Sep 142011
 

Read these tips on how to find a good boyfriend, and you’ll set yourself up to meet the one who is right for you – a man who will become a loving, caring husband. The best way to find a good boyfriend is to get emotionally healthy – look inward first.

Take Cher’s advice: “I don’t need a man,” says Cher. “But I’m happier with one. I like to have someone I can touch and squeeze and kiss. But I don’t fold up and die if I don’t have a man around.”

If you want to find a good boyfriend, you need to be a strong, healthy, happy woman! A bestselling book on being strong and healthy in love is Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship – it’s a bestseller.

And here are a few tips on finding a good boyfriend who will be a loving husband…

How to Find a Good Boyfriend

These tips aren’t about how to attract a man by flirting or wearing the right makeup. That’s not how you find a good boyfriend, my friend. Rather, these tips are about being the best, strongest, healthiest woman you can be – which involves looking inward, not outward.

Get emotionally, physically, spiritually, and professionally healthy

Where are you going? What do you want out of life – apart from wanting to marry the right guy? If you’re stuck in a cycle of depression, binge eating, financial debt, unhealthy family relationships, or addictions, then you need to get healthy before you think about a serious relationship.

The key to finding a good boyfriend is to be a good woman. It may sound like a bad country song, but it’s true!

Be open to meeting and dating different types of men

Take every opportunity to meet different types of men: accept blind dates from friends, meet your aunt’s neighbors, join hiking groups for singles, take classes through continuing education, join the singles group at church, and volunteer for different events and organizations.

Good men are everywhere – you just have to get in their way! And, you have to set aside your preconceived notions about what a man should look and talk like.

Pay attention to red flags

If your boyfriend doesn’t let you visit his home, introduce you to his friends, treat you well, or spend money on you (and let you spend money on him), then you need to reevaluate the relationship. Red flags are anything that makes you wonder about his character or values.

If you wouldn’t tell your best friend, mother, or sister what your boyfriend does or says, it’s a red flag. Don’t turn a blind eye to those red flags – because they’ll get worse, not better.

Put your long-term happiness over your short-term goals

I didn’t get married until I was 35, and I would’ve fallen into at least two unhappy marriages if I wasn’t saved by my boyfriends’ indifference to marrying me! I was so focused on my goal of getting married, I ignored the long-term perspective.

To find a good boyfriend who will support your long-term happiness, ask yourself if you can live with your boyfriend exactly the way he is right now for the rest of your life. Be honest as you decide if he is the man you want to be married to for 20, 30, or 50 years.

Go beyond his appearance…can you talk to him?

Forget about his body, gorgeous eyes, charming smile, and large warm hands. Can you talk to him about life, love, relationships, spirituality, life goals, politics, and differing opinions? Does he help you feel cherished, loved, appreciated, and happy? Do you connect on all levels: professional, social, intellectual, spiritual?

If you’re struggling to connect intellectually at the boyfriend and dating stage, then you won’t connect after you’re married.

finding good boyfriends

“How to Find a Good Boyfriend” image by Laurie

Enjoy being single, meeting men, and dating

Having a boyfriend or loving husband is a wonderful part of life – but so is being single and dating! Learn to enjoy your single life; it has benefits that marriage doesn’t. Savor whatever stage of life you’re at – and recognize that you don’t need a man or marriage to be happy. A man can’t make you happy, no matter how good a boyfriend or loving a husband he is.

Let’s move on to the next step: How to Find a Husband Who Treats You Like Gold :-)

For more tips on love and dating, read Can You Make a Man Fall in Love With You?


Fix Your Marriage

What do you think about these tips for finding a good boyfriend? Comments welcome below…

laurie pawlik kienlenI'm Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen (but I wish my name was Rosie Frost!). I'm a bookworm, travel bug, flute player, writer. My husband and I live in Vancouver, Canada with our cat and dogs.

Are you happy? My Grade 10 Social Studies teacher, Mr Merritt, always used to ask me that. And I am happy - despite a difficult childhood (schizophrenic mother, no father, foster homes), infertility, an eating disorder, and a chronic illness. The source of my peace and joy is God; I'm a Christian.

How is your life unfolding - what do you need? I welcome your big and little comments below, about big or little things. I can't give you advice, but writing can give you clarity and insight.

In peace and passion.... Laurie

  5 Responses to “How to Find a Good Boyfriend”

  1. I agree that the best boyfriend could be right under your nose – he could be one of your closest friends, or even a friend of the family. I knew my husband for 17 years before we got married…we were friends almost the whole time.

  2. Sometimes woman can have a potential boyfriend already! It can be their best friends that they hang out with everyday.

  3. Sometimes we search too far to get a boyfriend, we don’t realize if the closest person could be someone who can be the best boyfriend for us. I started the relationship with my spouse from a solid friendship. At that time I didn’t realize if he’s the one. I was too busy to find a boyfriend at other places. Till one day I realize if he is the best one, and thanks God he has the same feeling with me :)

  4. Thanks, Theodora. If you want to be in a good relationship, you need to know how to find a good boyfriend….and you SHOULD be picky!

  5. This is a great article!!

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