“We all know what stress feels like,” says Liddy, who created a free Passages to Empowerment video series. “Those adrenalin rushing, nervous energy type of feelings that result in overall body tension and migraine headaches. It feels like being connected to a non-stop caffeine drip minus the energy boost.”

Today’s economy – and the stress of everyday life – gives women a good reason to feel this constant “fight or flight” anxiety. If your stress levels feel unmanageable, click So Stressed: The Ultimate Stress-Relief Plan for Women(pictured) for help. And, read on for Liddy’s stress relief plan for women… 

6 Smart Stress Solutions to Help You Mellow Out Fast

These tips will help you reconnect with the powerful woman within you!

1. Talk your walk: Any kind of movement will help during stressful times. The easiest form of exercise to engage in, anytime, anywhere is to simply take a walk. Uplevel this de-stress strategy by saying a positive Truth Affirmation™ with each stride. Say things to yourself like, “I’m doing a good job”, “I am blessed”, “Everything always comes together”…

2. Hug somebody: Physical contact with another human being (or your animal even) shoots happiness hormones throughout your entire body. For an instant feel good, give someone you love a big hug and stay in the embrace long enough to share a soothing breath together. And, if you don’t have anyone nearby, then give yourself a hug instead.

3. Simplify your surroundings: A cluttered mind, ToDo list and environment is the surefire road to stressville. Mellow out by slowing your life down, putting things away, and finishing what you start. Begin by focusing on one thing at a time. Eventually you will make big strides toward getting things in order. This simple habit of highly successful women not only offers stress relief, it can improve your career!

4. Sleep on it: Rome was not built in a day, and your life goals won’t be achieved that quickly, either. Giving your body the sleep it needs is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. Activate your de-stress defenses by going to bed at a decent hour each night. And, when possible, allow yourself a quick cat nap when you need it – napping is a great stress solution for women.

5. When in doubt, leave it out: When we are super-stressed we tend to ruminate on decisions, get overwhelmed with choices, and do what one of my clients calls, “the sit and spin.” When you find yourself obsessing about what is the “right thing to do”, allow yourself to let it be for a while. Revisiting it later will likely bring more clarity and allow you to make a better, easier choice. Plus, putting stressful decisions aside for awhile can help increase your energy levels.

6. The Super Stress Solution Scenario: Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, see if you can focus on the best that can happen. Take three minutes right now to consider the best case scenario for what is currently stressing you out. Then, move in THAT direction.

There is much for us to learn during stressful situations! Historically, much ingenuity, invention and wealth have been created during hard economic times. Enormous opportunities exist for you! When you arrive at a point where you are thinking more clearly and breathing more slowly, see how you can find those opportunities for success.

What’s your favorite way to mellow out after a long day? We welcome your tips for stress relief below…

Life Coach Susan Liddy, MA, PCC, CPCC is the founder and CEO of AspireLifeCoaching.org, a life coaching company on a mission to empower women globally. Susan is also the author of the “Secrets to Ultimate Living; What you wish you knew when you were 20!”

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“No one ever said that starting a business was easy,” writes Stewart in The Martha Stewart Rules (10 Essentials For Achieving Success As You Start, Build, Or Manage A Business). “The reality is that companies, even the largest and most well known, falter not once, but many times.”

If you’re a female entrepreneur, you need to know how to bounce back from failure – and not let setbacks become obstacles. Here are Martha Stewart’s tips for business startups; if you want to learn more from Stewart herself, click The Martha Stewart Rules.

For Female Entrepreneurs – Martha Stewart’s 10 Rules for Starting a Business

If this article isn’t quite what you’re looking for, try When You’re Starting Your Own Business – What Successful Businesswomen Know.

1. Build your business success around something you love – something inherently and endlessly interesting to you. So, write the book you want to read, bake the cakes you want to eat, and sell the clothes you want to wear.

2. Focus your attention and creativity on basic things, which people need and want. Then, look for ways to enlarge, improve, and enhance your Big Idea. For instance, my Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals seems to be evolving into a site about love relationships in particular, not goals in general. So, I may enlarge my basic idea (a blog about goals) into an enlarged, more specific website about relationships. That’s what readers seem to need and want!

3. Create a business plan that allows you to stay true to your Big Idea, yet helps you focus on the details. Remain flexible enough to zoom in or out on the vital aspects of your enterprise as your business grows. Martha Stewart’s third rule for starting a business involves a telescope (to look ahead), a wide-angle lens (your business’ environment), and a microscope (the details of your business).

4. Share your knowledge about your product or service with customers to create deep connections. Don’t just sell your product or service: help your customers or clients by teaching them, getting to know them, and asking for ideas or feedback.

5. Use smart, cost-effective promotional marketing techniques that will arrest the eye, tug at the heart, and convey what is unique and special about your business or service. Martha Stewart uses the example of Madge (a manicurist) selling Palmolive dish soap. She adds a personal touch to a mundane household product. When starting a business, female entrepreneurs need to find their own touch.

6. Put quality at the top of your list of priorities, and keep it there. Quality is something you should strive for in every decision, every day. This means striving to be your best self – even in the details – when you’re starting and running your business.

7. Seek out and hire employees who are brimming with talent, energy, integrity, optimism, and generosity. Search for advisers and partners who complement your skills and understand your ideals.

8. When faced with a business challenge, evaluate or assess the situation, gather the good things in sight, abandon the bad, clear your mind, and move on. Focus on the positive, stay in control, and never panic. For more info, read Turning Failure to Success for Female Entrepreneurs.

9. Remember that in business, there’s a difference between a risk and a chance. A well-calculated risk may very well end up as an investment in your business. A careless chance can cause it to crumble. When an opportunity presents itself, never assume it will be your last.

10. Listen intently, learn new things every day, be willing to innovate, and become an authority your customers will trust. As a female entrepreneur, you will find great joy and satisfaction in making your customers’ lives easier, more meaningful, and more beautiful.

“When work is based in passion, it does not feel like work – it feels fulfilling and empowering, far more about creating, building, devising, initiating, leading, and serving than simply moving through one task and on to another,” writes Martha Stewart.

If you want more info on any of these tips for female entrepreneurs, please let me know below! I’d be happy to write another article, explaining any of Martha Stewart’s business rules in more depth…

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“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life,” says Anais Nin. “You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead.”

Below are some suggestions for not giving negativity power over your life. For more tips for successful careerwomen, click on See Jane Lead: 99 Ways for Women to Take Charge at Work by Lois Frankel. And, read on for ways to cope with negative coworkers who drain your energy…

Coping With Negative Coworkers Who Drain Your Energy – Anais Nin

Limit your time alone with negative coworkers. This one of the most important ways to cope with people who drain your energy: put as much space between you and them as possible. Both physical and emotional space counts! This means not sitting next to them at meetings, not carpooling with them, and not having lunch with them. Set time limits – and learn how to say no without feeling guilty.

Spend time with coworkers who fill you with energy. Right after you spend time with a coworker who drains your energy, seek someone who fills you back up again. Maybe you need to make a quick phone call to a friend or family member, or walk down the hall to a colleague’s office. Coping with negative people is much easier when you deliberately and immediately “fill the gap” they left. For more info on dealing with toxic people, read Coping With Toxic Female Friendships – Joan Baez.

Pick specific times for meetings. Avoid getting caught up in impromptu meetings, which you aren’t emotionally or professionally prepared for. Instead, be deliberate about setting meeting times. You could either get the meeting over with first thing in the morning (and possibly feel drained the rest of the day), or meet with your negative coworker at the end of the day (and go home feeling drained). Obviously, there’s no perfect solution – but setting a specific time gives you time to prepare.

Prepare for meetings. Of course you want to be professionally prepared – but you also want to be emotionally ready to cope with negative coworkers who drain your energy. This means pumping yourself up before the meeting. Take five or ten minutes to chat with a positive person, look at pictures of your last vacation, child, or pet, or visualize your favorite place in the world. (And, if you tend to procrastinate when preparing for meetings, you might find 7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach helpful!).

Try not to misread words or actions. “Women frequently misread neutral cues as being negative or critical,” writes Lois Frankel in See Jane Lead: 99 Ways for Women to Take Charge at Work. She says most women have strong emotional intelligence and social awareness overall, but they aren’t always accurate in their interpretations. So, be careful not to project your own feelings onto a coworker. For example, if you always feel criticized about an aspect of your job performance, you might want to check your own feelings about your performance.

One last quotation from a successful woman (well she was at one time, anyway — not sure if she still is now): “The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power,” says Roseanne Barr. “You just take it.”

If you’re thinking about quitting your job, read How to Successfully Change Careers – Suze Orman.

What have I missed? I welcome your thoughts and questions about coping with negative coworkers who drain your energy below!

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“Procrastination has robbed us of too many opportunities,” says Sarah Ban Breathnach.

What opportunities have you missed because of procrastination? You may never know — you may not know where you’d be today if you didn’t struggle with procrastination. Putting things off has a serious negative effect on your career! For more info on time management (which can help with procrastination), read SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life: A Four-Step Guide to Getting Unstuckby Julie Morgenstern. And, read on for seven ways to overcome procrastination at work…

7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination at Work – Sarah Ban Breathnach

“Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage,” said Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby.

1. Figure out why you procrastinate. Do you procrastinate in all aspects of your life – or is it just in your career? Are you afraid of succeeding, of failing, of being judged, of not being perfect? If you wrestle with perfectionism, read 5 Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism. I definitely struggle with procrastination in my writing career; I’ve figured out it’s because I don’t want to waste my time. I don’t want to spend hours, months, or years on writing a book that never gets published! But, I’ve found a way to get around that fear…

2. Find a solution that works for you. There are dozens of ways to overcome procrastination at work – but you need to find the solutions that suit your personality, lifestyle, and goals. For instance, I’ve always been lukewarm about rewarding myself for writing a certain number of words per day…but I’ve found that writing for just one hour motivates me! And, I keep telling myself that my writing won’t be wasted, even if it doesn’t get published in the form I hope for. Keep trying different ways to stop procrastinating until you yell, “Eureka!”

3. Find out what your lateness does to others.  “The perpetually tardy stay in happy denial about the effect of their lateness on others,” writes Morgenstern in Shed Your Stuff. “Raising your awareness can make you think twice before throwing your own schedule into turmoil.” She suggests asking your colleagues what happens for them when you’re late, and how your procrastination honestly affects them. Their answers may motivate you to overcome procrastination at work.

4. Stop taking on other people’s responsibilities. This is a way to overcome procrastination at work from Morgenstern’s book: “Create a sign on your computer that says ‘Don’t do other people’s jobs.’ Use this reminder to stop yourself in your tracks and ask yourself this simple question, ‘How could I better use this time?’” Focus on your own work. If you think you’re in the wrong job, read How to Successfully Change Careers – Suze Orman.

5. Become aware of “busywork.” I made a list of my busywork tasks (eg, checking email, answering comments on my blogs and Suite101, tweeting, visiting writers’ forums), and I’ve scheduled set times in my day for them. They’re valuable activities that need to get done, but they don’t need my attention whenever I feel like it. Another way to overcome procrastination at work is to reward yourself with a tweet or visit to a favorite forum - when you’ve met your goals for the hour or day.

6. Stop lying to yourself. According to a Psychology Today article, procrastinators tell lies to themselves, such as “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow” or “I work best under pressure.” Since you probably won’t feel more inclined to do the work tomorrow and good work is rarely done under pressure or at the last minute, you’re just lying to yourself. Instead of squandering one of the most pressure resources you have – time – start dealing with your procrastinating ways today! For more inspiration, read Getting What You Want Out of Life – Angelina Jolie.

Here’s another quotation about procrastination from Sarah Ban Breathnach: “The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.”

If you have any thoughts or questions on overcoming procrastination at work, please comment below. 

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But, getting another diploma, degree or certificate isn’t the solution in all situations…

“Going back to school makes sense only if it is a necessary step in a well-conceived career change,” writes Orman in The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke. “Otherwise, it’s just a bad excuse to get out of a situation that isn’t working for you.”

For more solid money and career advice, click The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke by Suze Orman. And, read on for tips on successfully changing careers, some of which are based on her book…

How to Successfully Change Careers – Suze Orman

Think career, not short-term job. When I first started freelance writing (I’m The Adventurous Writer), my husband kept talking about my “writing career.” That freaked me out at first, but then I began to think about my writing that way…as a career, not just a dream, goal, or way to pay the bills. It changed how I organize my workday, what I focus on, and what types of magazine assignments I accept.

Learn how to cope with failure – and build your resilience. Successful women fail a lot – and they bounce back a lot more! Learn how to overcome failure, recover from setbacks, and focus on your long-term vision. Expect that you’ll have to struggle to achieve your goals…because good things rarely come easily.

Make sure your choices take you in the right direction. Before you decide to take a class, quit a job, accept a promotion, or take on a new client, ask yourself if that choice moves you towards your long-term career goals. Avoid the inclination to dismiss your needs to make other people happy or fulfill their expectations (read Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations – Maria Shriver for help with this). Surround yourself with women who are where you want to be…or who are getting where they want to go.

Build a financial cushion before starting a new career. “If your new job involves going back to school, even part-time, or taking a new job at lower pay, I want you to take the time to build up a bit of a cash cushion to help you through the transition,” writes Orman. When you’re leaving a job you hate or that doesn’t suit you, the last thing you need is create financial stress! So, scale down on the extras and focusing on pursuing your passions.

Aim for the right opportunities – not the best money. “The right job at the right company in the right field is your goal early on,” writes Orman. “Follow your passion. There will be plenty of time to make money down the line.” Of course, this works best when you’re not struggling to pay the bills or feed your kids! Read 7 Unusual Tips for Spending Less Money for a different perspective on saving money when you’re starting a new career.

Don’t rely on the internet if you’re changing careers. If you post your resume on job sites or email it to potential employers, you’ll be lost in a sea of blurry faces. Instead, visit the people and places you actually want to work with or for. Make phone calls. Your computer is fabulous for research – but successfully starting a new career requires face-to-face interaction.

What have I missed? If you have any questions or tips on successfully changing careers, please comment below!

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Here’s what Shriver says about living up to other people’s expectations:

“As long as I was trying to anticipate what people wanted from me, as long as I was trying to fulfill other people’s expectations, I was in a losing game,” said Shriver, author of Just Who Will You Be?: Big Question. Little Book. “That’s what I want to focus on…letting go of other people’s expectations of you so you can own your own life, write your own story and live your own legacy.” (From her speech in ’07 at the Annual Woman’s Conference in California) 

Maria Shriver gave up her career as a highly respected journalist to support Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor; she’s honest about how she lost herself in that role. If Shriver gave Michelle Obama advice, what would she say? 

How Michelle Obama and Maria Shriver Are Alike

Before Barack hit the campaign trail, Michelle Obama earned $300,000 as a lawyer and hospital executive. She was a successful career woman – just like Shriver was.

And, she’s giving up her career to support her husband…just like Shriver did.

After Schwarzenegger was elected, Maria Shriver was totally caught up in other people’s expectations: her family’s, her husband’s, and the state of California’s. The only expectations she didn’t fulfill were her own. Shriver lost herself and – like many women – had to re-learn who she was and what she really wanted. Writing the book Just Who Will You Be? was part of her journey back to herself.

Is Michelle Obama losing herself? She says she doesn’t miss her independent career. “I have very full days,” she says. “When we’re done, I can structure a more formal career if that’s where I choose to go.” (People Magazine, March 9, ’09).

Maria Shriver’s Advice to Michelle Obama

I think Shriver would tell Michelle Obama not to focus on creating new China patterns or mixing current dishes for White House dinners – and aim for higher commendations than being “imaginative” in picking out dishes for dinner! Shriver would encourage Michelle to be authentic, honest with herself and others, and let go of other people’s expectations.

Maria Shriver would encourage Michelle Obama to make a pledge to herself. Shriver’s own pledge is, “I pledge to show up in life as myself, not as an imitation of anyone else.” 

It’s hard for me to believe that a smart, educated, sophisticated woman like Michelle Obama could be satisfied with something less than her intellectually challenging career. Shriver regretted losing herself in the role of politician’s wife…and I keep wondering if Michelle Obama is doing the same thing!

What do you think Shriver’s advice to Michelle Obama would be?

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Are you criticized for the clothes you wear to work? Don’t let it get to you! Take Whoopi Goldberg’s, who is a genuine “woman who wasn’t well-behaved.” But remember — there may be a cost associated with wearing whatever you want to work…

Did you hear Whoopi’s response on The View to the woman who criticized her clothes? Among other things, the woman said Whoopi’s clothes were baggy and unappealing; Whoopi told the critical woman to “Kiss my a–” and offered other choice words that don’t make her a well-behaved woman (my kinda lady!).

As a woman, should you wear whatever you want to work? Only if youd don’t care about furthering your career or if you’re established in your profession – like Whoopi Goldberg is. Here’s how wearing what you want at work can affect your career…and, to learn more about this successful woman, click on Whoopi Goldberg: The Journey From Poverty to Mega-Stardom by James Robert Parish.

Wearing What You Want at Work – Whoopi Goldberg

Don’t get “no respect” at work? Check your appearance… Like it or not, the clothes you wear to work affect the level of respect you get, the chances you’ll be promoted, and how credible you are to your colleagues.

“Before we even open our mouths, people have made a mental judgment about us based on how we are dressed, how we carry ourselves, and the demeanor with which we present ourselves,” writes Lois Frankel in Stop Sabotaging Your Career. “Within 30 seconds, a first impression is formed, so you’d better make that the best impression possible – it can make the difference in someone giving you the edge or simply dismissing you.”

But Whoopi Goldberg’s in a different class…or is she?

If you knew nothing about Whoopi and you came across The View, would her clothes (casual, comfortable, and baggy, like she’s hanging out at home) add to or detract from her opinions? Would you think Whoopi was a successful woman, based on what she wears to work?

Think long-term about what you wear to work. I love Whoopi Goldberg and I respect her for addressing the woman who criticized her clothes! But I do wonder how her clothes affect her long-term career potential. Now, I know that Whoopi is set for life and probably doesn’t have to worry about her next job or career step…but I also wonder if her appearance affects her long-term job prospects. If she was a young woman at the beginning of her career, would she dress differently? Maybe, because it would matter more what she wore to work.

We regular women at work need to consider our long-term career potential – and that includes thinking twice about what we wear to work. No matter what our fashion choices are, I think it’s important to be conscious of the fact that our appearance affects our colleagues, our income potential, and our future prospects.

Do you think Whoopi’s clothes matter? And what about your clothes – do you wear what you want to work? Has your appearance, image, and fashion style furthered your career, or stalled it?

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The life lesson: success is often about finding the right timing in life. The successful woman: Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop. Here’s what she says about timing and business – and her thoughts on how age makes women radical!

“I am aware that success is more than a good idea,” says Roddick. “It’s timing, too. The Body Shop arrived just as Europe was going ‘green’.”

Her timing was perfect for The Body Shop – and for her hungry family. Here’s what inspired Roddick to start her business, and how finding the right timing increases your chances for success. And, click on Anita Roddick’s book Business as Usual: My Entrepreneurial Journey, Profits With Principles to learn more about how she succeeded.

Finding the Right Timing in Life - Anita Roddick

“I started The Body Shop in 1976 simply to create a livelihood for myself and my two daughters,” says Roddick. “My husband, Gordon, was trekking across the Americas.”

Roddick says that entrepreneurship is survival – even though nobody talks about it that way – and being an entrepreneur involves creative thinking. I’d say creative thinking is essential to being a successful entrepreneur! So is resilience, flexibility, and determination.

Roddick started The Body Shop to feed her family – just like many women start writing, teaching, or selling their products or services. Out of necessity, to survive. And that’s what they say about invention — it’s borne of necessity (“Necessity is the mother of invention”).

The first life lesson from Roddick: Perhaps the more necessary your dreams and goals are…the more likely you’ll succeed. That is, if you want to be a writer or small businessowner – you may be more likely to taste success if you have to succeed to feed your family and pay your bills. If you’re writing or playing with your business on the side, as a hobby, you may not be as hungry to survive. Hunger that can bring successful women to life! If you need a little push into a new career, read How to Successfully Change Careers – Suze Orman.

The second life lesson from Roddick: Success is – in large part – all about timing. To build a truly successful business, we need to be in the right place at the right time. Here’s an example I’ll never forget: Michael Creighton pitched the TV show ER in the 1970′s – long before viewers were ready for that type of medical drama. ER finally aired in 1994; the first time Creighton tried to run with the ER ball, he was 20 years too early.

So, you need to find the right timing in life…but what if you don’t? Successful women are resilient, and bounce back when their timing is off or when they fail. Successful women can put their ideas on hold for a few months or years, until the timing is right. And, successful women keep their eyes open so they recognize when new opportunities knock! For more info about bouncing back from failure, read 5 Ways to Build Resiliency. 

“The most exciting part of my life is now – I believe the older you get, the more radical you become,” says Roddick. She quotes Dorothy Sayers, who said, “A woman in advancing old age is unstoppable by any earthly force.”

What are your thoughts about finding the right timing in life and taking risks? I welcome your comments below…

For more info about The Body Shop, go to Anita Roddick.com.

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