By: Ben

Ben — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 20:11:01 +0000

Things are improving now. I moved to our third bedroom last thursday after she asked if I thought a separation would help us get along better. Two days later she asked me to come back to OUR room, said she didn’t like me not sleeping with her and it didn’t feel right. So after we discussed and a couple more nights of me sleeping down the hall, i moved back to OUR bedroom. She initiated physical intimacy twice this past weekend and showed signs of emotional intimacy as well. She complimented me for the first time in years the other day, and I didn’t even recognize it until hours later when I finally realized it had happened. I guess I need to be cautiously optimistic over the next few weeks/months to see how things go from here. Your articles helped me tremendously to be able to get myself together while supporting her and her wishes at the same time. I think the key so far has been to let her make her own decisions, to not crowd her and give her some space, and to take care of myself while letting her know how i still feel on occasion. I’m still hopeful that things will continue to improve and she’ll go talk to a counselor and realize that she could be throwing away a family that cares for her greatly. Maybe she already realized that. Thanks again!

By: Ben

Ben — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 14:41:53 +0000

Thanks for the article. I have been doing these things, and I still haven’t gotten a response in return, but she did invite me last night to go on a family vacation to her favorite place. We planned it together or we both made some of the arrangements, but it felt like she wanted to spend time with me for a change. She’s home now, but still no emotional or physical intimacy at all. I have a million thought going through my head, and some are to just let go of her entirely so she has to take some form of action to make herself happy again. Says she’s unhappy with everything, and wants to go talk to a counselor to get her head straight. Says she doesn’t want me to run, but to give her some time to figure out what she wants or needs to be happy again. I try to help her with the things that have her soo stressed out (work, school, being gone) but still feel underappreciated. I guess from the time she first told me she didn’t have the same feelings for me, and got to the point where she didn’t care about me anymore, I went throught the hurt stage and am now in the OK stage. I love her with all my heart, but just want her to find happiness, and get some help before it’s too late. She keeps putting it off for work, and I understand she doesn’t have a lot of choice in that sometimes, but sometimes she does. I just feel really unimportant right now, but she doesn’t want to let go of me entirely. What to do I’ll never fully understand! Thanks for the advice above. It is what it is, it’s not what it’s not, don’t make it what it isn’t!

Comments on: When Your Wife Isn’t Happy – 6 Ways to Increase Intimacy and Love

By: Ben

By: Ben