Here’s what Scott and Bethany Palmer say about making financial investments:

“What now? It’s a question we are hearing from more and more couples as the recession takes its toll. Those who’ve lost jobs wonder what they’ll do next. Those who’ve taken a major financial hit are trying to rebuild. Those who’ve weathered the changes so far are worrying if they’re going to be the next casualties.”

The Palmers are “The Money Couple” who wrote First Comes Love, Then Comes Money: A Couple’s Guide to Financial Communication – click for information. And, read on for their money tips for women and couples…

Is This a Risky Financial Investment?

In the midst of economic changes, many women are seeing financial opportunities and learning money lessons. Maybe a lost job means it’s a good time to go back to school. Maybe the foreclosure offers a chance to move to a new home and make a fresh start. Maybe the availability of stimulus loans makes it a good time to start a business you’ve always dreamed of.

This might be the right time to take a financial risk or make an investment with your time. But first you (and your partner) need to think about these money tips…

What is your current level of financial debt? A mortgage or car payment is one thing, but if your credit card debt exceeds more than 10% of your annual income, you should hold off on making risky financial investments. Instead, spend the next six months reducing your debt. Then, re-assess your plans.

Weigh the pros and cons of this financial investment. Have a realistic conversation about how this new opportunity will change your daily lives-financially, socially, and emotionally. How will it affect your schedules? Will you need more childcare? Will you have to pull back on other financial commitments? How will this change your spending habits? Do you need to tap into other investments to fund this risk? What other financial sacrifices will you have to make? Only you can determine if these changes are worth it.

If you’re half of a couple, make sure you’re both on board. If one of you wants to start a business and the other thinks you can’t afford it – or you have different money personalities – get creative about ways to meet both your needs. Can you build your savings over the next six months so the financial investment is less risky? Can you bring in a partner to ease the financial stress? Can you break the idea into smaller, more manageable chunks? “Risk Takers” in particular need to make sure they have their partner’s blessing before moving ahead with a new financial venture. Without your partner’s blessing, you’re going to bring anger, frustration, and deep resentment into your relationship. And no financial investment or risk is worth that.

Take your time before investing money. A good financial investment will still be good two months from now. Before you make a major financial commitment to a new venture, take a deep breath…and wait. Keep dreaming, keep talking, keep saving, but don’t make a move until you’ve let your plans simmer a while. Whether you’re talking about one partner going back to school, living on one income, starting a new business, or changing jobs, work together to make this financial investment one that benefits the whole family.

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3. Signs of a Financially Independent Woman – Quips and Tips

First, two quotations about divorce from strong women in history: Zsa Zsa Gabor and Margaret Atwood….

“I’m an excellent housekeeper,” said Zsa Zsa Gabor. “Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”

On a more serious note, Margaret Atwood said, “A divorce is like an amputation; you survive it, but there’s less of you.”

If you’re a woman considering divorce, you need to know the signs it’s time to leave your husband. Unhappy marriages often have solid indications that divorce is inevitable, according to Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Susan Pease Gadoua. Read the book for details, and check out these signs you should leave your husband…

Women Considering Divorce – Signs You Should Leave Your Husband

“There are certain factors that suggest a relationship is workable and salvageable,” writes Gadoua. “There are other factors in marriages that, if present, indicate a low probability that the relationship will be healthy or fulfilling. I call these workability factors.”

Here’s a list of Gadoua’s indications of unhappy marriages, specifically related to safety, love, and esteem needs (based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs).

You might consider divorce if your safety needs aren’t being met because of…

• Lack of trust
• Pathological dishonesty
• Lack of mental, emotional, physical, or financial safety
• Abuse (read Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship for more info)
• No communication

You might work on saving the marriage if trust was broken but is reparable, if there’s a mutual desire to create a safe environment, if there is care, concern, and communication.

It may be time to leave your husband if these love needs aren’t being met:

• Absence of mutual love
• Infidelity
• No shared interests
• One or both spouses aren’t fully committed to the marriage
• One-sided relationship

If you’re considering divorce, you might think about saving your marriage if there is a foundation of mutual love, if both partners are willing to work through physical or emotional infidelity, and if both spouses are willing to recommit to staying married.

But remember: love doesn’t conquer all! You can love your husband with all your heart, but not be able to build a strong, happy marriage together – especially if you’ve lost your personal identity. The lack of romantic love may not always lead to divorce, and the presence of love doesn’t lead to a happy marriage. As Zsa Zsa Gabor said, “Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.”

You might consider divorce if your esteem needs aren’t being met because of…

• No esteem from self or spouse, and no desire to change
• No respect at all from spouse
• No common goals
• Unwillingness of at least one spouse to work on marriage

Does your marriage have a foundation of respect, some common goals, and a willingness to work on esteem and marriage issues on the part of both partners? If so, it might be worthwhile to try to save your marriage.

There are no quick and easy answers for women considering divorce – and even the surest signs that it may be time to leave your husband can be complicated and confusing.

“I’ve had countless clients tell me that they don’t want to divorce because they are afraid of losing the co-parenting relationship or their spouse’s income, only to eventually realize that they alone already carry the load of responsibilities,” says Gadoua. “The spouse doesn’t contribute to the marriage but, rather, takes from it.”

Sometimes, divorce for women leads to an easier, more liberated, happier life – especially if you’re leaving an emotionally or mentally abusive relationship.

A final thought from Zsa Zsa Gabor:

“You never really know a man until you have divorced him.”

If you’re considering divorce and have questions or thoughts on these signs it’s time to leave your husband, please comment below…

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First, the bad news:

“Opposites may attract, but I wouldn’t put my money on a relationship of financial opposites,” says Suze Orman.

But don’t fret, my friend! Just because Orman wouldn’t bet her money on a couple with two different money personalities doesn’t mean that couple is headed for relationship breakdown or serious financial problems. (phew, what a sentence that was!)

Here are several ways to deal with different money personalities as a couple. For more info, read Financially Ever After: The Couples’ Guide to Managing Money by Jeff Opdyke.

Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman

The two basic money personalities are savers and spenders. If you’re a saver married to a spender – or a spender married to a saver – you’ll run into different relationship challenges than two spenders, or two savers.

Know your FICO score. “If you forced me to pick one single bit of advice that would have the biggest impact on turning around your financial situation, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second,” writes Orman in The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke. “You have to know your FICO score.” Before you tackle your “saver versus spender” money personalities, learn about your credit score. Do you need to do some damage repair?

Separate your finances. Consider having two separate income streams and bank accounts. This way, if you’re a saver you can invest your money any way you want. If your partner is a spender, he can spend his earnings any way he wants. You can divide the household bills and other sources of debt, and pay for those equally but separately.

Learn how to talk about money objectively. Whether you’re deciding how to invest a $10,000 windfall or struggling to pay off medical debt – you need to talk about your financial problems or perks rationally. This means accepting your different money personalities without blame, resentment, or bitterness. For help, read Tips for Talking About Money for Couples.

Talk about your money personalities before marriage. “After you marry, every asset either of you acquires is jointly held,” says Suze Orman. “That’s why you both need to be in sync on your long-term financial goals, from paying off the mortgage to putting away for retirement. Ideally, you should talk about all this before you wed. If you don’t, you can end up deeply frustrated and financially spent.”  For help, read Figuring Out Your Finances for Engaged Couples.

Consult a financial planner. Dealing with different money personalities as a couple can get difficult – and those difficulties can affect other parts of your relationship. To solve your financial problems, consider talking to a financial planner who can help you see the big picture. He/she can help you set your general financial goals (eg, retirement planning), as well as determine the details that will help you achieve those goals (eg, a monthly budget).

“In all realms of life it takes courage to stretch your limits, express your power, and fulfill your potential,” says Suze Orman. “It’s no different in the financial realm.”

Are you a saver — and is your partner a spender? How do you deal with it?  If you have any comments or questions on these tips for dealing with different money personalities as a couple, you are welcome below….

For more inspiration from Suze Orman, read How to Successfully Change Careers! 

Related posts:

1. How to Get Money to Start Your Business – Suze Orman
2. 8 Smart Ways Women Can Save Money – Suze Orman
3. Is This a Risky Financial Investment? Money Tips for Women