with Crohn’s Disease for most her life, and when she was in her 20s had surgery to remove most of her intestines. Remen knows failure and heartache…and she teaches people how to bounce back to live full, passionate lives.

“Joy seems to be part of an unconditional wish to live, not holding back because life may not meet our preferences and expectations,” writes Remen. “Joy seems to be a function of the willingness to accept the whole, and to show up to meet with whatever there is.”

To bounce back from failure,  let go of your attachment to a specific outcome. Work towards your goal of healing, achieving, or being — but be open to other paths! You’ll be surprised at how many roads to and forms of success exist. For instance, one of the magazines I often wrote for last year has suddenly collapsed…and poof! Just like that, one stream of income burbles down the drain. And, my agent recently reported that his top publishers for my See Jane Soar book have more or less all rejected my proposal. Sigh.

“Rather than the warrior who fights toward a specific outcome and therefore is haunted by the specter of failure and disappointment, it is the lover drunk with the opportunity to love despite the possibility of loss, the player for whom playing is more important that winning or losing,” writes Remen.

To bounce back from failure, trust your gut. For instance, at a party last week I was fascinated by a businesswoman. When she went to refresh her drink, I followed. Five minutes later, I discovered that her health company was looking for a freelance writer to interview doctors and write articles — and I’m a freelance writer who specializes in health articles! We exchanged cards. She’s not a publisher or the editor of a national magazine, but she’s a successful businesswoman – and together, we could achieve goals that we didn’t even know were possible.

To bounce back from failure, don’t fight with your life. Dance with it. To be a successful woman — and better yet, to enjoy your life — practice trusting your gut and following up on events or with people. Be curious about life and people, not stuck on the way things “should” be. Be open to taking new paths, not focused on what “should” happen.

Have you failed and bounced back? Do you let fear of failure (or success) paralyze you? In my writing career, I’ve received dozens of rejections from magazine editors, book publishers, and literary agents…and each rejection matters less.

Don’t be afraid to take a few knocks, my friends. They’ll make you stronger!

Related posts:

1. Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou
2. 5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald
3. Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong