Living Your Own Life – Maria Shriver’s Advice to Michelle Obama?
Maria Shriver writes and speaks about living your own life and writing your own story. 
Here’s what Shriver says about living up to other people’s expectations:
“As long as I was trying to anticipate what people wanted from me, as long as I was trying to fulfill other people’s expectations, I was in a losing game,” said Shriver, author of Just Who Will You Be?: Big Question. Little Book
Maria Shriver gave up her career as a highly respected journalist to support Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor; she’s honest about how she lost herself in that role. If Shriver gave Michelle Obama advice, what would she say?
How Michelle Obama and Maria Shriver Are Alike
Before Barack hit the campaign trail, Michelle Obama earned $300,000 as a lawyer and hospital executive. She was a successful career woman – just like Shriver was.
And, she’s giving up her career to support her husband…just like Shriver did.
After Schwarzenegger was elected, Maria Shriver was totally caught up in other people’s expectations: her family’s, her husband’s, and the state of California’s. The only expectations she didn’t fulfill were her own. Shriver lost herself and – like many women – had to re-learn who she was and what she really wanted. Writing the book Just Who Will You Be? was part of her journey back to herself.
Is Michelle Obama losing herself? She says she doesn’t miss her independent career. “I have very full days,” she says. “When we’re done, I can structure a more formal career if that’s where I choose to go.” (People Magazine, March 9, ’09).
Maria Shriver’s Advice to Michelle Obama
I think Shriver would tell Michelle Obama not to focus on creating new China patterns or mixing current dishes for White House dinners – and aim for higher commendations than being “imaginative” in picking out dishes for dinner! Shriver would encourage Michelle to be authentic, honest with herself and others, and let go of other people’s expectations.
Maria Shriver would encourage Michelle Obama to make a pledge to herself. Shriver’s own pledge is, “I pledge to show up in life as myself, not as an imitation of anyone else.”
It’s hard for me to believe that a smart, educated, sophisticated woman like Michelle Obama could be satisfied with something less than her intellectually challenging career. Shriver regretted losing herself in the role of politician’s wife…and I keep wondering if Michelle Obama is doing the same thing!
What do you think Shriver’s advice to Michelle Obama would be?
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Thanks for your comment, Monica!
I’ve been getting the impression that people don’t like Maria Shriver. I don’t mean here, in these comments….but in the “real world.” I live in Canada, so may be insulated from what’s really going on in California (I don’t keep up on Shriver’s activities)….but maybe Shriver isn’t as respected as I thought?
I commend Michele Obama in supporting her husband by standing by his side 100% and I do not think that she put her career on hold just for her husband but for family unity like no family that I have not seen in the public eye for years. Maybe, it for a short period until she transition as the First Lady and now she has quality time with her husband and her daughters like the majority of wives and mothers do not have since they are working two or three jobs to make ends meet. I am pretty sure that one day she will get up and do her own career. Anyways, she forunate because she don’t have to work 9 to 5 since her husband can afford it and have quality time for herself instead of impressing others like Shiver did.
Good point — I do see the value of putting your career on hold to be part of something bigger!
I just wonder if Michelle Obama will ever regret the choices she’s making now, like Maria Shriver did. But nothing is wasted if it’s used to better other people’s lives….like Maria Shriver’s experience. She may have lost her self-identity after Schwarzenegger became govenor of California, but in finding herself, she helps other women find themselves.
So even wrong turns aren’t all bad…if they’re used somehow!
Thanks for your comment, Juice – it’s great to get a different perspective.
Perhaps Michelle is content to put her career on hold for the term or two (or forever). A job, or a career, may not be the defining attribute of someone’s life. There is nothing wrong with not being totally devoted to the self. It certainly doesn’t mean you become an imitation of those around you. Her life, and anyone’s, may be bigger by being a part of something more.