“Women need to develop a healthy, honest relationship with our money,” says financial guru Suze Orman. “And we have to see this relationship as a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.”

In other words, our financial lives (mortgage payments, credit card debt, emergency savings fund, monthly budget, etc) are part of who we are as women. The serious debt or extreme wealth in our finances directly affects our emotional, physical, and spiritual lives. For more info on women and money, click The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying. And, read on for several sings of a financially independent woman (inspired by Suze Orman!)…

5 Signs of a Financially Independent Woman – Suze Orman

1. Financially independent women are aware of their “money personalities.” Did your parents invest in real estate, a secure low-interest savings account, mutual funds – or did they struggle with debt? Your saving and spending habits, investment style, attitude about money, and financial perspective is shaped in part by the way your parents treated money in your childhood. Your money personality directly affects your relationship with money – and the more self-aware you are, the more financial independence you’ll enjoy.

2. Financially independent women take financial risks. A financial risk doesn’t necessarily mean investing $10,000 in a friend’s new business or charging a $2,500 dollar dress to a maxed-out credit card. Taking healthy financial risks includes investing in your career by going back to school full or part-time, taking a mortgage on a small piece of real estate, or exploring ways to earn money from your hobby.

3. Financially independent women have their own checking, savings, or credit card accounts. So many readers make comments on my “Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals” blog about how they want to leave their common-law or married husbands, but can’t because they have no money to support themselves. Having a separate checking or savings account is the most basic sign of a financially independent woman…and yet many women don’t have their own source of money.

4. Financially independent women have both individual and couple money goals. Our goal as a married couple is to pay off the mortgage within a few months; my goal as a businesswoman is to earn $2,500 per month from my blogs. My husband has his own financial goals, mostly related to investing money in stocks and bonds. For a woman to have true financial independence, she needs to have goals that are separate from her partner’s. If you and your partner see money differently, you might find Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple helpful!

5. Financially independent women understand basic personal finance. This is where books about money for women are so important! I can’t describe retirement investing, compound and simple interest rates, living trusts, home insurance, income tax strategies, etc here – but a basic understanding of money is crucial for women. The more you know about basic personal finance, the more independent you’ll be.

One of my favorite books about money for women is Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money (I like it better than Suze Orman’s Women and Money).

Orman has the final word about money, though:

“Remember to stay involved with your money, to nurture a healthy relationship with it, for what happens to your money affects the quality of your life and the lives of all those you love.”

Are you financially independent? If not, have no fear…read Steps to Financial Independence for Women!

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“No one ever said that starting a business was easy,” writes Stewart in The Martha Stewart Rules (10 Essentials For Achieving Success As You Start, Build, Or Manage A Business). “The reality is that companies, even the largest and most well known, falter not once, but many times.”

If you’re a female entrepreneur, you need to know how to bounce back from failure – and not let setbacks become obstacles. Here are Martha Stewart’s tips for business startups; if you want to learn more from Stewart herself, click The Martha Stewart Rules.

For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business

If this article isn’t quite what you’re looking for, try When You’re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know.

1. Build your business success around something you love – something inherently and endlessly interesting to you. So, write the book you want to read, bake the cakes you want to eat, and sell the clothes you want to wear.

2. Focus your attention and creativity on basic things, which people need and want. Then, look for ways to enlarge, improve, and enhance your Big Idea. For instance, my Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals seems to be evolving into a site about love relationships in particular, not goals in general. So, I may enlarge my basic idea (a blog about goals) into an enlarged, more specific website about relationships. That’s what readers seem to need and want!

3. Create a business plan that allows you to stay true to your Big Idea, yet helps you focus on the details. Remain flexible enough to zoom in or out on the vital aspects of your enterprise as your business grows. Martha Stewart’s third rule for starting a business involves a telescope (to look ahead), a wide-angle lens (your business’ environment), and a microscope (the details of your business).

4. Share your knowledge about your product or service with customers to create deep connections. Don’t just sell your product or service: help your customers or clients by teaching them, getting to know them, and asking for ideas or feedback.

5. Use smart, cost-effective promotional marketing techniques that will arrest the eye, tug at the heart, and convey what is unique and special about your business or service. Martha Stewart uses the example of Madge (a manicurist) selling Palmolive dish soap. She adds a personal touch to a mundane household product. When starting a business, female entrepreneurs need to find their own touch.

6. Put quality at the top of your list of priorities, and keep it there. Quality is something you should strive for in every decision, every day. This means striving to be your best self – even in the details – when you’re starting and running your business.

7. Seek out and hire employees who are brimming with talent, energy, integrity, optimism, and generosity. Search for advisers and partners who complement your skills and understand your ideals.

8. When faced with a business challenge, evaluate or assess the situation, gather the good things in sight, abandon the bad, clear your mind, and move on. Focus on the positive, stay in control, and never panic. For more info, read Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs.

9. Remember that in business, there’s a difference between a risk and a chance. A well-calculated risk may very well end up as an investment in your business. A careless chance can cause it to crumble. When an opportunity presents itself, never assume it will be your last.

10. Listen intently, learn new things every day, be willing to innovate, and become an authority your customers will trust. As a female entrepreneur, you will find great joy and satisfaction in making your customers’ lives easier, more meaningful, and more beautiful.

“When work is based in passion, it does not feel like work – it feels fulfilling and empowering, far more about creating, building, devising, initiating, leading, and serving than simply moving through one task and on to another,” writes Martha Stewart.

If you want more info on any of these tips for female entrepreneurs, please let me know below! I’d be happy to write another article, explaining any of Martha Stewart’s business rules in more depth…

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I have some breakup advice for her – but first, a quotation from a funny woman!

“I love to shop after a bad relationship,” says comedienne Rita Rudner. “I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.”

I’m not a huge shopper (I despise shopping, in fact), but I can get behind Rudner’s breakup advice! It’s all about “self-soothing”, which I describe below. If you need help getting over a breakup, click on It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy. And, read on to learn how to stop feeling depressed when you’re letting go of someone you love…

How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup – Rita Rudner

Remind yourself that the breakup happened for a reason. No matter how you feel right now – trust me, I know how devastating it is to lose someone you love – the relationship was not working. To stop feeling depressed, stay focused on the fact that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. For whatever reason, you and he weren’t a good match. For more help, read Overcoming an Unexpected Relationship Breakup – Eleanor Roosevelt.

Learn the difference between mourning and wallowing. The first few months after a breakup are the worst. Allow yourself to mourn your loss, but don’t let yourself wallow in depression because the relationship didn’t work out. Mourning involves crying or expressing your feelings in writing, painting, creative dance, etc for some amount of time each day. Wallowing is talking about the relationship breakup endlessly, obsessing about it, and refusing to think beyond your current feelings.

Think about your role in the relationship and breakup. To stop feeling depressed, find ways to empower yourself! Empowering yourself is about taking control, about learning how you can be a better, smarter, healthier woman. So, think about the breakup. Be honest about your mistakes and foibles. You don’t need to change who you are; you just need to learn from your experiences.

Learn how to “self-sooth.” I found this term in a book about eating disorders, and it’s great breakup advice! Self-soothing addresses Rita Rudner’s quotation about shopping and relationship breakups: to stop feeling depressed, do things that make you feel better. Avoid unhealthy habits such as spending too much money, overeating, or harming yourself. Self-soothing strategies come from inside yourself – not outside, like shopping (sorry, Rita Rudner! Your quotation about shopping and relationship breakups was funny). An example of self-soothing is to recall a time that you were happy, proud, and centered – perhaps after you made a mistake and moved on or accomplished something you were proud of.

Rebuild your personal identity. Take the breakup as an opportunity to figure out who you are. Many women lose their personal identities in relationships; now, you have a chance to get back in touch with your authentic self. What do you want out of life, who do you want to be, where do you want to go? You’re now free to answer all those questions; this breakup could open all sorts of doors for you.

I know I haven’t covered all the ways to stop feeling depressed after a relationship breakup! If you have suggestions – or questions – please comment below…

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