“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,” says Quindlen, “is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of being yourself.”

Giving up on certain goals for your own good involves:

• looking at your goals
• determining if they’re achievable and healthy
• either re-evaluating them or giving them up entirely

Giving up for your own good is about learning how to let go of your goals without feeling like a failure. It’s about seeing success and opportunity in quitting — and about quitting one goal to make room for another. For help setting and achieving your intentions in life, read What Are Your Goals: Powerful Questions to Discover What You Want Out of Life. And, here are two ways to know if your goals are good for you…

How to Know if Your Goals Are Good for You

Before you think about letting go of certain goals, consider these two guidelines:

1. Does your goal represent who you are? “If you’re pursuing something that doesn’t honor who you are, it’ll make you sick,” says Sandra Anne Taylor, co-author of Secrets of Success: The Science and Spirit of Real Prosperity. “The results will be negative.” Whether your goal is professional, personal, social or spiritual – it has to honor who you are to be worthwhile. Your goal has to be in line with your personality, beliefs, values, and future plans.

2. Surrender the outcome of your dreams. “Surrender the outcome so that you don’t move into urgency and desperation,” says Taylor. “Take action towards your goals, and periodically stop to reevaluate if the action is working. Be flexible with that action, and move in a different direction if necessary.”

This doesn’t mean that you stop caring about the outcome of your efforts – or achieving your goals. Surrendering the outcome means you’re open to anything. You can flow into new experiences and re-evaluate what’s not working. You still hope and dream, but you’re not clinging to one particular outcome.

Some goals you’ll want to give up on because the time has passed and it’s not healthy for you to continue. Other goals just require that you stay focused, determined, and resilient! The trick is knowing when to keep trying, and when to move on — which is why creating a life plan is important.

Setting new intentions and goals in life is a process. Being a successful, strong, empowered woman doesn’t happen overnight. For instance, I’m slowly beginning to realize that getting pregnant and having my own biological children may something I need to let go of. I think the gradual process of accepting that it’s time to let go of certain life dreams and hopes makes it much easier to move towards something new and different.

Also – learning how to fail and bounce back (resiliency) is an important component of being an authentic, strong, successful woman.

Are you determined to achieve goals that aren’t good for you, or that are even impossible? I welcome your thoughts and questions below…

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Related posts:

1. 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women
2. Creating a Successful Life Plan for Women – Serena Williams
3. How Not to Lose Your Personal Identity in a Romantic Relationship

These 10 habits of highly successful women are practical, easy, and effective — and they’re what “See Jane Soar” is all about! These tips for success range from maintaining your hormonal balance to letting go of the past – and they affect your mind, body, and soul.

First, a quotation from writer Anais Nin:

“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.”

Taking action is one of the most important habits of successful women…and so is dreaming. For inspiration and practical advice for succeeding in life after failure or knock-out punches, click on This is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down by Deborah Collins Stephens et al.

10 Habits of Highly Successful Women

1. Maintain your hormonal balance. Are you moody, exhausted, irritable, or sad? Check your hormones. If they’re out of whack, then you’ll struggle to be successful! Make sure you’re getting enough protein and vitamins, and decrease your refined sugars and carbohydrates.

2. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Highly successful women don’t obsess or feel guilty about past choices or failures. They make mistakes, move on, and apply what they’ve learned to new situations.

3. Connect with who you are. Being a daughter, wife, or mother is one aspect of your life. It doesn’t define who you are as a woman. To connect with who you are, find and express your authentic self. The more authentic you are, the more appealing you’ll be to others – and to yourself!

4. Avoid energy vampires. Do you feel drained or sad after spending time with a particular friend, coworker, or relative? Limit the time you spend with him or her. Note how you feel after visiting with a certain person; if you feel energized and happy, then you’re in good company. Highly successful women choose their companions wisely.

5. Speak kindly to yourself! If you beat yourself up for being overweight, a “bad” mom, or not exercising enough, you just create a downward spiral. Highly successful women remind themselves of their achievements and successes. They refuse to tell themselves negative things; they accept themselves.

6. Listen to your body. I heard Oprah Winfrey say this about 10 years ago: listen to what your body is telling you. Are you emotionally hungry or physically hungry? Feed yourself properly. Are you sad, furious, or depressed? Follow your body’s cues.

7. Volunteer your time. Find something that takes you out of your comfort zone or that you love to do. You’ll feel great that you’re helping others out – and volunteering directly improves your physical health. Highly successful women step out of their comfort zones and takes risks.

8. Let go of perfectionism. Strive to do your best, but let go of perfectionist tendencies. Accepting that you’re doing the best you can is a habit of highly successful women. Letting go of perfectionism is vitamins and exercise for the soul!

9. Use your core strengths. Are you a natural mathematician, writer, or party planner? Discover your core strengths by trying different things until you find what fits. To take risks and try new things, take short-term volunteer positions or volunteer for new projects at work or in your community.

10. Take time for yourself. This habit for highly successful women is my favorite: take time to recharge your batteries and refuel your emotional, spiritual, and physical energy. Spend at least a few minutes alone each day – even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do it!

Have a missed a habit of highly successful women – or do you have any comments on any of the above? I welcome your thoughts below!

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Related posts:

1. Creating a Successful Life Plan for Women – Serena Williams
2. How to Know if Your Goals Are Good for You – Anna Quindlen
3. 7 Simple Habits of Healthy Women – Susan B. Anthony