Here’s what Christiane Amanpour says about taking “intellectual risks”…

“There’s what I call intellectual risk. Do you tell the truth? Do you speak out? Do you push the limit with your bosses, colleagues, friends, and family? Do you stand up for what you believe is right? And are you prepared to live with the risks of doing that?”

When was the last time you told the truth, pushed your limits, stood up for what you believe is right?

My Biggest Risk

Tweeting Bible verses and stuff about Christianity seems like a big risk for me to take. I’m QuipsAndTips on Twitter, I have over 7,000 followers, and I’m reluctant to tweet stuff about Jesus because…it just feels risky! Partly because “Quips and Tips” is my professional brand, and I don’t really want to mix my career with my personal life. And partly because I don’t want people to think of me as a conservative Christian (I’m more like Anne Lamott than Ruth Graham).

I don’t think I’m making Jesus proud.

What about you – what’s the biggest intellectual risk you could take?

Christiane Amanpour is the anchor of ABC News’ This Week. She was CNN’s Chief International Correspondent for 27 years – she fearlessly parachuted into conflict areas in the Bosnia and Gulf wars.

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3. 9 Tips for Taking Control of Your Money for Women

Ayaan Hirsi Ali wrote Infidel, a memoir describing her traditional Muslim childhood in Somalia, Saudi Arabia, and Kenya (where I lived for three years…I’ve been to the streets and neighborhoods she described!). Ali survived a variety of situations that many women could not bounce back from…and neither has she, really.

Ali broke away from dutiful obedience and spoke out against traditional cultural values. Trusting her inner voice, she questioned her family’s faith, her own belief system, and how women were treated in Muslim families. Ali became a Dutch politician and influenced that country’s and legal system.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali found her true identity — her authentic self — because she trusted her inner voice.

She now lives in hiding. Read her book to learn more — her life is fascinating — and read on for five ways to get the most out of your own life…

5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

1. Listen to your instincts. Put other people’s expectations and opinions aside. What do you think, feel, and want? Part of finding your true identity and trusting your inner voice is letting go of the question “What will people think?” Getting older helps with accepting that people may not think what you want them to think…and letting that go. Becoming a strong woman involves tuning into your instincts and living the life you want – like Ayaan Hirsi Ali did.

2. Stay connected to your dreams and goals. You have responsibilities, duties, expectations, and life to deal with, which makes it more difficult to stay focused on who you really are and what you really want out of life. But, to start pursuing your dreams right now, you need only picturing yourself where you want to be in a year, or five years. Visualization is an effective way to get what you want out of life because it helps you learn to trust your inner voice and get started on the path to success.

3. Express your authentic emotions. If you feel angry, get your anger out – without burying your feelings in chocolate ice cream, cigarettes, wine, or frenzied activity. If you’re sad, cry or write in your journal or pray instead of shopping or watching TV. Staying in touch with your true emotions is hard (and expressing them can be even harder), but it’s a great way to make the most of your life!

4. Choose your activities carefully. Instead of participating in activities you feel lukewarm about or outright don’t wanna do, learn to say no without feeling guilty or ashamed. Limit your activities to things that represent who you are and what you believe in. When you choose what you really want to do, you’ll discover who you really are. Maybe you’ll be viewed as an infidel — but that may actually be the highest compliment you’ll ever receive! There are worse things to be compared to than strong women like Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

5. Take risks. To find your true self and live the life of your dreams, challenge yourself to try new things. Reach out to people. Let yourself be vulnerable and don’t be afraid to make waves. Trust your inner voice when it comes to taking risks, especially when you’re afraid, and find creative solutions to your problems. Being an authentic woman involves risks – there’s no doubt about it. But “if there aren’t any dragons, it’s not an adventure worth telling,” says Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Let Ayaan Hirsi Ali inspire you to get the most out of your life – and to be grateful for the life you have.

Related posts:

1. 6 Ways to Create a Vision Board That Works – Martha Beck
2. 6 Ways to Retain a Sense of Self When You’re in Love – Susan B. Anthony
3. 5 Ways to Help a Friend With Breast Cancer – Suzanne Somers

First, a warning from Erma Bombeck:

“Marriage has no guarantees,” she said. “If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”

One guarantee is that your marriage will change over time – and sometimes it’ll be less healthy than others. Healthy couples get mad at each other – and because of that, they may live longer. Healthy couples seek hidden treasures, choose green battles, and let their individualities strengthen the marriage as a whole. Here are five simple habits for healthy marriages; for more in-depth tips, click The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert.

5 Habits of a Healthy Marriage – Erma Bombeck

“Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving,” says Bombeck. That’s not one gift you want to give your spouse – guilt is definitely not a habit of a healthy couple! But these are…

1. Learn to express anger, hurt, or frustration. An important part of married life is conflict resolution – and most couples aren’t trained to do this, says Ernest Harburg, professor emeritus at the University of Michigan. His research reveals that couples who suppress anger are twice as likely to face early death as those who express it. Getting mad without hurting your spouse is a healthy marriage habit that can improve your physical and emotional health. Related to this is your retaining a sense of personal identity when you’re in love.

2. Pick your green battles. Joining forces to affect your environment not only gives you a common goal and unites you as married couple, it’s good for the planet too. Choose an eco-battle together, such as adopting a nearby park and doing a weekly “garbage march.” Or plant a garden at home or in the community, focusing on organic fruits and veggies. Learn how to compost, and lighten the load in the landfills. Once your new behavior becomes a habit for your marriage, you can add another healthy habit – and soon you’ll be the greenest couple on the block!

3. End the day talking about your highs and lows. Make it a point to discuss the ups and downs in your marriage, family, and individual lives, and to look for the good in the bad. “During dinner we talk about what we enjoyed best and least that day,” says Tanya, a mother of three on Bowen Island, BC. “It’s a great way for our kids to listen to each other’s stories and problems, help find solutions, understand that we all experience ups and downs, relate to each other, laugh, and illustrate that life is like a rollercoaster.”

4. Make it a habit to volunteer as a married couple or family. “Contributing as a family not only helps [others], but it also strengthens the contributing family in the process,” writes Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. “Can you imagine the bonding, the sense of fulfillment, the sense of shared joy?” Volunteer opportunities include helping out annually at a camp for disabled kids, serving monthly at a food bank, or walking dogs weekly at an animal shelter.

5. Take risks and seek hidden treasure. A great habit for healthy marriages is trying new things together, such as juggling, geocaching for treasures, or making sushi. Psychology professor Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado explains why happiness is found in your life experiences (not your possessions). Experiences are open to positive reinterpretations, become a meaningful part of your identity, and contribute to successful relationships. When you experience something as a married couple – such as learning something new together – you build memories that you can reminisce and laugh about later. Those experiences unite you and become part of who you are as a married couple.

A final quotation about marriage from Erma Bombeck:

“People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife,” said Erma Bombeck. “The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.” If you’re still in the market for a good husband, you might find How to Find a Good Boyfriend Who Will Be a Loving Husband helpful!

What makes your marriage healthy? If you have any tips, I welcome you below!

Related posts:

1. Women Considering Divorce – A Quips and Tips Article
2. Finding a Good Boyfriend – a Quips and Tips Article
3. Signs of a Financially Independent Woman – Quips and Tips

Susan B. Anthony changed women’s liberation in 19^th century North America, and was largely responsible for achieving women’s suffrage and voting rights.

“Independence is happiness,” she said.

Actually, I think interdependence is happiness: a healthy balance of being needed and needing people. If you’re totally independent, you’re not uniting or bonding with anyone – you’re all alone. For more info about the tension between independence and interdependence, click Know Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence. And, read on for several ways to keep your personal identity intact when you’re in love…

Retaining a Sense of Self When You’re in Love – Susan B. Anthony

Take professional and personal risks. “Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform,” said Susan B. Anthony. “Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation.” You may not be reforming women’s voting rights, but you’re reforming your world when you stay independent as a woman and cultivate healthy interdependence! Independence involves taking risks and learning what you can and can’t do. The more risks you take in your career and personal life, the more you’ll learn about yourself and others…and the stronger your sense of self will be.

Stay financially solvent. There’s nothing more crippling than having no money (besides struggling with poor health or a chronic illness). Without money, your choices are limited and your independence is compromised. If you’re married, keep a separate bank account and build your own little nest egg. Make sure your assets as a couple are in your name as well as his – and keep your eye on the bills and outgoing expenses. 

Embrace your age! “The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world,” said Susan B. Anthony. “I am like a snowball – the further I am rolled the more I gain.” I love this quotation – Anthony was a successful woman who changed the world. She recognized that her age was a benefit, a strength, not something to hide or be ashamed of.

Stay physically healthy. Exercise and eating foods to sustain good health isn’t just about weight loss and better health. Staying fit increases self-esteem, strength, self-confidence, and independence for women. When you’re physically fit, you feel better about yourself – and you have a stronger sense of self.

Stay emotionally healthy. What books, people, events, Web sites, or things help you feel connected to yourself? For instance, I love Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance – just opening that book up to a random page makes me feel more focused and in touch with who I am as a woman. When you’re in love – especially in a new romantic relationship – make sure you’re not succumbing to unhealthy fears, insecurities, or anxieties.

Have a life outside your marriage or love relationship. Who are you, apart from being a girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc? What do you love to do? To stay independent as a woman, take time to do things apart from your boyfriend or husband. Stay in touch with your personal identity by tuning in to who you are as woman, not just as a partner.

If you’re new to the dating game, read How to Find a Good Boyfriend Who Will Be a Loving Husband.

And if you have any thoughts or questions about retaining a sense of self when you’re in love, please comment below!

Related posts:

1. 7 Simple Habits of Healthy Women – Susan B. Anthony
2. 5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali
3. Finding the Motivation to Do What You Love – Julia Cameron

One of my favorite women here on See Jane Soar is Queen Latifah, who repeatedly said she wasn’t on the Jenny Craig diet to lose weight for appearance-based reasons. Her weight loss goals were based on having a healthier body and lifestyle. I love that!

And here’s what else Queen Latifah says:

“All my life I’ve been in a battle to overcome my fears. I’ve had to take that chance with everything I’ve done, from riding my bike down that driveway, to skateboarding, to soccer, to every sport I every tried out for.”

That’s what increasing low self-esteem is all about: trying things that scare you and dealing with the fallout. To learn more about taking risks and growing as a woman, click Know Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence. And, read on for five ways to increase low self-esteem…

5 Ways to Increase Self Esteem for Overweight Women – Queen Latifah

1. Don’t feast your eyes on models. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research shows that an overweight woman’s self-esteem plummets when she looks at photographs of model in magazines – no matter how thin or overweight the model is. The more models overweight women saw, the worse they felt about themselves. These researchers recommend avoiding women’s magazines, but that’s well-nigh impossible! Not to mention Hollywood movies and TV shows, which revolve around think beautiful women. For tips on increasing your self-esteem while surrounded by skinny people, read Increase Your Body Confidence While Reading Women’s Magazines.

2. Move your body. The more you put your body through the paces – dance, yoga, Pilates, hiking, swimming, or whatever you love to do – the better you’ll feel about yourself. This isn’t about weight loss; it’s about increasing the mind-body connection and taking risks. Don’t fall into the “I’m too fat, I’ll look stupid in Zumba class, everyone will laugh at me” trap. Instead, find an activity you enjoy (for instance, I’m a huge fan of the 10 Minute Solutions DVDs), and commit to moving your body and getting your blood boiling at least three times a week.

3. Know your self-esteem pitfalls. To increase your self-esteem as an overweight woman, figure out when you feel the worst about yourself. Is it after a visit or phone call with your mom or sister? Is it at work, when a certain coworker is around? Is it at night, when you’re tired and stressed? You don’t necessarily need to change those triggers; simply being aware that you will feel bad about yourself after X will help you avoid the consequences (binge eating, if you’re like me!).

4. Differentiate between external and internal triggers. An example of an external trigger for feeling bad about yourself is when someone criticizes or insults you. An internal trigger is you telling yourself you’re overweight because you’re bad, worthless, dumb, or lazy. What type of trigger decreases your self-esteem most often? And, is there anything you can do about that trigger? Taking control of the situations and people that decrease your self-confidence is empowering. And, anything empowering you will increase your self-esteem.

5. Keep doing what you’re good at. Identifying what you’re good at – or your best qualities – is difficult for many women. For instance, I’m trying to think of what I’m good at right now…and I can’t! Not all of us are taught to be our own cheerleaders or share our strengths. We tend to focus on our weaknesses, mistakes, and regrets…not on the things we do well. So, to increase your self-esteem, don’t just remember what you’re good at…do that thing regularly. And, savor your ability or talent! It sets you apart and makes you special – and it has nothing to do with your weight.

“It might sound cliché, but beauty for me really does start on the inside,” says Queen Latifah. “It’s like a state of mind, a state of love if you will. Then, whatever you can do on the outside is all like a bonus.”

If you want to lose a few pounds — though that doesn’t guarantee high self-esteem! – read 10 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds – Julia Cameron.

And if you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to increase low self-esteem, I welcome you below…

Related posts:

1. 10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah
2. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
3. 5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling

The life lesson: even if you love to write, paint, dance, or learn – it’s still a struggle to find the time, energy, and motivation to do what you love! The successful woman: Julia Cameron.

Cameron wrote this funky little book called How to Avoid Making Art (or Anything Else You Enjoy).

It’s a quick read, with drawings that illustrate her point that there are millions of things we do instead of chasing our dreams. The illustrations represent all the stuff we do when we know better, when we should be doing what we love. It’s stuff that steals our energy, time, and life…and our dreams.

I’ve taken Julia Cameron’s tongue-in-cheek advice for avoiding doing you love, and turned each statement around. It’s now motivation to do what you love, my friends!

Finding the Motivation to Do What You Love – Julia Cameron

“Be available to everyone at any time. Do not nurture yourself or set boundaries.” Finding the motivation to do what you love means you have to take care of you. It’ll be hard to do at first – for both you and your people – but once you all get used to it, you’re on your way!

“Acquire a high maintenance relationship.” By this, I think Julia Cameron means hooking up with a partner or friend who needs your constant attention. Some people need more time and energy than others (high maintenance!), if you invite such people into your life, you’re stealing your own time and energy.

“Talk about it so you don’t have to do it.” Finding the motivation to do what you love means stop talking about your longing to be a doctor or writer or mother. Start taking action steps towards small, specific goals.

“Surround yourself with jealous, blocked, negative companions.” Oh man. Julia Cameron must have personal experience with “friends” like this. To find the motivation to do what you love, surround yourself with creative, inspirational people who support, love, and encourage you.

“Let others’ problems become your problems so that your time and energy are depleted.” Instead of taking on other people’s problems and expectations, let them work out their own stuff. That’ll give you the time, energy, and motivation to do you love. Read Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations – Maria Shriver for help letting go!

“If your pets aren’t high maintenance enough, get more of them to take up any extra free time or money you might have.” To find the motivation to do what you love, draw the line at high-maintenance pets (just like high-maintenance friends). Simplify your life, and focus on where you really want to go.

“Tell yourself you can’t afford art supplies. Buy five expensive cappuccinos while you discuss this with friends.” Ha ha ha, Julia Cameron. It’s funny because it’s true! Where do you spend your money? Are you losing the motivation to do what you love because you’re buying too many shoes or hats or cappuccinos? Budget your money so you have the resources to do what you love.

You know when you’re letting life, friends, kids, work, or tv drain your time and energy. You know when you’re not acting in your own best interests, or when you’re ignoring your gut instincts, or when you’ve lost the motivation to do what you love.

You know when you’re wasting your life.

Get to it, my friends. Find your way back to your artist’s easel, school, exercise routine, travel adventures, or writing project.

Get back to your life.

And if you’re not ready to get back to your life yet, read How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart!

What are your thoughts on these finding the motivation to do what you love? I welcome your comments below!

Related posts:

1. 10 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds – Julia Cameron
2. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
3. Increase Your Creativity and Fire Up the Muse – Erica Jong

“As one goes through life, one learns that if you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move.” – Katharine Hepburn.

For more inspiration and motivation, click on This is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down by Deborah Collins Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Crisini Risley, and Jan Yanehiro. And, read on for five steps to being a successful woman, inspired by quotations from Anita Roddick, Barbara Walters, Dorothea Brande, and Linda Ronstadt. See Jane Soar!

5 Ways to be a Successful Woman – Katherine Hepburn

You may be interested in reading The Definition of a Successful Woman – Eleanor Roosevelt.

1. Take back your power. You give away your power when you say or think things like, “Oh, I couldn’t do that!” and “I don’t deserve this,” and “How could anyone find me attractive, or hire me, or pay me that much money?” The first step to being a successful woman is to take back your power. Find the support and guidance you need; overcome your habit of being your own worst critic. Listen to Katherine Hepburn’s advice, and learn to paddle your own canoe.

2. Identify what’s holding you back.  “It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not,” said Barbara Walters. Do you think you’re not smart enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, or not strong enough? The second step to being a successful woman is to identify how you’re holding yourself back. Be aware of what you’re afraid of.

3. Tune in to your talents. “Have you let other people talk out you of pursuing something you’re good at?” ask the authors in This is Not the Life I Ordered. ”Have you bowed to pressure and abandoned a project that was meaningful to you?” Don’t let other people’s criticism or indifference quell your dreams. And remember — you are meaningful and valuable just the way you are.  “If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito,” said Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop.

4. Clean up your “to-do” list. The fourth step to being a successful woman is to get rid of your emotional and physical clutter! Get rid of the things you don’t need to do, that don’t matter, that don’t create value, that don’t make a difference. Figure out if you’re taking responsibility for stuff that isn’t yours. Make sure everything takes you toward the your goals and dreams – not away.

5. Create an upward spiral. Successful women turn “woe is me” into action - and proceed confidently. Poet Dorothea Brande said, ”All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail.” No matter what you’re struggling with or how defeated you feel, take one step forward. Maybe that means calling for a college course guide or searching for grief support groups on the internet.

Maybe creating an upward spiral means that you have to accept change and take risks:

“So life changes and you have to change too. I don’t like change, but I’ve learned you just put your hands over your eyes and step off the edge.” – Linda Ronstadt.

What do you think about these steps to being a successful woman? I welcome your comments below…

Related posts:

1. 5 Signs of a Fearless Woman – Judge Marilyn Milian
2. The Definition of a Successful Woman – Eleanor Roosevelt
3. 6 Steps to Solving Almost Any Work Problem – Helen Gurley Brown

“I don’t act the way society dictates that a woman ‘should,’ writes Queen Latifah in Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman. “I am not dainty. I do not hold back my opinions. I don’t stay behind a man. I’m not here to live by somebody elses’ standards. I’m defining what a woman is for myself. Simply put, I am not interested in subscribing to what society has decided for half of humankind.”

Queen Latifah said this even before starting Jenny Craig’s weight loss program – and she’s been very clear that she’s not losing weight to society’s standards. Rather, she wants to be fit, healthy, and strong for herself — which is the best reason! Click on Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman to learn more about her, and read on for ten ways to build your self-confidence levels.

10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah

1. Accept that you might feel guilty when you say no – but say no anyway. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you fulfill everyone else’s expectations and behave the way society thinks you should. Instead, say “yes” only to the requests you can fulfill without depleting yourself, and separate others’ expectations from your own.

2. Make your appearance a part of who you are as a whole woman. You dishonor yourself when you dress for others and change your body to please your partner (wax, botox, hate your body, envy skinny models). Don’t compare yourself to others, especially images of air-brushed perfection. To build the self-confidence of Queen Latifah, remind yourself that you are MORE than your appearance!

3. Plan small steps that move you towards your dreams and goals. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you: Clean the house, garden, ferry kids to soccer practice, paint the deck, cook meals, darn the socks when you need to take care of yourself. Stop wishing, and start acting in ways that move you forward.

4. Own your career. Think of yourself as an entrepreneur, even if you work for someone else. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you: don’t speak up at meetings, accept extra work even though you’re overloaded, let others take credit, don’t consider pursuing the education or job that you’re passionate about, or let colleagues destroy your self concept and self esteem. To build your self-confidence, focus on your career as if you were an entrepreneur.

5. Avoid soul-deadening activities. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you participate in activities you feel lukewarm about or outright hate, go to places that make you feel uncomfortable, or act like a martyr. Instead, tune in to your spirit through mediation, prayer, and time for yourself.

6. Take control of your health issues. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you ignore your physical problems and let your doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor totally control your prescriptions, diagnoses, and schedule. Instead of hoping that they know what they’re doing, you can build self-confidence by taking charge of your health.

7. Know what you really think – even if you choose not to voice it. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you swallow your opinions, ignore your ideas, and stifle your creativity. To build the self-confidence of Queen Latifah, express yourself through writing, painting, creating, producing, etc.

8. Learn why you’re overeating, overspending, overcriticizing. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you bury your feelings in chocolate ice cream, heroin, cigarettes, wine, excessive activity. Stop immersing yourself in shopping, watching TV, gossiping, and extreme busyness! Instead, face your feelings head-on. Face what you’re afraid to know.

9. Pick friends who support, honor, and love you. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you spend time with people who criticize, condemn, or deplete you. Instead of letting your family, friends or society dictate who you are, build your self-confidence by tuning into what you really think and feel.

10. Define what “taking risks” means to you – and take a little one every day. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you don’t trust yourself, don’t reach out to others, don’t be vulnerable, and above all don’t make waves. Take a small risk every day, whether that’s saying hi to your postal carrier or saying no to your mom!

My new favorite saying is: “To get something you’ve never had, do something you’ve never done.”

How do you build your self-confidence levels? Please comment below – I’d love to hear from you.

Related posts:

1. 5 Ways to Increase Self Esteem for Overweight Women – Queen Latifah
2. 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling
3. Improving a Negative Body Image – Christina Aguilera

“My husband wasn’t sweet to me,” said Thelma to the cop as she put him into the trunk of his own police cruiser. “And look how I turned out.”

Geena Davis played Thelma and Susan Sarandon was Louise – and Brad Pitt made one of his first appearances as the hottie hitchhiker/bad boy J.D. Click on the DVD cover to go to Thelma and Louise, and read on for ten life lessons from these successful women (which is up for debate!)…

10 Life Lessons From Thelma and Louise

1. You get what you settle for. “I still have to ask Darryl if I can go,” Thelma said. “He never lets me do a g-d damned thing. “You get what you settle for,” said Louise. Darryl treated Thelma like crap – but the thing is, she let him. She took everything he dished out without speaking up for herself. To be a successful woman, you need to stop settling!

2. Celebrate your differences. This life lesson from the Thelma and Louise movie involves not just tolerating your friends’ differences, but celebrating them. Thelma was a married stay-at-home housewife with a domineering, annoying husband. She wasn’t as mature or jaded as Louise, who worked as a waitress in a coffee shop and had a lot more life experience (including being raped earlier in her life).

3. Take care of yourself. Always, always watch your back, even when you’re having fun, even when you’re surrounded by people you trust. Thelma drank too much at a roadside bar and ended up in the parking lot with Harlan; Louise stopped him from raping her. “We’re just having a little fun,” Harlan said. “In the future, when a woman’s crying like that, she ain’t having any fun,” Louise said, voice trembling. “I should’ve f-ked her,” said Harlan. “Suck my —.” So Louise shot him. “You watch your mouth, buddy,” she whispered. Louise knew not only how to take care of herself, she knew how to take care of Thelma, too. And Harlan. That makes her a successful woman…I think!

4. Trust your gut. Louise did not want to pick up that hottie hitchhiker (Brad Pitt); her gut instinct told her to stay away. Thelma, who doesn’t seem to have much of a gut instinct to trust, wanted to give him a ride and wouldn’t stop talking about it. So, they ended up giving him a ride, and it was the second biggest mistake they made.

5. Pick your battles. “He is an asshole,” Thelma said about her husband. “Most of the time I just let it slide.” This life lesson from the Thelma and Louise movie isn’t about letting things slide; it’s about knowing where to draw the line. Setting your boundaries is about self-respect. People will treat you the way you let them – in fact, you teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself and what you’ll take from others. Successful women set boundaries and stick to them.

6. Buckle up for the consequences. This life lesson from the Thelma and Louise movie runs through the whole movie: Whether you’re hooked up with a bad boy or the most decent husband in the world, be prepared for the natural consequences. Like what? The possibility that you’ll get hurt – whether he’s never around when you need him or he’s around too much. Or, he could steal all your money…like J.D. did to Thelma and Louise. Don’t let this stop you from taking risks to be successful, but just be prepared for what happens next. No whining about the bad stuff!

7. Take turns being strong. Louise was the strong woman throughout most of the movie. Until J.D. stole their money; then, Thelma became strong. Sex with J.D. gave her the self-confidence she needed to take control of her life. By the end – when Thelma was putting the crying cop into the trunk of his police cruiser – Louise wasn’t the only strong woman in the movie. The life lesson: be strong sometimes, and be weak sometimes. To be a successful woman, you need to find a healthy balance between giving and taking.

8. Take risks. Thelma, in her new role as the strong woman, robbed the store to get the money that they needed to get to Mexico to start their lives over again. I’m not advocating robbery – I’m saying that the life lesson from the Thelma and Louise movie is about trying new things and taking risks despite your fears.

9. Open up. Keeping secrets creates distance between you and your spouse, friends, and family. Louise waited until the end of the movie to tell Thelma that she was raped in Texas, in her earlier life. Throughout their friendship, Thelma never really knew Louise because she was afraid to open up.

10. Be comfortable with loose ends. The last life lesson from Thelma and Louise has to be about the ending — because we don’t know how it ends! And that’s exactly how life is: we don’t know for sure how it’s gonna end because it’s never really over…until it’s really over.

What’s your take on these life lessons from the Thelma and Louise movie? Actually, I’m more curious to know if you think they’re successful women! I think they died at the end of the movie…did they live life fully?

Related posts:

1. Secrets of Successful Women – 6 Life Lessons From Maria Shriver
2. What Halloween Costumes Reveal About Personality Traits
3. 5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

The life lesson: some women hide from happiness by staying in bad relationships, binge eating Ding Dongs and Fritos, or ignoring their gut instincts. The successful woman who drives this life lesson (and many others) home: Dr Laura Schlessinger.

I haven’t listened to Dr Laura in ages, but I did flip through her Stop Whining, Start Living book recently. Her “are you hiding from happiness?” question can open a Pandora’s box of questions.

The idea of hiding from happiness seems a little crazy, and we’re all quick to say “NO – of course I’m not hiding from happiness – you must be mad!” But I get so many sad questions on my “addictive relationships” and “cheating spouses” articles…it really does seem like women are hiding from happiness.

Hiding From Happiness – Dr Laura Schlessinger

Life lesson: it’s easier to hide from happiness by staying in unhealthy relationships, bad jobs, horrible apartments, and ugly cities than it is to take a risk and live a fulfilling life.

In Stop Whining, Dr Laura described her caller, Jane, who was living with a man for 12 years who refused to marry her or even consummate their relationship. “Jane represents a lot of you who are terribly determined to avid risk,” writes Dr Laura. “You stay with the pain you know and avoid the possibility of joys, for the pains they might bring with them.”

Life lesson #2: If you have the same problem now that you did six months or six years ago – then you’re not solving with your problems. The Jane that Dr Laura was talking to didn’t solve her problem for 12 whole years. Don’t be that Jane, my gal pals.

What problem do you have, that’s lasted for years? I’ve been ramming my head against the “please publish my book because it’s amazing” wall for years and years now…and I’m tired of getting rejection after rejection! If I am hiding from happiness, it’s by not learning to be a better writer or researching the market so I can come up with better book ideas.

Question for Dr Laura – or you! How do you know if you’re hiding from happiness?

How have you solved a long-term problem? I decided to get a literary agent, since it wasn’t working to pitch publishers on my own. And I’m pitching him new book ideas all the time – because I know that sooner or letter, one will make me a bestselling author! (it’s taking a lifetime, but I’ll get there).

For more info on Dr Laura Schlessinger, go to DrLaura.com.

Related posts:

1. Are You Happier as a Working Mom or a Stay-at-Home Mom? – Dr Laura Schlessinger
2. 5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali
3. Stop Feeling Guilty Over a Relationship Breakup – Quips and Tips