Comments on: What is Closure in a Relationship? Healing Without Saying Goodbye

By: Ashley

Ashley — Thu, 24 May 2012 01:27:52 +0000

Me and my bf been together for exactly 4 months but it felt like 2 years he was the best thing that happend to me i guess you can say but when i found out he wasn’t happy and he was miserable it mad me sadder I TRIED TO fix things but nope. I lost my virginity to him which makes it alot harder to get over him :’( and he has more reasons why but won’t tell me he blocked me on f.b nd ignores me Help

By: Mybele

Mybele — Mon, 14 May 2012 23:25:20 +0000

I understand that it’s difficult to tell people something that you KNOW will upset them, I have had to do it myself in the past and its almost as uncomfortable giving the “bad news” as it is receiving it. However, when did it become okay to stop treating people with respect and dignity? Social and digital media (Twitter, Facebook, Instant messengers, email) make it easy for us to connect, to stay in touch, but at the same time they give people a “mask” that they can hide behind. These “tools” can dehumanize and disconnect us from the senses we rely on, and leave us wondering what the person on the other end is actually trying to say to us…

Closure in a relationship is something we might never receive. If you cared for the person to begin with, if you ever honored that person at all than take the high road and tell them in person, or over the phone that you will be moving on. Yes they might be hurt, angry or sad by your disclosure, Yes you might have to put up with a feeling uncomfortable for a few minutes, but in the end they will respect you for delivering the news to them with kindness, and more importantly – they will begin to heal.

For those of you who have posted here above and below my post – I’ve walked in your shoes, I know your pain. The buck stops here though… I refuse to treat others like I have been treated! Responsibility, dignity and kindness… do it!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:34:21 +0000

My ex-boyfriend dumped me 4 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuses to have any contact with me. I’m so confused, and we have no closure in our relationship. I was wrong and now it’s too late.

Thank you for writing this because it helped.

By: lacey

lacey — Mon, 14 May 2012 01:43:33 +0000

After five long years my heart aches with pain my mind is in shambles and my life is in pieces I really don’t know how to move on I’ve been in two relationships one for four years another for five years I’ve be doing this since I was fifteen years old things seem like nothing is really meant to be I just need to heal so I can live again

By: inlove

inlove — Sun, 13 May 2012 03:37:51 +0000

and im bearly 20 years old and im willing to fight for this love that my husband and i havee i love him and im his love soildier his 23 i guess well see eachothe once were on our 30s damn its sucks i try not to think about it because its a longg time the worst part is that i dont my papers and not legal and i can even goo see him to prison maybee people hellpp

By: inlove

inlove — Sun, 13 May 2012 03:32:42 +0000

My Story started in 2006 i was 15 i had me the love of my life (thought so than)We were the happiest couple ever that everybody hate it on it lastes almost 3 years till he left me unexpectally without the courtesy to even tell me he didnt wanted to be with ,not just leave me aftyer everything my family and i had done for him,i love him withh alll my heart i was down for hiim to the foelest we did everything together we already had our plans for our future but that day we never talked to each other again as a couple was one afternoon that we had gotten out of school early ;i walked him to the bus stop to go with that bitch but i didnt know and than before he got on the bus he gave me a a good bye kiss and tight hug and told me i love you p for some reason after that i felt like if i was never gona see him again and yup he shine me off straight up ever sinse that day dammnn it broke my heartttttt into million pieces it was such a deep sharp shocking pain that didnt even make me cry and didnt want to!at some point till 2 months later i go to his house and try to pick up some stuff and im getting to the apt and i seen him with her in a lil slut dress and him holding on to her i was surprised and try to beat her upp but they didnt let it happennn it was horribleee;its been 3 years and we never when back im guessing he stilll with her he had came bak to me 1 year after he came to visit my mom end up stayng wit me that night we spend a whole day n night together just talking and for the next day he lefttt and dissapeared from my life once again witout telllin me nothing n didnt even come to my moms birthday the same day he left DAmnnn the was time that really broke my heart and broke down in tears it was the worst depression in my life i hqad finally realised that he didnt love me or even gave a fuck about mee after everythinggg thats when i decided to move one than 2 years after i met the man of my dreams and became my huisband i was finally happy again thinking everything was gonna b perfect than now he gets locked up for 8 yearss and im goinnng bcrazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy why dis happen to meeeee but i believe and loooking forward them better dayss

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 09:19:37 +0000

Hi everyone. I am going through the toughest time of my life. My husband of 3 years has left me with no explanation..just ignoring me. He is from America and I am from England. We were planning on me moving there really soon.. and saw eachother every month.
He is in a band and tours every now and then, but that has never been a problem till this tour… we have been having some problems but nothing major.. yet within a week of being on this tour he started distancing himself… hardly any replys to my messages on fb.. NO calls.. becoause he was out of signal(so he says) and too busy and tired and ill etc.. all the excuses, that funnily enough never bothered him before during the hundreds of tours.
I have a strong feeling he has met someone else on this tour. He wont reply to me.. wont talk to me about anything. I just dont know what to do. My whole life is my marriage and my child (who he is step dad too) I just dont know what to do… :’-(

By: Sthaapi

Sthaapi — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 07:05:37 +0000

Its not really easy tryin to move on without closure, i am going throu a rough patch as well after my ex boyfriend broke up with me two months ago.. The break up was all unexpected because just before i got a text message from him telling me we should break up we were really in good terms, he told me that he wanted to be alone for a while, i accepted cos i thought it was not really over and that he will come back and start again, well i contacted him a month and a week after but he told me he had a girlfriend, after some time he invited me via social network and told me he was cheatin on me and stuff so that is why he broke up with me but he is still dating the same girl, i still think there is more… 2 months down the line he called me saying that he misses me and that i should visit his place when schools closes cos hes at varsity and im at college, (we were in a long distance relationship and i am the one who gets to visit his place). after i got this strange call from him, i am really depressed its like i moved back to step one, i try so hard not to contact him again and i know i wont but i still have hope that we will get back together but i also know that im wrong and that i have to move on. any advice would really help..

By: Miss George

Miss George — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 08:52:59 +0000

I am in a situation of not getting closure early on coming back to haunt me. I fell in love with a guy when we were both 19, I think maybe we were too young but despite how we felt about each other it fell apart because he wouldn’t let me in. For 3 years afterwards I searched for answers begged him to take me back the works. Eventually time healed me enough to find someone new, and I fell in love with him. Its not the same love I had then but it’s far more than I thought I could. Now my ex is back pouring his heart out to me trying to give and get closure. I think he actually is trying to win me back instead. He says that he wishes he had said what he wants to say now back then so I’d be with him today. But its just too little too late… love isn’t a game. If our closure chat was even a year earlier today I would be with him

By: Samantha

Samantha — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 04:27:48 +0000

I met the most wonderful caring man that came into my life when I felt just lost. Our life was perfect, we loved each other in a matter of weeks , we couldn’t be apart at all. At night if he wasn’t there I would wake up short of breath. Looking back maybe it was to soon , he was only 20 I was 23. We broke up 2 years in because he said he was scared to love someone so much and find his soulmate at 22. I was heartbroken I couldn’t sleep , eat or even go to work then 2 weeks later he took me back and said he’d made a mistake. Once again all was perfect, my world turned again , it had colour . Then once again after another year passed us by he left me saying he wasn’t ready for this to be his last relationship. Once again I’m heartbroken I only want him no one else, he keeps calling and saying he wants me in his life as friends but I’m not sure anymore . How can I get closure if I still hold hope he’ll rescue me again from my misery? Can relationships be ok the third time around or am I fooling myself? All I hear is how you never forget your one true love but I don’t wanna forget , a part of me knows he knows I’m the only women for him, to make matters worse he has aspergers ( a slight form of it ) and I’ve done a lot of reading on it so maybe this is what confuses him so ? I’m completly helpless