“Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.” ~ Margaret Thatcher.

Making a choice to act can be difficult in different ways for women of different ages. If you’re in your forties like me, you might find The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After 40 interesting! However, the following ways to make a good decision apply to women of all ages…

How to Make a Good Decision for Women – Margaret Thatcher

Make decisions quickly, and keep a “decisions” journal. “Not only will you find that the decisions you make quickly are the better ones, but you’ll also find you’re much happier and more confident with those than you are with the decisions you make using laborious analysis,” writes Elaine St. James in Simplify Your Work Life: Ways to Change the Way You Work so You Have More Time to Live. She advises keeping a “decisions journal” for six months to determine how long it takes to make decisions and which ones were good decisions. Knowing how to make a good decisions quickly involves tracking your past decisions, both good and bad.

Margaret Thatcher is a woman who makes decisions quickly: “I usually make up my mind about a man in ten seconds,” she says, “and I very rarely change it.”

Trust your first instincts. St. James believes it’s important to trust your gut instincts. And, making a good decision for women involves eliminating clutter or “noise”, such as other people’s expectations want or what you’ve been programmed to do by your parents or teachers. “Often our days are so filled with unimportant minutiae that we easily get disconnected from our inner guidance,” writes St. James. Connecting to your inner voice takes practice, which is why St. James suggests the decisions journal when you’re trying to make a good decision. It will help you make the right decision quickly, and help you untangle the unimportant details.

Take an “Is this a good decision?” test. You can make a good decision by tuning in to your physical body. This test involves standing up straight, taking a cleansing breath of air, and either letting your arms rest by your sides or placing them against your solar plexus. Breathe in through the nose and out through your mouth. “It helps in the beginning to close your eyes,” writes St. James in Simplify Your Work Life. “Not only to eliminate visual distractions but also to help you get in touch with your center.” And, the more in touch you are with your inner self, the more you’ll get out of your life!

Most women’s bodies tilt forward when they experience a “yes” response to a decision. Their bodies tilt slightly backwards with a “no” response. To determine your own bodily response, imagine a “yes” and a “no” decision. Which way does your body lean?

Once you know how your body responds when you’re making decisions, you’re more in touch with you body’s energy field and you’ll be better able to make good decisions quickly. When you’re standing solidly and comfortably, ask yourself if a particular decision is truly in your best interest. Is it in your best interests to hire Jennifer, marry Bill or have a bacon double cheeseburger with super sized French fries for lunch?

“If the decision you’ve made is right for you, your body will start to fall forward ever so slightly; if the decision isn’t right, your body will start to fall backward every so slightly,” writes St. James. “The more you work with this, the better you’ll get.”

If you tend to make decisions based on a need to be liked, check out this final quotation from Margaret Thatcher: “If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing. ”

If you have any questions or thoughts on making good decisions for women, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. Where “Well-Behaved Women” Came From – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
2. How to Make Mistakes and Move On – Brenda Ueland
3. How to Make Your Business Successful: Find Your Personal Advantage

“We all know what stress feels like,” says Liddy, who created a free Passages to Empowerment video series. “Those adrenalin rushing, nervous energy type of feelings that result in overall body tension and migraine headaches. It feels like being connected to a non-stop caffeine drip minus the energy boost.”

Today’s economy – and the stress of everyday life – gives women a good reason to feel this constant “fight or flight” anxiety. If your stress levels feel unmanageable, click So Stressed: The Ultimate Stress-Relief Plan for Women(pictured) for help. And, read on for Liddy’s stress relief plan for women… 

6 Smart Stress Solutions to Help You Mellow Out Fast

These tips will help you reconnect with the powerful woman within you!

1. Talk your walk: Any kind of movement will help during stressful times. The easiest form of exercise to engage in, anytime, anywhere is to simply take a walk. Uplevel this de-stress strategy by saying a positive Truth Affirmation™ with each stride. Say things to yourself like, “I’m doing a good job”, “I am blessed”, “Everything always comes together”…

2. Hug somebody: Physical contact with another human being (or your animal even) shoots happiness hormones throughout your entire body. For an instant feel good, give someone you love a big hug and stay in the embrace long enough to share a soothing breath together. And, if you don’t have anyone nearby, then give yourself a hug instead.

3. Simplify your surroundings: A cluttered mind, ToDo list and environment is the surefire road to stressville. Mellow out by slowing your life down, putting things away, and finishing what you start. Begin by focusing on one thing at a time. Eventually you will make big strides toward getting things in order. This simple habit of highly successful women not only offers stress relief, it can improve your career!

4. Sleep on it: Rome was not built in a day, and your life goals won’t be achieved that quickly, either. Giving your body the sleep it needs is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. Activate your de-stress defenses by going to bed at a decent hour each night. And, when possible, allow yourself a quick cat nap when you need it – napping is a great stress solution for women.

5. When in doubt, leave it out: When we are super-stressed we tend to ruminate on decisions, get overwhelmed with choices, and do what one of my clients calls, “the sit and spin.” When you find yourself obsessing about what is the “right thing to do”, allow yourself to let it be for a while. Revisiting it later will likely bring more clarity and allow you to make a better, easier choice. Plus, putting stressful decisions aside for awhile can help increase your energy levels.

6. The Super Stress Solution Scenario: Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, see if you can focus on the best that can happen. Take three minutes right now to consider the best case scenario for what is currently stressing you out. Then, move in THAT direction.

There is much for us to learn during stressful situations! Historically, much ingenuity, invention and wealth have been created during hard economic times. Enormous opportunities exist for you! When you arrive at a point where you are thinking more clearly and breathing more slowly, see how you can find those opportunities for success.

What’s your favorite way to mellow out after a long day? We welcome your tips for stress relief below…

Life Coach Susan Liddy, MA, PCC, CPCC is the founder and CEO of AspireLifeCoaching.org, a life coaching company on a mission to empower women globally. Susan is also the author of the “Secrets to Ultimate Living; What you wish you knew when you were 20!”

Related posts:

1. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
2. 7 Fast Ways to Get Fit and Save Money on Exercise – Venus Williams
3. 8 Smart Ways Women Can Save Money – Suze Orman

“Great dreams…never even get out of the box,” says Bombeck. “It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.”

Having courage to overcome your own self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors is what the book Stop Self-Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve by Pat Pearson. Click the cover for details, and read on for ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat…

4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat – Erma Bombeck

1. Accept conflict, disagreements, confrontation as normal. Sometimes women sabotage themselves because they’re afraid of the conflict that results when they stand up for what they want and think. Women can be afraid of letting go of other people’s expectations. And, sometimes women are afraid of the labels that come with doing what they want in life (“selfish”, “controlling”, “iron lady”, etc). To stop the self-defeat and self-sabotage, we have to accept the fact that sometimes we do things that don’t please other people. We have to act out of passion – not fear of conflict.

2. Reexamine the self-beliefs that limit and control. What do you believe about yourself that isn’t true? For instance, women who believe they don’t deserve to be in healthy relationships will act in ways that sabotage or defeat good relationships. Women who believe they’re unattractive or worthless will sabotage their own attempts to lose weight or take care of themselves. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat — and increase motivation – we need to stop believing things about ourselves that aren’t true.

3. Stop taking responsibility for others’ dreams and goals. Is it self-sabotaging or self-defeating to put your life on hold, so your partner or kids can pursue their dreams or goals? I can’t answer that – every situation, every woman, every motivation is different. But, women seem to take responsibility to help other people achieve their goals and dreams at the expense of their own. Women can put their goals or dreams on hold while they help the boss build his or her business, or because their volunteer work for the church or community is too demanding. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, we need to let others be responsible for achieving their goals…and we need to achieve our own.

4. Identify the “busy work” – and stop it! This is how I sabotage myself: I spend too much time on things at work that don’t matter. For instance, checking my blog stats every hour or two – or checking my e-mail often – is not only a waste of time, it’s self-defeating (if my blog stats are good, then I feel like taking a break! If they’re bad, I’m too depressed to work (excuse the exaggeration for effect)). To stop self-defeating behaviors, we need to cut out the activities and thought patterns that don’t matter. To stop sabotaging ourselves, we need to put the time and energy we have towards things that actually make a difference.

One last thought from Erma Bombeck:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,” says Bombeck, “I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything You gave me.’”

Are you using everything you have — are you living up to your own potential? For more motivation to achieve your goals, read 5 Strategies for Life Success – Alanis Morissette.

If you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup – Rita Rudner
2. 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach
3. How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune – J.K. Rowling

Morissette knows what she wants out of life – which means she’s on her way to getting it.

“Down the road I would love to have a full-blown family, but I am nowhere near ready to be married,” she said in Chatelaine, April 2008. “I have a ways to go before I am emotionally mature enough to sustain a healthy connection. I’m too much of a kid still, but I’m growing up. And I mean that in a positive way.”

Morissette is perfect example of See Jane Soar: a Canadian rock star who has reinvented herself several times. She’s gone from “mall-rat pop princess” to spiritual seeker, and she is the inspiration for these strategies for life success. For more info on getting what you want out of life, click on Creating Your Destiny: How to Get What You Want Out of Life by Patrick Snow.

5 Strategies for Life Success – Alanis Morissette

1. Enjoy your past achievements. Getting an education, finding the right job, raising your kids, or surviving a health crisis are steps to success in the future. The first strategy for life success involves reminding yourself of how far you’ve come and what you’ve survived. Use that knowledge to help you get what you want out of life!

2. Learn from your failures. If your relationships keep ending in disaster, be honest with yourself or go into counseling to find the truth. If you didn’t lose weight on one diet, try a new fitness routine (and read 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck). If you didn’t get hired for the first few jobs you applied for, figure out why. The second strategy for life success involves not ignoring your mistakes and failures! Let your past guide your current decisions.

3. Break your goal down into small steps. Whether you want to get a medical degree or welding ticket – break your goal down into smaller, easily accomplished steps. Get information. Collect applications. Put feelers out. This third strategy for life success involves taking action to avoid feelings of being overwhelmed and scared.

4. Tweak or abandon what isn’t working. You can’t get what you never had by doing what you’ve always done, my friend! How are you contributing to a situation you dislike? You can’t control other people’s behavior, but you can change what you’re doing. The fourth strategy for life success is about replacing what isn’t working with new (sometimes scary) behaviors. Or, take Alanis Morissette’s cue and put some life goals on hold until you’re ready to handle them.

5. Envision what you really want. The final strategy for life success involves visualization. Picture where you want to be: honored by your partner, earning a decent income, standing up for yourself. What you envision, you will achieve! Focus on getting what you want out of life – not what you don’t want. For more motivation, read Getting What You Want Out of Life – Angelina Jolie.

A final word from Alanis Morissette: “This is about as happy as I think I’ve ever been in my whole life. So much has to do with being able to take care of myself. Before I was looking outward. Now I know there is no way anyone else can parent me or love me in the way I have to do. There is a peace that comes with that for me.”

What do you think of these strategies for life success? I welcome your big and little thoughts below…

Related posts:

1. Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou
2. 4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat – Erma Bombeck
3. The Key to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Coco Chanel