“It’s heartbreaking to see my ex every single day at work,” comments a reader on my How to Survive Sadness and Depression After Breaking Up article. “I can’t avoid seeing him because we run a business together, and now I’m afraid our business relationship will be ruined too.”

Dealing with a broken heart is harder when you have to see your ex every day at work. If you’re crushed because of your breakup, read How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life.

And, here are six ways to deal with a coworker breakup…

Dated a Coworker? How to Deal With a Breakup at Work

1. Take control — find ways to empower yourself. You can’t change how you feel or what happened between you and your ex, but you can control what you focus on! You can control what you do, what you talk about, and what you think about. Instead of obsessing about your broken heart, what happened when you dated your coworker, why you broke up, and how heartbroken you feel, focus on other aspects of your life. Think about where you want your life to go. Where do you want to be in one year, or five years? What are your career goals, your life plans? This is the time to take a step back from your current path and look at your life in a new way.

2. Decide if it’s easier to find a new job than deal with workplace heartache. It probably won’t be easy to find a new job, but it may be better in the long run! It depends on the love relationship, how it ended, how you and your ex are dealing with the breakup, and what type of work relationship you have. You need to weigh the pros and cons of finding a new job versus working with a coworker you dated. Don’t make the easiest decision; make the best decision for your career and long-term happiness.

3. Make a clean break from your ex. One of the standard breakup survival tips is to avoid contact with your ex. But if you work together, it can be difficult or even impossible to avoid each other! Find out if you can work in different departments or divisions. Ask if you can get a transfer to a different location – either in your city or in another state or province. Brainstorm ways to stay at your job and avoid contact with your ex.

4. Avoid the temptation to get revenge. If you’re angry and hurt because of the breakup, you may be tempted to get back at your ex. Maybe you want to spread rumors, criticize him to your coworkers, or talk about how disappointing he was in bed. Don’t do it! Resist the temptation to get revenge! Attempting to get back at him will backfire. Revenge only prolongs the painful feelings and makes you look bad.  To deal with a breakup at work, you need to focus on healthy ways to let go of someone you love.

5. Don’t talk to your coworkers about the breakup. It’s never too late to draw a line between your personal and work lives. Avoid spilling your heart to your coworkers (or at the very least, just confide in one coworker). Remember that few people can keep a secret, and many people find it irresistible to dish about even their closest friends. Assume that what you tell your friends at work will eventually spread to your other coworkers…and maybe even to the coworker you dated. Try to talk about the breakup with your non-work friends.

6. Believe in yourself. A relationship breakup – whether it was dating a coworker for six months or leaving a marriage that lasted 25 years – can fill us with insecurity, self-doubt, and fear. Luckily, what you focus on grows. So, don’t focus on your pain, heartache, and trepidation about the future. Instead, focus on what you want to do with your life and the type of woman you want to be. Believe in yourself as a successful, strong, healthy woman!

For more breakup tips, read How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup.

Related posts:

1. Stop Feeling Guilty Over a Relationship Breakup – Quips and Tips
2. Overcoming an Unexpected Relationship Breakup – Eleanor Roosevelt
3. How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup – Rita Rudner

But, getting another diploma, degree or certificate isn’t the solution in all situations…

“Going back to school makes sense only if it is a necessary step in a well-conceived career change,” writes Orman in The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke. “Otherwise, it’s just a bad excuse to get out of a situation that isn’t working for you.”

For more solid money and career advice, click The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke by Suze Orman. And, read on for tips on successfully changing careers, some of which are based on her book…

How to Successfully Change Careers – Suze Orman

Think career, not short-term job. When I first started freelance writing (I’m The Adventurous Writer), my husband kept talking about my “writing career.” That freaked me out at first, but then I began to think about my writing that way…as a career, not just a dream, goal, or way to pay the bills. It changed how I organize my workday, what I focus on, and what types of magazine assignments I accept.

Learn how to cope with failure – and build your resilience. Successful women fail a lot – and they bounce back a lot more! Learn how to overcome failure, recover from setbacks, and focus on your long-term vision. Expect that you’ll have to struggle to achieve your goals…because good things rarely come easily.

Make sure your choices take you in the right direction. Before you decide to take a class, quit a job, accept a promotion, or take on a new client, ask yourself if that choice moves you towards your long-term career goals. Avoid the inclination to dismiss your needs to make other people happy or fulfill their expectations (read Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations – Maria Shriver for help with this). Surround yourself with women who are where you want to be…or who are getting where they want to go.

Build a financial cushion before starting a new career. “If your new job involves going back to school, even part-time, or taking a new job at lower pay, I want you to take the time to build up a bit of a cash cushion to help you through the transition,” writes Orman. When you’re leaving a job you hate or that doesn’t suit you, the last thing you need is create financial stress! So, scale down on the extras and focusing on pursuing your passions.

Aim for the right opportunities – not the best money. “The right job at the right company in the right field is your goal early on,” writes Orman. “Follow your passion. There will be plenty of time to make money down the line.” Of course, this works best when you’re not struggling to pay the bills or feed your kids! Read 7 Unusual Tips for Spending Less Money for a different perspective on saving money when you’re starting a new career.

Don’t rely on the internet if you’re changing careers. If you post your resume on job sites or email it to potential employers, you’ll be lost in a sea of blurry faces. Instead, visit the people and places you actually want to work with or for. Make phone calls. Your computer is fabulous for research – but successfully starting a new career requires face-to-face interaction.

What have I missed? If you have any questions or tips on successfully changing careers, please comment below!

Related posts:

1. How to Get Money to Start Your Business – Suze Orman
2. Being a Financial Role Model – Suze Orman
3. Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman

The life lesson: to succeed, you have to take risks. The successful woman in history: Amelia Earhart. Here’s how Earhart succeeded by taking risks…and how her experience applies to your life!

“…I believe that little red airplane said something to me as it swished by,” said Earhart – but even though she loved planes, she couldn’t “just” fly.

Earhart had to work hard to earn money to pay for flight lessons, planes, fuel, contest entry fees, navigators, and so on…and she earned her money by taking risks. These risks helped her succeed and increased her self-confidence. Here’s what Earhart did - and why taking risks helps women succeed.

To learn more about successful women, click on More Than 85 Broads: Women Making Career Choices, Taking Risks, and Defining Success- On Their Own Terms.

Succeeding by Taking Risks – Amelia Earhart

To pay for her flight lessons, Earhart drove a truck, hauled gravel, and worked at the telephone company. After she bought her first plane and in between flights, she taught English to immigrant factory workers and became a social worker.

Earhart reluctantly married publishing magnate George Palmer Putnam in 1931 – this was a risk that helped her succeed! She wrote him a letter stating that marrying him was “as foolish as anything I could do” (this, from a woman who flew alone over vast oceans through fog, rain, and darkness at 10,000 feet, inhaling gas fumes, barely eating or sleeping). After the wedding she insisted on keeping her full name – “Miss Amelia Earhart” – for business and writing purposes.

Putnam called himself “Mr. Earhart.”

Amelia Earhart’s Jobs

She definitely wasn’t afraid of getting her hands dirty. Her jobs included:

• Gravel truck driver
• Photographer
• Nurse’s aid in WWI
• Teacher
• Telephone company clerk
• Pre-med student at Columbia University
• Social worker
• Aviation editor for Cosmo magazine
• Career counselor for female college students
• Book author (20 Hrs., 40 Min. in 1928 and For the Fun of It in 1932)
• Fashion designer
• Lecturer (her principal source of income)
• Creator of and investor in National Airways, a commercial airline
• Endorser of products such as Kodak film, airplanes, gasoline and oil products, etc.

Earhart lectured about flying and wrote many articles and essays for magazines, as well as two books: 20 Hrs., 40 Min. in 1928 and For the Fun of It in 1932. Earhart was the aviation editor for Cosmo magazine and a career counselor for women students.

The “succeeding by taking risks” life lesson: Each job that Earhart took was a risk. She didn’t know if she’d be good at it (or even like it!), if the money was worth it, or if she’d lose her job within weeks or months. Earhart didn’t know how long she’d stay in that position, or what it would lead to. But she took risks anyway…and it worked.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin.

Have you succeeding by taking risks? Are you afraid of risk – and yet also afraid of remaining “tight in the bud”? For help overcoming fear, read Overcoming Fear – Suze Orman and Cher.

For more info about Amelia Earhart, visit the Amelia Earhart Birthplace Museum.

Related posts:

1. Earning Money to Pursue Your Passions – Amelia Earhart
2. How to Motivate Yourself – Amelia Earhart
3. Christiane Amanpour – Taking Risks