First, two quotations about divorce from strong women in history: Zsa Zsa Gabor and Margaret Atwood….

“I’m an excellent housekeeper,” said Zsa Zsa Gabor. “Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”

On a more serious note, Margaret Atwood said, “A divorce is like an amputation; you survive it, but there’s less of you.”

If you’re a woman considering divorce, you need to know the signs it’s time to leave your husband. Unhappy marriages often have solid indications that divorce is inevitable, according to Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Susan Pease Gadoua. Read the book for details, and check out these signs you should leave your husband…

Women Considering Divorce – Signs You Should Leave Your Husband

“There are certain factors that suggest a relationship is workable and salvageable,” writes Gadoua. “There are other factors in marriages that, if present, indicate a low probability that the relationship will be healthy or fulfilling. I call these workability factors.”

Here’s a list of Gadoua’s indications of unhappy marriages, specifically related to safety, love, and esteem needs (based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs).

You might consider divorce if your safety needs aren’t being met because of…

• Lack of trust
• Pathological dishonesty
• Lack of mental, emotional, physical, or financial safety
• Abuse (read Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship for more info)
• No communication

You might work on saving the marriage if trust was broken but is reparable, if there’s a mutual desire to create a safe environment, if there is care, concern, and communication.

It may be time to leave your husband if these love needs aren’t being met:

• Absence of mutual love
• Infidelity
• No shared interests
• One or both spouses aren’t fully committed to the marriage
• One-sided relationship

If you’re considering divorce, you might think about saving your marriage if there is a foundation of mutual love, if both partners are willing to work through physical or emotional infidelity, and if both spouses are willing to recommit to staying married.

But remember: love doesn’t conquer all! You can love your husband with all your heart, but not be able to build a strong, happy marriage together – especially if you’ve lost your personal identity. The lack of romantic love may not always lead to divorce, and the presence of love doesn’t lead to a happy marriage. As Zsa Zsa Gabor said, “Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.”

You might consider divorce if your esteem needs aren’t being met because of…

• No esteem from self or spouse, and no desire to change
• No respect at all from spouse
• No common goals
• Unwillingness of at least one spouse to work on marriage

Does your marriage have a foundation of respect, some common goals, and a willingness to work on esteem and marriage issues on the part of both partners? If so, it might be worthwhile to try to save your marriage.

There are no quick and easy answers for women considering divorce – and even the surest signs that it may be time to leave your husband can be complicated and confusing.

“I’ve had countless clients tell me that they don’t want to divorce because they are afraid of losing the co-parenting relationship or their spouse’s income, only to eventually realize that they alone already carry the load of responsibilities,” says Gadoua. “The spouse doesn’t contribute to the marriage but, rather, takes from it.”

Sometimes, divorce for women leads to an easier, more liberated, happier life – especially if you’re leaving an emotionally or mentally abusive relationship.

A final thought from Zsa Zsa Gabor:

“You never really know a man until you have divorced him.”

If you’re considering divorce and have questions or thoughts on these signs it’s time to leave your husband, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. Surviving Online Affairs – A Quips and Tips Article
2. Finding a Good Boyfriend – a Quips and Tips Article
3. Habits of a Healthy Marriage – Quips and Tips

Here’s what she said when asked about the danger of flying:

“I am quite aware of the hazards,” said Earhart. “I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, failure must be a challenge to others.”

I love how Earhart compared women to men – and accepted that failure happens. She was criticized publicly, despite her smashing successes — and she learned to overcome failure.  If you’re reaching for success but can’t quite reach it, read Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently.

And, here’s how Earhart succeeded despite criticism…

Succeeding Despite Criticism – Amelia Earhart

Foolish publicity stunts? Some of Amelia’s ventures, such as her solo flight from Honolulu to Washington in 1935, were criticized as foolish publicity stunts. If she was lost at sea – and she indeed crashed on land several times – she would cost the taxpayers millions of dollars in search and rescue efforts (which she eventually did, to the tune of $4 million).

Flying without a purpose? Plus, Earhart used the U.S. Army’s public resources, such as runways and manpower, to get her “ships” in the air. People sometimes questioned the purpose of her flights. One Newsweek reporter wrote, “Every so often Miss Earheart, like other prominent flyers, pulls a spectacular stunt to hit the front pages. This enhances a flyer’s value as a cigarette endorser, helps finance new planes, [and] sometimes publishes a book.”

Useless adventures? A journalist from the British weekly The Aeroplane called her solo journey across the Atlantic “a useless adventure” because she had already proven her courage and ability. This reporter suggested that Amelia’s drive to achieve was because of “boredom – a dangerous feature of modern life.”

Amelia Earhart flew as often and as far as she could, and despite criticism from some paparazzi members, she succeeded. She bounced back and overcame failure. That alone – aside from her records in speed and distance – makes her a successful, strong woman in history.

To succeed despite criticism, remember that it’s not always about you. “Don’t take things personally; someone’s always going to be mad at you and that’s okay,” writes Robert K. Cooper in The Other 90%: How to Unlock Your Vast Untapped Potential for Leadership and Life. “What other people convey – in what they think, feel, say, and do – is rarely about you; instead, it’s almost always about them.” 

Earhart’s critics may have been dealing with their own issues – and even if they weren’t, who cares? Life is too short to get our panties in a knot because of what people say! Read 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling to increase your “bouncebackability” factor.

And, don’t let criticism slow you down! No matter what you do or how hard you try, there will be some people — such as difficult family members — who don’t understand and who will criticize you. It’s inevitable.

Listen to what your critics say, decide whether there’s a life lesson in there for you, and either let it go or learn from it. Don’t obsess about criticism, worry about it, or let it stop you from achieving your goals. In everthing exists a possible way to see Jane soar!

How do you respond to criticism – and have you succeeded anyway? How do you take back your power and turn ”woe is me” into action?

Related posts:

1. How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart
2. Succeeding by Taking Risks – Amelia Earhart
3. Earning Money to Pursue Your Passions – Amelia Earhart