Comments on: Making Envy Work for You – Helen Gurley Brown http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/making-envy-work-for-you-helen-gurley-brown/ Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History Mon, 09 Jan 2012 05:35:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: How to Live Your Best Life - Oprah Winfrey http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/making-envy-work-for-you-helen-gurley-brown/comment-page-1/#comment-3376 How to Live Your Best Life - Oprah Winfrey Mon, 09 Aug 2010 16:41:48 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=443#comment-3376 [...] 4. Don’t compare yourself to other women. “You can have it all,” said Oprah Winfrey. “You just can’t have it all at once.” Are you jealous of a coworker, friend, or family member who has a successful career? Or maybe you’re the one with the successful career, but you wish you had a husband or kids or more time to travel. One of the biggest tips for living your best life is not comparing yourself to other women! Each of us has our own life to live, and we need to accept where we are at any given time in our lives. If the green-eyed monster visits you regularly, read Making Envy Work for You – Helen Gurley Brown. [...] [...] 4. Don’t compare yourself to other women. “You can have it all,” said Oprah Winfrey. “You just can’t have it all at once.” Are you jealous of a coworker, friend, or family member who has a successful career? Or maybe you’re the one with the successful career, but you wish you had a husband or kids or more time to travel. One of the biggest tips for living your best life is not comparing yourself to other women! Each of us has our own life to live, and we need to accept where we are at any given time in our lives. If the green-eyed monster visits you regularly, read Making Envy Work for You – Helen Gurley Brown. [...]

]]> By: Laurie PK http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/making-envy-work-for-you-helen-gurley-brown/comment-page-1/#comment-187 Laurie PK Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:06:45 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=443#comment-187 I had a friend who was quite resentful of my boundaries, and I felt terribly guilty for the longest time. I won't take personal calls during the day (I'm WORKING!), and even after 2 years, my friend still gives me little digs about it. It's easing up - both my guilt and her resentment - but boy, it was tough at first. A great example of how to focus your energy on Twitter the other day: a woman said that she vows not to overeat that whole day. Another woman - a life coach - encouraged her not to use the words "not" or "won't" because the Universe doesn't recognize negatives. All it sees is "overeat." So, if you don't want to overeat (or get published, or find a great relationship, or build a strong blog), it's better to think of it in terms of what you want to do. "I will eat healthy nutritious foods, and leave the table when my belly is 70% full" ... or "I will send my book proposal to this agent or that publisher, and keep looking for new opportunities while I wait." Gini, this probably isn't new to you...but I like writing it here because it solidifies it in my mind, and I like thinking that you might read this! See you soon, Laurie I had a friend who was quite resentful of my boundaries, and I felt terribly guilty for the longest time. I won’t take personal calls during the day (I’m WORKING!), and even after 2 years, my friend still gives me little digs about it. It’s easing up – both my guilt and her resentment – but boy, it was tough at first.

A great example of how to focus your energy on Twitter the other day: a woman said that she vows not to overeat that whole day. Another woman – a life coach – encouraged her not to use the words “not” or “won’t” because the Universe doesn’t recognize negatives. All it sees is “overeat.”

So, if you don’t want to overeat (or get published, or find a great relationship, or build a strong blog), it’s better to think of it in terms of what you want to do. “I will eat healthy nutritious foods, and leave the table when my belly is 70% full” … or “I will send my book proposal to this agent or that publisher, and keep looking for new opportunities while I wait.”

Gini, this probably isn’t new to you…but I like writing it here because it solidifies it in my mind, and I like thinking that you might read this!

See you soon,
Laurie

]]> By: Gini Grey http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/making-envy-work-for-you-helen-gurley-brown/comment-page-1/#comment-174 Gini Grey Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:06:08 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=443#comment-174 You've got it Laurie - I'm big on shifting energy patterns through law of attraction, but not just by thinking about what you want, but by being the energy of it (that is true like attracting like) and as you said, you may not get strong family ties just by focusing on it, but if you feel the wonderful feeling of acceptance and love that would result from strong family ties, as you suggested, you will add to the creation of bonds, and even if you're family wasn't up for it, you would feel so good you wouldn't mind. I had a client whose husband left and, of course, she was shocked, depressed etc. but when I asked what she wanted and why - the end result was to feel loved - so guess what - as she focused on feeling the love inside of her and let it blossom out - not only did her husband want to get back with her, but she had attracted another suitable partner so she got to choose what was best for her now that she was in this new space of loving herself. Re the sage tidbit - my Mom used to say that - whatever I was criticizing in someone, it was something I didn't like about myself. But I've seen it the other way as well - when we judge something in someone it might be something positive we are not owning in ourselves or not creating for ourselves. For example, I used to judge a friend for being so rigid about her schedule that she didn't have time to get together with friends (like me) as often as they (or I) wanted to. But when I looked deeper I realized that her quality of setting boundaries was one I wasn't using in my life so then I respected her more and learned to say no in areas of my life where I would always say yes (and regret later). So judgment = envy = growth. I like it! You’ve got it Laurie – I’m big on shifting energy patterns through law of attraction, but not just by thinking about what you want, but by being the energy of it (that is true like attracting like) and as you said, you may not get strong family ties just by focusing on it, but if you feel the wonderful feeling of acceptance and love that would result from strong family ties, as you suggested, you will add to the creation of bonds, and even if you’re family wasn’t up for it, you would feel so good you wouldn’t mind.

I had a client whose husband left and, of course, she was shocked, depressed etc. but when I asked what she wanted and why – the end result was to feel loved – so guess what – as she focused on feeling the love inside of her and let it blossom out – not only did her husband want to get back with her, but she had attracted another suitable partner so she got to choose what was best for her now that she was in this new space of loving herself.

Re the sage tidbit – my Mom used to say that – whatever I was criticizing in someone, it was something I didn’t like about myself. But I’ve seen it the other way as well – when we judge something in someone it might be something positive we are not owning in ourselves or not creating for ourselves. For example, I used to judge a friend for being so rigid about her schedule that she didn’t have time to get together with friends (like me) as often as they (or I) wanted to. But when I looked deeper I realized that her quality of setting boundaries was one I wasn’t using in my life so then I respected her more and learned to say no in areas of my life where I would always say yes (and regret later).

So judgment = envy = growth. I like it!

]]> By: Laurie PK http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/making-envy-work-for-you-helen-gurley-brown/comment-page-1/#comment-170 Laurie PK Sun, 07 Jun 2009 23:26:50 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=443#comment-170 The idea of judging someone, and then realizing that envy may be the reason for the judgment, makes me think of this sage tidbit: when you don't like something about someone else, it may be a quality you dislike in yourself. Yes, I like the idea of shifting energy -- it reminds me of the law of attraction! Is this how it would work?: You can make envy work for you by focusing on how you'd feel if you attained that quality or position...and the more you focus on the good quality (eg, a calm gentle spirit), the closer you get to it? For instance, I can't focus on "getting" strong family ties...but I can focus on the wonderful feeling of acceptance and love. That may make me act in ways that connect me to the people I do have in my life, which will create strong bonds. Then, I'll feel accepted and loved! It's an upward spiral. Very cool. Thanks, Gini! I don't know if I got it quite right, but I sure love how it sounds. :) Laurie The idea of judging someone, and then realizing that envy may be the reason for the judgment, makes me think of this sage tidbit: when you don’t like something about someone else, it may be a quality you dislike in yourself.

Yes, I like the idea of shifting energy — it reminds me of the law of attraction!

Is this how it would work?: You can make envy work for you by focusing on how you’d feel if you attained that quality or position…and the more you focus on the good quality (eg, a calm gentle spirit), the closer you get to it?

For instance, I can’t focus on “getting” strong family ties…but I can focus on the wonderful feeling of acceptance and love. That may make me act in ways that connect me to the people I do have in my life, which will create strong bonds. Then, I’ll feel accepted and loved! It’s an upward spiral.

Very cool. Thanks, Gini! I don’t know if I got it quite right, but I sure love how it sounds. :)

Laurie

]]> By: Gini Grey http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/making-envy-work-for-you-helen-gurley-brown/comment-page-1/#comment-153 Gini Grey Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:39:41 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/?p=443#comment-153 Another great article Laurie. I've been playing with turning envy around lately, but for me it started more with a judgement about someone and when I looked closer I saw was really jeaulosy of a quality she had, which then took me to envy - once I owned that I was envious (wanting the quality she had) I stopped judging her, stopped feeling so jeaulous, and moved more into the feeling of envy, which for me, feels more uplifting than jealousy. Now when I think of the quality I envy I try to emody the quality she has in myself by feeling the way I imagine it would feel to have her quality - and then I don't envy her anymore because I have embodied that state. This is probably a little bit trickier when it comes to envying someone who has something more tangible like the ideal house I'd like to have, or financial abundance etc. yet for me, it always starts with a feeling and by shifting the energy, and then things manifest physically from there (a little bit slow for me at times though:) Another great article Laurie. I’ve been playing with turning envy around lately, but for me it started more with a judgement about someone and when I looked closer I saw was really jeaulosy of a quality she had, which then took me to envy – once I owned that I was envious (wanting the quality she had) I stopped judging her, stopped feeling so jeaulous, and moved more into the feeling of envy, which for me, feels more uplifting than jealousy. Now when I think of the quality I envy I try to emody the quality she has in myself by feeling the way I imagine it would feel to have her quality – and then I don’t envy her anymore because I have embodied that state.

This is probably a little bit trickier when it comes to envying someone who has something more tangible like the ideal house I’d like to have, or financial abundance etc. yet for me, it always starts with a feeling and by shifting the energy, and then things manifest physically from there (a little bit slow for me at times though:)

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