7 Tips for Romantic Relationships – Love Secrets
These tips for romantic relationships are based on 
Before the tips, a quip:
When someone remarked to Agatha Christie about her being 15 years older than her archaeologist husband Max Mallowan, she said: “That’s the wonderful thing about being married to an archaeologist. The older I get, the more interesting I am to him!” ~ Agatha Christie.
A secret to a happy marriage is to find the humor in what you think may be your weaknesses — because they can be the best part of your marriage. For some serious love secrets, read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
7 Tips for Romantic Relationships – Love Secrets
1. Love relationship researchers can predict who will divorce. Psychologists can not only predict which couples will divorce, they also know when. Annette Bening and Kevin Spacey’s marriage in American Beauty is a perfect example of typical mid-life marital problems. “These couples are alienated and avoidant. They are the people you see in a restaurant who are not talking to each other,” said University of California professor John Gottman. “They raise kids together, but there is not much going on with each other and they realize their marriage is empty. These couples stifle things and do not raise issues with their partner. Their marriages are a suppression of negative emotions and a lack of positive emotions. It is a very passive and distant relationship with no laughing, love or interest in each other. This style of suppression can cause intense loneliness that’s almost like dying.”
2. Men, not women, sacrifice for their relationships. You can’t tell me you knew this tip for a romantic relationship: research from two different universities discovered that men maybe more likely than women to sacrifice achievement goals for a romantic relationship. Even the researchers didn’t expect men to give priority to a relationship over their professional goals. Since the study participants were college students, these findings may not apply to long-term marriages…but it’s interesting that men are more likely to chase wedded bliss than women!
3. There is one secret to a happy marriage. A husband’s emotional engagement is the single most important factor in determining marital happiness – wedded bliss – for a wife. University of Virginia researchers found that women care more about being understood, having their needs met, and spending quality time with their husbands than money or household chores. Here’s a love secret for men: be vulnerable and affectionate with your wives – especially if this is your second marriage.
4. People who never married risk an early death. Never married men between ages 19 and 44 are more than twice as likely to die early as their married peers. Even though the unmarried men in this study exercised more and were less overweight, they were more socially isolated. Never married women weren’t as vulnerable to early death…but I think this marriage secret does depend on the quality of your marriage! Unhappy marriages may lead to unhealthy partners.
5. Feminists have happier, more romantic relationships. In the past, research showed that both men and women thought that feminism and romance couldn’t co-abide together. However, Rutgers University researchers found that feminist women have healthier relationships, more satisfaction with physical intimacy, and more stable marriages. Since feminism and romance aren’t incompatible, a love secret for a romantic relationship may include switching up gender roles a little.
6. Men, not women, sacrifice for their marriage or love relationships. You can’t tell me you knew this tip for a romantic relationship: research from two different universities discovered that men maybe more likely than women to sacrifice achievement goals for a romantic relationship. Even the researchers didn’t expect men to give priority to a relationship over their professional goals. Since the study participants were college students, these findings may not apply to long-term marriages…but it’s interesting that men are more likely to chase wedded bliss than women!
7. Unhappy marriages are harder on wives. UCLA researchers found that when husbands go home after work, their stress hormone cortisol is dramatically reduced whether or not they’re happily married. In contrast, wives enjoy lower cortisol levels after work only if they’re happily married. If they’re unhappy, their cortisol increases when they get home. Cortisol is a result of chronic stress and can lead to depression, chronic fatigue, and possibly even cancer. Knowing about this love secret can improve your health — and maybe even save your life.
If you need marriage help, relationship counselor Mort Fertel has free advice on turning your marriage around.
Category: Expressing Love, Love, Marriage, Reconnecting, Romance, Stages of Love
What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.