“Dreaming, not expecting, allows Spirit to step in and surprise you with connection, completion, consummation, celebration. You dream. Show up for work. Then let Spirit deliver your dream to the world.”

The best way to make your dreams come true is to write them down. You don’t necessarily need to make a list of dreams to accomplish; you can create a vision board or poster of magazine pictures that represent things you love.

What are my dreams?

• To write See Jane Soar under a publisher’s contract. I’ve always wanted to be a published author, and I don’t want to die with that dream unlived.
• To encourage, inspire, and motivate women to succeed. My dream is to help other women live the life of their dreams!

How do I show up for work?

• Research, write, and polish sample chapters for See Jane Soar
• Refuse to rush my sample chapters and book proposal. Take my time, and do it right.
• Keep knocking on literary agents’ doors until I find the right one to represent me

What about you, fellow dreamers? What are your dreams and how will you show up for work?

Source of the quotation: Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach – one of my favorite books.

Related posts:

1. 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach
2. Reclaiming Your Personal Identity or Self-Identity – Sarah Ban Breathnach
3. Accepting Your Infertility – Sarah Jessica Parker

Finding the motivation to do what you love — such as be creative or write a book– is a constant struggle. Even artists and writers who earn a living from their creativity struggle with the muse from time to time!

What roadblocks do you face when you’re trying to be creative? Fear, doubt, uncertainty, lack of time, rejection sensitivity, perfectionism, procrastination, self-criticism, impatience?

You’re not alone, my friend.

“Everyone has talent; what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.” ~ Erica Jong.

Helping writers find “the dark place” is why I wrote 73 Ways to Fire Up (or Just Fire) the Muse: How to Write When You Don’t Wanna, or Think You Can’t. It offers solutions to most obstacles, with practical tips and inspirational wisdom from professional freelance writers, novelists, journalism professors, and other successful scribes. This ebook also offers “quick quips” from published authors (because quips and tips are what I’m all about!).

Here’s what one reader says:

“After reading your ebook I am totally charged! It’s motivational, easy to read, and speaks directly to me and every one of my writing angsts and blocks – your energy vibrates off the page. It’s like having you personally talking to me, telling it like it is and encouraging me on. It spoke to so many of my blocks – and I credit it with firing me up after being on simmer for so long.” ~ Maggie R.

I love it — that’s exactly what I was hoping would happen! If you’re struggling to find the motivation to do what you love, this book will help…

In this ebook, you’ll find:

• 15 obstacles – common to most writers – that block a productive writing life or career.
• 73 tips for overcoming obstacles from freelance writers, published authors, journalism professors, & other successful scribes.
• Dozens of thought-provoking quips from famous authors.

You’ll learn practical ways to bypass various roadblocks: no time to write, fear of rejection, reluctance to waste time on a project that may never get published, not feeling good enough, lack of self-discipline, procrastination, perfectionism, disorganization, work and life commitments, online distractions, offline distractions, internal distractions, external distractions, lions and tigers and bears – oh my!

You’ll learn what works, what doesn’t work, and why.

Each chapter in this ebook can stand alone; you don’t necessarily need to read it from top to bottom. You can choose the obstacle that plagues you from the Table of Contents and dive right in. You can save certain chapters until later in your career (such as Chapter 3.5: “5 Things to Do While You Wait for Publication”).

And the best part is, you can re-read it whenever you need a “booster shot” in one particular area (because obstacles come and go over time).

$9.95 US

If you have any thoughts or questions on ”firing up the muse” or finding the motivation to do what you love to do, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong
2. How to Use Your Instincts to Succeed at Work – Erica Jong
3. Overcoming Shame and Guilt – Erica Jong

“I’d rather be alone than unhappy,” says Houston.

Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee happiness…or even love. Many women are lonely, frustrated, and sad in their relationships or marriages; it’s far better to be single than stuck in a bad relationship. If you’re struggling with your singleness, read Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent. And, here are several ways to be happily single…

5 Ways to be Blissfully Happy as a Single Woman – Whitney Houston

1. Figure out the source of your feelings. Do you feel depressed, sad, or lonely because you’re single? Figure out why you want to be in a relationship; is it because your sister is married with three children or you feel like an outsider at work or home? Maybe you feel worthless, and think a relationship will validate you as a woman. To be happily single, you need to figure out why you want to be married.

2. Refuse to dwell on the lack of love in your life. What you focus on expands, my friends. Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have (and causing your lack to grow), stay focused on what you bring to all your relationships. For instance, do you wish you were a more successful woman? Make a list of your wonderful qualities and personality traits. The more you love and appreciate yourself, the happier you’ll be – and the more attractive you’ll be to others. Don’t think about what you lack; instead, concentrate on what you want in your life.

3. Connect to your source of power and inspiration. “I had the money, I had the cars,” Houston told Oprah Winfrey in a recent interview. “I had the house. Had the husband. Had the kid. And none of it was really that fulfilling. For a time, I was happy…but I needed that joy. I needed my joy back. I needed that peace that passes all understanding.” No matter how wonderful a boyfriend or husband is, he can’t give you peace, self-acceptance, or happiness. You need to stay connected with your own source of inspiration and fulfillment; you need to protect your sense of self when you’re in love.

4. Stay emotionally, physically, and professionally healthy. What books, people, events, Web sites, or groups help you feel connected to yourself? For instance, I love Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy – just opening that book up to a random page makes me feel more focused and in touch with who I am as a woman. If you want to be blissfully happy and single – especially if you’re hoping for a new romantic relationship – make sure you’re taking care of all aspects of your health.

5. Don’t wait for a man before you pursue the life of your dreams. Do you want to take a month-long vacation in Bora Bora, start your own business, buy a condo, or move to New York City to be a Rockett at Radio City Music Hall? You don’t need to be in a relationship to pursue your dreams! In fact, being involved with a man can make it more difficult to achieve your goals; women in relationships have to consider their partners’ needs, lifestyle, plans, and family.

Whatever you want to do with your life, do it now.

“I know from whence my help cometh,” says Houston. “I do know that. And I know that it’s strong within me. If ever I get low, I get weak, I know where I can turn to. I love the spirit of God so much that I’m not willing to trade that for anything. Because I feel joy that I can’t even speak about. And peace that passes all understanding.”

If you have any thoughts or questions on being blissfully happy as a single woman, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. 4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat – Erma Bombeck
2. 5 Steps to Being a Successful Woman – Katherine Hepburn
3. 10 Ways for Women to Get Ahead at Work – Reba McEntire

“Great dreams…never even get out of the box,” says Bombeck. “It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.”

Having courage to overcome your own self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors is what the book Stop Self-Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve by Pat Pearson. Click the cover for details, and read on for ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat…

4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat – Erma Bombeck

1. Accept conflict, disagreements, confrontation as normal. Sometimes women sabotage themselves because they’re afraid of the conflict that results when they stand up for what they want and think. Women can be afraid of letting go of other people’s expectations. And, sometimes women are afraid of the labels that come with doing what they want in life (“selfish”, “controlling”, “iron lady”, etc). To stop the self-defeat and self-sabotage, we have to accept the fact that sometimes we do things that don’t please other people. We have to act out of passion – not fear of conflict.

2. Reexamine the self-beliefs that limit and control. What do you believe about yourself that isn’t true? For instance, women who believe they don’t deserve to be in healthy relationships will act in ways that sabotage or defeat good relationships. Women who believe they’re unattractive or worthless will sabotage their own attempts to lose weight or take care of themselves. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat — and increase motivation – we need to stop believing things about ourselves that aren’t true.

3. Stop taking responsibility for others’ dreams and goals. Is it self-sabotaging or self-defeating to put your life on hold, so your partner or kids can pursue their dreams or goals? I can’t answer that – every situation, every woman, every motivation is different. But, women seem to take responsibility to help other people achieve their goals and dreams at the expense of their own. Women can put their goals or dreams on hold while they help the boss build his or her business, or because their volunteer work for the church or community is too demanding. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, we need to let others be responsible for achieving their goals…and we need to achieve our own.

4. Identify the “busy work” – and stop it! This is how I sabotage myself: I spend too much time on things at work that don’t matter. For instance, checking my blog stats every hour or two – or checking my e-mail often – is not only a waste of time, it’s self-defeating (if my blog stats are good, then I feel like taking a break! If they’re bad, I’m too depressed to work (excuse the exaggeration for effect)). To stop self-defeating behaviors, we need to cut out the activities and thought patterns that don’t matter. To stop sabotaging ourselves, we need to put the time and energy we have towards things that actually make a difference.

One last thought from Erma Bombeck:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,” says Bombeck, “I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything You gave me.’”

Are you using everything you have — are you living up to your own potential? For more motivation to achieve your goals, read 5 Strategies for Life Success – Alanis Morissette.

If you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, please comment below…

Related posts:

1. How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup – Rita Rudner
2. 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach
3. How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune – J.K. Rowling

I don’t think achieving fast fame and fortune should be any woman’s ultimate goal. We need to learn to follow our hearts – and be open to the possibility that fame and fortune could find us!

If your heart is set on being a famous writer, actor, or celebrity, click on How I Became a Famous Novelist for Steve Hely’s story (he’s an Emmy-award winning TV writer and book author). And, read on to learn how to follow your heart to fame and fortune, based on info from Marc Shapiro’s J.K. Rowling: The Wizard Behind the Harry Potter.

How to Follow Your Heart to Fame and Fortune – J.K. Rowling

Do what amuses you – and find a way to get paid for it. “I just write what I want to write,” says Rowling. “I write what amuses me. I never in my wildest dreams expected this popularity.” What are you doing when you lose track of time? What can you do for hours – and walk away feeling energized? Can you find a way to earn money from it? Those are the questions to focus on. Then, whether fame and fortune follows you or not, you’ll be happy!

Be selfish. Carve time out of your day to follow your heart. “In an ideal day, I’ll work six to ten hours,” says Rowling. “But now I’m fighting to get the time to write. I use cafes like offices and I try to get away from the house whenever possible.” That’s why she’s a successful woman: she knows what she loves – and she finds time to do it. If you struggle with procrastination, read 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Nourish your compulsion. “I literally don’t feel quite right if I haven’t written for awhile,” says Rowling. “A week is about as long as I can go without getting extremely edgy. It really is a compulsion.” Her compulsion to write isn’t necessarily something she was born with. Her writing habit grew: the more she wrote, the more she wanted to write. If you want to follow your heart to fame and fortune like J.K. Rowling, you need to make it part of who you are. Do you need a push? Go to 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women.

Remember that this, too, will pass. “[Fame] will go away. That’s the nature of the game,” says Rowling. “And when it does I believe I will be happy. And I will have fond memories of the time I was famous.” Whatever you’re dealing with — the struggle to do what you love, a physical or emotional illness that holds you back, a family or job that occupies all your time — remember that it will pass. You will one day be in a position to follow your heart…whether it’s towards fame, or away from fame, like J.K. Rowling knows will happen one day.

For more info about J.K. Rowling, read J. K. Rowling: The Wizard Behind Harry Potter. To learn what she says about bouncing back from failure, read 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – J.K. Rowling.

What do you think of these life lessons about following your heart to fame and fortune from J.K. Rowling? I welcome your comments below!

Related posts:

1. 5 Ways to Cope With Mild Depression for Women – JK Rowling
2. 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling
3. 4 Ways to Reconnect With Who You Were – Shirley Valentine

The life lesson: even if you love to write, paint, dance, or learn – it’s still a struggle to find the time, energy, and motivation to do what you love! The successful woman: Julia Cameron.

Cameron wrote this funky little book called How to Avoid Making Art (or Anything Else You Enjoy).

It’s a quick read, with drawings that illustrate her point that there are millions of things we do instead of chasing our dreams. The illustrations represent all the stuff we do when we know better, when we should be doing what we love. It’s stuff that steals our energy, time, and life…and our dreams.

I’ve taken Julia Cameron’s tongue-in-cheek advice for avoiding doing you love, and turned each statement around. It’s now motivation to do what you love, my friends!

Finding the Motivation to Do What You Love – Julia Cameron

“Be available to everyone at any time. Do not nurture yourself or set boundaries.” Finding the motivation to do what you love means you have to take care of you. It’ll be hard to do at first – for both you and your people – but once you all get used to it, you’re on your way!

“Acquire a high maintenance relationship.” By this, I think Julia Cameron means hooking up with a partner or friend who needs your constant attention. Some people need more time and energy than others (high maintenance!), if you invite such people into your life, you’re stealing your own time and energy.

“Talk about it so you don’t have to do it.” Finding the motivation to do what you love means stop talking about your longing to be a doctor or writer or mother. Start taking action steps towards small, specific goals.

“Surround yourself with jealous, blocked, negative companions.” Oh man. Julia Cameron must have personal experience with “friends” like this. To find the motivation to do what you love, surround yourself with creative, inspirational people who support, love, and encourage you.

“Let others’ problems become your problems so that your time and energy are depleted.” Instead of taking on other people’s problems and expectations, let them work out their own stuff. That’ll give you the time, energy, and motivation to do you love. Read Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations – Maria Shriver for help letting go!

“If your pets aren’t high maintenance enough, get more of them to take up any extra free time or money you might have.” To find the motivation to do what you love, draw the line at high-maintenance pets (just like high-maintenance friends). Simplify your life, and focus on where you really want to go.

“Tell yourself you can’t afford art supplies. Buy five expensive cappuccinos while you discuss this with friends.” Ha ha ha, Julia Cameron. It’s funny because it’s true! Where do you spend your money? Are you losing the motivation to do what you love because you’re buying too many shoes or hats or cappuccinos? Budget your money so you have the resources to do what you love.

You know when you’re letting life, friends, kids, work, or tv drain your time and energy. You know when you’re not acting in your own best interests, or when you’re ignoring your gut instincts, or when you’ve lost the motivation to do what you love.

You know when you’re wasting your life.

Get to it, my friends. Find your way back to your artist’s easel, school, exercise routine, travel adventures, or writing project.

Get back to your life.

And if you’re not ready to get back to your life yet, read How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart!

What are your thoughts on these finding the motivation to do what you love? I welcome your comments below!

Related posts:

1. 10 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds – Julia Cameron
2. 6 Ways to Increase Weight Loss Motivation – Martha Beck
3. Increase Your Creativity and Fire Up the Muse – Erica Jong

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,” says Quindlen, “is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of being yourself.”

Giving up on certain goals for your own good involves:

• looking at your goals
• determining if they’re achievable and healthy
• either re-evaluating them or giving them up entirely

Giving up for your own good is about learning how to let go of your goals without feeling like a failure. It’s about seeing success and opportunity in quitting — and about quitting one goal to make room for another. For help setting and achieving your intentions in life, read What Are Your Goals: Powerful Questions to Discover What You Want Out of Life. And, here are two ways to know if your goals are good for you…

How to Know if Your Goals Are Good for You

Before you think about letting go of certain goals, consider these two guidelines:

1. Does your goal represent who you are? “If you’re pursuing something that doesn’t honor who you are, it’ll make you sick,” says Sandra Anne Taylor, co-author of Secrets of Success: The Science and Spirit of Real Prosperity. “The results will be negative.” Whether your goal is professional, personal, social or spiritual – it has to honor who you are to be worthwhile. Your goal has to be in line with your personality, beliefs, values, and future plans.

2. Surrender the outcome of your dreams. “Surrender the outcome so that you don’t move into urgency and desperation,” says Taylor. “Take action towards your goals, and periodically stop to reevaluate if the action is working. Be flexible with that action, and move in a different direction if necessary.”

This doesn’t mean that you stop caring about the outcome of your efforts – or achieving your goals. Surrendering the outcome means you’re open to anything. You can flow into new experiences and re-evaluate what’s not working. You still hope and dream, but you’re not clinging to one particular outcome.

Some goals you’ll want to give up on because the time has passed and it’s not healthy for you to continue. Other goals just require that you stay focused, determined, and resilient! The trick is knowing when to keep trying, and when to move on — which is why creating a life plan is important.

Setting new intentions and goals in life is a process. Being a successful, strong, empowered woman doesn’t happen overnight. For instance, I’m slowly beginning to realize that getting pregnant and having my own biological children may something I need to let go of. I think the gradual process of accepting that it’s time to let go of certain life dreams and hopes makes it much easier to move towards something new and different.

Also – learning how to fail and bounce back (resiliency) is an important component of being an authentic, strong, successful woman.

Are you determined to achieve goals that aren’t good for you, or that are even impossible? I welcome your thoughts and questions below…

Related posts:

1. 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women
2. Creating a Successful Life Plan for Women – Serena Williams
3. How Not to Lose Your Personal Identity in a Romantic Relationship

These 10 habits of highly successful women are practical, easy, and effective — and they’re what “See Jane Soar” is all about! These tips for success range from maintaining your hormonal balance to letting go of the past – and they affect your mind, body, and soul.

First, a quotation from writer Anais Nin:

“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.”

Taking action is one of the most important habits of successful women…and so is dreaming. For inspiration and practical advice for succeeding in life after failure or knock-out punches, click on This is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down by Deborah Collins Stephens et al.

10 Habits of Highly Successful Women

1. Maintain your hormonal balance. Are you moody, exhausted, irritable, or sad? Check your hormones. If they’re out of whack, then you’ll struggle to be successful! Make sure you’re getting enough protein and vitamins, and decrease your refined sugars and carbohydrates.

2. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Highly successful women don’t obsess or feel guilty about past choices or failures. They make mistakes, move on, and apply what they’ve learned to new situations.

3. Connect with who you are. Being a daughter, wife, or mother is one aspect of your life. It doesn’t define who you are as a woman. To connect with who you are, find and express your authentic self. The more authentic you are, the more appealing you’ll be to others – and to yourself!

4. Avoid energy vampires. Do you feel drained or sad after spending time with a particular friend, coworker, or relative? Limit the time you spend with him or her. Note how you feel after visiting with a certain person; if you feel energized and happy, then you’re in good company. Highly successful women choose their companions wisely.

5. Speak kindly to yourself! If you beat yourself up for being overweight, a “bad” mom, or not exercising enough, you just create a downward spiral. Highly successful women remind themselves of their achievements and successes. They refuse to tell themselves negative things; they accept themselves.

6. Listen to your body. I heard Oprah Winfrey say this about 10 years ago: listen to what your body is telling you. Are you emotionally hungry or physically hungry? Feed yourself properly. Are you sad, furious, or depressed? Follow your body’s cues.

7. Volunteer your time. Find something that takes you out of your comfort zone or that you love to do. You’ll feel great that you’re helping others out – and volunteering directly improves your physical health. Highly successful women step out of their comfort zones and takes risks.

8. Let go of perfectionism. Strive to do your best, but let go of perfectionist tendencies. Accepting that you’re doing the best you can is a habit of highly successful women. Letting go of perfectionism is vitamins and exercise for the soul!

9. Use your core strengths. Are you a natural mathematician, writer, or party planner? Discover your core strengths by trying different things until you find what fits. To take risks and try new things, take short-term volunteer positions or volunteer for new projects at work or in your community.

10. Take time for yourself. This habit for highly successful women is my favorite: take time to recharge your batteries and refuel your emotional, spiritual, and physical energy. Spend at least a few minutes alone each day – even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do it!

Have a missed a habit of highly successful women – or do you have any comments on any of the above? I welcome your thoughts below!

Related posts:

1. Creating a Successful Life Plan for Women – Serena Williams
2. How to Know if Your Goals Are Good for You – Anna Quindlen
3. 7 Simple Habits of Healthy Women – Susan B. Anthony

The “See Jane Soar” life lesson: you have to leave your comfort zone to earn money if you want to pursue your passions! The successful woman: Amelia Earhart. She was an American aviatrix – female pilot – who took risks and forced herself to do things she didn’t want to do, just to earn money to pursue her passion – her infamous flying career. 

It’s debatable what Earhart hated more: not being able to fly because she had no money, or performing like a circus pony for the public. She had to force herself to play to the crowds – but her husband, however, loved the spotlight. In Amelia Earhart: A Biography, Doris Rich writes, “If G.P. Putnam needed to bask in her limelight, she needed him to maintain that limelight.”

Here’s how Amelia Earhart earned money to pursue her passion for flying…and two life lessons you can take to the bank! And, if you’re a woman who wants to earn more money, click on Women’s Way of Earning Money by Cynthia May Westover Alden for some money making ideas.

Earning Money to Pursue Your Passions - Amelia Earhart

1. Get out of your comfort zone. Earhart reluctantly married publishing magnate George Palmer Putnam in 1931. She wrote him a letter stating that marrying him was “as foolish as anything I could do” (this, from a woman who flew alone over vast oceans through fog, rain, and darkness at 10,000 feet, inhaling gas fumes, barely eating or sleeping). After the wedding she insisted on keeping her full name – “Miss Amelia Earhart” – for business and writing purposes. To earn money for her flying “hobby”, Earhart forced herself to take action, even when it scared her. And for you to pursue your passions, dear reader, you too will need to leave your comfort zone.

2. Be prepared to work hard. Earhart feared marriage was a cage that would prevent her from working, but her concerns were groundless. She worked. A lot. Her pockets weren’t deep enough to pay for the planes, fuel, licenses, contest entry fees, flight arrangements, and navigators that her record-breaking flights demanded. So, Putnam kept Earhart jumping through never-ending, increasingly demanding hoops: speaking engagements, media interviews, professional dinners, new business ventures, press-friendly junkets, photo opportunities, and book signing tours.

Fame brought money, which gave her wings to fly. Earhart worked hard to make money so she could pursue her passions…and it gave her wings to fly. 

Are you finding it difficult to pursue your passions because you don’t have enough money? Do you have any suggestions for other women about earning money to pursue their goals? Comment below!

For more info about Amelia Earhart, go to the Amelia Earhart Birthplace Museum.

Related posts:

1. Succeeding by Taking Risks – Amelia Earhart
2. How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart
3. How to be a Successful Woman – Amelia Earhart