“Awakening is about involving yourself fully in the game, in the ebb and flow of your life,” says Dr Robin Smith. “If you have been hibernating, right now may be a good time to emerge from your cave.”

Are you hiding from your authentic self and life by drowning yourself in an ocean of financial debt? If your relationship with money needs an overhaul, read Emotional Spending: How To Break The Addiction. And, here are six ways to deal with financial debt, inspired by Dr Robin Smith…

Are You in Financial Debt for Emotional Reasons? Help From Dr Robin Smith

Lisa Bradley recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, talking about her overwhelming financial debt and inability to live within her means. She thinks she overspends as an adult to compensate for things she didn’t have growing up. “It’s almost like I reverted back to my childhood and decided to buy my Christmas toys, except they’re not Barbie dolls anymore,” she says. “I didn’t get the Barbie car when I was little, but I’m going to drive the Barbie car now.”

Are you driving the “Barbie car”, which you can’t afford to pay for? If so, these tips for dealing with the emotional reasons for your financial debt may help…

1. Learn to control the emotions that lead to spending money. Dr. Robin advised Lisa to stop buying things, face her childhood shame head-on, and gain control of her emotions. “You were out of control from the very beginning,” says Dr. Robin. “[The] child in you – the wounded child that lives in all of us – was driving in the front seat of your adult life. That child needs to be put in the back seat, cared for, nurtured and reminded that there is now an adult who can look out for her.” Sometimes getting control of your emotions is simply about being aware of them. Knowing that you want to shop because you’re depressed or sad may help you build better money habits.

2. Tune in to your “emotional hunger.” If you can’t express your anger, hurt, fear, or pain in healthy ways, then you’ll turn to unhealthy outlets — which doesn’t make you a financially independent woman! Shopping, spending money, eating, binging, gambling, and many addictions are signs of unmet needs. Women who spend money for emotional reasons are often ignoring their emotional hunger — which is why they’re in debt because of “emotional spending”! If not properly expressed, feelings of fear, doubt, insecurity, anxiety, and low self-esteem can lead to a shopping addiction and serious financial debt.

3. Know – and learn how to cope with – your spending “triggers.” Do you succumb to shopping or spending too much money when you’re with a particular person? When you’re fighting with your partner? After dealing with difficult coworkers? Look for connections between the events in your life, your emotional reactions, and your financial debt. Identify the triggers or emotional reasons that send you running to the mall and lead to financial debt. Your triggers may never go away – you’ll always have stress, pain, and discomfort in your life. Since you can’t get rid of hardship or life’s challenges, you need to find healthier ways to cope with your feelings.

4. Talk to an expert in psychology and financial planning. If you can’t figure out the roots of your emotional spending, talk to a counselor. You’re spending money for a reason — and it’s probably an emotional one. The sooner you figure out what need you’re trying to fill, the sooner you’ll start dealing with your financial debt. For help with the practical side of budgets and spending, read 9 Tips for Taking Control of Your Money.

5. Give yourself time to learn how to express your emotions in healthy ways. Whether you’ve been struggling to overcome a shopping addiction for months or years, remember that it takes to learn healthier ways to deal with stress and your emotions. “Whether it’s food, whether it’s debt, whether it’s alcohol — detoxing sucks,” says Dr Robin. “I know that’s a nonclinical word, but we all know what it means. It does not feel good when one starts to clean up their mess.”

6. Know you’re not alone! Dr. Robin says women who are in financial debt for emotional reasons are not alone – everyone struggling with money problems is “trying to fill a spiritual wound with a cheap surrogate.” “BMW may not sound cheap, but for a child who is aching to feel like she was enough, for a child who was aching to feel the safety and comfort in his own life, a BMW can’t ever touch that wound,” she says. “What becomes more dangerous is the deeper the wound, the more I spend.”

Are you in financial debt for emotional reasons — and is Dr Robin Smith’s advice helpful? I welcome your thoughts below…

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“Burnout is a condition caused by unbalance: too much work or responsibility, too little time to do it,” writes Ban Breathnach in Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy (one of my favorite books!). “Often we think that burnout is something that happens to other women – workaholics and perfectionists. But care-aholics are also at risk…”

If you’re a caregiver of an ill or elderly parent or loved one, you might find Always on Call: When Illness Turns Families into Caregivers both informative and inspirational. And, here’s some basic information on the cost of care providers…

How Much Will a Paid Caregiver for My Aging Parents Cost?

“My husband was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at age 44 and died at home peacefully at 57,” says Lynn Longmuir, Certified Reflexologist and author of Peace of Mind: Care for the Caregiver. “He needed care 24/7 for the last three years of his life. I was his primary caregiver around the clock – I was his age and, luckily, in good health physically and mentally. But looking back, I realize the emotional toll it took. Was it worth it? Yes. I would do it again in a minute if I had to.”

Longmuir says she’s fortunate because she worked from home and was able to juggle her schedule to care for her husband herself. Plus, her friends helped out.

In contrast, Betty Garrett needed to hire a caregiver or care provider when her husband’s health deteriorated. “He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2003 and lost his courageous battle a year later,” says this author of From Hiccups to Hospice: A Survival Guide for the Cancer Caregiver. “I lacked the expertise to handle his medical needs.” Garrett founded Caregivers 4 Cancer after her husband died.

If you think you’re burning out as a caregiver but aren’t sure, you might find 5 Signs of Caregiver Burnout – Barbra Streisand helpful.

The Cost of a Paid Caregiver or Care Provider

Different levels of support have different pricetags. “Simple companionship includes activities such as sitting with, talking, going to the park or museum, and sharing lunch,” says Brenda Avadian, founder of The Caregivers Voice. “This can run as low $10-$12 an hour plus expenses, and may be arranged informally with friends.” Avadian says higher levels of care, such as regular bathing and administration of medication, can cost double that or more. For information on hiring a paid caregiver, read Move Over Hired Help is Here.

The annual cost ranges widely. Wendy Johnstone, an Eldercare Planner with the Caregivers Association of BC says caregiving costs can range from $5,000 to $50,000 per year. “The Investors Group recently surveyed 500 Canadians between the ages of 43 and 63, and found that 40% of all caregivers paid an average of $6,000 per year for caregiving help,” she says. “Additionally, a recent study by BMO Financial Group found that only 7% of Boomers asked for advice on budgeting for their aging parents’ care.”

We have a caregiving crisis, she says, and it’s not on the radar screen. “It’s simmering on the back burner, when it should be on the front burner setting off the smoke alarm.”

To prepare for caregiving costs, make sure you’re taking charge of your money as soon as possible – before a financial crisis hits your home.

Tax Credits and Help for Caregiving Costs

Canadian tax credits. Johnstone lists the tax credits that may be used by caregivers: the Caregiver Tax Credit, the Disability Tax Credit, the Eligible Dependent Tax Credit, and the Medical Expenses Tax Credit. Collectively, these tax credits can amount to as much as $10,000 (though few caregivers are eligible for the full amount). She recommends talking to an accountant about possible tax deductions.

Employment Insurance Compassionate Care Benefits. These benefits are available to employed family members caring for a gravely ill relative at risk of dying within 26 weeks. “These benefits are offered through Human Resources and Social Development Canada (HRSDC),” says Johnstone. “If you are currently working full-time with employee benefits, talk to your Human Resources Department. You may be entitled to benefits that help you find the right services.” For more information, visit Employment Insurance Compassionate Care.

Veteran Affairs Canada (VAC). This service offers a diverse set of programs and services to veterans and other eligible clients. Aids to Daily Living is a program that assists clients with the purchase of prosthetic and orthotic devices, walkers, canes, wheelchairs, etc. Go to Veterans Affairs Canada to learn more.

“Financial help for care costs vary widely from province to province,” says Alex Handyside, a Certified Senior Advisor and the owner of ScotiaCare Homecare & Caregivers Inc. “For instance, Nova Scotia recently introduced a $400 per month allowance to qualified family caregivers who provide more than 20 hours per week of care to a qualified low-income care recipient.”

Johnstone adds that – unlike having a baby or preparing for a marathon – caregiving often happens with no warning, leaving families unprepared financially, physically, or emotionally.

If you have any thoughts or questions on caregiving – or the cost of care providers – please comment below…

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financial independence for women

Personal finance may not be every woman’s favorite topic – but it’s one of the most important things she’ll ever take care of in her life! Here are six steps to financial independence for women, with inspiration from the strong, successful author Ayn Rand.

“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” ~ Ayn Rand.

If you’re not taking control of your money, sooner or later you’ll face the consequences of your inaction (or your irresponsibility – ouch!)…and it won’t be pretty. These steps towards financial freedom for women are from Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money– click for more information. And, read on for six ways to strengthen your sense of personal finance….

6 Steps to Financial Independence for Women – Ayn Rand

1. Schedule your “retire rich” or “find financial freedom” time. Take an hour a month to think about how you can be a financially independent woman. Do you need to learn about basic personal finances, figure out where to invest $100 a month, or learn how to put money towards your retirement or children’s education? Block off an hour a month (or an hour a week, if you’re really motivated!) to pursue your financial goals.

2. Identify the flaws in your personal finance plan. If you’re not financially independent, then figure out where the wheels fell off the bus. Are you charging up your credit card bills and avoiding your student loan or mortgage loan debt? Are you financially supporting a spouse or family member when they should be doing it themselves? If you’re not financially independent, it’s for specific reasons – and the sooner you uncover those reasons, the further along the road to financial independence you’ll be.

3. Attend one personal finance course or investment seminar a month. “You can find these classes at community colleges, extension programs, credit unions, and even online,” writes Frankel in Nice Girls. “Many investment firms offer short evening programs designed for the financial novice.” If you’re going to a seminar at an investment firm, resist their sales pitches…learn as much as you can about investing your money, building your retirement income, and living within your budget. As Ayn Rand said “The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity” – and those opportunities may be right in your back yard!

4. Learn where your money “should” be going. Financial experts say your income or earnings should be divided up in specific ways. For instance, 10% of your income should be going to savings or investments, 25-40% to mortgage or rent, 8-15% to home-related expenses, 10-20% to food, 15-25% to transportation, 8-15% for medical expenses, 3-5% for clothing, 5-10% to personal or miscellaneous, and less than 5% to personal debt such as student or personal loans. If you’re spending more than these suggested amounts, then it may be time to consider shifting your expenses.

5. Take care of your credit rating by balancing your checkbook every month. “If you’re one of those women who make deposits but don’t reconcile their checkbook, then you’re more likely to treat money as dispensable – not something that has to be cared for and looked after,” says Lois Frankel. She encourages women who want to be financially independent to reconcile their accounts every month (or more often!). Your financial activities directly affect your credit score, which affects your ability to get mortgage or business loans. And if you want to be a female entrepreneur or start your own business one day, you’ll need a strong credit rating.

6. Remember that you can control your money – it doesn’t have to control you. Ayn Rand said, “Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.” Maybe you were taught to let men manage money when you were growing up, or that money isn’t feminine or ladylike. Banish those thoughts! Remember that money is just a tool to help you enjoy life – it’s doesn’t have to be something to avoid. Use your “financial freedom time” to learn as many money lessons as possible.

Here’s one of my favorite quotations for successful women: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” ~ Ayn Rand.

The only person who can stop you from achieving financial independence is you. Get out of your own way – and See Jane Soar!

If you have any thoughts or questions on these steps to strengthening your sense of personal finance, please comment below…

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“Age is more than just a number when it comes to financial planning,” says Lisa Caputo and Linda Descano – the dynamic duo behind Women & Co. “Starting early can help give you a leg up on a comfortable retirement. This is particularly important for women because we live longer than men, are more likely to require long-term care services, and take more time out of the work force to care for children and family members.  These financial realities make it even more important for us to start saving early, to save more as we earn more, and to plan carefully for those ‘time-out’ periods.”

These money lessons for women in their 50s and 60s are effective for women close to retirement – better late than never! For more financial info about retirement planning, click Women & Money: A Practical Guide to Estate Planning.

Money Lessons for Women in Their 50s and 60s

“Having a financial plan is an important step, but you need to review it regularly to make adjustments as life transitions occur,” say the financial experts at Women & Co. If you’re married or living with someone, you might find Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple helpful.

Money Lessons for Women in Their 50s

Re-balance Your Portfolio. Review your investment portfolio regularly. Make adjustments to accommodate different cash-flow needs and changes in income and living expenses, as well as your changing vision of life after retirement.

Catch Up on Retirement Savings. At age 50, you become eligible to make “catch-up” or extra, contributions to your IRA and 401(k) plan, or similar retirement plan. This year, the 401(k) plan catch-up amount is $5,500 over the basic limit of $16,500, for a total contribution allowed to $22,000.  For an IRA, you can make an extra $1,000 contribution for a maximum of $6,000 for the year.

Review Your Coverage. Regularly review your life and disability insurance coverage, which generally should replace enough of your income so that your family’s current and future needs are met. This includes everyday living expenses, short and long-term debts, education for your children, and retirement for your spouse/partner.

Money Lessons for Women in Their 60s

Look Into Social Security Benefits.  At age 62, you’re eligible to start receiving Social Security. However, your benefits could be reduced by as much as 30% if you opt to get Social Security before your Normal Retirement Age (also known as Full Retirement Age, which ranges from age 65 to 67 depending on year of birth).

Get Back to Budgeting Basics.  Learning to live on a fixed income requires different money management tactics than when you earned a salary with potential for increasing over time.  A timeless money tip for women is to practice good basic budgeting by tracking your money and spending habits.

Update Your Estate Plans.  Review your beneficiary designations on qualified plans, IRAs and life insurance policies. Talk to your financial, legal and tax advisors to make sure your estate plans are up-to-date.

If you’re experiencing a financial disaster, read Turning Failure to Successf for Female Entrepreneurs — it could help you rebound!

If you have any thoughts or questions on these money tips for women, please comment below…

Women & Co. is a financial resource program from Citi, dedicated to helping women achieve their financial goals.

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