“Our task is to say a holy yes to the real things of our life as they exist,” said Natalie Goldberg.

Saying yes means accepting both the bitter and the sweet parts of life — the diseases like breast cancer or ulcerative colitis, and the joys like love and melted dark chocolate. If you’re coping with a chronic illness (like me!) and need help, read You Don’t Look Sick!: Living Well With Invisible Chronic Illness. And, read on for five ways to cope with a chronic illness, inspired by Natalie Goldberg…

Coping With Chronic Illness – Natalie Goldberg

I’ve struggled with ulcerative colitis for over 10 years – and no matter how many probiotics I take or what foods I avoid, it still flares regularly. But I’ve learned that it’s not how I treat my condition that matters as much as how I treat myself. With ulcerative colitis – or any chronic illness – perspective and lifestyle often packs more punch than the illness itself.

To cope with a chronic illness, look at your lifestyle. Overstress contributes to most major health problems, including heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, respiratory problems, cancer, gastrointestinal disorders such as ulcerative colitis, and even breast cancer. The three main stresses in life – the whimsies of daily living, your personality, and your physical self – all directly affect your health.

1. Everyday stressors. The daily grind is stressful: traffic, accidents, grumpy people. Frustrations are numerous and generous, and stress – from misplacing your keys to planning a summer vacation — can make health conditions worse.

2. Your personality. How do you handle the frustrations in your day? Are you irritable or pleasant? optimistic or pessimistic? You’ve learned specific ways of coping, and they should improve your life and mood and how you deal with the symptoms of ulcerative colitis or another chronic illness…but do they?

3. Your physical body. Your physiological makeup determines how stress affects your health. Tension headaches, insomnia, ulcers – the responses to stress are varied. Stress aggravates your weakest link; for instance, my weakness is my guts, so my colitis is more likely to flare when I’m anxious about visiting my in-laws.

5 Ways to Cope With Chronic Illness

1. Take control of your chronic illness. Tackling your health issues is empowering and encouraging. When you face a diagnosis of ulcerative colitis or another chronic illness, do your research, attend seminars, and talk to friends and professionals. Learn how your body and personality affects your health; practise different ways of managing your response to stress.

2. Re-evaluate your habits. Perhaps you unload the dishwasher at the office every day; you hate doing it but feel you should. At home, you grind your teeth when you walk the dog – twice a day for a decade now – because if you don’t, who will? It’s time to re-evaluate your responsibilities. Who set these expectations and why are you meeting them? Re-evaluate your habits regularly.

3. Remember the mind-body connection. If your blood boils when you’re stuck in traffic, practise expressing anger appropriately instead of swallowing it. Learn how to release negative feelings – even if it makes you or others uncomfortable. It’s healthier in the long run, especially if you’re coping with a chronic illness.

4. Relax – get enough good rest. Decreased blood lactate blocks the stress mechanism that causes many physical ailments. You already know what relaxes you: reading, sailing, gardening, playing chess? When you’re coping with ulcerative colitis, depression, or breast cancer, consider trying new ways to relax. Get a massage or join a friend in their favourite activity – but don’t stress about it! And — make sure you get enough sleep.

5. Breathe deeply. Exercise is all it’s cracked up to be. It lowers cholesterol, prevents heart disease, improves blood circulation, and reduces your risk for cancer, diabetes, hypertension, and gastrointestinal disorders. It improves your sex life and makes you feel and look good – and it’s a great way to socialize! When you’re coping with chronic illness, try combining exercise and relaxation with yoga, swimming, walking, or hiking. For something really different, you could even consider praying with your doctor for healing.

Do you have any thoughts or questions on these ways to cope with a chronic illness? I welcome your comments below…

This post is adapted from my original article called The Upside of Ulcerative Colitis, from the June 2007 issue of alive magazine.

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1. 5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling
2. 5 Ways to Help a Friend With Breast Cancer – Suzanne Somers
3. Living With Diabetes for Women – Mary Tyler Moore

“I read old interviews of myself before I went through [breast cancer], and I used to talk about being worried about getting old or getting sick,” says Olivia Newton-John in the September 2007 issue of Alternative Medicine magazine. “Who knows if I created it just to have to face my fear? I often wonder about that.”

Newton-John not only survived breast cancer, she now sees it as a gift. Did she cause her own breast cancer? I don’t know – but I do know that there are many possible causes, including genetics and environmental influences. For info on assessing your own risk, click on the Handbook of Breast Cancer Risk Assessment.

Making Yourself Sick With Breast Cancer – Olivia Newton-John

“Be careful what you think,” says Newton-John. “Your thoughts create your world.”

Newton-John believes our thoughts affect our bodies. Does this mean we “give” ourselves breast cancer, job layoffs, or broken relationships? Sure, the mind-body connection is powerful and affects every aspect of our lives…but can we actually make ourselves sick with something as serious as breast cancer, simply by thinking in certain ways?

Causing your own breast cancer… “Most illness, including breast cancer, has an emotional as well as a physical cause,” says Sat Dharam Kaur, naturopathic doctor and author of The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Breast Cancer. ”Tumors of all types may arise after a sudden shock, loss, or conflict.”

Yikes. Kaur also says that women are more prone to all types of cancers:

“Women more prone to cancer of any kind are sometimes those who put the needs of others first and are perceived as ‘good, kind, and nice,’” he says. “They are often unable to express their anger or negative emotions.”

Creating our own successful - or sick - lives.  We do live up to our own expectations and beliefs – or down to them. For instance, the more we tell ourselves we’re dumb, unlovable, fat or stupid, the more we’ll become dumb, unlovable, fat, or stupid. We need to tell ourselves we will get that promotion, earn a higher salary, ace that test, fall in love with a great man, get published, or find the perfect house.

We have to set ourselves up for success – because there’s too many people who will happily hold us back. But, can we make ourselves physically sick with breast cancer, like Newton-John and Kaur are saying.

Do you agree with Newton-John - can you make yourself sick with breast cancer?

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Related posts:

1. 5 Ways to Help a Friend With Breast Cancer – Suzanne Somers
2. Taking Care of Your Breast Health – Renée Zellweger
3. 5 Ways to Cope With Chronic Illness – Natalie Goldberg