“The word betrayal isn’t strong enough,” Nordgren said in an interview with People magazine. “I felt like my whole world had fallen apart.”

If your spouse cheated, you know exactly what she feels like. Add the humiliation of the affair being publicized all over the world, and it’s almost unbearable! My heart breaks for Nordegren, and for all spouses who have been betrayed. If your spouse cheated, you might find Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On — Together or Apart helpful.

And, here are five ways to survive a marriage affair…

5 Ways to Survive a Cheating Spouse – Elin Nordegren

1. Stop seeing your spouse. If you can make a clean break from your spouse, do it. Nordegren mentioned that she hasn’t watched a minute of golf since finding out about Tiger’s affairs. Not associating with your spouse or those familiar places and activities will help you rebuild your self-respect and self-love. Don’t talk to him on the phone. Don’t meet for coffee, email, or text each other. If you’re thinking of getting back together, take at least a three month break from your marriage. If you have to be in contact because of kids and visitation times, ask family or friends to be there for drop offs or pick ups.

2. Expect various, overwhelming emotions. “I have been through stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children,” said Nordegren. If you’re surviving a cheating spouse, accept your conflicting emotions. Learn how to express them in healthy ways, perhaps by writing in a journal, trying art therapy, or tackling projects at home (cleaning your closets or refurbishing furniture can be great therapy!).

3. Learn why your spouse cheated. Spouses have affairs for different reasons. If you can figure out why your spouse cheated, you may find it easier to cope and move on. Read Why Men Cheat on Their Wives — it contains illuminating information from marriage counselor Gary M. Neuman.

4. Forgive yourself. “I’m so embarrassed that I never suspected – not a one,” said Nordegren. “For the last 3 1/2 years, when all this was going on, I was home a lot more with pregnancies, then the children and my school.” If your spouse cheated, you may feel similarly embarrassed or humiliated — and you may even feel guilty or responsible. The sooner you forgive yourself for your real or perceived mistakes or ignorance, the easier to’ll be to survive a cheating spouse. If you can release yourself, you may be better able to overcome an unexpected relationship breakup.

5. Decide if it’s time to let go — and then focus on letting go. One of my favorite quotations is, “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting them back together.” I love this quote because it’s true — sometimes it’s worse (in the long run) to try to rebuild your marriage than to keep slogging through the heartbreak.

If you’ve decided to leave your cheating spouse, you may find Letting Go of Someone You Love helpful — it offers 75 tips from psychologists, life coaches, and counselors. Remember that letting go isn’t something you do once, and it doesn’t happen overnight! It’s a process that takes time.

If you want to save your marriage, you may find Ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage After Infidelity helpful.

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I wanted to offer more (and better) information about saying goodbye, moving on, and moving on after loss, so I wrote this ebook.

In 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love, I offer the best, most helpful tips and strategies from psychologists, life coaches, family therapists, and counselors. It’s about letting go of addictive relationships, affair breakups, estranged family members, and long-lost loves. This book is about healing, strength, and authenticity.

Letting go of someone you love isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy! Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days, peaks and valleys.

How do I know? Because I’m an “old pro” at letting go. I grew up in foster homes, and was constantly saying hello and good-bye to new families, friends, schools, and cities. The downside of good foster homes is that it’s so hard to keep leaving and starting over. But I learned how to love, say good-bye, and open my heart to love again.

And I’ve loved and lost life partners – those heart-wrenching, gut-twisting breakups that slam you to the ground and rip you to pieces. Worse, though, was when my sister cut me out of her life. Five years ago, she told me she didn’t want to speak to me again and wouldn’t tell me why. That was the ultimate lesson in powerlessness and letting go.

All 15 chapters in this ebook start with a real person’s story of breaking up; some people have moved on while others are still trapped in the past. Maybe readers will recognize themselves in their stories. Even better, they’ll see how clinging to the past instead of letting go steals their happiness, confidence, self-respect, and hopes for the future.

To learn more – and to see the Table of Contents – go to 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love.

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2. 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women
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These 10 habits of highly successful women are practical, easy, and effective — and they’re what “See Jane Soar” is all about! These tips for success range from maintaining your hormonal balance to letting go of the past – and they affect your mind, body, and soul.

First, a quotation from writer Anais Nin:

“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.”

Taking action is one of the most important habits of successful women…and so is dreaming. For inspiration and practical advice for succeeding in life after failure or knock-out punches, click on This is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down by Deborah Collins Stephens et al.

10 Habits of Highly Successful Women

1. Maintain your hormonal balance. Are you moody, exhausted, irritable, or sad? Check your hormones. If they’re out of whack, then you’ll struggle to be successful! Make sure you’re getting enough protein and vitamins, and decrease your refined sugars and carbohydrates.

2. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Highly successful women don’t obsess or feel guilty about past choices or failures. They make mistakes, move on, and apply what they’ve learned to new situations.

3. Connect with who you are. Being a daughter, wife, or mother is one aspect of your life. It doesn’t define who you are as a woman. To connect with who you are, find and express your authentic self. The more authentic you are, the more appealing you’ll be to others – and to yourself!

4. Avoid energy vampires. Do you feel drained or sad after spending time with a particular friend, coworker, or relative? Limit the time you spend with him or her. Note how you feel after visiting with a certain person; if you feel energized and happy, then you’re in good company. Highly successful women choose their companions wisely.

5. Speak kindly to yourself! If you beat yourself up for being overweight, a “bad” mom, or not exercising enough, you just create a downward spiral. Highly successful women remind themselves of their achievements and successes. They refuse to tell themselves negative things; they accept themselves.

6. Listen to your body. I heard Oprah Winfrey say this about 10 years ago: listen to what your body is telling you. Are you emotionally hungry or physically hungry? Feed yourself properly. Are you sad, furious, or depressed? Follow your body’s cues.

7. Volunteer your time. Find something that takes you out of your comfort zone or that you love to do. You’ll feel great that you’re helping others out – and volunteering directly improves your physical health. Highly successful women step out of their comfort zones and takes risks.

8. Let go of perfectionism. Strive to do your best, but let go of perfectionist tendencies. Accepting that you’re doing the best you can is a habit of highly successful women. Letting go of perfectionism is vitamins and exercise for the soul!

9. Use your core strengths. Are you a natural mathematician, writer, or party planner? Discover your core strengths by trying different things until you find what fits. To take risks and try new things, take short-term volunteer positions or volunteer for new projects at work or in your community.

10. Take time for yourself. This habit for highly successful women is my favorite: take time to recharge your batteries and refuel your emotional, spiritual, and physical energy. Spend at least a few minutes alone each day – even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do it!

Have a missed a habit of highly successful women – or do you have any comments on any of the above? I welcome your thoughts below!

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