Saying or even thinking, “My husband left me for another woman” is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. These tips will help you move on after your marriage breaks down.
It’s time to start feeling better yourself, your life, and your future. It won’t be easy, but you WILL survive.
Here’s what one famous wife said, when her husband left:
“I’m not sure what the future holds but I do know that I’m going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate,” said Nicole Kidman. “As my dad said ‘Nic, it is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.’”
It is what it is, my friend. It’s the worst betrayal in marriage, it may be the worst thing your husband could ever do to you…but it’s what happened. The sooner you can accept that it is what it is, the sooner you can move on and create a better, more meaningful, happier life!
If you think you’ll never survive the end of your marriage, read When He Leaves: Help and Hope for Hurting Wives.
And, here are six tips on how to cope when your husband ends your marriage…
When Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman…
Realize that his leaving isn’t a direct reflection on you
No matter how beautiful, successful, slim, or rich their wives are, some husbands will be unfaithful. Men cheat and leave their marriages for a wide variety of reasons – many of which have nothing to do with their wives.
To learn more about cheating husbands, read Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair.
More importantly, remember that your husband left you for another woman because of his problems – which aren’t a reflection of you! It’s not that you’re not good enough, or she’s a better woman. To survive your breakup, keep reminding yourself that your husband left you because he has his own issues.
Stop comparing yourself to the other woman
She probably has strengths that you don’t have and weaknesses that you don’t have. If it makes you feel better, make a list of your strengths and her weaknesses, and read them when you feel down on yourself. But, I think it’s better not to compare yourself to the other woman at all. Surviving a breakup is about moving onwards and upwards, about healing and personal growth. It doesn’t matter who or what she is…what matters is that you have a life to recreate!
Spend time with women who survived their marriage breakups
Ask your friends and family members if they know a woman whose husband left her. If she survived her breakup – and is stronger, happier, and healthier – spend time with her. Ask if you can buy her a coffee; learn how she overcame pain of his cheating. Soak up her courage, health, and wisdom!
One of my favorite breakup survival tips is to gain strength and healing from women who have survived similar problems in life.
Let go of your old hopes and dreams for your marriage
If your husband left you for another woman, you’re not just mourning the loss of him as a man…you’re mourning the end of something real, something you believed in and thought would last. You’re mourning the end of the marriage you hoped to have (or that you thought you had). You’ve been betrayed, and you aren’t as innocent and trusting as you were before. Mourn not just your loss of a husband, but the loss of your marriage, the loss of the things you hoped for on your wedding day.
Get professional help if don’t think you can survive the breakup
Counseling is about making sense of your life, and figuring out how to move on after betrayals, heartaches, and heartbreaks. Talking through your problems with an objective counselor, spiritual leader, or psychologist can help you let go. An objective professional can help you see your big life picture and your more detailed personality characteristics.
If you feel lost and helpless because your husband said he doesn’t love you anymore, don’t spin your wheels alone. Invest in yourself emotionally and spiritually — a counselor can help you make sense of what why your husband left and how to pick up the pieces of your life.
For more ways to cope when your husband leaves you for another woman, read Can’t Get Over the Break Up? How to Move Through the Pain.
Start something new in your life
This is your chance to embark on a new chapter in your social, professional, personal, or spiritual life! Volunteer, take a solo or group vacation, join a new gym, take a night class, join a support group, check out a new social club, quit your job, go back to school. Surviving a breakup can be about growing into the woman you were meant to be – and about exploring a different part of your life and personality. This may be the end of one stage of your life…but it can be the beginning of a whole new era! It’s up to you…
For more tips, read How to Be Happy Without Your Husband’s Money or Love.
If you know in your heart it's time to move on, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
If you need to talk about why your husband left you for another woman, please share below! Sometimes writing is the healthiest thing you can do…