“Women need to develop a healthy, honest relationship with our money,” says financial guru Suze Orman. “And we have to see this relationship as a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.”

In other words, our financial lives (mortgage payments, credit card debt, emergency savings fund, monthly budget, etc) are part of who we are as women. The serious debt or extreme wealth in our finances directly affects our emotional, physical, and spiritual lives. For more info on women and money, click The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying. And, read on for several sings of a financially independent woman (inspired by Suze Orman!)…

5 Signs of a Financially Independent Woman – Suze Orman

1. Financially independent women are aware of their “money personalities.” Did your parents invest in real estate, a secure low-interest savings account, mutual funds – or did they struggle with debt? Your saving and spending habits, investment style, attitude about money, and financial perspective is shaped in part by the way your parents treated money in your childhood. Your money personality directly affects your relationship with money – and the more self-aware you are, the more financial independence you’ll enjoy.

2. Financially independent women take financial risks. A financial risk doesn’t necessarily mean investing $10,000 in a friend’s new business or charging a $2,500 dollar dress to a maxed-out credit card. Taking healthy financial risks includes investing in your career by going back to school full or part-time, taking a mortgage on a small piece of real estate, or exploring ways to earn money from your hobby.

3. Financially independent women have their own checking, savings, or credit card accounts. So many readers make comments on my “Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals” blog about how they want to leave their common-law or married husbands, but can’t because they have no money to support themselves. Having a separate checking or savings account is the most basic sign of a financially independent woman…and yet many women don’t have their own source of money.

4. Financially independent women have both individual and couple money goals. Our goal as a married couple is to pay off the mortgage within a few months; my goal as a businesswoman is to earn $2,500 per month from my blogs. My husband has his own financial goals, mostly related to investing money in stocks and bonds. For a woman to have true financial independence, she needs to have goals that are separate from her partner’s. If you and your partner see money differently, you might find Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple helpful!

5. Financially independent women understand basic personal finance. This is where books about money for women are so important! I can’t describe retirement investing, compound and simple interest rates, living trusts, home insurance, income tax strategies, etc here – but a basic understanding of money is crucial for women. The more you know about basic personal finance, the more independent you’ll be.

One of my favorite books about money for women is Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money (I like it better than Suze Orman’s Women and Money).

Orman has the final word about money, though:

“Remember to stay involved with your money, to nurture a healthy relationship with it, for what happens to your money affects the quality of your life and the lives of all those you love.”

Are you financially independent? If not, have no fear…read Steps to Financial Independence for Women!

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First, the bad news:

“Opposites may attract, but I wouldn’t put my money on a relationship of financial opposites,” says Suze Orman.

But don’t fret, my friend! Just because Orman wouldn’t bet her money on a couple with two different money personalities doesn’t mean that couple is headed for relationship breakdown or serious financial problems. (phew, what a sentence that was!)

Here are several ways to deal with different money personalities as a couple. For more info, read Financially Ever After: The Couples’ Guide to Managing Money by Jeff Opdyke.

Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman

The two basic money personalities are savers and spenders. If you’re a saver married to a spender – or a spender married to a saver – you’ll run into different relationship challenges than two spenders, or two savers.

Know your FICO score. “If you forced me to pick one single bit of advice that would have the biggest impact on turning around your financial situation, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second,” writes Orman in The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke. “You have to know your FICO score.” Before you tackle your “saver versus spender” money personalities, learn about your credit score. Do you need to do some damage repair?

Separate your finances. Consider having two separate income streams and bank accounts. This way, if you’re a saver you can invest your money any way you want. If your partner is a spender, he can spend his earnings any way he wants. You can divide the household bills and other sources of debt, and pay for those equally but separately.

Learn how to talk about money objectively. Whether you’re deciding how to invest a $10,000 windfall or struggling to pay off medical debt – you need to talk about your financial problems or perks rationally. This means accepting your different money personalities without blame, resentment, or bitterness. For help, read Tips for Talking About Money for Couples.

Talk about your money personalities before marriage. “After you marry, every asset either of you acquires is jointly held,” says Suze Orman. “That’s why you both need to be in sync on your long-term financial goals, from paying off the mortgage to putting away for retirement. Ideally, you should talk about all this before you wed. If you don’t, you can end up deeply frustrated and financially spent.”  For help, read Figuring Out Your Finances for Engaged Couples.

Consult a financial planner. Dealing with different money personalities as a couple can get difficult – and those difficulties can affect other parts of your relationship. To solve your financial problems, consider talking to a financial planner who can help you see the big picture. He/she can help you set your general financial goals (eg, retirement planning), as well as determine the details that will help you achieve those goals (eg, a monthly budget).

“In all realms of life it takes courage to stretch your limits, express your power, and fulfill your potential,” says Suze Orman. “It’s no different in the financial realm.”

Are you a saver — and is your partner a spender? How do you deal with it?  If you have any comments or questions on these tips for dealing with different money personalities as a couple, you are welcome below….

For more inspiration from Suze Orman, read How to Successfully Change Careers! 

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