But, I don’t think it’s a habit I’ll develop in the long-term. I can see how it could be cool for some women — and even some highly successful women — but not me.

If it works for you, then shop on, my friend!

Laurie
.-= Laurie PK´s last blog post..How Not to Lose Your Personal Identity in a Romantic Relationship =-.

I think my 3rd habit of a successful woman stems from talking to and reading about women who have defined themselves as a wife and mother for so long, they no longer know who they are anymore (apart from those roles).

Maybe this is a better way to say it: look at the roles you’ve carried for years – whether it’s being a mom, writer, church deacon, brunette, lawyer, or gardener – and ask if that’s still who you are. Sometimes we outgrow our roles – or our roles outgrow us – and yet we still define ourselves in that particular way.

The reason I used wife and mother in my example is because those are roles that DO change after the kids leave the nest, or even after they go to school full-time. But that doesn’t happen the same way in other roles, such as writer, gardener, lawyer, or even brunette! They tend to be fairly stable, though of course we can outgrown any of those roles.

Regarding the labels and attributes, Sandra — have you read my post called The Definition of a Successful Woman – Eleanor Roosevelt”? http://theadventurouswriter.com/soar/the-definition-of-a-successful-woman-eleanor-roosevelt/

I’m curious if that clears things up or muddies the waters

Thanks for your questions and feedback! I really appreciate your input here.

Laurie

“3. Connect with who you are. Being a daughter, wife, or mother is one aspect of your life. It doesn’t define who you are as a woman. To connect with who you are, find and express your authentic self. The more authentic you are, the more appealing you’ll be to others – and to yourself!”

I find this confusing. Describe your authentic self without using such adjectives or titles. If I say, “I’m a writer.” is that any different than saying, “I’m a mother.”? If I say that I’m loving, is that any less a label?

What is an “authentic self”? Can a person spend so much time and effort looking to connect with their authentic self that they lose the life they should be living?

I can see this for some one who is completely living a lie and hates their life. (I have a friend on a blog who hates her current life.) But I think most of us live pretty close to our authentic selves. Even if we don’t love our job, I think most of us do enough things we do love that it is not unbearable.

What does define me as a woman if not such labels and attributes such as wife, mother, writer, friendly, caring, etc.?

What do you think, Laurie?
Sandra

To me, the definition of “successful woman” doesn’t have anything to do with her daily activities, job, marital status, income, number of kids, or any objective measure. It’s how she feels about her life that matters most — is she achieving her goals? Doing what she loves? Living fully? Using her skills and talents?

Is she happy with her life?

A successful career and high income could mean success to one woman — and a stay at home mom with 3 kids could mean success to another. I guess each woman gets to figure out what it means to be successful for herself, and strive towards it. The other tihng is — a woman’s definition of success could change at different times in her life.

I think I should write a post about this…it’s such a gorgeous question.

Go well, and come back even better
Laurie

Imagine a woman stay at home, have wonderful husband, 3 kids and the entire day she is cooking, ironing, washing etc. She don’t have a huge amount of money but she is also successful because of the education, cares and good breeding of her chidren… this lady is also successful !