When it comes to weight loss, Bertinelli advises women to:

“Surround yourself with people who care about/know what you’re doing. I used to diet in secret. This was a bad idea for me because then I wasn’t accountable to anyone but myself, (who I was so used to letting down) so one more time didn’t matter.”

Don’t try to lose weight alone. You don’t necessarily need to sign up for Jenny Craig (sorry, Valerie and Jenny!), but you do need to find people who support you. Or, you need books, DVDs, or websites that help you stay focused on your goals.

I’ve lost about 25 pounds with the 10 Minute Solutions DVDs — they’re a brilliant way to lose weight and keep it off.  10 Minute Solution: Rapid Results Pilates is my favorite because it’s gentle and easy, and 10 Minute Solution: Pilates Perfect Body with Suzanne is like boot camp….tough, but effective!

Okay, on to my weight loss advice, inspired by Bertinelli…

Weight Loss Advice for Women Over 40 – Valerie Bertinelli

1. Believe you deserve to lose weight. Some women sabotage their weight loss because they don’t believe they deserve to be fit and healthy. They don’t put themselves on the top of the priority list — and “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” To lose weight, you need to believe in your heart and soul that you deserve it, that you’re worth the effort. Do you believe you deserve to be thin, fit, and healthy? It may sound hokey, but it’s true. If you don’t believe you’re worth it, you’ll never achieve your weight loss goals.

2. Re-evaluate your weight loss goals. “All I cared about was the number on the scale at the beginning,” says Valerie Bertinelli. “And then I found that other things were motivating me to lose weight, like my health or being able to run farther than one block. Your body changes as you lose weight and other things do, too, so listen to what makes you tick and what will keep making you tick.” This weight loss advice doesn’t just help women over 40 lose weight, it helps them tune in to their mind-body connection!

3. Make losing weight one of your top 3 priorities in life. You can have it all — just not at the same time! Since you can’t fit everything in, you need to figure out three things that are most important to you. Focus on those things. For instance, the three things I focus on are my fitness/weight loss goals, my marriage, and my career. Women often put ourselves on the bottom of the priority list — everyone else comes first. Stop that! You’re just as important as the next guy; treat yourself with respect, love, and acceptance.

4. Put a different spin on the traditional “food journal.” I’ve heard that keeping a food journal is the best weight loss advice, but I’ve never tried it. I obsess about food too much as it is! But here’s what Valerie Bertinelli says about food journals: “I didn’t really like it at first, but I found that it was too easy to slip into old habits at the beginning. If I wrote down what I was thinking and feeling, it gave me a chance to think a beat or two before I made a decision I’d regret.” So this wasn’t really a “food journal” per se — Bertinelli lost weight by writing down what she was feeling before she ate. It’s more of a “feelings journal.”

5. Remember that every 10 minutes counts. When I don’t feel like working out — which is more often that I care to admit — I remind myself that even a 10 or 20 minute walk, run, or bike ride can make a difference. You don’t need to work out for an hour to lose weight! You just need to make fitness part of your daily life. Soon, your body will crave the workout, and you’ll work out more days than you’ll miss. And, you’ll lose 10 pounds before you know it!

6. Figure out your “best ways to lose weight.” I found it easier to lose weight when I surrounded myself with slim, healthy, fit people. I also like letting myself get hungry because it increases my mind-body connection. But what worked for me won’t work for everyone — which is why you need to find your own best ways to lose weight. Remember that finding the best weight loss advice is trial and error. You have to keep trying different ways to lose weight until you find what work for you!

If you’re not into Pilates, give the 10 Minute Solution: Ultimate Bootcamp a try.

And if you’re overweight, you might find 5 Ways to Increase Self-Esteem for Overweight Women – Queen Latifah helpful.

Source of Valerie Bertinelli’s quotations: The Official Weight Loss Blog for Valerie Bertinelli on Jenny Craig’s website.

Related posts:

1. 6 Steps to Healthy Weight Loss – Rita Rudner
2. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
3. Anne Lamott – Limping After Loss

“Some people say that I have an attitude — maybe I do,” said Venus Williams. “But I think that you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does — that makes you a winner right there.”

Do you believe in yourself, no matter how much you weigh? Then you’re 90% of the way to being a successful woman! The other 10% comes from being fit and healthy. My best ”get fit tip” is to try the 10 Minute Solutions DVDs; one of my favorites is Kickbox Bootcamp. Keli combines strength training, cardio, kick boxing, and “burpees.” I love it! And the best part is that those fitness DVDs (the 10 Minute Solutions series) don’t cost much.

Okay, here are several ways to get fit and save money…

7 Fast Ways to Get Fit and Save Money on Exercise – Venus Williams

1. Practice NEAT exercise. “Naturally thin people never stop moving,” says personal trainer and Pilates instructor Fawn Gill. “Even in their seats, they shift and fidget. This is known as non-exercise activity time, or NEAT.” She says constant movement burns calories and raises the metabolism. Thin people are often fidgety, never staying still, always moving…and that’s a great way to get fit and save money on exercise! 

2. Swap your exercise equipment and workout DVDs with a friend. This is one of my favorite ways to lose 10 pounds fast: dig out your old exercise ball or old Wii Fit games, and trade them for your friend’s yoga mat or Pilates DVDs. You’ll save money, try new fitness activities, and be more accountable for working out more regularly (especially if you and the person you swap exercise equipment with vow to keep each other disciplined!).

3. Stop buying new workout clothes! A friend of mine starts a new exercise regime every few months, and shops for brand new exercise clothes every time! Lululemon, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Nike — she buys all the brand names. And, she spends a ton of money on clothes that she plans to sweat buckets in. To save money on your workouts, exercise in preloved clothes. I buy all my workout gear at a local thrift store, and I don’t care if they get sweaty or dirty.

4. Quit the health club or gym — especially in the summer. Many gyms, health clubs, or fitness centers cost hundreds or thousands of dollars a year. Plus, many people stop going a few weeks after spending money on their gym memberships. “Gyms count on the likelihood that most members stop going, at least regularly, after a few weeks or months but are still stuck paying monthly dues until the contract runs out,” write the authors of The Smart Cookies’ Guide to Making More Dough and Getting Out of Debt. Municipal or community facilities or recreation centers will help you save money.

5. Join a hiking, biking, or triking group — or start one. “Before you join a gym, consider organizing a group of friends for daily or weekly walks, runs, hikes, or bike rides instead,” write the money experts in The Smart Cookies’ Guide to Making More Dough. “This way you can be social and be fit — and working out with friends will give you added incentive to stick to your exercise regime.”

6. Exercise outdoors — even in the winter. A 45 minute run or walk in the fresh air — even through the snow — instead of a stuffy gym can burn more fat, improve blood flow, and keep your brain alert. Plus, sunshine increases serotonin and vitamin D levels, which help keep your weight stable. And turning off the treadmills, elliptical trainers, and stationary bicycles can reduce national energy consumption levels. This isn’t just a great way to get fit fast, it’s also eco-friendly!

7. Make your meals and snacks from scratch. One of the best ways to save money while getting fit is to cook all your meals at home. It’s the only way to know exactly what’s in your food, why it’s there, and what you can reduce or eliminate without sacrificing taste. Muffins from coffee shops and Caesar salads in restaurants are perfect examples of high-fat foods that can be made at home – they’ll contain half the calories and cost a fraction of the store-bought price.

“Of course, I want to be number one,” said Venus Williams. “But being happy and healthy is the most important thing.”

What do you think of these ways to get fit and save money on exercise equipment? Please comment below…

Related posts:

1. 8 Smart Ways Women Can Save Money – Suze Orman
2. 10 Ways to Save Money on Food – Rachael Ray
3. Creating a Successful Life Plan for Women – Serena Williams

One of my favorite women here on See Jane Soar is Queen Latifah, who repeatedly said she wasn’t on the Jenny Craig diet to lose weight for appearance-based reasons. Her weight loss goals were based on having a healthier body and lifestyle. I love that!

And here’s what else Queen Latifah says:

“All my life I’ve been in a battle to overcome my fears. I’ve had to take that chance with everything I’ve done, from riding my bike down that driveway, to skateboarding, to soccer, to every sport I every tried out for.”

That’s what increasing low self-esteem is all about: trying things that scare you and dealing with the fallout. To learn more about taking risks and growing as a woman, click Know Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence. And, read on for five ways to increase low self-esteem…

5 Ways to Increase Self Esteem for Overweight Women – Queen Latifah

1. Don’t feast your eyes on models. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research shows that an overweight woman’s self-esteem plummets when she looks at photographs of model in magazines – no matter how thin or overweight the model is. The more models overweight women saw, the worse they felt about themselves. These researchers recommend avoiding women’s magazines, but that’s well-nigh impossible! Not to mention Hollywood movies and TV shows, which revolve around think beautiful women. For tips on increasing your self-esteem while surrounded by skinny people, read Increase Your Body Confidence While Reading Women’s Magazines.

2. Move your body. The more you put your body through the paces – dance, yoga, Pilates, hiking, swimming, or whatever you love to do – the better you’ll feel about yourself. This isn’t about weight loss; it’s about increasing the mind-body connection and taking risks. Don’t fall into the “I’m too fat, I’ll look stupid in Zumba class, everyone will laugh at me” trap. Instead, find an activity you enjoy (for instance, I’m a huge fan of the 10 Minute Solutions DVDs), and commit to moving your body and getting your blood boiling at least three times a week.

3. Know your self-esteem pitfalls. To increase your self-esteem as an overweight woman, figure out when you feel the worst about yourself. Is it after a visit or phone call with your mom or sister? Is it at work, when a certain coworker is around? Is it at night, when you’re tired and stressed? You don’t necessarily need to change those triggers; simply being aware that you will feel bad about yourself after X will help you avoid the consequences (binge eating, if you’re like me!).

4. Differentiate between external and internal triggers. An example of an external trigger for feeling bad about yourself is when someone criticizes or insults you. An internal trigger is you telling yourself you’re overweight because you’re bad, worthless, dumb, or lazy. What type of trigger decreases your self-esteem most often? And, is there anything you can do about that trigger? Taking control of the situations and people that decrease your self-confidence is empowering. And, anything empowering you will increase your self-esteem.

5. Keep doing what you’re good at. Identifying what you’re good at – or your best qualities – is difficult for many women. For instance, I’m trying to think of what I’m good at right now…and I can’t! Not all of us are taught to be our own cheerleaders or share our strengths. We tend to focus on our weaknesses, mistakes, and regrets…not on the things we do well. So, to increase your self-esteem, don’t just remember what you’re good at…do that thing regularly. And, savor your ability or talent! It sets you apart and makes you special – and it has nothing to do with your weight.

“It might sound cliché, but beauty for me really does start on the inside,” says Queen Latifah. “It’s like a state of mind, a state of love if you will. Then, whatever you can do on the outside is all like a bonus.”

If you want to lose a few pounds — though that doesn’t guarantee high self-esteem! – read 10 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds – Julia Cameron.

And if you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to increase low self-esteem, I welcome you below…

Related posts:

1. 10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah
2. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
3. 5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling

The life lesson: There’s more than one way to lose 10 pounds – because we all have different weight loss personalities. The successful woman: Julia Cameron, author of The Writing Diet — in which she shares her best ways to lose ten pounds.

“I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something,” says Cameron. “Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow.”

Whether you want to lose ten pounds or write a bestselling novel — you have to commit yourself by saying you’re doing it! Click on the cover for more info on her book, The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Right-Size. And, read on for Julia Cameron’s interesting weight loss tips and dieters’ stories.

10 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds  – Julia Cameron

1. Know when you eat to please others. Do you overeat at your mom’s or when you’re with your sister-in-law? Be aware of eating to make other people happy – especially your partner. Many women gain weight after getting married or moving in with their partners, because they tend to mimic their partner’s eating habits. According to Cameron in The Writing Diet, if you stop eating to please others, you’ll find it easier to lose weight.

2. Eat clean. “For optimum weight loss, it’s best to eat clean – that is, to shape your diet so that refined sugars, flours, and starches are kept to a minimum,” writes Cameron in The Writing Diet. “Three days off sugar, and you no longer lust after sweets. A piece of fruit will satisfy what used to be a candy-bar craving.” Eating clean is a newish way to lose ten pounds.

3. Open your “Pandora’s Box of Emotions” and express your forbidden feelings in healthy ways (not by binge eating). Write out your feelings to help you identify why you’re eating. Are you sad because of your brother? Are you stressed because of work? Writing – especially while you’re eating – can help you identify and deal with your feelings.

4. Let go of “quick weight loss” advertisements. “What we are after is the permanent shift in lifestyle, not the quick fix of an extreme diet,” says Cameron. “If we lower our consumption by 250 calories a day and raise our exercise by 250 calories a day, that’s a moderate shift that results in a pound’s loss weekly.” A pound a week may seem slow – it can lead to permanent weight loss.

5. Know your trigger foods. Do you love fat, salt, sugar, crunchy, soft, bitter, or warm? Some foods trigger an eating binge. Knowing what to avoid or control can lead to greater weight loss and increased self-confidence.

6. Live one day at a time. It’s not a sexy, glamorous way to lose ten pounds – but it works. Take one meal, one afternoon, one day at a time. Eat well for today. Exercise for today. Sweat a little and move your body – just for today.

7. Scale back on the scale. “Freed from the tyranny of numbers, we begin instead to focus on ourselves and our own perceptions,” says Cameron in The Writing Diet. “When we release ourselves from the daily use of the scale, we find ourselves able to embrace a more “easy does it” approach to weight loss. We begin to see that as long as we are moving in the right direction, the speed at which we reach our destination matters less.” One way to lose weight ten pounds is to let go of your obsession with the scale.

8. Drink 3 glasses of water to overcome temptation. When you’re tempted to tear into that bag of Lay’s or Oreo chocolate chip cookies, drink three glasses of water first. Don’t deny yourself the potato chips or cookies; just drink the water first. You may wash away the craving…this is my favorite way to lose ten pounds! Water fills you up and make you less likely to eat “bad” foods.

9. Look at your diet relapses. “For many of us, a diet is an exercise in futility and self-flagellation,” writes Cameron in The Writing Diet. “We set a plan in motion and then we sabotage it. We take a step toward our goal and then we relapse. We undo the good we’ve done.” Figure out why you sabotage your weight loss efforts. Do you relapse at night? What are you favorite relapse foods? Who are you with? Effective weight loss motivation involves canceling out your relapse with hobbies, exercise, writing, and self-awareness.

10. Learn to let yourself be pretty. “Many of us have to get over a “martyred” mode of dressing. Overweight and oversize, we tend to think of ourselves ad draft horses – good workers but little else,” writes Cameron. “It is a shock to find that we are still sexually appealing. Not all men are attracted to skinny women.” Wear lacy undies, and discard your “low self-worth” undies. That will create an upward spiral that’ll make it easy for you to lose that last ten pounds – and keep it off!

Do you have any thoughts or questions about these ten ways to lose ten pounds? Please comment below…

Related posts:

1. Finding the Motivation to Do What You Love – Julia Cameron
2. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
3. 5 Ways to Increase Self Esteem for Overweight Women – Queen Latifah

“I think that whatever size or shape body you have, it’s important to embrace it and get down!” says singer Christina Aguilera. “The female body is something that’s so beautiful. I wish women would be proud of their bodies and not dis other women for being proud of theirs!”

And here’s another quotation about body confidence from Germaine Greer:

“I learned fairly early on that a beautiful woman doesn’t consider herself beautiful at all. She’s often crippled by lack of confidence. Every woman has something they dislike about themselves: if they’re blonde, they want to be dark, if they’re tall, they want to be short. If they have big breasts, they want to be flat-chested. The list is endless.” – Ed Burns in Germaine Greer’s The Whole Woman.

Don’t waste your energy, my friends! For more info on feeling better about your body, click Wanting to be Her: Body Image Secrets Victoria Won’t Tell You by Michelle Graham. And, read on for four ways to improve a negative body image…

Improving a Negative Body Image – Christina Aguilera

1. Accept that you’re not a mind reader. You may think you know what the guy in the elevator thinks of your body…but you don’t have a clue. To improve a negative body image, admit that you can’t read people’s minds! People are generally thinking about themselves 99% of the time: their work, their feelings, their opinions, their hunger pangs, their gas. You don’t know what people are thinking – so assume the best!

2. Let go of all-or-nothing beliefs. Accept yourself as a whole woman, flaws and warts and weaknesses and all. If your hair looks funny or you feel dumpy, it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive or fat! People don’t notice what you do – you’re your harshest critic. To improve a negative body image, practice enjoying yourself even if your hair isn’t perfect or your skin isn’t flawless.

3. Focus on your passions. To improve a negative body image, do something counterintuitive! Forget about your skin, weight, size, and shape. Instead, what do you love to do? What excites you, what makes you forget about time and place? Maybe you’ve always wanted to travel, paint, or explore the antique shops in the funkiest part of town. When you explore new things or concentrate on what makes you happy, you’ll increase your body esteem.

4. Stop hiding. Be real with others. I don’t just mean physically – I mean emotionally and intellectually. If you feel self-conscious about your belly or thighs, talk about it with your partner. Talk about where your lack of confidence as a woman stems from. To improve a negative body image, be authentic and real. You’ll not only feel better about yourself, you’ll encourage others to be real, too.

Do you struggle with a low body image? I suspect you might…I know I do! What woman doesn’t? Feel free to share your thoughts below. And before you go, here’s a great thought from a friend of mine:

“I look at pictures of myself when I was in my 30′s, and I can’t believe how beautiful I was,” said my 68 year old friend. “I was always trying to lose weight, I was always comparing myself to other women, and I was never happy with my appearance. What a waste of energy.”

Don’t waste your energy hating your body!

Related posts:

1. Coping With Negative Coworkers Who Drain Your Energy – Anais Nin
2. How to Handle Negative or Bossy Co-Workers – Sophia Loren
3. 10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah

“I don’t act the way society dictates that a woman ‘should,’ writes Queen Latifah in Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman. “I am not dainty. I do not hold back my opinions. I don’t stay behind a man. I’m not here to live by somebody elses’ standards. I’m defining what a woman is for myself. Simply put, I am not interested in subscribing to what society has decided for half of humankind.”

Queen Latifah said this even before starting Jenny Craig’s weight loss program – and she’s been very clear that she’s not losing weight to society’s standards. Rather, she wants to be fit, healthy, and strong for herself — which is the best reason! Click on Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman to learn more about her, and read on for ten ways to build your self-confidence levels.

10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah

1. Accept that you might feel guilty when you say no – but say no anyway. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you fulfill everyone else’s expectations and behave the way society thinks you should. Instead, say “yes” only to the requests you can fulfill without depleting yourself, and separate others’ expectations from your own.

2. Make your appearance a part of who you are as a whole woman. You dishonor yourself when you dress for others and change your body to please your partner (wax, botox, hate your body, envy skinny models). Don’t compare yourself to others, especially images of air-brushed perfection. To build the self-confidence of Queen Latifah, remind yourself that you are MORE than your appearance!

3. Plan small steps that move you towards your dreams and goals. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you: Clean the house, garden, ferry kids to soccer practice, paint the deck, cook meals, darn the socks when you need to take care of yourself. Stop wishing, and start acting in ways that move you forward.

4. Own your career. Think of yourself as an entrepreneur, even if you work for someone else. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you: don’t speak up at meetings, accept extra work even though you’re overloaded, let others take credit, don’t consider pursuing the education or job that you’re passionate about, or let colleagues destroy your self concept and self esteem. To build your self-confidence, focus on your career as if you were an entrepreneur.

5. Avoid soul-deadening activities. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you participate in activities you feel lukewarm about or outright hate, go to places that make you feel uncomfortable, or act like a martyr. Instead, tune in to your spirit through mediation, prayer, and time for yourself.

6. Take control of your health issues. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you ignore your physical problems and let your doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor totally control your prescriptions, diagnoses, and schedule. Instead of hoping that they know what they’re doing, you can build self-confidence by taking charge of your health.

7. Know what you really think – even if you choose not to voice it. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you swallow your opinions, ignore your ideas, and stifle your creativity. To build the self-confidence of Queen Latifah, express yourself through writing, painting, creating, producing, etc.

8. Learn why you’re overeating, overspending, overcriticizing. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you bury your feelings in chocolate ice cream, heroin, cigarettes, wine, excessive activity. Stop immersing yourself in shopping, watching TV, gossiping, and extreme busyness! Instead, face your feelings head-on. Face what you’re afraid to know.

9. Pick friends who support, honor, and love you. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you spend time with people who criticize, condemn, or deplete you. Instead of letting your family, friends or society dictate who you are, build your self-confidence by tuning into what you really think and feel.

10. Define what “taking risks” means to you – and take a little one every day. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you don’t trust yourself, don’t reach out to others, don’t be vulnerable, and above all don’t make waves. Take a small risk every day, whether that’s saying hi to your postal carrier or saying no to your mom!

My new favorite saying is: “To get something you’ve never had, do something you’ve never done.”

How do you build your self-confidence levels? Please comment below – I’d love to hear from you.

Related posts:

1. 5 Ways to Increase Self Esteem for Overweight Women – Queen Latifah
2. 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling
3. Improving a Negative Body Image – Christina Aguilera