10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah
The life lesson: to build self-confidence, stop acting the way you “should.” The successful woman: Queen Latifah, who is a perfect example of how to see Jane soar!
“I don’t act the way society dictates that a woman ‘should,’ writes Queen Latifah in Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman. “I am not dainty. I do not hold back my opinions. I don’t stay behind a man. I’m not here to live by somebody elses’ standards. I’m defining what a woman is for myself. Simply put, I am not interested in subscribing to what society has decided for half of humankind.”
Queen Latifah said this even before starting Jenny Craig’s weight loss program – and she’s been very clear that she’s not losing weight to society’s standards. Rather, she wants to be fit, healthy, and strong for herself — which is the best reason! Click on Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman to learn more about her, and read on for ten ways to build your self-confidence levels.
10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence – Queen Latifah
1. Accept that you might feel guilty when you say no – but say no anyway. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you fulfill everyone else’s expectations and behave the way society thinks you should. Instead, say “yes” only to the requests you can fulfill without depleting yourself, and separate others’ expectations from your own.
2. Make your appearance a part of who you are as a whole woman. You dishonor yourself when you dress for others and change your body to please your partner (wax, botox, hate your body, envy skinny models). Don’t compare yourself to others, especially images of air-brushed perfection. To build the self-confidence of Queen Latifah, remind yourself that you are MORE than your appearance!
3. Plan small steps that move you towards your dreams and goals. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you: Clean the house, garden, ferry kids to soccer practice, paint the deck, cook meals, darn the socks when you need to take care of yourself. Stop wishing, and start acting in ways that move you forward.
4. Own your career. Think of yourself as an entrepreneur, even if you work for someone else. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you: don’t speak up at meetings, accept extra work even though you’re overloaded, let others take credit, don’t consider pursuing the education or job that you’re passionate about, or let colleagues destroy your self concept and self esteem. To build your self-confidence, focus on your career as if you were an entrepreneur.
5. Avoid soul-deadening activities. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you participate in activities you feel lukewarm about or outright hate, go to places that make you feel uncomfortable, or act like a martyr. Instead, tune in to your spirit through mediation, prayer, and time for yourself.
6. Take control of your health issues. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you ignore your physical problems and let your doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor totally control your prescriptions, diagnoses, and schedule. Instead of hoping that they know what they’re doing, you can build self-confidence by taking charge of your health.
7. Know what you really think – even if you choose not to voice it. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you swallow your opinions, ignore your ideas, and stifle your creativity. To build the self-confidence of Queen Latifah, express yourself through writing, painting, creating, producing, etc.
8. Learn why you’re overeating, overspending, overcriticizing. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you bury your feelings in chocolate ice cream, heroin, cigarettes, wine, excessive activity. Stop immersing yourself in shopping, watching TV, gossiping, and extreme busyness! Instead, face your feelings head-on. Face what you’re afraid to know.
9. Pick friends who support, honor, and love you. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you spend time with people who criticize, condemn, or deplete you. Instead of letting your family, friends or society dictate who you are, build your self-confidence by tuning into what you really think and feel.
10. Define what “taking risks” means to you – and take a little one every day. You dishonor your body, mind and spirit when you don’t trust yourself, don’t reach out to others, don’t be vulnerable, and above all don’t make waves. Take a small risk every day, whether that’s saying hi to your postal carrier or saying no to your mom!
My new favorite saying is: “To get something you’ve never had, do something you’ve never done.”
How do you build your self-confidence levels? Please comment below – I’d love to hear from you.
Related posts:
This blog is really inspiring..
Thanks for commenting — I agree that building self-confidence comes from knowing who you are and what you are about. But sometimes forces that seem more powerful than ourselves can squelch our ideas of who and what we are!
.-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..Establish Good Financial Habits – 6 Ways to Make Money Saving Tips Stick =-.
Nice post
When you know who you are and what you are about you will get confidence. It’s not easy to always know what our opinion is but I like what you said “don’t allways have to say it”
Thank’s
.-= Get Confidence´s last blog post..To get confidence in business =-.
She is really excellent when she talks about sensible stuff like self-confidence. I love her Queen Latifah!
Thanks for taking the time to comment! I like your tip for building self-confidence — it takes time and practice to clean those negative thoughts out, but it’s worth it. I love the idea of using an actor’s voice to encourage yourself…and there’s nobody like Queen Latifah to build your self-confidence
Nice one
I use to think about my inner dialogue and analyze what I say to myself. The stuff that’s not encouraging I use to put a silly voice to to teach myself not to do it. Even if I have to repeat it I “say” it again with the ridicoulus voice. After a while you clean those negative thoughts/voices out. Same thing for encouraging thought I repeat with a voice I really like. Can be from an actor you like or somebody you know.
Thank’s for a good post
great tips for gaining self confidence!!!!
.-= self esteem´s last blog post..Home =-.
Thanks for your thoughts, Uma.
I also think that building self-confidence is full of “starts and stops.” That is, sometimes we’re happily full of self-confidence and self-esteem…and sometimes we’re down on ourselves, our bodies, our relationships, our jobs.
To have good self-confidence, I think we need to recognized that ups and downs in self-confidence are normal.
If you have more ways to build self-confidence, I’d love to hear them!
Laurie
.-= Laurie PK´s last blog post..Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman =-.
Hi Laurie,
I taught an evening class on building self-confidence for five years, and the most important way to improve your confidence is to take risks and try new things. Even if you fail at your attempt, you still become stronger and more self-confident.
Also building self-confidence takes years. It doesn’t happen overnight.
Thanks for the Queen Latifah spin!
Uma
Thanks, Sophie — I’m glad you stopped in, and I hope to see more of you here! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Laurie
.-= Laurie PK´s last blog post..Ideas for Halloween Theme Parties =-.
I love this site, i learned something about it. i need to review my self on my weakness side and have confident to face what i need to.
Thanks so much..its helpful tips.
Self-acceptance is knowing who you are and who you are not, then appreciating the beauty of your abilities and limitations. Self-confidence is loving yourself despite what others may or may not be thinking about you.
And when we take on activities and duties that we don’t really want, we feel resentful and bitter…which eventually kills our spirit and soul!
The trick is learning not to be a people pleaser, and not to do things just because you “should.” And, learning to be honest and open about how you feel. This is much easier said than done!
Thanks for your comment, Brad.
I love #5… People should remember that old saying, “garbage in, garbage out”. It’s important to control your own inputs and to avoid those things that really bug us. I’m not talking about real responsibilities, of course, but the more “optional” situations we find ourselves in even though we don’t really want to be there.
Good tips! I agree with them.