Comments on: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay – Help for Failing Marriages

By: Should You Leave Your Husband? 3 Signs It's Time to Go : Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships

Sun, 20 May 2012 14:04:50 +0000

[...] you’re considering divorce, you might think about fighting for your marriage if there is a foundation of mutual love, if both partners are willing to work through physical or [...]

By: Perla

Perla — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 19:18:40 +0000

I have read your article and i have defenetly been thru some of the things you have mentioned. Your articles are really helpfull. I should really talk to him about our problems that we seems to have like everyday. I would like for you to give me some advice please. So here are my questions. If we fight everyday does that mean i should leave him or should i keep fightin back? How do you know if he really loves you? What should i do if he insults me and calls me names like bad names? Should i tell him what i really feel and think about his attitude? If you can atleast answer me some of these question that’ll be great. Thank you very much.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 21:54:22 +0000

Dear Sarah,

Congratulations for being strong and brave enough to leave your marriage! It sounds like it’s been a long road — and leaving your husband will also be a long road — but you’ll have more self-respect and happiness if you do it.

You deserve better, my friend.

Blessings,
Laurie

By: sarah

sarah — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 17:03:55 +0000

Hi Laurie,
Thank you for the article…I’ve read it, then reread it, then read other articles and am going to find the book “Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay” but I believe my waffling is over.
It comes down to talk being cheap. It’s been quite easy for my husband to say that he’s sorry, but when i step back, i see the pattern. : Here’s an example:
my husband tells me that he loves me so very deeply, and that the times I have come up behind him, given him a caress, a kiss and a hug – he’s felt fantastic, that at that moment he would do anything for me…
seems great, doesn’t it? but i look at it twofold – one, he only loves me if I do something first – and that’s conditional love. Second, it’s part and parcel to the pattern I believe we’re in. It’s the old ‘kiss and slap’ routine: I love you, even though you’re an angry, selfish woman. First the kiss (“i love you”) then the slap (“even though you’re an angry..”etc.)
You are absolutely right in regard to your four questions – and he’s told me yes, but his actions say ‘no’. he has every excuse as to why he keeps his condo…and i understand that, because I’m at the end of my rope. I love myself. I really do – and I have made compromises and would continue to do so if I saw some ‘action’ that would show me he really wants this to work…but I don’t – and I can’t keep sacrificing myself expecting a different outcome.
Thank you for pointing things out – it’s truly appreciated. thank you for giving me back some of my power and reaffirming what I already knew but was too afraid to voice.
Blessings back…quantified three-fold:)

1. willing to work on issues?