Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Appearance – 5 Truths About Beauty
“Face it: there is no magic solution to aging with grace and dignity,” say authors Vivian Diller, PhD, and Jill Muir-Sukenick, PhD. “We were once professional models, so we were made acutely aware how quickly a premium on physical beauty can fade with age. It took hard work and time, but we learned the secret of how to enjoy our changing appearance. Now we are therapists treating hundreds of women who may be fulfilled and evolved in many ways, but are still having difficulty coming to terms with the lines of time.”
To learn how to accept aging naturally (without cosmetic surger!), read Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change, which was edited by Michele Willens. And, here are five truths about beauty that may change how you feel about your appearance…
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Appearance – 5 Truths About Beauty
Guest post ~ Vivian Diller, PhD, and Jill Muir-Sukenick, PhD
1. Beauty is not just a physical experience, but a psychological one as well. We tend to think of beauty as a skin-deep issue, all about how we physically look. But research tells us that perception of what is deemed attractive and unattractive is much more complicated. Why do you think some beautiful women say, “I’ve never thought I was pretty”? Yes, even beauties like Uma Thurman and Michelle Pfeiffer have drawn attention to what they consider flaws. Similarly, there are women who may not be your typical image of beauty, yet when you ask them they say they are quite confident in their looks. Serena Williams never tries to cover up her unconventionally muscular physique: in fact, she flaunts it and somehow it makes her more appealing. What makes women feel and look beautiful goes well beyond our physical self. It runs deep, much deeper than the eye can see.
2. Although we can’t stop the physical changes of aging, we can change our experience of aging. No one, not any doctor, dermatologist or surgeon can stop physical changes of aging. There may be ways to look better, take care of your skin and bodies that put things temporarily on hold, at least on the surface. We’re all for that! We’re also for ways we can experience — and even enjoy — our changing looks. If we take care of ourselves, it makes us feel better and we smile more. When we smile, we look more attractive. The sooner we go through an interior process, the more naturally beautiful you’ll feel inside and out.
3. While aging is inevitable and irreversible, self-image is not. Self-image can be fluid and timeless. Self-image is not an actual still picture of oneself. It is an internal experience, how we see ourselves from within, over time throughout our lives. It’s flexible and malleable. And we can take deliberate steps to improve our self-image – which is what we try to help women do. The truth about beauty isn’t about age; it’s about self-image.
4. Beauty is in the “I” of the beholder. If we become our own internal “eye,” we can take control over how we see ourselves, rather than give it over to other people to determine if we’re attractive or not. Our six steps serve to change our thoughts, which change how we see ourselves and others. The result? Women will be less self-critical and less judgmental of one other.
5. Chronological age does not have to define you. You can define yourself at your chronological age. A particular age has little to do with how old you feel. You can define how you want to be 40, 50 and onward. We also don’t have to let magazine images define what is beautiful. Some women in their 20′s feel old. Some women in their 60′s feel young.
What do you think – is there any truth to these ideas about beauty? Can changing your thoughts change your appearance?
© 2010 Vivian Diller Ph.D., Jill Muir-Sukenick Ph.D., Michele Willens.
Related posts:
Such an important topic, especially for our young girls who are bombarded with “beauty” messages every day!
I think “they say” we all see over 1 million messages related to beauty each day on the Internet, tv, movies, billboards…
I do believe we can choose our experience of aging.
I remember as a young girl hating how I looked, and today I look at pictures from them and see such a pretty girl.
Sad that I couldn’t embrace my beauty then… yet I can learn from that experience and realize that 10 years from now I’ll likely look back on myself today and see a beautiful woman.
So today, I choose to see my aging skin and fading hair color as “beautiful” and will focus on loving myself and my body in all it’s glory.
.-= Susan Liddy´s last blog post..American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Is Advocating for U.S. Pediatricians to Perform Certain Types of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) =-.