Coco Chanel – who created Chanel No. 5 perfume, bell bottoms, and the little black dress – was a successful businesswoman who had her own formula for success. Here’s what she said:

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” – Coco Chanel.

She thought for herself, and she wasn’t afraid to say what she thought. And she probably said the wrong thing occasionally. She was human. But she also forgave herself (if she didn’t, she wouldn’t have succeeded the way she did!).

This key to success for female entrepreneurs are based on The Real Truth about Success:  What the Top 1% Do Differently, Why They Won’t Tell You, and How You Can Do It Anyway! Click the cover for details – Wynn is a funny, smart writer – and read on for tips businesswomen…

The Key to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Coco Chanel

“We’ve been fed ideas about what it takes to succeed our entire lives, and we’ve eaten them up,” writes Wynn. “In many cases, though, we would be better off chewing them up and spitting them out.”

I won’t go into the wrong keys to success (though if you want me to, I will! Wynn’s wrong ways to succeed are very interesting…just comment below if you’d like me to write about them).

Instead of the usual keys to success, Wynn describes the key to success.

“Although wildly successful, the use of a personal advantage as a get-ahead tactic remains relatively unexploited by average U.S. businesspeople,” he writes. “And yet top performers are nothing more than average businesspeople who have discovered their secret advantage and leveraged it to reach new heights.”

The key to success for female entrepreneurs (and other successful women) is to find your personal advantage.

An example of using this key to success:

Paris Hilton decided she wanted to be more than a rich girl; she wanted to be famous. So, she hired paparazzi to follow her, snap photos, and publish those pictures of her. She used her personal advantages – money, appearance, love of the spotlight, shamelessness – to become a household name.

I’m not saying we should aspire to be like Paris Hilton, my friends. Nor am I saying we need money or elaborate exploits to get ahead. We just need to identify what our personal advantages are – our strengths – and use them.

Paris Hilton used what she had to become a highly successful woman on her own terms. And, her definition of a highly successful woman is different than my definition of a highly successful woman – but she achieved her goals. You gotta admire that.

Coco Chanel’s Personal Advantage

Coco was into fashion, clothing, elegance, and long-term style. Her key to success as a female entrepreneur was her focus on classic wear. Her designs had staying power. Her personal advantage was her tendency towards comfortable, casual, easy clothes – like the little black dress, which is still popular today.

“I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little – if only out of politeness,” she said. “And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny. And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”

Coco Chanel’s personal advantage was that she cared about her appearance, and she wanted other women to look and smell good. (Hmmm…is this a personal advantage, or is it just a passion?)

What’s Your Personal Advantage?

What sets you apart from the crowd? Think outside the box: what qualities do you have that other people don’t?  Think of things like how you once turned failure to success or how you changed careers. Your personal advantage is your key to success; you need only find and nurture it.

My next article here on See Jane Soar will list examples of personal advantages – some of them will surprise you – and describe how to nourish and use them.

What do you think of this key to success for female entrepreneurs? I welcome your comments below…

Related posts:

1. Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs – Maya Angelou
2. For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business
3. How to Make Your Business Successful: Find Your Personal Advantage

“Great dreams…never even get out of the box,” says Bombeck. “It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.”

Having courage to overcome your own self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors is what the book Stop Self-Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve by Pat Pearson. Click the cover for details, and read on for ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat…

4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat – Erma Bombeck

1. Accept conflict, disagreements, confrontation as normal. Sometimes women sabotage themselves because they’re afraid of the conflict that results when they stand up for what they want and think. Women can be afraid of letting go of other people’s expectations. And, sometimes women are afraid of the labels that come with doing what they want in life (“selfish”, “controlling”, “iron lady”, etc). To stop the self-defeat and self-sabotage, we have to accept the fact that sometimes we do things that don’t please other people. We have to act out of passion – not fear of conflict.

2. Reexamine the self-beliefs that limit and control. What do you believe about yourself that isn’t true? For instance, women who believe they don’t deserve to be in healthy relationships will act in ways that sabotage or defeat good relationships. Women who believe they’re unattractive or worthless will sabotage their own attempts to lose weight or take care of themselves. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat — and increase motivation – we need to stop believing things about ourselves that aren’t true.

3. Stop taking responsibility for others’ dreams and goals. Is it self-sabotaging or self-defeating to put your life on hold, so your partner or kids can pursue their dreams or goals? I can’t answer that – every situation, every woman, every motivation is different. But, women seem to take responsibility to help other people achieve their goals and dreams at the expense of their own. Women can put their goals or dreams on hold while they help the boss build his or her business, or because their volunteer work for the church or community is too demanding. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, we need to let others be responsible for achieving their goals…and we need to achieve our own.

4. Identify the “busy work” – and stop it! This is how I sabotage myself: I spend too much time on things at work that don’t matter. For instance, checking my blog stats every hour or two – or checking my e-mail often – is not only a waste of time, it’s self-defeating (if my blog stats are good, then I feel like taking a break! If they’re bad, I’m too depressed to work (excuse the exaggeration for effect)). To stop self-defeating behaviors, we need to cut out the activities and thought patterns that don’t matter. To stop sabotaging ourselves, we need to put the time and energy we have towards things that actually make a difference.

One last thought from Erma Bombeck:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,” says Bombeck, “I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything You gave me.’”

Are you using everything you have — are you living up to your own potential? For more motivation to achieve your goals, read 5 Strategies for Life Success – Alanis Morissette.

If you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup – Rita Rudner
2. 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach
3. How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune – J.K. Rowling

I don’t think achieving fast fame and fortune should be any woman’s ultimate goal. We need to learn to follow our hearts – and be open to the possibility that fame and fortune could find us!

If your heart is set on being a famous writer, actor, or celebrity, click on How I Became a Famous Novelist for Steve Hely’s story (he’s an Emmy-award winning TV writer and book author). And, read on to learn how to follow your heart to fame and fortune, based on info from Marc Shapiro’s J.K. Rowling: The Wizard Behind the Harry Potter.

How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune – J.K. Rowling

Do what amuses you – and find a way to get paid for it. “I just write what I want to write,” says Rowling. “I write what amuses me. I never in my wildest dreams expected this popularity.” What are you doing when you lose track of time? What can you do for hours – and walk away feeling energized? Can you find a way to earn money from it? Those are the questions to focus on. Then, whether fame and fortune follows you or not, you’ll be happy!

Be selfish. Carve time out of your day to follow your heart. “In an ideal day, I’ll work six to ten hours,” says Rowling. “But now I’m fighting to get the time to write. I use cafes like offices and I try to get away from the house whenever possible.” That’s why she’s a successful woman: she knows what she loves – and she finds time to do it. If you struggle with procrastination, read 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Nourish your compulsion. “I literally don’t feel quite right if I haven’t written for awhile,” says Rowling. “A week is about as long as I can go without getting extremely edgy. It really is a compulsion.” Her compulsion to write isn’t necessarily something she was born with. Her writing habit grew: the more she wrote, the more she wanted to write. If you want to follow your heart to fame and fortune like J.K. Rowling, you need to make it part of who you are. Do you need a push? Go to 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women.

Remember that this, too, will pass. “[Fame] will go away. That’s the nature of the game,” says Rowling. “And when it does I believe I will be happy. And I will have fond memories of the time I was famous.” Whatever you’re dealing with — the struggle to do what you love, a physical or emotional illness that holds you back, a family or job that occupies all your time — remember that it will pass. You will one day be in a position to follow your heart…whether it’s towards fame, or away from fame, like J.K. Rowling knows will happen one day.

For more info about J.K. Rowling, read J. K. Rowling: The Wizard Behind Harry Potter. To learn what she says about bouncing back from failure, read 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – J.K. Rowling.

What do you think of these life lessons about following your heart to fame and fortune from J.K. Rowling? I welcome your comments below!

Related posts:

1. 5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling
2. 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling
3. 4 Ways to Reconnect With Who You Were – Shirley Valentine

The life lesson: Listen up to find your direction in life. Focus on the whispers only you can hear – because the Universe is opening and closing doors and showing you the right way to go. The successful woman who teaches us this life lesson? Frida Kahlo, of course!

“…I paint because I need to,” said Kahlo, a Mexican artist who inspired feminists all over the world after her death. She lived from 1907-1954, and was one of the most authentic women in history.

Kahlo began painting because she was “bored as hell” while convalescing in bed after a traumatic bus accident. Have you ever wondered what direction to take in life? You need only listen and look for open doors…here’s how the events in Frida Kahlo’s life told her where she needed to go…and how she went there with passion and intensity!

Finding Your Direction in Life – Frida Kahlo

Kahlo was an artist – some say Mexico’s greatest – who didn’t bother waxing or plucking her bushy unibrow and moustache; she painted them right into her self-portraits. Kahlo subtracted three years from her birthday and claimed 1910 as her birth year. Whether she did this to make herself younger or associate herself with the Mexican Revolution (which started in 1910) is still debated.

Frida Kahlo did what she wanted. Kahlo had Oprah Winfrey’s key to a successful life! According to one biographer, Frida Kahlo swore all the time. She drank tequila and smoked heavily. She sang loud songs and told off-color jokes at the wild parties she hosted; she was a vibrant extrovert who was sexually liberated. “She is a devil,” her father told her future husband. “I know,” said Diego Rivera. Frida’s first male love interest was Alejandro, the leader of a gang at her school. She became a feminist cult figure towards the end of the 20^th century, particularly because her intense paintings were dominated by female themes.

Pain was a huge part of her existence.

Frida Kahlo was real. She was obsessive, passionate, despairing, and brutally honest. Kahlo danced – she loved crowds – and she flirted with and seduced both men and women. Her lust for life was evident in everything she did. Kahlo delighted in gossip, dirty jokes, and pets like spider monkeys. She treated children like adults, servants like family, and students like colleagues.

Kahlo didn’t care what people thought.

Finding your direction in life. Whether you’re fervent like Frida or quietly passionate like Amelia Earhart, be aware of the open and closed doors in your life. Whether you’re struggling with cancer, chasing a promotion, bored as hell, or getting a divorce – those open and closed doors are pointing you in the right direction.

Go boldly, my friend. Go boldy. And, read Getting What You Want Out of Life – Angelina Jolie for inspiration.

If you’re lucky enough to find direction in life, how did you do it? Comment below – I’d love to hear from you!

Related posts:

1. Finding the Right Timing in Life – Anita Roddick
2. What Halloween Costumes Reveal About Personality Traits
3. Finding the Motivation to Do What You Love – Julia Cameron