“Face it: there is no magic solution to aging with grace and dignity,” say authors Vivian Diller, PhD, and Jill Muir-Sukenick, PhD. “We were once professional models, so we were made acutely aware how quickly a premium on physical beauty can fade with age. It took hard work and time, but we learned the secret of how to enjoy our changing appearance. Now we are therapists treating hundreds of women who may be fulfilled and evolved in many ways, but are still having difficulty coming to terms with the lines of time.”

To learn how to accept aging naturally (without cosmetic surger!), read Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change, which was edited by Michele Willens. And, here are five truths about beauty that may change how you feel about your appearance…

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Appearance – 5 Truths About Beauty

Guest post ~ Vivian Diller, PhD, and Jill Muir-Sukenick, PhD

1. Beauty is not just a physical experience, but a psychological one as well. We tend to think of beauty as a skin-deep issue, all about how we physically look. But research tells us that perception of what is deemed attractive and unattractive is much more complicated. Why do you think some beautiful women say, “I’ve never thought I was pretty”? Yes, even beauties like Uma Thurman and Michelle Pfeiffer have drawn attention to what they consider flaws. Similarly, there are women who may not be your typical image of beauty, yet when you ask them they say they are quite confident in their looks. Serena Williams never tries to cover up her unconventionally muscular physique: in fact, she flaunts it and somehow it makes her more appealing. What makes women feel and look beautiful goes well beyond our physical self. It runs deep, much deeper than the eye can see.

2. Although we can’t stop the physical changes of aging, we can change our experience of aging. No one, not any doctor, dermatologist or surgeon can stop physical changes of aging. There may be ways to look better, take care of your skin and bodies that put things temporarily on hold, at least on the surface. We’re all for that! We’re also for ways we can experience — and even enjoy — our changing looks. If we take care of ourselves, it makes us feel better and we smile more. When we smile, we look more attractive. The sooner we go through an interior process, the more naturally beautiful you’ll feel inside and out.

3. While aging is inevitable and irreversible, self-image is not. Self-image can be fluid and timeless. Self-image is not an actual still picture of oneself. It is an internal experience, how we see ourselves from within, over time throughout our lives. It’s flexible and malleable. And we can take deliberate steps to improve our self-image – which is what we try to help women do. The truth about beauty isn’t about age; it’s about self-image. 

4. Beauty is in the “I” of the beholder. If we become our own internal “eye,” we can take control over how we see ourselves, rather than give it over to other people to determine if we’re attractive or not. Our six steps serve to change our thoughts, which change how we see ourselves and others. The result? Women will be less self-critical and less judgmental of one other.

5. Chronological age does not have to define you. You can define yourself at your chronological age. A particular age has little to do with how old you feel. You can define how you want to be 40, 50 and onward. We also don’t have to let magazine images define what is beautiful. Some women in their 20′s feel old. Some women in their 60′s feel young.

What do you think – is there any truth to these ideas about beauty? Can changing your thoughts change your appearance?

© 2010 Vivian Diller Ph.D., Jill Muir-Sukenick Ph.D., Michele Willens.

Related posts:

1. Beauty Foods – The Fruits and Veggies That Improve Your Appearance
2. Can Your Spouse Change? 5 Ways to Be More Happily Married
3. 5 Natural Beauty Secrets for Women – Sophia Loren

“Foods that keep our livers cleansed of toxins, heavy metals, and fats make our whole body function more efficiently,” says Dr Julia Hunter of Skin Fitness Plus in Beverly Hills. “This makes us happier, which affects how we look. Plus, a healthy liver brightens our eyes and tightens our skin.”

Did you know that facial exercises can be as effective as eating beauty foods? I can’t guarantee that you’ll improve your natural beauty – but you’ll have fun with Carole Maggio’ facial fitness tips! Click Facercise: The Dynamic Muscle-Toning Program for Renewed Vitality and a More Youthful Appearance for more info, and read on to learn how certain foods affect a woman’s looks…

5 Types of Beauty Foods – Fruits and Veggies That Improve Your Appearance

Remember — the best way to increase your natural beauty is to focus on becoming a strong, self-confident, successful woman! But what you eat does matter…

1. Blood oranges, cherries, and blueberries decrease the effects of aging. Collagen is a natural protein in your skin and muscles that provides resiliency, shape, and texture. Collage is a great way to increase your natural beauty (which is why people get collagen injections). Unfortunately, collagen decreases with age – but you don’t need injections to get your daily dose of collagen! “Blood oranges, cherries, and blueberries are full of antioxidants, which decrease aging and disease by lowering inflammation. Antioxidants also increase collagen production and thicken the skin, making you look younger and healthier,” says Dr Julia Hunter. “Antioxidants also decrease abnormal blood vessels or rosacea.” Blackberries, raspberries, plums, pomegranate, cranberries, Asian dragon fruit, and kiwis also contain antioxidants.  

2. Dandelion, turnip, and mustard greens keep your body functioning smoothly. Dr Hunter says dense green foods are “beauty foods” because they keep our livers cleansed of toxins, heavy metals, and fats, which make our whole body function more efficiently. Eat lots of broccoli, spinach, arugula – as well as turnip, mustard, and dandelion greens. Hunter warns: “Simple and refined sugars, high glycemic carbohydrates, and refined, manufactured foods age us. They make our proteins “crunchy” instead of fluid, and cause disease – which makes us look even older. By the way, fruits and veggies can help you better cope with a chronic illness.

3. Crunchy vegetables keep your teeth white and bright! Fresh raw veggies are as good for your grin as they are for your skin! Celery, carrots, string beans, and cauliflower aren’t just good ways to lose weight naturally. These beauty foods contain cellulose, which helps scrub stains from your teeth – giving you a whiter, brighter smile. “Both the cellulose and the fiber in these foods act as abrasives that clean and remove bacteria from teeth,” says Dr Mickey Bernstein, president of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry. Crunchy veggies are especially effective for recent discolorations. If you’ve just consumed blueberries, coffee, mustard, red wine or cranberry juice, follow it up with fresh cucumber slices or an apple.

4. Sea vegetables reduce wrinkles and nourish skin cells. “Polluted cells can’t function at their optimum level. When our cells are functioning optimally, not only do we have more energy – we look and feel great,” says nutritionist Carol Wasserman. “Sea vegetables are one of our richest sources of minerals and phytochemicals.” These veggies help detoxify, rebuild, and nourish all the cells in our body. Unhealthy foods, stress, and environmental pollutants cause cells to age prematurely, leading to thinning hair and premature wrinkles. “Sea vegetables reverse this process,” says Wasserman. “For example, spiriluna is a ‘detox powerhouse.’ Hijiki, kelp, arame, wakame, and dulse also work wonders.” Who knew that there were foods for beauty in the sea?

5. Wild salmon with avocado and mango dressing improves facial muscle tone. This is more than a delicious meal – it’s a feast for natural beauty! Dr Stephen Sinatra, of the University of Connecticut School of Medicine, says, “Wild Alaskan salmon has precious Omega-3 essential fatty acids, which enhance blood flow. The pink/orange color of wild salmon is an anti-aging carotenoid called astaxanthin that protects cell membranes.” Salmon also contains dimethylaminoethanol (DMAE), which improves facial muscle tone and reduces wrinkles. Add avocado for its antioxidant properties and mango for vitamin E anti-inflammatory beta-cryptoxanthin carotenoids – and you’ll be sitting pretty after dinner!

I welcome your questions and comments on foods that improve your appearance below…

This post is an excerpt from an article I wrote for MSN Health. To read the full article, go to 10 Foods That May Improve Your Appearance.

Related posts:

1. Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Appearance – 5 Truths About Beauty
2. 5 Natural Beauty Secrets for Women – Sophia Loren

For instance:

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” ~ Sophia Loren.

A beautiful woman isn’t all pouty lips and long eyelashes…she’s kind, compassionate, and optimistic. She has personality and a joie de vivre. Of course, a little lipstick and eyeliner never hurt anyone! If you want to make your own natural beauty products, click Organic Body Care Recipes. And, read on for five natural ways to improve your appearance…

5 Natural Beauty Secrets for Women Who Want to be More Beautiful – Sophia Loren

“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within,” said Sophia Loren. “It is something that is in you or it isn’t and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.”

True beauty (and sexiness!) may be about telling the truth, doing the work you love, and embracing your wrinkles…

1. Telling the truth makes you a beautiful woman. Being dishonest or disrespectful changes your appearance. “Acting ungraciously makes you more likely to frown or raise your eyebrows in arrogance, causing forehead lines. Lying produces inner tension that causes tightness around the mouth and lines around the eyes,” says character coach Susanne Alexander. “Resentment or unforgiveness can cause unhappy facial lines, such as a downturned mouth.” A secret for natural beauty is to act graciously as much as possible. Practice acceptance, gentleness, and patience.

2. Do the work you love, and you’ll be more beautiful. Dr Debra Condren, business psychologist and author of Ambition is Not a Dirty Word says, “Loving your work and unapologetically following your dreams is the secret beauty elixir women never hear about. Doing meaningful, challenging work will make you glow with an inner and outer beauty, which no cosmetic or surgery or makeup can imitate.” She advises checking in with yourself daily to stay in touch with your ambitions and desires. The more tuned in you are to what you want out of work and life, the more beautiful you’ll be.

3. Treat yourself like a beautiful woman. A modeling session with a professional photographer can be liberating, empowering, and fun! “I see women transform and step into their natural beauty on daily basis,” says photographer Lone Mørch, whose sessions help women express their sensuality. One of her clients, who weighs over 200 lbs, shares the effects of the photo shoot: “I recently attended two big parties, and I was on the dance floor the whole time. It was fantastic, and there’s no doubt the photo experience put an extra sway in my gait and a glint in my eye.” If you’re a plus size woman, you might find 5 Ways to Increase Self Esteem for Overweight Women helpful.

4. Embrace your wrinkles because they don’t decrease beauty. Research shows that skin tone influences whether a woman is beautiful more than wrinkles, laugh lines or “crow’s feet.” “An even skin tone can give visual cues about a person’s health and reproductive capability, so it’s considered desirable,” says Dr Bernhard Fink. His research shows that uneven or blotchy skin tone, caused by cumulative sun damage and natural aging, can add 10-12 years to a woman’s age. To be and stay beautiful, make sure you’re exercising regularly, eating right, and drinking plenty of water. Those are tried-and-true natural beauty secrets!

5. Give yourself room to breath. “If you live in a cluttered environment, you tend to feel overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted,” says life coach Dana Korey. “How you feel affects your appearance. If you’re tired, depressed or anxious – common reactions to disorganization – then you’re not happy or approachable.” Decluttering your mind and spirit is equally important, so stay focused, let go of critical thoughts, and take deep calming breaths. Korey says, “The feeling of nirvana that overtakes organized women creates radiance and inner peace…and that’s something no cosmetic could duplicate.”

Let’s wrap up our beauty lessons with a final quotation from Sophia Loren:

“Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.”

What do you think makes a woman beautiful? Do you have any natural beauty secrets? I welcome your comments below…

Related posts:

1. How to Handle Negative or Bossy Co-Workers – Sophia Loren
2. Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Appearance – 5 Truths About Beauty
3. Beauty Foods – The Fruits and Veggies That Improve Your Appearance