“The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, ‘If we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it jumping up and down.’”  ~ Rita Rudner.

Aerobics is so “eighties”! Now it’s Pilates, Ballet Boot Camp, Wii, and Zumba. If you need help with healthy weight loss, check out the P90X Extreme Home Fitness with Tony Horton – it’s Amazon’s bestselling health and fitness product. And, here are five steps to losing weight and keeping it off…

6 Steps to Healthy Weight Loss – Rita Rudner

1. Have realistic expectations. Healthy weight loss happens slowly, so don’t be discouraged after the first couple of weeks! It can take six weeks before you see physical changes in your body. “To avoid getting derailed,” says fitness instructor Amanda Vogel, “follow this six week approach: In the first three weeks, expect mental and emotional changes – more energy or a confidence boost. Expect to start seeing a slightly slimmer, tighter body after three weeks.”

2. Find what motivates you, and keep it under your nose. Do you get discouraged when you hear comediennes like Rita Rudner say, “I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.”? It’s true that it’s easier to NOT eat food than to eat it and burn off the calories you consumed, but don’t let that stop you from working out. Keep inspirational quotations or motivational sayings in your workout clothes, taped to your mirror, and on your computer monitor. To avoid becoming blind to them, move them around or replace old motivational sayings with new ones. Highlight strong, successful, athletic women like Venus and Serena Williams!

3. Put your workout gear on first thing in the morning. If you work from home (like me!), you may have an advantage when it comes to healthy weight loss. As soon as I get up in the morning, I put on my workout gear. Since I can “go to work” in whatever clothes I want, and I’ve found that putting on my workout clothes first thing solidifies my goal to exercise. If you can wear your workout clothes under your work clothes, you may find yourself one step closer to losing weight and keeping the pounds off.

4. Sleep in your workout clothes. Check this tip out – it’s from Barb Gormley, the owner of Custom-Fit Personal Training in Toronto. “Sounds crazy, but in winter, I wear my sports bra and workout T-shirt to bed so it’s super-easy to get out the door on cold dark mornings.” That’s like me, putting on my workout clothes as soon as I wake up! But, I don’t work out until 11 am or 4 pm, depending on how the day’s going.

5. Don’t exercise forever – exercise better. You can get a great workout in just 10 minutes! Instead of an hour-long workout with exercises or reps that isolate one body part at a time, try five or six exercises that target multiple muscles. Pilates is a great way to do compound movements, which is a healthy way to lose weight. The 10 Minute Solution Rapid Results Pilates are one of my favorite ways to exercise. Pilates – and these particular exercise DVDs are brilliant because they use your whole body in the workout.

6. Factor in your personality traits. Are you an introvert? (take this test for introverted personality traits to find out!) Introverts may not enjoy working out with groups of people, and may lean towards solo running, biking, or swimming. On the other hand, extroverts prefer intense workouts with groups of people, and are prone to exercising fairly often. Scientist Amy Hagan said, “These excitement-craving people love lots of activity, and want to go, go, go.” Extroverts also prefer to listen to music while exercising. To lose weight in a healthy way, be aware of your personality traits. 

One last  quotation from Rita Rudner:

“Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.”

Wouldn’t it be great if women were this confident? We need more exposure to women like Whoopi Goldberg, Eleanor Roosevelt, Judge Marilyn Milian, and Queen Latifah!

If you have any thoughts or questions on these steps to healthy weight loss, I welcome you below…

Source of quotations: “Resolve to Tone Up,” Best Health Magazine, February, 2009.

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First, a warning from Erma Bombeck:

“Marriage has no guarantees,” she said. “If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”

One guarantee is that your marriage will change over time – and sometimes it’ll be less healthy than others. Healthy couples get mad at each other – and because of that, they may live longer. Healthy couples seek hidden treasures, choose green battles, and let their individualities strengthen the marriage as a whole. Here are five simple habits for healthy marriages; for more in-depth tips, click The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert.

5 Habits of a Healthy Marriage – Erma Bombeck

“Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving,” says Bombeck. That’s not one gift you want to give your spouse – guilt is definitely not a habit of a healthy couple! But these are…

1. Learn to express anger, hurt, or frustration. An important part of married life is conflict resolution – and most couples aren’t trained to do this, says Ernest Harburg, professor emeritus at the University of Michigan. His research reveals that couples who suppress anger are twice as likely to face early death as those who express it. Getting mad without hurting your spouse is a healthy marriage habit that can improve your physical and emotional health. Related to this is your retaining a sense of personal identity when you’re in love.

2. Pick your green battles. Joining forces to affect your environment not only gives you a common goal and unites you as married couple, it’s good for the planet too. Choose an eco-battle together, such as adopting a nearby park and doing a weekly “garbage march.” Or plant a garden at home or in the community, focusing on organic fruits and veggies. Learn how to compost, and lighten the load in the landfills. Once your new behavior becomes a habit for your marriage, you can add another healthy habit – and soon you’ll be the greenest couple on the block!

3. End the day talking about your highs and lows. Make it a point to discuss the ups and downs in your marriage, family, and individual lives, and to look for the good in the bad. “During dinner we talk about what we enjoyed best and least that day,” says Tanya, a mother of three on Bowen Island, BC. “It’s a great way for our kids to listen to each other’s stories and problems, help find solutions, understand that we all experience ups and downs, relate to each other, laugh, and illustrate that life is like a rollercoaster.”

4. Make it a habit to volunteer as a married couple or family. “Contributing as a family not only helps [others], but it also strengthens the contributing family in the process,” writes Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. “Can you imagine the bonding, the sense of fulfillment, the sense of shared joy?” Volunteer opportunities include helping out annually at a camp for disabled kids, serving monthly at a food bank, or walking dogs weekly at an animal shelter.

5. Take risks and seek hidden treasure. A great habit for healthy marriages is trying new things together, such as juggling, geocaching for treasures, or making sushi. Psychology professor Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado explains why happiness is found in your life experiences (not your possessions). Experiences are open to positive reinterpretations, become a meaningful part of your identity, and contribute to successful relationships. When you experience something as a married couple – such as learning something new together – you build memories that you can reminisce and laugh about later. Those experiences unite you and become part of who you are as a married couple.

A final quotation about marriage from Erma Bombeck:

“People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife,” said Erma Bombeck. “The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.” If you’re still in the market for a good husband, you might find How to Find a Good Boyfriend Who Will Be a Loving Husband helpful!

What makes your marriage healthy? If you have any tips, I welcome you below!

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I have some breakup advice for her – but first, a quotation from a funny woman!

“I love to shop after a bad relationship,” says comedienne Rita Rudner. “I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.”

I’m not a huge shopper (I despise shopping, in fact), but I can get behind Rudner’s breakup advice! It’s all about “self-soothing”, which I describe below. If you need help getting over a breakup, click on It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy. And, read on to learn how to stop feeling depressed when you’re letting go of someone you love…

How to Stop Feeling Depressed About a Relationship Breakup – Rita Rudner

Remind yourself that the breakup happened for a reason. No matter how you feel right now – trust me, I know how devastating it is to lose someone you love – the relationship was not working. To stop feeling depressed, stay focused on the fact that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. For whatever reason, you and he weren’t a good match. For more help, read Overcoming an Unexpected Relationship Breakup – Eleanor Roosevelt.

Learn the difference between mourning and wallowing. The first few months after a breakup are the worst. Allow yourself to mourn your loss, but don’t let yourself wallow in depression because the relationship didn’t work out. Mourning involves crying or expressing your feelings in writing, painting, creative dance, etc for some amount of time each day. Wallowing is talking about the relationship breakup endlessly, obsessing about it, and refusing to think beyond your current feelings.

Think about your role in the relationship and breakup. To stop feeling depressed, find ways to empower yourself! Empowering yourself is about taking control, about learning how you can be a better, smarter, healthier woman. So, think about the breakup. Be honest about your mistakes and foibles. You don’t need to change who you are; you just need to learn from your experiences.

Learn how to “self-sooth.” I found this term in a book about eating disorders, and it’s great breakup advice! Self-soothing addresses Rita Rudner’s quotation about shopping and relationship breakups: to stop feeling depressed, do things that make you feel better. Avoid unhealthy habits such as spending too much money, overeating, or harming yourself. Self-soothing strategies come from inside yourself – not outside, like shopping (sorry, Rita Rudner! Your quotation about shopping and relationship breakups was funny). An example of self-soothing is to recall a time that you were happy, proud, and centered – perhaps after you made a mistake and moved on or accomplished something you were proud of.

Rebuild your personal identity. Take the breakup as an opportunity to figure out who you are. Many women lose their personal identities in relationships; now, you have a chance to get back in touch with your authentic self. What do you want out of life, who do you want to be, where do you want to go? You’re now free to answer all those questions; this breakup could open all sorts of doors for you.

I know I haven’t covered all the ways to stop feeling depressed after a relationship breakup! If you have suggestions – or questions – please comment below…

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“Great dreams…never even get out of the box,” says Bombeck. “It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.”

Having courage to overcome your own self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors is what the book Stop Self-Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve by Pat Pearson. Click the cover for details, and read on for ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat…

4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Self-Defeat – Erma Bombeck

1. Accept conflict, disagreements, confrontation as normal. Sometimes women sabotage themselves because they’re afraid of the conflict that results when they stand up for what they want and think. Women can be afraid of letting go of other people’s expectations. And, sometimes women are afraid of the labels that come with doing what they want in life (“selfish”, “controlling”, “iron lady”, etc). To stop the self-defeat and self-sabotage, we have to accept the fact that sometimes we do things that don’t please other people. We have to act out of passion – not fear of conflict.

2. Reexamine the self-beliefs that limit and control. What do you believe about yourself that isn’t true? For instance, women who believe they don’t deserve to be in healthy relationships will act in ways that sabotage or defeat good relationships. Women who believe they’re unattractive or worthless will sabotage their own attempts to lose weight or take care of themselves. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat — and increase motivation – we need to stop believing things about ourselves that aren’t true.

3. Stop taking responsibility for others’ dreams and goals. Is it self-sabotaging or self-defeating to put your life on hold, so your partner or kids can pursue their dreams or goals? I can’t answer that – every situation, every woman, every motivation is different. But, women seem to take responsibility to help other people achieve their goals and dreams at the expense of their own. Women can put their goals or dreams on hold while they help the boss build his or her business, or because their volunteer work for the church or community is too demanding. To stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, we need to let others be responsible for achieving their goals…and we need to achieve our own.

4. Identify the “busy work” – and stop it! This is how I sabotage myself: I spend too much time on things at work that don’t matter. For instance, checking my blog stats every hour or two – or checking my e-mail often – is not only a waste of time, it’s self-defeating (if my blog stats are good, then I feel like taking a break! If they’re bad, I’m too depressed to work (excuse the exaggeration for effect)). To stop self-defeating behaviors, we need to cut out the activities and thought patterns that don’t matter. To stop sabotaging ourselves, we need to put the time and energy we have towards things that actually make a difference.

One last thought from Erma Bombeck:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,” says Bombeck, “I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything You gave me.’”

Are you using everything you have — are you living up to your own potential? For more motivation to achieve your goals, read 5 Strategies for Life Success – Alanis Morissette.

If you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to stop self-sabotage and self-defeat, please comment below…

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“The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.” – Paula Poundstone.

Same with my dog, actually.

One of the funniest women on the planet is Tina Fey. If you haven’t read Bossypants yet, check it out. It’s both funny and filled with interesting insights into show business.

Funny Quotes and Sayings by Women

“Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn’t throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.” – Paula Poundstone.

On Achievement:

“We should pass a new law. Nobody can get famous just by sleeping with a celebrity and getting naked in a magazine. You have to make a contribution to society first. You can still be in Playboy, you just have to do something worthwhile beforehand. ‘I’ve developed a vaccine, and I’d like to show you my breasts.’ Go ahead, you’ve earned it.” – Elayne Boosler.

“I’m lazy. At work my favorite part of the day is being on hold.” – Janet Rosen.

On Housework:

“Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum. ‘My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot b**ch!’” – Joan Rivers.

“I do clean up a little. If company is coming, I’ll wipe the lipstick off the milk container.” – Elayne Boosler.

On Confidence:

“You get more confident when you’re married. When you’re single and you don’t hear from your boyfriend, you wonder, ‘Should I call him?’ When you’re married and you don’t hear from your husband, you wonder what you should call him.” – Rita Rudner.

On Cooking:

“I’ve been so busy, I don’t even have time to cook for my kids. I don’t wanna say we eat out a lot, but I’ve noticed that lately when I call my kids for dinner, they run to the car.” – Julie Kidd.

“Men are very strange. When they wake up in the morning they want things like toast. I don’t have those recipes.” – Elayne Boosler.

On Men:

“My mom always said, ‘Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years.’” – Brett Butler.

“I’m at a point where I want a man in my life, but not in my house. Just come in, attach the VCR, and get out.” – Joy Behar.

On Money:

“I saw a truck today. Side of the door it said, “Driver has no cash.” I’m broke, too – but I don’t plaster it all over the side of my car.” – Margaret Smith.

“I got my first full-time job, but it’s weird. I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.” – Melanie Reno.

And a final quote from Paula Poundstone:

“My mom is one of those really angry moms who gets mad at absolutely everything. Once when I was a little kid, I accidentally knocked a Flintstones glass off the kitchen table. She said, ‘Well, dammit, we can’t have nice things.’”

If you have any funny quotes or sayings by women to add, please share below!

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