These hints and signs of betrayal will help you figure out if your boyfriend is unfaithful – and what you should do about it.
Suspecting that he is betraying you is one thing, but actually accepting it is another.
Here’s what Dr Phil says about accepting a physical or emotional betrayal in love (or anything else that’s difficult to accept in your relationship):
“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge,” says Dr Phil McGraw. The sooner you uncover a betrayal in love, the sooner you can figure out if you should leave or learn ways to survive an affair and rebuild your relationship.
If you’re uncertain about your man, you have to read The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted… But Chose to Ignore. It combines tales of dating disaster and advice on how to handle similar situations in your own relationship.
Once know about some of the red-flag-worthy problems men display (such as the signs of betrayal below), you can evaluate what you’re okay with, what you’re so not okay with, and, hopefully, gain a better understanding of what kind of man, and relationship, will work best for you.
The first step is to figure out if you have an unfaithful boyfriend. Then you can figure out how to stop cheating in a relationship.
How to Know if Your Boyfriend is Unfaithful
1. Trust your gut: if you suspect your boyfriend is cheating, he probably is. Generally speaking – in most cases – if a girlfriend suspects her boyfriend is having an affair, then he probably is cheating. Why? Because she’s picking up on the cues and clues that reveal his behaviors and actions.
Cheating is one of the main reasons relationships fail – but some couples manage to build a better relationship after a betrayal like cheating.
2. Examine the reasons you think your boyfriend is unfaithful. Is he working or staying out late, getting secret phone calls, or talking about a certain person all the time? It’s important to look at those suspicions and determine if they’re valid. It’s also important to separate your own personal issues from your boyfriend’s actions and habits. For instance, if you think your boyfriend is unfaithful because your last love relationship ended due to physical or emotional affair (and not because of reality), then you be ultra-sensitive to possible betrayal. Sometimes we’re suspicious of partners because of our own past experiences and issues.
3. Ask your boyfriend if he’s being unfaithful. He may deny it and you may be afraid to bring it up because of the effect it’ll have on your marriage, but the sooner you talk about it, the better. Describe why you think he’s cheating on you, and ask him outright if he’s cheating. And, don’t forget that physical infidelity is only one type of affair.
4. Examine your relationship. Are you physically and emotionally intimate? Do you communicate with your boyfriend? Is he indifferent to family events or activities, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays? Is he more secretive? Those signs may indicate that your boyfriend is cheating on you — and can help you decide if you want to put effort into staying together and surviving an affair.
5. Look at your boyfriend’s “paper” trail. Girlfriends may uncover unfaithful boyfriends by looking at bank statements, credit card statements, email messages, text messages, Facebook accounts, or even car mileage. Whether this is ethical or moral is something each woman needs to decide for herself.
6. Be aware of changes in behavior, tone of voice, and habits. Telling signs of a unfaithful boyfriend can include nonverbal body language, verbal statements, and emotional reactions to questions. Is your boyfriend suddenly more attentive than usual, concerned about his appearance, wearing a different type of underwear, trying a different cologne, or ultra-clean when he gets home (from a recent shower)? A sudden change of behavior – such as leaving work early or late – could be a sign of betrayal in love.
7. Hire a private investigator. On one of my articles on “Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals” – I think it was Learning Why Men Cheat From Gary Neuman – a private investigator commented that he’s often hired by wives who think their husbands are cheating. If you can afford it, consider hiring someone to follow your boyfriend. If he’s serious about lying to you and covering up his affair, then you need to get serious about discovering the truth. There’s nothing worse than suspecting he’s cheating on you, but ignoring the signs of betrayal.
Is Your Boyfriend Telling Lies? How to Find Out the Truth may help you figure out the difference between actual betrayal and your own suspicious mind!
If you have any thoughts on these signs of betrayal – or you think your boyfriend is unfaithful – please comment below.
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.