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	<title>Hear Jane Roar! &#187; overcoming failure</title>
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	<description>Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History</description>
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		<title>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Apr 2010 21:19:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ella Fitzgerald]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[learn from your mistakes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lucille Ball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mistakes and regrets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming guilt and shame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personality traits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strong successful women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[turning failure to success]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=1218</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Successful women go from one failure to another without losing enthusiasm (to paraphrase Winston Churchill!). These five ways to learn from your mistakes are inspired by the great Ella Fitzgerald – the “first lady of song” – and they’re all about recovering from setbacks, building resilience, and bouncing back from big and little upsets. &#8220;It [...]
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-make-mistakes-move-on-brenda-ueland/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Make Mistakes and Move On &#8211; Brenda Ueland'>How to Make Mistakes and Move On &#8211; Brenda Ueland</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling'>5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/turning-failure-to-success-for-female-entrepreneurs-maya-angelou/' rel='bookmark' title='Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou'>Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591025095?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1591025095"><img class="alignright" src="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/517-BwJd4rL._SL160_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><img style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1591025095" border="0" alt="" width="1" height="1" />Successful women go from one failure to another without losing enthusiasm (to paraphrase Winston Churchill!). These five ways to learn from your mistakes are inspired by the great Ella Fitzgerald – the “first lady of song” – and they’re all about recovering from setbacks, building resilience, and bouncing back from big and little upsets.</p>
<p>&#8220;It isn&#8217;t where you came from, it’s where you&#8217;re going that counts.&#8221; ~ Ella Fitzgerald.</p>
<p>But, where you came from can teach you <em>so much</em> about where you’re going &#8211; and how to get there! If you keep making the same old mistakes, read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591025095?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1591025095"><em>Blind Spots: Why Smart People Do Dumb Things</em></a>. And here, are five ways to learn from your mistakes…<span id="more-1218"></span></p>
<p><strong>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</strong></p>
<p><strong>1. Look for the blessings in disguise.</strong> I&#8217;m a full-time freelance writer; one of the hidden blessings of my job is all the rejections I get! I get rejected by editors, publishers, literary agents, clients, and even other bloggers. And I make a ton of mistakes – sometimes I misspell an editor’s name in a query letter, write articles that aren’t exactly snappy, and neglect to prepare for interviews. But, those mistakes are teaching me that <em>it’s okay to drop the ball</em> and <em>everything will be fine</em>. The older I get, the more I realize that success is about learning <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-fail-and-bounce-back-rachel-naomi-remen/">how to fail and bounce back</a>.</p>
<p><strong>2. Refuse to be ashamed of your mistakes.</strong> Confucius says a mistake is only a mistake until you become ashamed of it…and then it’s a crime. If you’ve <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-make-mistakes-move-on-brenda-ueland/">made a mistake</a> that you desperately wish you hadn’t, then you need to find a way to let go of it. Talk to a counselor or life coach, read books about letting go of regret, or enroll in a class about self-acceptance and self-esteem. Don’t let your mistake trap you in fear, guilt, shame, or regret! Ella Fitgerald says, &#8220;Just don&#8217;t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don&#8217;t think you can go wrong.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>3. Remember that you did the best you could.</strong> This is one of my <em>favorite</em> life lessons: we make the best decisions we can, based on who we are and what we know at any given time. Sure, we can look back and kick ourselves for not doing something differently, because hindsight is 20/20. But, the best way to learn from our mistakes is to tell ourselves that we’re doing the best we can, given our personalities, experiences, and situation. We did the best we could ten years ago, and we’re doing the best we can today.</p>
<p><strong>4. Ask for objective feedback, and do some self-assessment.</strong> What could you have done better, or differently? What do you know now that you didn’t know then? You won’t <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/">build resiliency or “bounce-back-ability”</a> by burying your mistakes. Instead, ask someone you trust for objective feedback about your actions. Tell them not to sugarcoat the truth: you want to know how to be more successful next time!</p>
<p><strong>5. Figure out the hitch in your glitch.</strong> Successful women achieve their goals by learning from past mistakes, because they figure out what does and does not work for them. Learning why the mistake happened – or keeps happening – will prevent it from happening in the future. Are you being sabotaged? Are you lazy? Are you dealing with some serious health issues or life problems? Figuring out the root of the problem is a great way to <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/turning-failure-to-success-for-female-entrepreneurs-maya-angelou/">overcome past mistakes</a>.</p>
<p>Here’s what Lucille Ball said about Ella Fitzgerald’s mistakes: “Ella&#8217;s amazing! My daughter says that every time she makes a mistake, it becomes a hit record.&#8221;</p>
<p>Remember that your mistakes can become your greatest hits…as long as you don’t bury or hide from them!</p>
<p><strong>If you have any thoughts or questions on learning from your mistakes, please comment below…</strong></p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-make-mistakes-move-on-brenda-ueland/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Make Mistakes and Move On &#8211; Brenda Ueland'>How to Make Mistakes and Move On &#8211; Brenda Ueland</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling'>5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/turning-failure-to-success-for-female-entrepreneurs-maya-angelou/' rel='bookmark' title='Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou'>Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Inspiration for Successful Women – Mozart’s Mother and Sister</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/inspiration-for-successful-women-mozart-mother-sister/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/inspiration-for-successful-women-mozart-mother-sister/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:37:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Musicians]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wordsmiths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anna Maria Mozart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[expectations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inspiration for successful women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marianne Williamson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[musical talent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=782</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you looking for inspiration for successful women? I just visited the house in which Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born – and am more inspired than ever to live up to my own wildest dreams! This inspiration for successful women comes from Mozart’s mother and sister…because they weren’t encouraged to let their lights shine. Here&#8217;s [...]
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/secrets-of-successful-women-life-lessons-from-maria-shriver/' rel='bookmark' title='Secrets of Successful Women &#8211; 6 Life Lessons From Maria Shriver'>Secrets of Successful Women &#8211; 6 Life Lessons From Maria Shriver</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/10-habits-highly-successful-women/' rel='bookmark' title='10 Habits of Highly Successful Women'>10 Habits of Highly Successful Women</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-be-a-successful-woman-katherine-hepburn/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Steps to Being a Successful Woman &#8211; Katherine Hepburn'>5 Steps to Being a Successful Woman &#8211; Katherine Hepburn</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401917208?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1401917208"><img class="alignright" src="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/51BU5sxjK9L._SL160_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><img style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1401917208" border="0" alt="" width="1" height="1" />Are you looking for inspiration for successful women? I just visited the house in which Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born – and am more inspired than ever to live up to my own wildest dreams! This inspiration for successful women comes from Mozart’s mother and sister…because they weren’t encouraged to let their lights shine.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s what Marianne Williamson says about being all that we can be:</p>
<p>“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you <em>not</em> to be?</p>
<p>You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”</p>
<p>I don’t know if Mozart’s mother and sister were playing small or if they couldn’t overcome the <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/letting-go-other-people-expectations-maria-shriver/">expectations </a>of their culture…but they weren’t liberated. And yet, their presence liberates us! This <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-be-a-successful-woman-katherine-hepburn/">inspiration for successful women</a> is based on what Mozart’s mother and sister <em>didn’t</em> do. And for more info about Marianne Williamson, click on <em>The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife.</em></p>
<p><strong>Inspiration for Successful Women – Mozart’s Mother and Sister</strong></p>
<p>I’m exploring Salzburg, Austria, where Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born and lived. He was accepted as a master composer when he was 14, and was lauded not only in his own time – he’s still worshipped today.</p>
<p><strong>But few people knew the sacrifices Mozart’s mother made. </strong>Anna Maria Pertl Mozart had seven children in ten years – only two of whom lived longer than seven months. In those days, only every second child lived. Anna Maria mediated between her authoritarian and stubborn husband, Leopold, and her genius son, Wolfgang.</p>
<p><strong>And, few people know about Mozart&#8217;s sister Maria Anna Walburga Ignatia Mozart (Nannerl).</strong> She also had incredible musical talent, and father Leopold took her and Wolfgang through Europe to play duets together. But by age 16, she was no longer the “wonder child” – she was just a marriageable woman. Leopold ignored her musical compositions.</p>
<p>And this was because she was <em>female</em>. If she was male, she and Wolfgang may have toured together as adults, composed operas together, and been accepted to the royal courts together.</p>
<p>Instead, Nannerl married a 50 year old judge with five young children (his first wife passed). She gave birth to three children, and was responsible for all the kids, the laundry, the cooking, and the cleaning. After her husband died, Nannerl taught piano…but she never lived up to her musical potential.</p>
<p><strong>How can women <em>not</em> be inspired by Nannerl’s story? </strong>She may have sacrificed her life, but we don’t have to! We need to honor the women who have gone before us, who couldn’t live up to their potential, by living up to our own potential. We have the opportunity, resources, and cultural support to do what we want with our lives.</p>
<p>Do you want to be a successful woman? Don’t hold yourself back. Don’t get in your own way. Don’t let your failures, struggles, or weaknesses overcome your hopes and goals for the future.</p>
<p><a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/doing-what-comes-naturally-rachael-ray/">Do what comes naturally to you</a> – which is what Nannerl would have done if she could have.</p>
<p><strong>And, remember that successful women fail regularly! </strong>Failure, frustration, and despair is part of succeeding – and so is <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/">bouncing back from failure</a>. We’re lucky we have the chance to face failure and succeed.</p>
<p>My friends, we’re blessed that we have the freedom to fail.</p>
<p><strong>What do you think? I welcome your comments on this inspiration for successful women below!</strong></p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/secrets-of-successful-women-life-lessons-from-maria-shriver/' rel='bookmark' title='Secrets of Successful Women &#8211; 6 Life Lessons From Maria Shriver'>Secrets of Successful Women &#8211; 6 Life Lessons From Maria Shriver</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/10-habits-highly-successful-women/' rel='bookmark' title='10 Habits of Highly Successful Women'>10 Habits of Highly Successful Women</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-be-a-successful-woman-katherine-hepburn/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Steps to Being a Successful Woman &#8211; Katherine Hepburn'>5 Steps to Being a Successful Woman &#8211; Katherine Hepburn</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/turning-failure-to-success-for-female-entrepreneurs-maya-angelou/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/turning-failure-to-success-for-female-entrepreneurs-maya-angelou/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:47:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Entrepreneurs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Moneymakers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wordsmiths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anita Roddick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Maya Angelou]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[successful women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[turning failure to success]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Successful female entrepreneurs don&#8217;t just survive business failure, relationship failure, or company failures – they turn failure to success! Here are specific ways to cope with failure for businesswomen, with inspiration from Maya Angelou. “You did what you know how to do. When you knew better, you did better.” – Maya Angelou. Bouncing back from failure involves accepting [...]
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/for-female-entrepreneurs-martha-stewarts-10-rules-for-starting-a-business/' rel='bookmark' title='For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business'>For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/when-youre-starting-your-own-business-what-successful-businesswomen-know/' rel='bookmark' title='When You&#8217;re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know'>When You&#8217;re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439156883?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1439156883"><img class="alignright" src="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/516LQDKaJfL._SL160_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Successful female entrepreneurs don&#8217;t just survive business failure, relationship failure, or company failures – they turn failure to success! Here are specific ways to cope with failure for businesswomen, with inspiration from Maya Angelou.</p>
<p>“You did what you know how to do. When you knew better, you did better.” – Maya Angelou.</p>
<p>Bouncing back from failure involves accepting that <em>you did the best you could</em> <em>at the time</em>. When you know better, you do better…and the key is to learn from your business failures! One of my favorite books on turning failure to success is <em>When Smart People Fail</em> – click the cover for details. And, read on for specific ways to turn failure to success for female entrepreneurs…</p>
<p><strong>Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou</strong></p>
<p>&#8220;Failure is a cleaning of the house,&#8221; writes Linda Gottlieb, co-author of <em>When Smart People Fail</em>. &#8220;It&#8217;s an opportunity to reorient your career, to inspect it, to relabel it. You learn to keep all your options in play, be light on your feet. Surviving failure makes you bold…Failure liberates you and gives you the courage to risk in a big enough way to guarantee big success.&#8221;</p>
<p>Research shows that female entrepreneurs are risk takers and less cautious by nature. Female entrepreneurs are optimistic but not always resilient &#8212; which is a shame, because <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-fail-and-bounce-back-rachel-naomi-remen/">bouncing back from failure</a> may be the biggest predictor of success in business, relationships, and life.</p>
<p><strong>Get real about failure.</strong> Failure isn&#8217;t a fatal flaw or social disease that renders you helpless and unhappy. Female entrepreneurs know that failure is <em>not</em> a permanent condition. Failure doesn&#8217;t make you less worthy, less intelligent, or less capable. Failure isn&#8217;t who you are….failure is simply an event.</p>
<p><strong>Stop, take a deep breath, and think.</strong> After you fail, figure out exactly what happened. Did your business location lead you to bankruptcy? Were you fired because you weren&#8217;t focused? Be honest and specific. To <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-failure-amelia-earhart/">turn failure to success</a>, identify your mistakes and take responsibility.</p>
<p>“If you don&#8217;t like something, change it,” said Maya Angelou. “If you can&#8217;t change it, change your attitude.”</p>
<p><strong>Regain control.</strong> When you know what went wrong, be deliberate not to make the same mistakes. Female entrepreneurs aren’t doomed to repeat history unless they’re oblivious! To regain control, determine what you did right and what worked in the past.</p>
<p>Also &#8212; remember that timing is everything. To learn how successful businesswoman Anita Roddick created the Body Shop, <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/finding-the-right-timing-in-life-anita-roddick/">Finding the Right Timing &#8212; Anita Roddick</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Connect with other successful female entrepreneurs.</strong> Talk to women in business who have survived similar situations. Find out what worked. What would they do differently if they knew then what they know now? Compare stories. The more you hide your failures, the worse you&#8217;ll feel; so, be honest about your weaknesses and regrets. Not only is this emotionally healthy, it could open doors to new opportunities.</p>
<p><strong>Adjust your perspective on failure.</strong> &#8220;I actually consider my failure to become a feature film director as the beginning of what I consider a saner and more successful life,” says award-winning Hollywood director Bert Salzman. “After winning the Oscar, I had visions of going right to the top, and when I didn&#8217;t get there immediately, I began to reconsider my life.&#8221;</p>
<p>Turning failure into success can be as simple as stepping back, looking at your life objectively, and realizing that failure doesn&#8217;t define you.</p>
<p><strong>Work it, baby, work it!</strong> To turn failure into success, recycle your skills and talents. Reuse or re-label your abilities by breaking down the elements of your previous work into small, definable skills. Look at yourself differently – through the eyes of a stranger – and don’t be ashamed to share your hidden talents and abilities.</p>
<p>Failure can teach you compassion and humility. Failure can offer you a new sense of power and a different way to connect with the universe – if you let it. For more info on bouncing back, read <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/">5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling</a>.</p>
<p>“Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: &#8216;I&#8217;m with you kid. Let&#8217;s go.&#8217; ” – Maya Angelou.</p>
<p><strong>If you have any questions or thoughts on turning failure to success, please comment below!</strong></p>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-erica-jong/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-erica-jong/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:43:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divas]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Erica Jong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[increasing self-acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[making connections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[making mistakes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mistakes and regrets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming guilt and shame]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=706</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you struggle with your past, if you have regrets, check out this advice for and research about overcoming shame, with quotations from the successful Erica Jong. “The trick is not how much pain you feel &#8211; but how much joy you feel,” says Jong. “Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses [...]
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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0757303234?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0757303234"><img class="alignright" src="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/510Y7X2GRTL._SL160_.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><img style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0757303234" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" />If you struggle with your past, if you have regrets, check out this advice for and research about overcoming shame, with quotations from the successful Erica Jong.</p>
<p>“The trick is not how much pain you feel &#8211; but how much joy you feel,” says Jong. “Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses.”</p>
<p>Shame and guilt are <em>great</em> excuses for denying yourself happiness and a full life! If you’re paralyzed with regrets about your past, I encourage you to find ways to move forward. Click on <em>Healing the Shame that Binds You</em> by John Bradshaw for help, and read on for advice and research about overcoming shame and guilt…<span id="more-706"></span></p>
<p><strong>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong </strong></p>
<p>Moving beyond the painful, paralyzing emotions of shame and guilt is not easy – but there is hope, my friends, for <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-make-mistakes-move-on-brenda-ueland/">making mistakes and moving on</a>! University of Alberta researcher Jessica Van Vliet studied these emotions and found specific things that help with overcoming shame and guilt.</p>
<p><strong>First: realize that shame and guilt can <em>improve</em> your life.</strong> &#8220;Shame can prompt us to make changes that will help protect our relationships and also preserve the fabric of society. It&#8217;s important to emphasize that shame is essential and has value,&#8221; said Van Vliet. &#8220;The problem is when people get paralyzed with shame and withdraw from others. Not only can this create mental health problems for people, but also they no longer contribute as fully to society.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>How shame and guilt damages your health and well-being.</strong> Women who feel debilitated by shame tend to internalize and over-personalize the situation. They also seem resigned to being unable to change their feelings or their fate – and don’t allow themselves to believe that overcoming shame and guilt is possible. They don&#8217;t let themselves <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-failure-amelia-earhart/">overcome failure and bounce back</a>.</p>
<p>&#8220;When people experience shame, they may say to themselves &#8216;I&#8217;m to blame, it&#8217;s all my fault, all of me is bad, and there&#8217;s nothing I can do to change the situation,&#8217;&#8221; said Van Vliet. &#8220;They identify so much with shame that it takes over their entire view of themselves. That leads to an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Overcoming shame and guilt involves going to the dark place.</strong> Erica Jong says, “Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.” I think the “dark place” can be found in many situations and is different for all women. When it comes to talent, the dark place can be feeling selfish, or forcing self-discipline to stay motivated to pursue your dreams. When it comes to shame and guilt, the dark place can be sitting with and accepting those terrible feelings.</p>
<p><strong>Step back from the problem. </strong>A key to overcoming shame and guilt involves view your problem in a different, objective light. It helps to identify external factors that contributed to your actions or situation (discrimination or peer pressure, for example) and differentiate between being a bad person versus doing something bad.</p>
<p>&#8220;When people move from a sense of uncontrollability to the belief that maybe there&#8217;s something they can do about their situation, such as apologizing or making amends for their actions, it starts increasing a sense of hope for the future,&#8221; says Van Vliet.</p>
<p><strong>Connect with friends, family, a higher power, or humanity as a whole.</strong> &#8220;Connecting to others helps to increase self-acceptance, and with self-acceptance can come a greater acceptance of other people as well,&#8221; says Van Vliet. &#8220;People start to realize that it&#8217;s not just them. Other people do things that are as bad or even worse sometimes so they&#8217;re not the worst person on the planet. They start to say to themselves, &#8216;This is human, I am human, others are human.&#8217;&#8221;</p>
<p>Do you find the thought of overcoming shame and guilt scary or risky? Remember…“if you don&#8217;t risk anything you risk even more,” says Erica Jong.</p>
<p><strong>I welcome your thoughts and questions on overcoming shame and guilt below&#8230;</strong>and if you found this article helpful, you might be interested in <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-fail-and-bounce-back-rachel-naomi-remen/">How to Fail and Bounce Back &#8211; Rachel Naomi Remen</a>.</p>
<p><em>Source: University of Alberta (2009, September 9).” Overcoming Shame: Making Connections Is The Key, Says Researcher.” Van Vliet’s study was published in Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, and Practice.</em></p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-inspired-by-erica-jong/' rel='bookmark' title='Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong'>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/fire-up-the-muse-and-increase-your-creativity-erica-jong/' rel='bookmark' title='Increase Your Creativity and Fire Up the Muse  &#8211; Erica Jong'>Increase Your Creativity and Fire Up the Muse  &#8211; Erica Jong</a></li>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>How to Make Mistakes and Move On &#8211; Brenda Ueland</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-make-mistakes-move-on-brenda-ueland/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-make-mistakes-move-on-brenda-ueland/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:54:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wordsmiths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brenda Ueland]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[inner critic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[making mistakes]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[moving on]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[successful women]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The life lesson: knowing how to make mistakes and move on will make you healthier, happier, and more successful (no more feelings of guilt and shame!). The successful woman: Brenda Ueland &#8212; a  prolific writer, strong woman in history, and all-round self-confident dame. We women are &#8220;too ready not to stand by what we have said or done,&#8221; says [...]
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald'>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-erica-jong/' rel='bookmark' title='Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong'>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling'>5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Failing-Forward-Turning-Mistakes-Stepping/dp/0785288570%3FSubscriptionId%3D02E5W5871AJF7PMMMS82%26tag%3Dquitipfroadvw-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D0785288570"><img class="alignright" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51BzaB8S0%2BL._SL160_.jpg" alt="" /></a></p>
<p>The life lesson: knowing how to make mistakes and move on will make you healthier, happier, and more successful (no more feelings of guilt and shame!). The successful woman: Brenda Ueland &#8212; a  prolific writer, strong woman in history, and all-round self-confident dame.</p>
<p>We women are &#8220;too ready not to stand by what we have said or done,&#8221; says Ueland. &#8220;It is so conceited and timid to be ashamed of one&#8217;s mistakes. Of course they are mistakes. Go on to the next.&#8221;</p>
<p>I love this because I tend to berate myself endlessly for mistakes! If you&#8217;re the same way, you might find John Maxwell&#8217;s <em>Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success</em> helpful (click on the image for more info). And, read on for my tips on making mistakes and moving on, inspired by Brenda Ueland.</p>
<p><strong>Making Mistakes and Moving On &#8211; Brenda Ueland</strong></p>
<p><strong>Figure out why it&#8217;s conceited to be ashamed of your mistakes.</strong> How do you interpret Ueland&#8217;s statement that it&#8217;s <em>conceited</em> to be ashamed of your mistakes? To me, that means we put too much emphasis on the importance of ourselves and our mistakes. Dwelling on the mistakes we&#8217;ve made, instead of <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-fail-and-bounce-back-rachel-naomi-remen/">bouncing back</a> to push forward, means we&#8217;re focused on our own selves instead of what&#8217;s going on around us.</p>
<p><strong>Practice &#8220;moving on&#8221; for one month.</strong> Making mistakes and moving on is harder than it sounds, but I encourage you (and me!) to try it for one month. Every time that critical inner voice berates and castigates you for making a mistake, practice accepting that you&#8217;re human, remembering what you learned from that mistake, and shaking it off. If you need help conquering that nasty inner voice, read <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/mind-soul/5-tips-for-taming-your-inner-critic/" target="_blank">5 Tips for Taming Your Inner Critic</a> (written by Gini Grey, a frequent contributor to the comments here on See Jane Soar!). </p>
<p><strong>Hold on to a <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-be-a-successful-woman-katherine-hepburn/">successful woman</a> who made mistakes and moved on.</strong> Learn from strong women in history like <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/the-definition-of-a-successful-woman-eleanor-roosevelt/">Eleanor Roosevelt</a> or <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-motivate-yourself-amelia-earhart/">Amelia Earhart</a> &#8211; or from a woman in your own life! When I worked with Big Brothers and Big Sisters in Calgary, our public relations person made a grievous error in the quarterly newsletter. She accidentally published the name of an individual who made a significant donation to the organization; his only stipulation was that he remain anonymous. She didn&#8217;t realize her error until the newsletter was published and distributed to thousands of people; she had to call him and eat some serious humble pie. I&#8217;ll never forget how balanced she was! She tempered her deep regret for her mistake with a healthy dose of &#8220;this too, shall pass.&#8221; She had the self-confidence, self-acceptance, resilience, and experience to know that she made a mistake. She needed to move on.</p>
<p>What was the last or most memorable mistake you made &#8212; and have you moved on? Don&#8217;t cower and don&#8217;t be timid, my friends. Above all, don&#8217;t be ashamed. You may have messed up &#8212; we all do &#8212; but it&#8217;s over. Let it go.</p>
<p>And remember: &#8220;Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable,&#8221; says Brenda Ueland.</p>
<p><strong>What are your thoughts about making mistakes and moving on? I welcome your comments below!</strong></p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald'>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-erica-jong/' rel='bookmark' title='Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong'>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling'>5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>How to Start a New Career – Suze Orman</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-successfully-change-careers-suze-orman/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-successfully-change-careers-suze-orman/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:13:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entrepreneurs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Financial Experts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Moneymakers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Therapists & Life Coaches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[back to school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[career advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[career change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[careerwomen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[earning money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding new jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hobbies to successful careers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to start a new career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[long-term goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[saving money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suze Orman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing career]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=572</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you a woman who wants to go back to school, get a new job, or otherwise change your career? You can quit a job you&#8217;re tired of and change your path! This career advice is inspired by Suze Orman, who encourages women to find work they love &#8212; even if it means going back to school or [...]
Related posts:<ol>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/financial-role-model-suze-orman/' rel='bookmark' title='Being a Financial Role Model – Suze Orman'>Being a Financial Role Model – Suze Orman</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/dealing-with-different-money-personalities-as-a-couple-suze-orman/' rel='bookmark' title='Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman'>Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Money-Book-Young-Fabulous-Broke/dp/B000PC71Q4%3FSubscriptionId%3D02E5W5871AJF7PMMMS82%26tag%3Dquitipfroadvw-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB000PC71Q4"><img class="alignright" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51wzE4d-BXL._SL160_.jpg" alt="" /></a>Are you a woman who wants to go back to school, get a new job, or otherwise change your career? You <em>can</em> quit a job you&#8217;re tired of and change your path! This career advice is inspired by Suze Orman, who encourages women to find work they love &#8212; even if it means going back to school or taking a low-paying job.</p>
<p>But, getting another diploma, degree or certificate isn’t the solution in all situations&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8220;Going back to school makes sense only if it is a necessary step in a well-conceived career change,&#8221; writes Orman in <em>The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke</em>. &#8220;Otherwise, it&#8217;s just a bad excuse to get out of a situation that isn&#8217;t working for you.&#8221;</p>
<p>For more solid money and career advice, click <em>The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke</em> by Suze Orman. And, read on for tips on successfully changing careers, some of which are based on her book&#8230;<span id="more-572"></span></p>
<p><strong>How to Successfully Change Careers &#8211; Suze Orman</strong></p>
<p><strong>Think <em>career</em>, not short-term job.</strong> When I first started freelance writing (I&#8217;m <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/" target="_blank">The Adventurous Writer</a>), my husband kept talking about my &#8220;writing career.&#8221; That freaked me out at first, but then I began to think about my writing that way&#8230;as a <em>career</em>, not just a dream, goal, or way to pay the bills. It changed how I organize my workday, what I focus on, and what types of magazine assignments I accept.</p>
<p><strong>Learn how to cope with failure &#8211; and build your resilience.</strong> Successful women fail a lot &#8211; and they bounce back a lot more! Learn how to <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-failure-amelia-earhart/">overcome failure</a>, recover from setbacks, and focus on your long-term vision. Expect that you&#8217;ll have to struggle to achieve your goals&#8230;because good things rarely come easily.</p>
<p><strong>Make sure your choices take you in the right direction.</strong> Before you decide to take a class, quit a job, accept a promotion, or take on a new client, ask yourself if that choice moves you towards your long-term career goals. Avoid the inclination to dismiss your needs to make other people happy or fulfill their expectations (read <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/letting-go-other-people-expectations-maria-shriver/">Letting Go of Other People&#8217;s Expectations &#8211; Maria Shriver</a> for help with this). Surround yourself with women who are where you want to be&#8230;or who are getting where they want to go.</p>
<p><strong>Build a financial cushion before starting a new career.</strong> &#8220;If your new job involves going back to school, even part-time, or taking a new job at lower pay, I want you to take the time to build up a bit of a cash cushion to help you through the transition,&#8221; writes Orman. When you&#8217;re leaving a job you hate or that doesn&#8217;t suit you, the last thing you need is create financial stress! So, scale down on the extras and focusing on pursuing your passions.</p>
<p><strong>Aim for the right opportunities &#8211; not the best money.</strong> &#8220;The right job at the right company in the right field is your goal early on,&#8221; writes Orman. &#8220;Follow your passion. There will be plenty of time to make money down the line.&#8221; Of course, this works best when you&#8217;re not struggling to pay the bills or feed your kids! Read <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/home/unusual-tips-for-spending-less-money/" target="_blank">7 Unusual Tips for Spending Less Money</a> for a different perspective on saving money when you&#8217;re starting a new career.</p>
<p><strong>Don&#8217;t rely on the internet if you&#8217;re changing careers.</strong> If you post your resume on job sites or email it to potential employers, you&#8217;ll be lost in a sea of blurry faces. Instead, visit the people and places you actually want to work with or for. Make phone calls. Your computer is fabulous for research &#8211; but successfully starting a new career requires face-to-face interaction.</p>
<p><strong>What have I missed? If you have any questions or tips on successfully changing careers, please comment below!</strong></p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-get-money-to-start-your-business-suze-orman/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Get Money to Start Your Business – Suze Orman'>How to Get Money to Start Your Business – Suze Orman</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/financial-role-model-suze-orman/' rel='bookmark' title='Being a Financial Role Model – Suze Orman'>Being a Financial Role Model – Suze Orman</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/dealing-with-different-money-personalities-as-a-couple-suze-orman/' rel='bookmark' title='Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman'>Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>How to Fail and Bounce Back &#8211; Rachel Naomi Remen</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-fail-and-bounce-back-rachel-naomi-remen/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-fail-and-bounce-back-rachel-naomi-remen/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:45:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Doctors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attachment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heartbreaks and heartaches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rachel Naomi Remen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[See Jane Soar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smart businesswomen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[successful women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trusting your gut]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[turning failure to success]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Failing and bouncing back is one of the most important ways a woman can succeed. We have to be willing to fail and bounce back if we want to grow &#8212; and soar! These thoughts on building resilience are from Rachel Naomi Remen, MD. &#8220;The willingness to win OR lose moves us out of an adversarial relationship to life [...]
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/turning-failure-to-success-for-female-entrepreneurs-maya-angelou/' rel='bookmark' title='Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou'>Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald'>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-erica-jong/' rel='bookmark' title='Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong'>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594482098?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1594482098"><img class="alignright" src="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/51Vai2jLLEL._SL160_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Failing and bouncing back is one of the most important ways a woman can succeed. We have to be willing to fail and bounce back if we want to grow &#8212; and soar! These thoughts on building resilience are from Rachel Naomi Remen, MD.</p>
<p>&#8220;The willingness to win OR lose moves us out of an adversarial relationship to life and into a powerful kind of openness,&#8221; writes Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen in <em>Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. </em>&#8220;From such a position, we can make a greater commitment to life.&#8221;</p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594482098?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1594482098">Kitchen Table Wisdom</a><img style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1594482098" border="0" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></em> is one of my all-time favorite books because it&#8217;s all about accepting &#8212; living and feeling &#8211; <em>both</em> the bitter and the sweet parts of life. There&#8217;s no doubt that life brings rejection, failure, heartache, disappointment, and pain&#8230;but it also brings success, healing, joy, fulfillment, love and laughter.</p>
<p>We &#8212; to be <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/the-definition-of-a-successful-woman-eleanor-roosevelt/">successful women</a> &#8211; have to snuggle up to failure and increase our &#8220;bouncebackability&#8221; factor!</p>
<p><strong>How to Fail and Bounce Back &#8211; Rachel Naomi Remen</strong></p>
<p>Dr Remen is an oncologist who never married or had children. She struggled with Crohn&#8217;s Disease for most her life, and when she was in her 20s had surgery to remove most of her intestines. Remen knows failure and heartache&#8230;and she teaches people how to bounce back to live full, passionate lives.</p>
<p>&#8220;Joy seems to be part of an unconditional wish to live, not holding back because life may not meet our preferences and expectations,&#8221; writes Remen. &#8220;Joy seems to be a function of the willingness to accept the whole, and to show up to meet with whatever there is.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>To bounce back from failure,  let go of your attachment to a specific outcome.</strong> Work towards your goal of healing, achieving, or being &#8212; but be open to other paths! You&#8217;ll be surprised at how many roads to and forms of success exist. For instance, one of the magazines I often wrote for last year has suddenly collapsed&#8230;and poof! Just like that, one stream of income burbles down the drain. And, my agent recently reported that his top publishers for my <em>See Jane Soar</em> book have more or less all rejected my proposal. Sigh.</p>
<p>&#8220;Rather than the warrior who fights toward a specific outcome and therefore is haunted by the specter of failure and disappointment, it is the lover drunk with the opportunity to love despite the possibility of loss, the player for whom <em>playing is more important that winning or losing</em>,&#8221; writes Remen.</p>
<p><strong>To bounce back from failure,</strong> <strong>trust your gut.</strong> For instance, at a party last week I was fascinated by a businesswoman. When she went to refresh her drink, I followed. Five minutes later, I discovered that her health company was looking for a freelance writer to interview doctors and write articles &#8212; and I&#8217;m a freelance writer who specializes in health articles! We exchanged cards. She&#8217;s not a publisher or the editor of a national magazine, but she&#8217;s a successful businesswoman &#8211; and together, we could achieve goals that we didn&#8217;t even know were possible.</p>
<p><strong>To bounce back from failure, don&#8217;t fight with your life. Dance with it. </strong>To be a successful woman &#8212; and better yet, to <em>enjoy your life</em> &#8212; practice trusting your gut and following up on events or with people. Be curious about life and people, not stuck on the way things &#8220;should&#8221; be. Be open to taking new paths, not focused on what &#8220;should&#8221; happen.</p>
<p><strong>Have you failed and bounced back? Do you let fear of failure (or success) paralyze you?</strong> In my writing career, I&#8217;ve received dozens of rejections from magazine editors, book publishers, and literary agents&#8230;and each rejection matters less.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t be afraid to take a few knocks, my friends. They&#8217;ll make you stronger!</p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald'>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-shame-and-guilt-erica-jong/' rel='bookmark' title='Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong'>Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-build-resiliency-jk-rowling/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 May 2009 17:13:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wordsmiths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amelia Earhart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bouncing back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[JK Rowling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mistakes and regrets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The life lesson: the most successful women in history are the ones who failed the most. The successful woman: JK Rowling! These five ways to build resiliency are inspired by Rowling&#8217;s Commencement Address at Harvard, called &#8220;The Fringe Benefits of Failure.&#8221;  First, my favorite quotation about failure from Samuel Beckett: &#8220;Ever tried, ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. [...]
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald'>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/5-ways-to-cope-with-mild-depression-for-women-jk-rowling/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling'>5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Failing-Forward-Turning-Mistakes-Stepping/dp/0785288570%3FSubscriptionId%3D02E5W5871AJF7PMMMS82%26tag%3Dquitipfroadvw-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D0785288570"><img class="alignright" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51BzaB8S0%2BL._SL160_.jpg" alt="" /></a></p>
<p>The life lesson: the most successful women in history are the ones who failed the most. The successful woman: JK Rowling! These five ways to build resiliency are inspired by Rowling&#8217;s Commencement Address at Harvard, called &#8220;The Fringe Benefits of Failure.&#8221; </p>
<p>First, my favorite quotation about failure from Samuel Beckett:</p>
<p>&#8220;Ever tried, ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.&#8221;</p>
<p>To Jane soar, you need to build resiliency and use your failures as springboards to bigger, better things. Read on for five ways to build resiliency, inspired by JK Rowling. And, click on John Maxwell&#8217;s <em>Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success</em> for more in-depth info on rising like a phoenix from the ashes!</p>
<p><strong>5 Ways to Build Resiliency &#8211; JK Rowling</strong></p>
<p>&#8220;Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged,&#8221; said Rowling at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association. &#8220;I was set free [by failure], because my greatest fear had already been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.&#8221;</p>
<p>Building resiliency and <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-failure-amelia-earhart/">overcoming failure</a> is the biggest predictor of success at work, home, and in life in general.</p>
<p><strong>1. Rebuild yourself. </strong>Failure isn&#8217;t a fatal flaw that renders you helpless and unhappy. It&#8217;s not a permanent condition. It doesn&#8217;t make you less worthy, less intelligent, or less capable. Failure isn&#8217;t who you are. It&#8217;s simply an event. How you cope with it &#8211; not the failure itself &#8211; is what determines your future as a successful woman. To build resiliency, accept that you&#8217;ll often be rebuilding your self, your business, your life.</p>
<p><strong>2. Stop and think.</strong> Figure out exactly what caused the failure: Did the location of your business lead you to bankruptcy? Were you fired because you weren&#8217;t focused? Be honest and specific. To build resiliency, accept your mistakes and take responsibility.</p>
<p><strong>3. Regain control.</strong> Once you know what went wrong, don&#8217;t make the same mistakes. You&#8217;re not doomed to repeat history unless you&#8217;re unaware of it! Ask yourself what you did right with your kids, your partner, your work, and savor your successes. To build resilience, take back control. </p>
<p><strong>4. Connect.</strong> To build resiliency, talk to <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/10-habits-highly-successful-women/">successful women</a> who survived similar situations. Find out what worked. What would they do differently? Compare stories. The more you hide the worse you&#8217;ll feel; be honest about your mistakes and regrets.</p>
<p><strong>5. Adjust your perspective.</strong> &#8220;I actually consider my failure to become a feature film director as the beginning of what I consider a saner and more successful life,&#8221; says award-winning Bert Salzman. To build resiliency, adjust your perspective of <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/the-definition-of-a-successful-woman-eleanor-roosevelt/">what being a successful woman means</a>. </p>
<p>&#8220;The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive,&#8221; said Rowling. &#8220;You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>What do you think of these ways to build resiliency?</strong> I welcome your comments below!</p>
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-follow-your-heart-to-fame-fortune-jk-rowling/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune &#8211; J.K. Rowling'>How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune &#8211; J.K. Rowling</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald'>5 Ways to Learn From Your Mistakes – Ella Fitzgerald</a></li>
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</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>How to be a Successful Woman &#8211; Amelia Earhart</title>
		<link>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-failure-amelia-earhart/</link>
		<comments>http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/overcoming-failure-amelia-earhart/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2009 16:23:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Adrenaline Junkies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pilots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amelia Earhart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hard work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to be a successful woman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[improve your career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strongest life]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[If you want to be a successful woman, let Amelia Earhart be your role model! She&#8217;s one of the strongest women in history, and these five ways to face failure and be successful are inspired by her. &#8220;When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others,&#8221; said Amelia Earhart. She was the first woman to [...]
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<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/succeeding-despite-criticism-amelia-earhart/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Succeed Despite Criticism – Amelia Earhart'>How to Succeed Despite Criticism – Amelia Earhart</a></li>
<li><a href='http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/how-to-motivate-yourself-amelia-earhart/' rel='bookmark' title='How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart'>How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400202361?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1400202361"><img class="alignright" src="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/How-to-be-a-Successful-Woman-Amelia-Earhart.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>If you want to be a successful woman, let Amelia Earhart be your role model! She&#8217;s one of the strongest women in history, and these five ways to face failure and be successful are inspired by her.</p>
<p>&#8220;When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others,&#8221; said Amelia Earhart. She was the first woman to fly solo non-stop across the Pacific from Hawaii to California. She set speed records, earned the Distinguished Flying Cross, and disappeared over the Pacific Ocean before her 40th birthday.</p>
<p>Amelia Earhart <em>knew</em> about obstacles, fear, and overcoming failure. If you want to succeed despite your fears and frustrations, read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400202361?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1400202361"><em>Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently</em></a><em><img style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=quitipfroadvw-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1400202361" border="0" alt="" width="1" height="1" /></em>.</p>
<p>And, here are five ways to overcome failure and be more successful in life&#8230;<span id="more-288"></span></p>
<h3>5 Ways to Overcome Failure -  Amelia Earhart</h3>
<p><strong>1. Keep a record of other successful women&#8217;s achievements.</strong> Earhart kept a scrapbook of newspaper clippings describing the <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/signs-of-a-fearless-woman-judge-marilyn-milian/">achievements of fearless women</a> in mechanical engineering, film direction and production, and advertising. She knew how hard it can be to forge ahead, especially in male-dominated fields. These newspaper clippings no doubt kept Earhart&#8217;s motivation, passion, and confidence alive!</p>
<p><strong>2. Stay connected to your mentors.</strong> Whether you&#8217;re a fan of a strong woman in history like Earhart or your good old granny, stay hooked in with her. A mentor doesn&#8217;t have to be present in your actual life; you can be mentored through books, websites, forums, e-mail, and even movies. Learn how your mentor overcame failure. You&#8217;ll can apply her wisdom to your life even if she kept failing. <em>Especially</em> if she kept failing and eventually succeeded.</p>
<p><strong>3. Mentor others.</strong> Earhart was a guidance or career counselor for young women at a university. She was also the aviation editor for <em>Cosmo</em> Magazine, and she wrote books about her successes and failures. I think all this contributed to her success! The more you encourage and inspire others, the more you yourself will be encouraged and inspired. Mentoring others &#8211; even if it&#8217;s just a phone call every month or two &#8211; can help you overcome failure by lifting your self-esteem and self-confidence.</p>
<p><strong>4. Learn resilience.</strong> This is your &#8220;bounce back&#8221; factor. How quickly do you bounce back from setbacks or mistakes? Think of resilience as being like one of those punching bags for kids. Those bags just kept bouncing back up no matter how hard the kid punched (but not if a knife was pulled). Of course, I&#8217;m not saying we should be punching bags! But, the higher our <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/ways-to-learn-from-your-mistakes-ella-fitzgerald/">&#8220;bounce back&#8221; factor</a> is, the more success we&#8217;ll enjoy &#8211; and the happier we&#8217;ll be.</p>
<p><strong>5. Learn from your past failures.</strong> &#8220;Successful dieters meet their goals by learning from past failures,&#8221; say the folks at the National Weight Control Center. Maybe you&#8217;ve failed at losing weight, or you don&#8217;t exercise regularly, or you can&#8217;t get into the habit of eating healthy foods. That&#8217;s okay, as long as you learn <em>why</em> you&#8217;re failing. Are you being sabotoged? Are you lazy? Are you dealing with some heavy life problems? Figuring out the root of the problem is a productive way to overcome failure.</p>
<h3>To learn more about how to be a successful woman, read <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/7-signs-of-inner-peace-the-peace-pilgrim/">7 Signs of Inner Peace &#8211; The Peace Pilgrim</a>.</h3>
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