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5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:12:07 +0000

Ladies, are you living up to your own expectations of your life — your hopes and dreams, plans and goals? These five ways to get the most out of your life are based on Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s life, words, and reasons for being. She’s all about being authentic, taking risks, and trusting your inner voice.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali wrote Infidel, a memoir describing her traditional Muslim childhood in Somalia, Saudi Arabia, and Kenya (where I lived for three years…I’ve been to the streets and neighborhoods she described!). Ali survived a variety of situations that many women could not bounce back from…and neither has she, really.

Ali broke away from dutiful obedience and spoke out against traditional cultural values. Trusting her inner voice, she questioned her family’s faith, her own belief system, and how women were treated in Muslim families. Ali became a Dutch politician and influenced that country’s and legal system.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali found her true identity — her authentic self — because she trusted her inner voice.

She now lives in hiding. Read her book to learn more — her life is fascinating — and read on for five ways to get the most out of your own life…

5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

1. Listen to your instincts. Put other people’s expectations and opinions aside. What do you think, feel, and want? Part of finding your true identity and trusting your inner voice is letting go of the question “What will people think?” Getting older helps with accepting that people may not think what you want them to think…and letting that go. Becoming a strong woman involves tuning into your instincts and living the life you want – like Ayaan Hirsi Ali did.

2. Stay connected to your dreams and goals. You have responsibilities, duties, expectations, and life to deal with, which makes it more difficult to stay focused on who you really are and what you really want out of life. But, to start pursuing your dreams right now, you need only picturing yourself where you want to be in a year, or five years. Visualization is an effective way to get what you want out of life because it helps you learn to trust your inner voice and get started on the path to success.

3. Express your authentic emotions. If you feel angry, get your anger out – without burying your feelings in chocolate ice cream, cigarettes, wine, or frenzied activity. If you’re sad, cry or write in your journal or pray instead of shopping or watching TV. Staying in touch with your true emotions is hard (and expressing them can be even harder), but it’s a great way to make the most of your life!

4. Choose your activities carefully. Instead of participating in activities you feel lukewarm about or outright don’t wanna do, learn to say no without feeling guilty or ashamed. Limit your activities to things that represent who you are and what you believe in. When you choose what you really want to do, you’ll discover who you really are. Maybe you’ll be viewed as an infidel — but that may actually be the highest compliment you’ll ever receive! There are worse things to be compared to than strong women like Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

5. Take risks. To find your true self and live the life of your dreams, challenge yourself to try new things. Reach out to people. Let yourself be vulnerable and don’t be afraid to make waves. Trust your inner voice when it comes to taking risks, especially when you’re afraid, and find creative solutions to your problems. Being an authentic woman involves risks – there’s no doubt about it. But “if there aren’t any dragons, it’s not an adventure worth telling,” says Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Let Ayaan Hirsi Ali inspire you to get the most out of your life – and to be grateful for the life you have.

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7 Signs of Inner Peace – The Peace Pilgrim

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 03:23:13 +0000

Part of being a strong, successful woman is being peaceful and “flow-y” with life. These signs of inner peace are also ways to find inner peace; they’re from a woman called Peace Pilgrim and a book called You’ll See It When You Believe It by Wayne Dyer.

“You have endless energy only when you are working for the good of the whole – you have to stop working for your little selfish interests,” says the Peace Pilgrim. “That’s the secret of it. In this world you are given as you give.”

Do you want the endless energy, optimism, and peace that she had? It can be yours – it just requires a little focus and effort! Click Peace Pilgrim’s Wisdom: A Very Simple Guide for more info, and read on for signs of inner peace.

How to Find Inner Peace – 7 Signs of Peaceful Women

A peaceful woman has no interest in interpreting the actions of others. This is my favorite way to find inner peace: let go of the need to decipher what others meant when they did this or said that. I also need to practice letting go of the need to ruminate on what I said to others, and what they think of me. Letting go of the habit of interpreting others’ actions can help stop self-sabotage and self-defeat.

A peaceful woman has lost the ability to worry. Worrying about the future and things we can’t control isn’t peaceful for us, or those around us. Why worry about things we can’t control? Why not take control over the things we can control?

A peaceful woman can enjoy every moment in life – even the difficult ones. A key to developing inner peace is to learn to flow with events and people instead of fighting them. Flowing with even the most difficult moments in life involves not taking things so seriously, letting go of critical or negative thoughts, accepting that there is no one right way for life to unfold, and believing in yourself as a creative, strong woman.

A peaceful woman has lost interest in conflict with others. Do you know someone who lights to pick fights, or who sees flaws and weaknesses everywhere? Are you that woman? Instead of finding fault, practice seeing things and people without judging them.

A peaceful woman feels connected to others and nature. The more love you give and receive, the more connected you feel…and the more inner peace you’ll enjoy. To connect with others, initiate heart-to-heart conversations. Ask people what they think and how they feel – and listen to their answers. Spend time in nature, even if it’s in the arboretum in your office building at lunch!

A peaceful woman smiles often – both with her lips and with her eyes. Ashley Turner is my yoga instructor on DVD (Yoga for Weight Loss – I love it!), and she says to “smile with your eyes” during certain poses. Now I smile with my eyes even when I’m not doing yoga…because it brightens my face and makes me feel happy. You don’t need to put on a huge monkey grin to find inner peace…you need only smile with your eyes (and your lips sometimes, too!).

A peaceful woman acts spontaneously, and isn’t paralyzed by fears from the past. I love this tip for finding inner peace: don’t let the past stop you from being authentic and real right now. Dr Wayne Dyer calls your past “the wake”, and says it can’t pull you forward…it can only hold you back. Of course you need to deal with problems from your past, but you can’t let those problems paralyze you.

“There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you,” says The Peace Pilgrim. “That criterion is, Have they brought you inner peace? If they have not, there is something wrong with them…so keep trying.”

How do you find inner peace, and do you know any peaceful women? I welcome your thoughts below!

Source: Wayne Dyer’s You’ll See It When You Believe It: The Way to Your Personal Transformation.

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Living With Diabetes for Women – Mary Tyler Moore

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 18:54:47 +0000

These six tips for living with diabetes, a chronic illness that affects almost every part of a woman’s body, are inspired by Mary Tyler Moore’s experience. She was diagnosed with diabetes thirty years ago, and says that learning to live with this disease is a process – not a one-time event.

“When I speak to those who are newly diagnosed, I encourage them to work with what they have – not against those things,” says Mary Tyler Moore. “You have to give up in order to find acceptance. Moreover, you truly have to make the very best of what you’ve got. We all do.”

I’ve gathered several tips for living with diabetes, and sprinkled them with inspiration from Moore. To learn more about her experience with the disease, click her memoir Growing Up Again: Life, Loves, and Oh Yeah, Diabetes.

6 Tips for Living With Diabetes for Women – Mary Tyler Moore

1. Say a holy “yes” to your life as it exists. I’ve written about ulcerative colitis, using inspiration from Natalie Goldberg. She encourages us to accept life as it is – not how we wish it was. Moore is saying something similar: don’t rail against or fight your illness. Rather, accept and make the best of it. If you’re coping with a chronic illness, you need to embrace that it’s part of who you are…and fighting it means fighting yourself.

2. Learn about living with diabetes. Do you have Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes? Do you need to take insulin daily, or will diet and lifestyle control it? Who in your family has diabetes? How do other women manage it? The more you know about diabetes, the better you’ll be able to manage it. Learn what treatments you need to take and what body parts to check daily.

3. Keep doing what you need to do. Ulcerative colitis is a disease of the intestines, and I’ve had to learn several things about my body in order to treat and control it. Since most of these things involve my guts and bottom, they’re definitely not pretty…and it’s been hard. But, I do what I need to do to stay in remission – and if you have diabetes, you need to adopt the same attitude. “You have to accept this disease and adopt the necessary disciplines,” Moore says. “Otherwise, it will start nibbling away at your very being with things like blindness, amputations, and the like. If you don’t control diabetes it will control you.”

4. Learn what affects diabetes. Since diabetes affects so many parts of a woman’s body, it’s important to know what affects it. How does your diet, exercise, lifestyle, and habits affect the progression of this disease? Learn how smoking, alcohol, and over-the-counter medications affect the disease – and avoid things that trigger spikes. Take your prescribed medications faithfully, and follow your doctor’s advice.

5. Monitor the important levels. Women with diabetes need to watch their blood glucose, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. It’s easier and quicker to check these levels now than it was in the past, and many readings can be checked at home or even on the road.

6. Focus the positive parts of having diabetes. Believe it or not, there is an upside to this disease! Mary Tyler Moore says this about kids with diabetes: “I have great fondness and respect for these kids who, at a very early age, have critical responsibility for handling insulin. Because of the enormous responsibility, diabetic kids tend to grow up to be the most mature, most realistic people who have a natural desire to reach outside of themselves.” These benefits of diabetes are possible for women, too – if they’re willing to see them.

Diabetes doesn’t have to stop you from getting what you want out of life! You can still live up to your own wildest dreams…and even surpass them.

Are you a woman living with diabetes, and can you relate to Mary Tyler Moore’s perspective on this disease? I welcome your thoughts below…

Source of Mary Tyler Moore’s quotations: Success Magazine.com, Mary Tyler Moore: Making a Difference in the Fight Against Type 1 Diabetes.

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5 Ways to Help a Friend With Breast Cancer – Suzanne Somers

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:03:39 +0000

If your friend has breast cancer (like one of my closest friends), here are five ways to help, support, and love her through this dreadful illness. When my friend was diagnosed, I started exploring Suzanne Somers’ experience with breast cancer, as well as her dedication to finding ways to cure and prevent cancer in the first place.

Somers is an inspirational, courageous woman…

“I continue to put myself out there as a dart board for the medical community,” she says, “Their “darts” are sharp…I am not a doctor, but I happen to have access to some of the most incredible medical minds in the world–and I print their opinions to make sure they are heard.”

To learn about her research into cures and preventions for breast cancer, click Knockout: Interviews with Doctors Who Are Curing Cancer–And How to Prevent Getting It in the First Place by Suzanne Somers. And, read on for several ways to help a friend cope with breast cancer – or any chronic illness, such as multiple sclerosis or ALS…

5 Ways to Help a Friend With Breast Cancer – Suzanne Somers

1. Call, visit, and send emails regularly. I live a full day’s drive from my friend, who was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago (she found a lump in her breast and immediately went for a mammogram, which confirmed breast cancer). I can’t visit her in person regularly, but I call and email her every few days….and I’ll be staying with her shortly after her lumpectomy (which could become a mastectomy). Thankfully, her family members will be with her for the surgery and recovery period.

2. Get “practically” helpful. If you live near your friend, you could help by picking her kids up from school, bringing over a basket of fresh fruit and nuts, or even hiring a cleaner for a surprise housecleaning! I didn’t realize how time and energy-consuming an illness like breast cancer was…and I know the little practical things are incredibly helpful. Another possible way to help is to give her books on ways to prevent and fight cancer and heal from breast cancer surgery.

3. Accept that there isn’t one “right” thing to say. It’s difficult to help a friend with breast cancer when you don’t know what to say! It definitely made it more difficult for me to call my friend, because I didn’t want to keep asking her how she’s feeling or what she’s doing. But, once I accepted that there’s nothing I can say to make things better, I realized that just calling and chatting was helpful.

4. Keep reminding her that she is fabulous! I love this quotation from Suzanne Somers: “We all have creativity in us and we all are multi-dimensional…women are fabulous. We can handle a lot of things.” Telling your friend that she’s beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, creative – and that she can handle this just like she’s handled the other challenges she’s faced – may help her cope with breast cancer. She may be scared or worried about how she’ll look after the lumpectomy or mastectomy, and being told how fabulous she is could help her mindset and emotions.

5. Do a little research on breast cancer for your friend. “Each time I am faced with a challenge, I researched the problems in order to overcome the adversity,” says Somers about her struggles with breast cancer, family alcoholism, and weight gain. “At the end of each search, when I had found my own answers, I felt I had something to share and thought others might benefit from the work I had done for myself.” If you think your friend would benefit from learning about breast cancer and perhaps doesn’t have the time or energy to do the research herself, perhaps you could help her that way.

Olivia Newton-John also survived breast cancer – and her take on it is especially interesting because she asked herself if she created her own cancer to face her fears. Do you think we can create our own diseases?

Have you ever had a friend diagnosed with breast cancer – and how have you helped her? I welcome your suggestions and thoughts below…

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6 Ways to Retain a Sense of Self When You’re in Love – Susan B. Anthony

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:07:24 +0000

The danger of falling in love is that it can erode a woman’s personal identity and independence. Here, with inspiration from Susan B. Anthony, are several ways to retain your sense of self – whether you’ve been married for 20 years or are just starting a new romantic relationship.

Susan B. Anthony changed women’s liberation in 19^th century North America, and was largely responsible for achieving women’s suffrage and voting rights.

“Independence is happiness,” she said.

Actually, I think interdependence is happiness: a healthy balance of being needed and needing people. If you’re totally independent, you’re not uniting or bonding with anyone – you’re all alone. For more info about the tension between independence and interdependence, click Know Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence. And, read on for several ways to keep your personal identity intact when you’re in love…

Retaining a Sense of Self When You’re in Love – Susan B. Anthony

Take professional and personal risks. “Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform,” said Susan B. Anthony. “Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation.” You may not be reforming women’s voting rights, but you’re reforming your world when you stay independent as a woman and cultivate healthy interdependence! Independence involves taking risks and learning what you can and can’t do. The more risks you take in your career and personal life, the more you’ll learn about yourself and others…and the stronger your sense of self will be.

Stay financially solvent. There’s nothing more crippling than having no money (besides struggling with poor health or a chronic illness). Without money, your choices are limited and your independence is compromised. If you’re married, keep a separate bank account and build your own little nest egg. Make sure your assets as a couple are in your name as well as his – and keep your eye on the bills and outgoing expenses.

Embrace your age! “The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world,” said Susan B. Anthony. “I am like a snowball – the further I am rolled the more I gain.” I love this quotation – Anthony was a successful woman who changed the world. She recognized that her age was a benefit, a strength, not something to hide or be ashamed of.

Stay physically healthy. Exercise and eating foods to sustain good health isn’t just about weight loss and better health. Staying fit increases self-esteem, strength, self-confidence, and independence for women. When you’re physically fit, you feel better about yourself – and you have a stronger sense of self.

Stay emotionally healthy. What books, people, events, Web sites, or things help you feel connected to yourself? For instance, I love Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance – just opening that book up to a random page makes me feel more focused and in touch with who I am as a woman. When you’re in love – especially in a new romantic relationship – make sure you’re not succumbing to unhealthy fears, insecurities, or anxieties.

Have a life outside your marriage or love relationship. Who are you, apart from being a girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc? What do you love to do? To stay independent as a woman, take time to do things apart from your boyfriend or husband. Stay in touch with your personal identity by tuning in to who you are as woman, not just as a partner.

If you’re new to the dating game, read How to Find a Good Boyfriend Who Will Be a Loving Husband.

And if you have any thoughts or questions about retaining a sense of self when you’re in love, please comment below!

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Overcoming an Unexpected Relationship Breakup – Eleanor Roosevelt

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:33:27 +0000

The end of a relationship is especially difficult to overcome when you don’t know for sure why it ended! These ways to overcome an unexpected relationship breakup are based on a reader’s question on 10 Tips for Surviving a Breakup. These tips aren’t just for the end of romantic relationships – they include the end of friendships, too.

Here’s what Eleanor Roosevelt said about friendship:

“Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”

When you’re healing from a relationship breakup, one of the most important things to do is not take it personally and stay friends with yourself – especially if the breakup was unexpected! For more relationship advice, click on Extreme Breakup Recovery by Jeanette Castelli. And, read on for my ways to overcome an unexpected relationship breakup…

Ways to Overcome an Unexpected Relationship Breakup – Eleanor Roosevelt

Don’t take the breakup personally. The reason for the relationship breakup could have nothing to do with you! Maybe something happened in your friend or partner’s life that requires distance, such as depression, physical illness, or unresolved emotional issues. It’s important to remember that he or she has a whole inner life that you may not be privy to. Don’t berate yourself for the breakup, or over what you did or didn’t do.

Let go of feelings of unworthiness and inferiority. This is a deeper exploration of “don’t take things personally”: don’t let the unexpected breakup destroy your self-confidence or self-esteem. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” said Roosevelt. Accept your hurt and confusion about the end of the relationship or friendship, but don’t let it make you feel unworthy or inferior.

Ask what happened. It’s acceptable and even healthy to ask romantic partners or friends for reasons behind the relationship breakup, especially if it was unexpected. Did you not live up to their expectations? Did you offend them, or were you insensitive in some way? If you’re wondering if you were a “bad” friend, you might find Are You a Toxic Friend – George Eliot helpful. But remember — an unexpected end of a friendship does not mean you’re a toxic or bad friend!

Accept that you may never know why it happened. Your friend or partner may not be able to express the reasons for the relationship breakup. Maybe he or she doesn’t know why the relationship can’t continue, or can’t express it properly. Or, perhaps he or she simply doesn’t want to talk about it. To overcome an unexpected relationship breakup, you have to accept a possible lack of closure.

Prime the “resilience” pump! How “bouncebackable” are you? Resiliency is a key to being a successful woman who can overcome relationship breakups and forge healthy new relationships. Everyone faces failures, setbacks, and obstacles in friendships and romantic relationships. Successful women just keep getting up and trying again, that’s all! For tips on bouncing back, read 5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling.

Choose to heal. The most effective way to overcome relationship breakup – besides letting time heal – is to make the choice to move on. The end of the friendship or relationship happened, and there may be nothing you can do about it. You need to choose to heal and overcome your feelings of loss, pain, and helplessness; it’s a choice you may need to make every day.

Soon, you’ll find your pain over the breakup to be less distracting or debilitating. You’ll remember the relationship, but won’t be as burdened by it.

One last quotation from Eleanor Roosevelt (not necessarily related to ending a relationship or friendship, but it’s a great thought!):

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway,” she said. “You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

What are your thoughts or questions on overcoming unexpected an relationship breakup? I welcome you below…

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The Definition of a Successful Woman – Eleanor Roosevelt

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Fri, 29 May 2009 22:55:44 +0000

The life lesson: what it means to be a successful woman can be narrowed down…but not defined? The successful woman: Eleanor Roosevelt.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” said Roosevelt – and that right there is a key definition of a successful woman! In this case, there’s no “one size fits all.”

Here are several possible ways to define a successful woman… if you want to go further, click on What Every Successful Woman Knows: 12 Breakthrough Strategies to Get the Power and Ignite Your Career by Janice Reals Ellig and Bill Morin.

The Definition of a Successful Woman – Eleanor Roosevelt

You may also like 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women!

External achievements. Does a PhD, MD, or LLB make you a successful woman? What about a house with an ocean view, or an apartment overlooking Central Park in New York City? Maybe getting a book published makes you successful, or raising healthy, happy children. Does achieving your goals make you a successful woman? (I say YES to that one, as the creator of “Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals” ).

Emotions and feelings. If you feel happy, fulfilled, and content with your life – does that mean you’re a successful woman? Sure! But what about perimenopausal or PMSing women? Their moods plummet and skyrocket at a moment’s notice, which may mean their self-identity or measure of success changes as their hormones fly. I think successful women feel fulfilled, but there’s more to success than feelings…

Physical and emotional health. I have ulcerative colitis and mild bouts of PMS every so often…does that mean I’m not successful? Are women who struggle with depression or cancer less successful? No – but women who stay physically fit and eat nutritious foods may live longer and healthier lives. So, I believe there is a connection between successful women and good health. Read Coping With Chronic Illness – Natalie Goldberg if you struggle with illness!

Treatment of others. It probably goes without saying that if you’re cruel, vindictive, or selfish then you’re probably not a successful woman…or are you? I know a smart businesswoman who has burned more bridges than she’s built – and her business is booming! Would she say she’s a successful woman? Yup. Would others say the same thing? Nope. Or maybe they’d say yes, but grudgingly.

What others say. Have you ever been complimented on your achievements, yet feel like they weren’t “all that”? Other people – like your mom – may gush about your life or actions, but that doesn’t mean you’re successful. For some women, admiration and respect means they’re successful. (Beware of the “seeking the approval of others” monster!).

Internal achievements (a strong self-identity). Back to Eleanor Roosevelt’s life lesson: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I think the best definition of a successful woman revolves around how she feels about and defines herself. It doesn’t matter what educations she has, whether she’s grouchy, what illness she struggles with, or what others say about her. For me, the definition of a successful woman is about how she feels about herself, and whether she’s living up to her own potential.

A successful woman marches to her own drummer…especially when it comes to defining whether or not she’s a success! Eleanor Roosevelt not only marched to her own drummer – she had her own orchestra. She was an advocate for working women as well as a prominent author, speaker, politician and activist. I’d say she was a successful woman. I wonder what she’d say?

What do you think of these definitions of successful women? I’d love to hear your thoughts – big and little – below!

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Lighten Up to Get More Done – Dr Estelle Ramey

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:36:31 +0000

The life lesson: you don’t have to be serious or grim to get more done and pursue your dreams! The successful woman: witty feminist Estelle Ramey, who was a Georgetown University endocrinologist and women’s libber (1917-2006).

“Men were designed for short, nasty, brutal lives,” said Ramey. “Women are designed for long, miserable ones.”

She was kidding, of course…wasn’t she? Women do live longer, and maybe we are more miserable. We’re certainly subject to the whims of PMS and perimenopause, and fits of jealousy and insecurity. We hold grudges and compare ourselves to other women (both successful and not). Are we miserable? More importantly: are YOU miserable?

Here are few facts about the late, great Dr Estelle Ramey, with a special emphasis on her wittiness, sense of humor, and ability to lighten heavy topics. Plus, how lightening up makes you more productive and effective! And, if you’re serious about lightening up, click on Simple Happiness: 52 Easy Ways to Lighten Up by James Ryan.

How to Lighten Up and Get More Done – Dr Estelle Ramey

My sister always told me, “Lighten up – don’t take everything so seriously!” The older I get, the more I agree with her. This life lesson of lightening up and getting more done is important because I’ve spent far too much time being grim. Life’s too short to be mad or bitter! Or jealousy — read Making Envy Work for You – Helen Gurley Brown.

Dr Estelle Ramey earned her master’s degree in chemistry at Columbia University in 1940 and a doctorate in physiology at the University of Chicago in 1950. Ramey was a teacher, speaker, researcher, and writer. One of the founders and the second president of the American Women in Science, Ramey wrote an article called “Men’s Cycles – They Have Them Too” for the first issue of Ms. magazine.

Definitely not your typical well-behaved woman!

Lightening Up and Achieving More

There’s nothing less healthy, less attractive, or less appealing than a woman with a grim face and stone cold sober personality. Lightening up reduces stress and draws people to you, which can help you get what you want out of life (if you learn to delegate and accept that people do things differently than you).

Whether you’re aggravated at your boss or disappointed in your partner, “grimming and bearing it” doesn’t help. I’ve gritted my teeth through work meetings, bad situations, and traffic jams – and in hindsight, I wish I would’ve lightened up because I had to experience it anyway.

Irritability or a grim attitude isn’t going to make the situation easier or more tolerable – so we might as well tap into our senses of humor, wit, and cheer. For an immediate laugh, read Funny Quotations and Sayings by Women – Paula Poundstone.

Lightening up helps you get more done by:

Making others feel more comfortable and relaxed – and more open to cooperating with you.
Keeping your stress levels low, so you can see new solutions and opportunities.
Making you appealing to be around, which means you’re less likely to be left shouldering the burden!
Keeping your thoughts clear and focused, so you can work more quickly and efficiently.
Making you more memorable to others…in a good way.

Developing a sense of lightness, wit, and humor is a habit that can take you further in your career and personal life!

One last quotation from Dr Ramey:

“Now, I like testosterone. Every home should have some,” she said. “But it becomes damaging as a man gets older. I’m trying to help men live longer, although I’m not sure all of them deserve it.” See how she is honest, light-hearted, and authentic? Now that’s a life lesson from a successful woman: how to be real and assertive.

Do you think women are more serious – grim, even – than men? I do, and I think it’s because we take on more responsibilities and burdens. By the way, Ramey said the female of every species is stronger in terms of stamina, longevity and performance under stress.

To learn more about this woman who wasn’t well-behaved, go to The Washington Post’s Estelle R. Ramey: Used Wit in Women’s Advocacy by Patricia Sullivan.

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Living Lavishly in Poverty – Wangari Maathai

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:56:14 +0000

The life lesson: you can live lavishly no matter how little money you earn or how tired, ill, or just plain crazy you feel. The woman who wasn’t well-behaved: Wangari Maathai.

How do we know Maathai wasn’t well-behaved? Listen to how her ex-husband describes her:

“…too educated, too strong, too successful, too stubborn, and too hard to control,” he said.

You gotta admire his honesty! Mr Wangari wanted a woman he could control – but you can’t control women who aren’t well-behaved. For Wangari Maathai’s biography, read Unbowed: A Memoir. And, here are her recent comments about Barack Obama and Kenya, two life lessons, and a dash from her past…

Living Lavishly in Poverty – Wangari Maathai

Wangari Maathai was the first woman in Africa to earn a PhD. She taught veterinary anatomy at the University of Nairobi, where she earned her doctorate. She also studied in Kansas, Pittsburgh, and Germany.

Maathai has won at least 20 international awards, prizes, and medals – from the Nobel Peace Prize in 2004 to the Woman of the Year Award in 1983. She’s received four honorary degrees and is featured on the United Nation’s Global Hall of Fame. Maathai has been named one of the 100 heroines of the world – she’s currently into environmental and sustainability issues in Africa.

Life lesson: it’s okay to be the way you are. “African women in general need to know that it’s OK for them to be the way they are – to see the way they are as a strength, and to be liberated from fear and from silence,” says Maathai.

That life lesson from this woman who wasn’t well-behaved woman isn’t just for African women…it’s for women all ’round the world. It’s okay to be the way you are.

Living lavishly in poverty. “Power in Africa is not about serving or working for the people,” said Maathai in a recent speech to Japan’s Prime Minister at the Fourth Tokyo International Conference on African Development in Yokohama. “It’s about acquiring wealth and living lavishly, even when surrounded by poverty.”

How do you live lavishly in poverty – whether you’re living in the slums of Nairobi or the spiritual wasteland of Vegas? You focus on the good you have, whether it’s a soul sister or a car that gets you from Point A to Point B. You stay connected to your spirit, dreams, and faith.

You chase your dreams with dogged determination, and realize that setbacks, obstacles, and delays are part of the journey.

Maathai’s comments about Barack Obama and Kenya. In a recent interview with The Daily Nation (April 12, 2009), Maathai said Obama can’t help Kenyans if they don’t help themselves.

This is another life lesson from this successful woman: nobody can help you if you don’t help yourself. Some Kenyans see Obama as “Father Christmas” – and Maathai says that’s a mistake.

Can you live lavishly in poverty? It’s definitely a matter of attitude, not circumstance! And by the way – money can weigh you down (though I’ve never felt the weight of too much money!).

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