From a little pile of money comes freedom and independence! (image by Aaron Paterson, via flickr)
Do you feel trapped in your marriage because you have no money to support yourself?
Here are a few ways to get money to leave your husband.
“I had two kids was pregnant with my third [while he was sleeping around],” says C. on Should I Leave My Cheating Husband? “I have nowhere to go. I lost my job, and I am trying to finish school. I don’t have money to leave. I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt, scared, sad, angry and just alone now. I have three beautiful kids with him and I hate to think how much this will hurt them. I can’t believe I was a fool and let him do this to me time after time.”
The first thing wives who have no money (or even financially independent women) need to do is start taking control of their lives. For money advice, read books like Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny by Suze Orman. She’s a strong woman who is a fantastic role model for women everywhere.
And here are a few more tips for financially dependent women…
Do you regret the break up? It's not too late... How to Get Your Ex Back
How to Get Money to Leave Your Husband
These tips are all about taking action. If you really want to change your life and leave a guy who doesn’t love or honor you, you need to start moving forward. You can’t get financial support unless you start reaching out for it.
And once you start reaching out with a positive mindset, you’ll be shocked at how easily money will come to you.
Before I get to my tips, here’s what one reader told me she’s doing to earn money:
- Collecting cans and turning them in for cash
- Asking my neighbors if they have any odd paying jobs I can do?- Wash windows, weed gardens etc.
- Taking online surveys to make a few extra bucks a day (about $3, not a huge amount but it helps build my stash).
- Every few times I go to the grocery store or Walmart etc, I buy a $5 gift card. Even if can only do $.50 etc do it!
- Selling household items on ebay. May only profit $.75 but again, all small steps leads to bigger rewards. kids your kids outgrown clothes etc. You would be amazed at what sells!
- Using coupons to get free and store the TP, toothpaste etc in a box or at a friends. Again, little things add up. I have a box of Shampoo, toothpaste, soap, TP, etc ready to go. This will help me when I am starting out and not having to buy and spend what little money I have
Every journey starts with a few small steps, my friends.
Remember that help is out there – but you have to ask for it
Many financially dependent wives say they have no help, nobody to support them, nobody to go stay with. They may feel that way, but it’s not the truth. How do I know? Because if my neighbor came over and said she has no money to leave her husband and asked me for help, I’d do something. I may not give her money, but I’d help her and her kids in some way.
I also know that wives who feel alone aren’t really alone because my mom was a single parent. She was also schizophrenic, and we moved to new city every six months or so. She had no friends, no money, and a severe mental illness…and yet she managed to find money help! How did she find it? She went to Social Services, to churches, and to my grandma for help.
Don’t think of yourself as “trapped” – though I know that’s what the title of this article is! Stay focused on the fact that you WILL get money to leave your husband. It’s just a matter of time and planning. And taking action.
Create a plan to leave your marriage – it’ll make asking for financial help easier
Sit down, give the “poor me I have no money to leave my husband” a rest, and put your brains to work. How much money does it cost to feed and educate your kids? Forget about the frills – kids don’t need iPhones, laptops, or video games. Can you stay with family while you save money for your own place? How will you support yourself?
If you have specific plans to leave, you may find it easier to ask for financial help. If you’re asking family for money help, read about loans between family members.
Learn what types of financial support you’re eligible for
Talk to Social Services about financial resources for single parents. Start by calling the office closest to you. If they can’t offer money or other help, ask them for three other numbers to call. Call your church, and talk to your pastor. Don’t just ask for financial and spiritual support; ask for practical resources that can help you leave. Ask to be connected with other women who were financially dependent, who rebuilt their lives.
Every three months, canvassers from the Single Parents Food Bank come to our door, asking for donations. My husband gives money every single time because he knows single parents need money help because raising kids is expensive. But it’s not impossible, my friend!
Open your own savings or checking account
Many financially dependent women don’t have their own chequing or savings accounts. No problem! Even if you only have $10 to your name, you need to get to the bank and start your journey to financial dependence…and perhaps even wealth!
And yes, single income families often live close to the poverty line. I grew up poorer than dirt – we even slept outside a few times. But I grew up to be a strong, vibrant, smart, educated, motivated, happy, Christian woman. I learned resilience and strength from my single parent childhood – and I respect my mom, who had no money and nowhere to go, but she left her jerk of a husband.
It’s never too late to start setting and achieving your financial goals.
Stay focused on your future
It’s easy to get overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and depressed about the journey you’re about to go on. Don’t let negativity or fear stop you from leaving your husband! Stay focused on what you will achieve in your life, and how much better it will be for your kids and yourself. Write down your goals for a year from now: how much money do you want to be making? What friends do you want to spend time with? How do you want to spend your days?
And, remember that it takes time to save enough money to leave your husband.
Get strength from women who felt financially trapped, but left their husbands
“I was in that situation for 23 years,” says shygrneyzs on I need to leave my husband, but I have no help, on AskMeHelpDesk.com. “I finally opened up my own checking account, started saving a bit at a time, and made plans. When I finally made up my mind to leave, it took less than a month to finalize the plans. I gave myself a deadline and stuck to it. When you stay in a marriage like that, you enable every negative behavior your husband possesses. You become the martyr.”
One final tip for women who need help leaving when they have financial help help and nowhere to go: Ask yourself, “Am I better off with or without him?”
If you feel weak, read Need Strength to Leave a Relationship? 6 Ways to Get Strong Now.
Do you need to get money to leave your husband? Comments welcome below…
Do you need marriage help? Get free marriage advice from Mort Fertel. He's good.
Shamelle,
It does sound like you’re stuck! I’m struggling to find something to say that is helpful, but I can’t.
It doesn’t sound like you want to leave him…you want him to change. But he won’t change, so you’re stuck with him the way he is, or you’re forced to make a major upheaval in your life and sell the house, file for divorce, and start over on your own.
What would that be like?
MsWisdom, I wish it were that easy! It takes alot of time before those alimony and child support payments come out of his paycheques. And if he doesn’t get paid in cash, it’s even more difficult.
If you want to leave your husband, it’s better to try and have your own money. Easier said than done.
I’m married to a lazy, insecure, bullying, drinker. He’s never violent or physically abusive, but can be terribly insulting to me. He does have good sides, he cooks and shops, but there his contribution ends. If he cooks, he never even soaks a pot, so that I have to spend the evening after work cleaning his mess. Only for him to repeat the process the next day. He cooks because he knows this is the only thing he can do, does not have the cop on to see the amount of massive jobs that need to be done in the house. We don’t need his food, but we do need the hot water to be fixed. My son adores him, like I said, he’s not a bad man. Just a bit useless and a mistake I made. I’m a bigger eejit not to have listened to my head years ago. Problem now is we have a mortgage. I work full time and he is self-employed. Somehow he has managed to put in more ‘work’ hours than my 43 hour week. My timeoff is spent cleaning the house, I wouldn’t bother but it’s not fair on our son to live in a pigsty. He still spends hours on Facebook drinking wine, then going to bed too late and waking up moody. He’s either hungover or drinking these days. Have tried to talk to him, he manages to spin it into an argument and sulks for hours. All I want is for him to grow up and see that we need to make a plan, this is no life. I can’t drag our son away to a life of uncertainty, but I can’t leave him with him as he will end up neglected and sad, so I’m stuck. And he knows this.
Ladies once you decide to file for divorce you can request child support and alimony from your ex. This money can come right out of his weekly pay check which is set up by the court upon request and be sent to you.
Dear Kim,
I think it’s great, how strategic and thoughtful you are in planning your “escape”! It sounds like you’ll have enough money not only to leave your husband, but to move to Hawaii or Mexico and retire
Thank you for your comments, and for inspiring other women to start saving up and thinking ahead.
Blessings,
Laurie
I started funneling 200.00 bucks each payday (that’s 400 a month) from account where my hubby’s checks were deposited into. And I just forgot about it! and I saved other money here and there into my mad money fund stashed at my house. It’s important ladies to build up these accounts, but also very important to build up cash too for emergencies where you can’t wait for the bank to open to get yourself away from abuse and into a safe motel room for you and your kids. I personally stash my cash in a empty lysol wipes plastic container that sits with other cleaning products under my sink. My hubby would never find it since he would never ever be cleaning anything in our house. people who come to rip off your house while you’re away usually don’t clean either as they toss your pad.
My plan is a four year plan. I’ve got two in already, two to go. I’ve cleaned up my credit and keep an eye on it to make sure it’s always in good standings and so I can rent anywhere I find thats safe and affordable when the time comes for this girl to say see ya
“Go, be the woman you were created to be. It’s never too late to be happy.”
I love that, RJ — thank you for writing it! And thank you for sharing your story, I wish you all the best as you free yourself and live a bigger, better life.
Stay connected – let us know how you’re doing!
Hello,
I’m glad I came across your article, it reminded me about where I am in my own personal journey. I dated my husband a year before we got married and we are coming up on our 2 year marriage anniversary and 3 year couples anniversary. Sadly I didn’t have much time to get to know my husband before things got serious and we were separated a lot of the time because he had joined the military months after we started dating.
I can really only blame myself because I was exposed to a lot of signs. He was extremely jealous, insecure, and immature but instead of running like I should have, I felt the need to “prove” to him that I wasn’t a cheater like his past girlfriends. Flash forward three years, he hasn’t changed and things have gotten a lot worse. Because of his highly stressful job, and drug history that I didn’t know about, my husband is a legal substance abuser. His choice of drug: Spice. Spice is synthetic cannabis and it’s 10X as more potent than regular majiuana. His addiction has spun out of control and it has pushed me away. Among the addiction, he has grown emotionally abusive and has physically broken a lot of my things in bouts of anger.
My husband is so far in his addiction that no one can tell him anything. I was told to report him to his command and that went absolutely nowhere. He self referred himself and never tested positive because it is extremely hard to test for spice. It also doesn’t stay in ones blood stream too long and they have to send the results to Georgia just to find anything. He has gone from a 1.5g pack a week to 3.5-5g per day. It has literally taken control of my marriage.
He no longer sleeps in my bed, yet wants sexual contact with me, so I’m alone in my room. This saddens me but doesn’t bother me as I’d prefer to be in my own world using my free time to make and save money than to be around him when he’s high 24/7. He destroys our home, vomits any and everywhere (without cleaning it up) has extreme uncontrolable bowel issues, coughs uncontrollably, and walks around like a zombie. He’s also “borrowed” from me without my permission to suffice his addiction. His latest act was to total our $17,000 vehicle on his way to buy more and now would rather pay a taxi to get more than to pay a taxi to get groceries for our home. I feel neglected, cheated, and angry a lot of the time. I started a small business and desperately needed the car and he totaled it beyond compare, now my small business is on hold.
I have found some work from home that is a bit alternative, though legal, which will get me quick cash and fast. My family is spread out all over the US and I much prefer to struggle on my own. I have given my husband a 6 month “turn around” period in order to make this work. Unfortunately for him he isn’t trying to change, and refuses to get help and he has 4 months left. I am plotting, saving, and mentally preparing myself for my move this August. I hope to have $7,000 saved up in order to restart my life. I’m a little scared, but I’m looking forward to being free from my marriage.
Thankfully I am still in my 20s and we have no children and I can start over without really looking back. It’s extremely hard to love someone so much who is just damaging themselves and the person they claim to love. Unfortunately with drugs/alcohol involved a human being will always come second and I’m not okay with that. He expects me to just except him as he is and just deal with his addiction. It’s tough because you love them deep down even when they hurt you over and over. I used to melt when he would go on his knees begging me not to leave or report him. I took him back each time but he has to hit bottom and he won’t with me here. I’m here to say that I will not stand for it in my life and I’m getting out before this all becomes too familiar. Before I no longer feel I have a voice.
I can only pick up the pieces and move on while I’m still young. I can’t imagine having a child with him and I refuse to. I saw these signs but I thought that he was serious about changing his life around. His father and brothers are addicts as well and he was trying to move away from it all when he joined the military. Sometimes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and it’s up to us as females to know someone before settling down, making a commitment, and being trapped. I know you cannot always predict the future but never again will I go into a relationship without an exit strategy. I thankfully have a separate bank account.
Kuddos to the ladies who’ve shared their stories, kudos to those of you who got out, and I pray for you ladies who are reading this and are still stuck. If you get tired of being sick and tired you WILL push through any hinderances and break out of that relationship. Never feel hopeless as long as you have breath in your lungs. If not for yourself, do it for your children. He has NO power over you, mentally, physically or financially. Do not believe that. Ever. You can walk away, and you WILL when you get good and ready to. Just know that there are organizations out there who will gladly except you, feed, and clothe you. Don’t be embarassed or afraid to take yourself and or your child and stay in a shelter until you get on your feet. There are lots of programs who will put you up in an apartment or a home, give you food, and even job courses/classes. It’s never too late to be who you’ve always wanted to be, no matter how beat or worn down or old you are.
And never forget to “check” any new men that come into your life. You could be repeating the cycle or even inviting a stranger who claims he wants to help you but only wants to prey on your children when you least expect it. Take it from me, I’m a child sexual abuse survivor who was hurt and molested by several different men while being raised by a single mother.
Go, be the woman you were created to be, it’s never too late to be happy. I’m 28 and in 4 short months I’m freeing myself and I’m going to live the best life I can, without him.
R
I appreciate the tips in this article and I am like many of the ladies. I quit my job almost a year ago to be a SAHM. Ive since enrolled in school and finished a certification course. My husband is a alcoholic and I’ve decided to file for separation but I have no job no money and can’t get government Assistance cause we still live in the same house. I He changed our checking account so I would no longer have access to it. I have started doing many of the suggestions in this article till I have enough money to move out. These comments have helped me because I know there are others who know what I’m going through. If anyone would like to share suggestions or just vent feel free to email me at ash12231981@gmail.com Thanks and be blessed
Dear E Joyce,
Thank you for your comment; I’m sad you don’t have enough money to leave your husband. I often think my articles about love and relationships don’t have the solutions. They’re tips, but I realize they don’t offer solutions for everyone.
Does your husband support you financially? Sometimes we have to make sacrifices – like staying with a man because we can’t afford to leave. It’s hard and sad.
Life isn’t for the faint-hearted, is it?
Blessings,
Laurie
I am 66 years old and was basically forced out of my postion over a year ago. My social security is tied up because I am in repayment mode until at least September.
My husband is a narcisstic personality and he does not see a problem with having a “relationship” with a woman that is a volunteer at the hospital where he works. He’s planning on giving her and her parents plants for Easter.
I am trying to set aside money but there are so many bills that are having to be paid that it is difficult to get too much at a time without something going into default.
I have no idea what to do anymore. I am in an awful marriage with a man who is a pathological liar with a “sex addiction”. He has been emotionally unavailable to me for the duration of our marriage and has spent much of his time and our money having sex with prostitutes, even when I was in the hospital, etc. His parents are aware of what he has done, yet treat me as if I were a waste of life and disrespect me constantly. I live in a house owned by his parents and him. I am a SAHM to a pre-schooler and an infant. I have no family. I have desperately been trying to get out of the marriage for years. All money I had saved prior to being a SAHM was spent by him as I had trusted him and put all my money in a joint account. My kids are exposed to constant fighting and always see their mother disrespected and upset. It has already affected the pre-schooler. I am at the end of my rope.
Dear Sol,
Thank you for being here, and for opening up about your life.
I wrote this article for you:
http://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/getting-out-of-a-relationship-nowhere-to-go/
I hope it helps.
Also, can you make 2 calls today, to find out if there are any womens shelters or support groups to help you leave your husband? Let me know who you called, and what they said.
Blessings,
Laurie
I am a mother of three my son 11, daughter 7 and the baby we have together is 2. My two older ones are not his. He has been cheating on me ever since I became pregnant that I know. I had a job Army active duty for 5 years he made me get out, end my time in service because he thought it would be best that I needed to spend more time with the kids. I have his two kids from his previous marriage living with us for the past year and a half. A boy 8 and girl 7 so I have 5 kids in my home. I have put up with a lot. he also gave a sexually transmitted disease but thank God it was curable. I do everything for this man I forgive him all the time. I take care of all the kids he doesn’t do anything or help me with anything. all he does is work goes out on the weekends and parties. if not goes away on the weekends to play softball and I stay home with the kids. he calls me name insults me anything you can think of. the only thing he hasn’t done is hit me. I just found out that this may he will know if he gets custody of his kids or they go back to their mother. apparently he told his kids that if the judge ruled in his favor that he was going to pack his and their stuff and leave my home because he didn’t care about the other two he was talking about my two oldest. and that he knew it wasn’t fair for the baby but that he wasn’t going to deal with other kids that weren’t his because they had me. today I actually got a message from some girl telling me his cheating on me and I have no clue who she is. I don’t know what to do if I should tell him and confront him. I don’t have a job and no money to leave him. I need help so bad I want leave him but I have no family or anywhere to go. I have fallen into depression and I don’t know what to do. can someone please help me or tell me what I should do. he is very verbally abusive and mentally I don’t think I can go another month like this. please help me
Vanessa,
I’m glad your refund is helping you to leave! Thanks for commenting, and for being an inspiration to other women in bad marriages.
Dear Lisa,
Is it possible for you to get a job? The “kids” are now old enough to support themselves, at 18 and 19, so all you have to worry about is yourself!
What was the last job you had?
I too am in a pretty bad situation…I’ve been cheated on, lied to, pushed around while I was holding our newborn. I am so unhappy. My light at the end of the tunnel is this tax return. Because of the child credit approx 5,000 I received. You can get this even if you made a very small amount of income on a w-2 or Even babysitting can be self employment. You’ll have to pay tax on it but it will just come out of your refund. I’d talk to a tax professional and see if there is anyway you can file. I’m not married so it was easier for me to hide but I’m just throwing that out as it is tax time. I received my refund and am getting out of here!
HI IM IN A RELATIONSHIP W A GUY WHOS MUCH OLDER THAN I HES 65 IM 38 HE EMOTIONALLY & MENTALLY ABUSES ME & DRINKS OFTEN & SAYS HURTFUL THINGS TO ME HE FINICALLY SUPPORTS ME I DONT HAVE A JOB A CAR OR
ANY SAVINGS I NEED HELP I
HAVE AN 18 & 19 YR OLD
WHOM LIVES W US THEY ARE
NOT OUR CHILDREN TOGETHER I WANT TO LEAVE SO BAD HELP ME
Dear IronMommy,
Thank you for sharing how you succeeded in leaving your husband!
It’s incredibly difficult to leave when you don’t have money, but if you rely on others and ask for help, then you can do it. Asking for help is hard because it requires you to be humble. It can also cause feelings of shame. But, after you go through the worst part, then you’ll be able to breathe again. You’ll be free and independent and happy. Life will never be perfect, but you’ll be in control of your own life.
I know first hand what it means to leave an unhealthy relationship. About 3 years ago I left my boyfriend of 7 years. At that time,we had two young daughters together. 2 and 4 years old. I had no job, and practically nothing saved. Living with him was torture. He was such a momas boy, couldn’t make a decision on his own to save his life. When his family started interfering, and I found out he was a pathological liar, and cheater, I said goodbye. I love myself and my kids too much to settle for second best in a mans life. I moved in with my parents, worked a couple of shitty jobs, until finally getting hired somewhere I loved. I saved up, and moved out on my own after a few months of saving. I was so happy. I can not tell you the feeling it is to breath clean air. Where your so comfortable in your own home, in your own skin. While I was making a beautiful life he was living with his mother! It’s possible to be happy. Believe in yourself. Screw money, screw all the impossibilities. It’s very possible. And trust me, when your tired enough, you will find away to escape your situation. Now I’m getting ready to leave my new boyfriend because like the old, he can’t find a healthy boundary away from his so called family. We have a daughter together and that can’t stop me from living a healthy life with her, and my other girls. Time is your friend, it’ll heal the wounds that might be imbedded on your soul. I promise there’s more to life then the life your currently living. Trust yourself. Your life is where you take it.
The only thing worse than being in a dead marriage is staying in a dead marriage.
Is money holding you back from leaving your husband? If you had enough money, would you leave him?
I’m in a dead marriage, & have been for years. How did I let my life get like this? I
wish that I would have run the other way. I have destroyed my life & my child’s. My
child hates him. I have wasted so many years, & you really can’t undo those years.
We have been wrong for each other from the start. We have never been compatible
nothing in common, I don’t even see why we got together in the first place. There is
so much wrong with this. I’m so unhappy & miserable, & I don’t see it changing any
time soon. Wrong for each other… & I’ve known it for a long time. I’m just like alot of
others at a dead end….. And I know it is hopeless & it always will be sad to say……,
Selling Avon is a great way to get money to leave your husband – thanks Jamie!
One of my friends sells jars of dried spices to make dips with. I can’t remember the company, but it’s located in BC, Canada. The dried spices are delicious — even I buy them (and I’m not a foodie).
I have been selling Avon to make money he doesn’t know about. If you have a second mailing address, this may be an option since you don’t have to do parties with Avon and its only $10 to start. Just keep catalogs in your purse and leave them everywhere! And use the included website to sell too! Avon does the rest with online sales! YourAvon.com/JamieWilkinson
when I was twenty years old I woke up one day and realized I married a total control freak and was 500 miles away from my family and friends with a new baby who was always sick. My husband was selfish and unrealistic about the reality of life with having a baby and being married. I didn’t just pack up and move 500 miles back home to my moms. I sat down and seriously started thinking and I’m not the best person with prayer but I asked for help on this one. The next day I started thinking again about how to make money fast with a new baby at home. I knew just a few women at church but I still knew paying for babysitting was going to slow down my collecting money to leave. I wrote down the mountain resorts biggest draws of people from out of the area. The people living in the town itself all were pretty strapped for money so I had to look outside the box. Then my friend from my old hometown called saying she was coming up to ski in two weeks and if I could watch her baby. BINGO! that was it. I said yes of course and after hanging up the phone researched the babysitting available through the big ski resort. As I was hoping they provided care for toddlers only age 2 and up. nothing for newborn to age 2. Well I got myself licensed by the sate of CA. I did the smartest thing that people said was a waste of my time. I made an appointment with the guy who ran the mountain ski resort and I told him I could help him attract more skiers this year by my sitting services. I explained that when I was booked up I had other licensed women who were available. He loved the idea and he also did all my advertising for me. I charged 25.00 a day which meant the parents needed to be at my door by 5:30 pm (8-5:30) Also I charged 25.00 per every 15 minutes after 5:30 for those people who thought they would ski all day and then go off and dine out before getting their baby. Believe me I raked in a lot of cash that way from people with a lot of money who tipped on top of it usually. I got the best moms through church to also be licensed and I used an answering machine the ski resort paid for to take all my calls for my services. Let’s just say when my abusive husband decided to push me around one day in late spring I was able to wait for him to leave for work and pack up my baby hand over the answering machine to my assistant sitter and wish her a wealth of happiness and drive away with over 12,000 in my personal bank account. that was in 1981. I could have probably been a very wealthy woman had I just be able to have my husband removed from my condo and me stay and continue to work that business I started.
be creative. think about what your area is lacking and provide the best of whatever it is.
i have only been married shy of four years with two young children. i want out but with no money and family my husband is all i have. i fear for my children loosing there father and me being alone. i just cant put up with all of the fighting and being sick from it all anymore. i am still young and have my whole life ahead of me. some say we got married to young. it seems to be true. how do i walk away or become strong enough to hold on or should i even try any longer.
i wanted to give just a few pieces of advice (nothing professional):
-there is a lot of good info out there – if you can’t afford to buy books (i wouldn’t because hopefully they are ONE TIME need only) go to your public library. if they don’t have the book you need, there is a service called inter-library loan where they can borrow it from another library. there may be a nominal $1 fee but much more affordable than borrowing.
-for those who don’t want to leave because they feel it will hurt their children: if you are arguing or not speaking, happy one day, angry or sad the next, think about how THAT affects your children as well. one of my favorite authors once said, “children are like walking video cameras.” they are a lot smarter and more aware than you think. which environment would be better – you, by yourself, raising them in a more peaceful, nurturing environment or what you currently have?
-hang in there. i know, but it’s really all you can do, so DO IT! constantly visualize a future for yourself. the one you want. a future where you are okay. i go to sleep every night thinking about me, living on my own in a house in phoenix, arizona with a big, wooden front door. it has a small entry way and a galley kitchen. it has a sunken living room. i’m in the kitchen looking fit as all get out, in my running clothes, when the doorbell rings. and it’s my soon-to-be-ex-husband. i’m kind and cordial and friendly and it seems we have a good relationship in my dream (which we kinda have now, just tainted with 28 years of cheating). he tells me he misses me, i say the same. he asks if we can start over and i say no. and off to dreamyland for me! i carry that dream around with me in my heart until God clears the way for me to leave. create your dream and carry it around until God clears the way for you. i pray you all receive peace in your lives. and thank you all for your sharing your stories.
Its actually really sad to see that so many of us are allowing this to happen to us. I too am in a unhappy marriage and want to get out but do not make enough money to survive on my own. I want to leave now and not wait but can’t and the state won’t help unless I divorce him and I can’t do that at this point. I have no close relatives that I can talk to because they all hate him and diowned me years ago and now I see why. I am sympathize with all of you and know what your going through. Hope that one day we all find our true happiness before its too late.
Hi I want to leave my husband but I dont want my kids hurting, we’ve been living with his mom on and off the whole time we’ve been married 7yrs now, now we’re living here again and its gotten really bad with his mom she puts me down cause i cant find a job even though I’ve been looking so hard I keep telling my husband he need to get me out of here I’ve been crying all day today he seen me and just walked of I really fell alone he say he love me but he’s never there for me when it come’s to his m I dont even fell like a woman anymore… I pray all the time that god help me I.m so tired, I dont know what to do nor say anymore I’m tired of him and his mom I have nothing anymore because of him I want and need to get out of this but how do I do that with two kids ??
Shalom Everyone, here is a tip, you can petition in your serogate court in your county whats called a emergency injunction and that will hopefully become a permanent injunction ( look it up ) and this will give you an opportunity to seperate and take some time, this will also give you some sort of reliefe, and you can apply for a stay away or refrain from order of protection, and custody if there is children, but first pray and seek a domestic violence counselor or someone you trust, you can talk about this all day, but know that this is not about divorce it is just about getting yourself back and forgiving your self and loving yourself, Know this and Remember Jesus loves you, blessings,
I have been married to an emotionally abusive man for 37 yrs…totally unhappy…He is so insecure..he has to put me down to make himself feel big…I am very Christian ..that’s why I have hung on.i feel like I am dying a slow death
Dear Suzy,
Thank you so much for sharing what you’re doing to get money to leave your husband! You are an inspiration and a survivor. Every little nickel and dime counts, and soon you’ll have more than enough money.
I had to add your tips to my article, because they are so practical and helpful.
If I come across ways to make money on the internet – such as filling out surveys, like you mentioned – I’ll post them here. That’s a fantastic idea.
I wish you all the best, and thank you for being here.
Blessings,
Laurie
Lets change this discussion and focus on ways to move forward. We all have a story and now we need to make things happen.
~I am collecting cans and turning them in for cash
~ I ask my neighbors if they have any odd paying jobs I can do?- Wash windows, weed gardens etc.
~ Take online surveys to make a few extra bucks a day (about $3, not a huge amount but it helps build my stash).
~Every few times I go to the grocery store or Walmart etc, I buy a $5 gift card. Even if can only do $.50 etc do it!
~ Sell household items on ebay. May only profit $.75 but again, all small steps leads to bigger rewards. kids your kids outgrown clothes etc. You would be amazed at what sells!
~ Use coupons to get free and store the TP, toothpaste etc in a box or at a friends. Again, little things add up. I have a box of Shampoo, toothpaste, soap, TP, etc ready to go. This will help me when I am starting out and not having to buy and spend what little money I have.
~
Dear Lulu,
It doesn’t feel like it right now, but you are on your way to a healthier, happier life! Maybe you’re crying all the time because you’re grieving the end of your marriage, and you finally know that you have to leave your husband once and for all.
I wrote this for you:
Why Do I Keep Going Back to Him?
I hope it helps. Let me know how you’re doing.
Blessings,
Laurie
Wow…. No real helpful advice just a bunch of book titles & self help waste of money…..
Women have searched this title on google looking for advice on how to go about leaving their husbands (which is why you’ve plugged so many books under this title). Number one reason is because they have no sorce of income they feel trapped (yes tell them to go and spend the money they don’t have on books).
i am 37 years old, i have been married to my husband for 18 years, we have six children together. I guess im a complete co-dependant and domestic violence victim(verbal, physical, and sexual). My husband i think is very mentally unstable. I am staying at my moms 30 miles away from him, he gets mad at me and throws me out, i got the police to stand-by as i went and got my children the next morning, cause he wouldnt let me have them. I have left him numerous times but me like a big dummy always gos back believing him that everythings gonna be alright, he calls crying with the same story all the time, like he doesnt know why he does it. This is taking such a big toll on my im not the same person no more, i want to be a good mom, but some days i just cant stop crying. And on top of everything, im broke, no money no car,and left him with only the clothes on our backs. How do i do this?
My husband and i have been married for 22 years coming up on 23. He has been physically abusive as of late to my youngest daughter,son, me and my mom. I also have to older children a son and daughter my childern ages are 16,18,21,22. The two oldest kids have now taken to their father and will do anything and everything to hurt me. My husband has as i have come to find out been cheating on my and planning to divorce me or 4 years i know for a fact he has another account and has put thousands of dollars in it while our joint account is in the red of over $200. He will give my youngest daughter money if she begs but the most he has ever given her is 60 dollars. Not only has all of this has occurred during our supposed marriage but he has turned to bestiality. My daughter and I both saw her dog licking his lower parts although he will never admit it. We called the police when he beat on us and was told in the report we were embellishing. Of course it doesn’t help that my husbands nephew is the governors right hand police officer. I don’t know what to do im out of funds living with my younger kids in our home with my mom and bills are getting sky high. I need out.
Hello
Married for 8 yrs. been together for 14have a 4 year old. I’ve been miserable no sex no communication no job I pay everything rent , bills etc. rather be with friends than his family or me. No relationship. I want a better life for me snd my child. Spends every dime I make on his stuff he thinks ges a teenager. I had enough I need a man!
I need peace and stability!
How do I get him out?
Iam sixty six years old. Married , miserable. He is a control freak. Everything is halfed.Even ask for half the gas to go in lawn mower.Pay my way when we go out to eat,when we go or do anything. iTS LIKE A PARTERNSHIP.. I want out really bad..help help….I dont have many years lefy has it is. Need advice on money enough to go
I am much like Thegoodwife, I’ve been a stay at home mom for the past 23+ years. House is always clean, gardens nice,raised 4 of our 5 kids to adulthood, I homeschool my kids and do my best to take care of my husband who is an emotionally abusive alcoholic. I had a “ah ha” moment today when I realized that staying is disrepecting myself because I am putting up with so much and have for the past 10 years of his addiction. I need to get out. I told him I wanted a divorce in Feb of this year and asked my mom and dad for help. They are divorced. My dad stopped talking to me. He believes divorce is wrong now because he still loves my mother after 30 years of them being divorced and my mom adores my husband and thinks I am crazy to leave when I have it “so good”. She says I need to stop doing things to upset my husband when he is drunk. That’s the end of my family that can help. I went back to school last year after finding a lump in my breast and thinking this could be the end and do I really want to spend it like this? I sold things to get that education. I almost wish I had sold things for a divorce as I am unable to find a job and am looking at more schooling. To which my husband likes to toss the cost in my face. I try to look for a job but he then says I need to be there for our youngest son. My thoughts then think of what would happen if I was at work and not here to protect my son from his father. It just feels like a mess but I really need to sort this out and find a way out of this nightmare. Living with a drunk is to stressful. I just don’t know where to start. Thank you for this article.
Dear Jay,
I’m sorry to hear how your husband has been treating you and your marriage. I’m glad he’s a good provider — but you’re right; it’s not enough. It sounds like you’ve already decided you want to leave your husband, but you need financial help.
I wrote this article to answer your question:
I’m a Stay at Home Mom – How Do I Divorce My Children’s Father?
I hope it helps, and invite you to write out how you’re feeling anytime. Writing really is good therapy!
Blessings,
Laurie
I am so sad in my marriage. I found out my hubby of 14yrs had been cheating on me. Actually, not the 1st or second time he has done this. Up to 4 active ladies at the same time as of Feb,2012. Was also in contact with three young ladies outside the country. He met them when he made his yearly trip to our country. Such a long story. I have tried to forgive but the pain is still there. He claimed to be sorry after weeks of not apologizing. I am a stay at home mom with 5 kids ages 12 to 1yr. I DESPERATELY want to leave. I have no means. My family is so far away. The pain of not leaving is killing me. As of three days ago, I found out he still had numbers to two of the ladies. I have NO trust at all concerning this guy. He is a pathological liar. I want to leave like crazy. Having him in my life is a growing cancer. Having to see in the house casts a deep cloud of saddness over me. There have been days we were fine but all it takes for me to feel sad again is the name of something or somebody and the old feelings come rushing in again. His b-day was last week and from the day before to this day, I have been so so sad. Why? Because, his two last b-days, he had a woman with him.Well, the one of last yr, he was suppossed to have the same girl but because they were not on good terms as of that time, it didn’t happen. So, this yr’s b/day was miserable for me because all I did was picture him with the other woman. What do i do? He is a good dad, more of a good provider for me and the kids but that is not enough for me. Pls, comment.
Jay
I have been told by my mom in law my husband was just too young… i mistakenly believed he was mature at 18 when i was 30… i wasnt looking for marraige and have had previous abuse from an ex. my second mistake was being honest with him about my past which he assured me id never hurt again. we have a 5 year old and have been married for 5 years. bank account is in his and his moms name. i lost my job and the cars are in his name. the house is in his moms name.
when she comes over theytalk outsideon the porch. worse i have a 13 yr old and 10 yr old was prior marraige living with and older daughters on their own. he got drunk last xmas as did my daughter and supposedly they ended up sleeping together. i tried to forgive ( shes 19) but now im too old too fat too stupis
d and dont know my place. sit when i say sit fetch my clothes do my dinner make sure i have work clothes to be successful blah blah… im a workhorse… a mule and he takes care of himself to porn and dirty stories on literotica and xhampster 18 young….
why stay? ive reserched and called and tried to get help. their is no help without my proof of rent. stepmom wont give it.
he wont let her. i also ended up stripping ( he said it turned him on my mistake for believing him and trying to save marraige)which failed and he says if i go to court or bring him down for slapping and choking me then he will tell them im a prostitute…. he will telly my daughters my family his family.. he hates me so much my 13 yr old gets grounded for everything bad shes does months at a time and screwams at her saying better to be feared than loved. she is in a behavior clinic i cant afford and he says hes not paying. she od on pills and is afraid to come home with him around. i need a place now but with no money ( i tried everything to save he finds it and i get in trouble w slapping or denial of sex… can i withdraw and move half of the money in that account? i have the debit card the bank knows me and i have our logins… wld i get in trouble for this? i put money in there all the time every time i get a job, sell a comp, clean a home ect…. he hoards it so he can leave me and to make sure i cant. please advice anyone? im losing friends family cant help and churches and shelters cant here either….
im losing hope to ever get out alive…
Gosh, thank goodness to read these posts so I’m not so alone. Its been 9 long years of marriage. I have to say I also feel trapped in that I am a stay at home mother of 2 children under 8. I also work part time from home doing three different jobs to make up extra cash as I have no “rainy day fund”. I used to have one of those funds and I kick myself for believing in my husband that our finances will turn around. We ended up using my rainy day fund to coast us along. I’m still in a financial tight position which I never thought I would be in at this age in my life. I used to have it all before marriage…a good paying career with all the bells and whistles (pension, stock plan, paid vacation, great position,) I had money in the bank, rsps and I owned a condo. I sold the condo to buy our house along with part of my RSP and he did chip in some money but my folks had to pay off a debt of his so we could actually get our place. I gave up my job/career to be a stay at home mother figuring we would live off his income which seemed surivivable as long as his income remained steady which it never has been in 9 years. The entir year is a roller coaster with my scrambling to find ways to make ends meet.Last year we almost filed BK but after I did lengthy hours of research realized we don’t need to go that route. (he’s shelfed the hole issue while I still today search for a solution which will be best) No one can touch us as we have no real assets. Long and short of this all, is that he also has been emotionally disconnected since our last child and works 7 days a week (avoidance I call it). Life is too short. I’m working hard still to bring in extra cash as he doesn’t always give me enough. As soon as he thinks I have money, he backs off. I really thought we would be able sit together and go over our finances once and for all…sorry this is so long. I guess I just don’t know how to get the guts to leave. I’ve been formulating a plan but I stop at the thought of my children. I just never fathomed that I would divorce but I don’t know how to stay in this marriage any longer. I will also feel very disconnected. I would love to move aross the entire country which would be devasting for the kids. Such at horrible spot to be in. I can still coast in this marriage but its financially and emotionally draining…pretending we are just a typical family? Dysfunctional. My folks are still married for over 50 years. They know what is going on but are committed to marriage…but I’ve been waiting for the flag for them to say…its ok to leave. I need a nudge..and clear path. I’m hoping I can find and learn through others postings. I just don’t know where to go and rebuild my life.
Though I have a master’s degree, I am unable to obtain a full-time teaching position in this awful economy. My husband’s salary and my part-time job barely keep us (and our three -17,14,11- children) afloat. He is emotionally abusive and I want out so very badly. The thing is, not only will he never leave the home without a fight, but paying for a divorce seems like a pipdream and worst of all my children will be devestated in so many ways. These hurdles seem insurmountable to me. Do I continue to wait for my children to grow up so that my life can begin?
My husband is the opposite of the non working man, he works 70 hours a week, pays the few bills we have. I worked until a few years ago when I took emergency custody of our grandchildren. What’s the problem? He is a financial hoarder. He has unknown amounts of hidden cash. He has closed our joint accounts and has opened them in his name alone. He’s so controlling with money that he even does the grocery shopping. I literally must ask for and then account for every penny I am given. I get a very small amount of child support from the children’s father, but it barely pays for their school expenses. At the present moment, I have 57 cents in my pocket. There is no chance of saving anything. I need to see a doctor, but have no money to do so. I have no family, my parents died years ago, no siblings. He’s always been this way, but it was never a problem as I was always financially independent until I was forced to leave my job. One of the children has special needs and needs someone here full time. They have always lived in our home and I refuse to consider turning them over to anyone but their mother who is finally seeing successful sobriety. I am now in my 50′s, with no savings and no access to any cash and no where to go. He sees a person like me, with no job as having no value and is growing more and more emotionally abusive by the day. It doesn’t matter that I take care of our home, I don’t earn an income so I am worthless in his eyes. He’s never been a pleasant person, but now he is just hateful and mean. He really sees me and the kids as a huge burden. This is what truly being trapped is all about. I know I am depressed, I am sick of not being able to provide the kids with anything but necessities and not being able to do anything unless he approves. I am also very concerned about my health. I have a car, it rarely has more than 1/4 tank of gas. I have managed in a years time to save about $30 in change. I will be dead before I can afford to leave. I look back and ask myself how this happened..but I know the answer. I was dedicated to my family…that’s how this happened.
Hello,
i live a very different life then most women in the 20th century.im a stay at home mom with 4 children. i have the home spick and span and dinner on the table by 5. mind you every night at 5 for the past 16 years. my husband and i have comfortably settled into our roles as provider and homemaker like a fifty’s sitcom. i am now in my 40ies and have taken a long hard look at who i wish i could be….im what people would call a “kept wife” and its so crazy…how did i let it get like this? the women at our local bus stop talk of trips and family adventures…the closest i get to adventure is the weekly supermarket trip. he has complete control of all money..all cars..our home..etc. i have always been grateful for him assuming the entire responsibility…now im not so sure…feeling really scared because i want to be free…i want to leave him!!!! help
I have been married for 12 1/2 years. I never see my husband because of the way we work,it has really taken a toll on our marriage. I look forward to seeing him and he looks forward to anything but that.. We havent made love in over a year and I just feel so unloved… Sex is definitly not everything but we dont hold hands or hug or kiss unless we r saying good-bye. I just feel so alone and lost, just need some advise… Please!!!!
Im stuck and saving but, may take forever. I have 4 kids one is starting college so he is ok. My other 3 have to have me. I have a 9 yr. old son that has autism and is nonverbal and my only family is 600 miles away. All I get is I will pray for you. I received a small inheritance and put down on our home and had monies to buy my son a car. He blew that plus took out loans and credit cards and I can’t even get school clothes for my kids now. He was seeing this woman on the side when we got this house. A job don’t know bc there are no daycare or afterschool for my disabled child.here u have to live apart 60 days and then have a legal separation before social services will help. I have been married 20 yrs. everything is in his name no one wants to deal with my son so I will save forever and then go to my mothers. He wants me gone and just sickens me.bc I want to be outta here. My kids are 6,9,16,and 18. I am very blessed bc they are great kids and my son has lots of therapy and no one or place will accept him..I do have a plan but good things will come. I’m sure of it.. Up where my mom is I could at least find a church I could attend that accepts special needs.
D.kirk, are you kidding me? Obviously women can be equally distructive in a marriage, the author didn’t claim otherwise, however, that isn’t what this article is about. (Why are you even reading/commenting on this article?) You ‘find women use their emotion as their main driver’? As compared to what, using our dicks? Oh, right, men are entirely logical. It comes down to this, if a woman doesn’t want to be with her spouse anymore she doesn’t have to be, period. Cry all you want that you are taking your vows seriously while your wife is ‘stretching the boundaries’ and ‘immaturely’ misbehaving. Take my word for this, i guarantee your wife is completely miserable if this is how you consider her. Frankly, you don’t deserve a woman. You are falling victim to the whole spirit of the point you were trying to make, that so often we hate the circumstances that we played a role in bringing about. Even with that being said, she can leave your ass if she wants to, for any or no reason. Screw the vows (that’s just my opinion, but don’t get me started on marriage).
Dear 2 old 2 Be Stuck ,
I had an ill child and left, it took me 7 years of saving in a jar i barried in the back yard but I left and fled to a sheltter, I just couldn’t take the physical abuse or the verbal belitting any more, I had a daughter whom had left due to this at only 16 and she had my grandbaby, I had a 3 year old when I left, and my 16 year old was living with her boyfirneds parertns we went into a shelter. Its been 2 years now and I am out of the shelter and on my own, it was hard, and misreble and at times I thiought of crawling back becasue it would have been easier, but it gets better. I just had to keep thinking about the effect it was all having on my kids, and while the sccrafice was hard, it was worth it. Get some therpy at a free clininic and get into a support group, I was in both for many years before I could actually leave, but you can do it. I’m not going to lie to you I am poor as poor now but there is peace in my life and my kids don’t have to be in a hostel enviornment anymore, and eventally the money will come, I’ll find something better or get better training to make a better wage. Its hard to be poor but harder to hate each waking day, get out before you loose the strenght to care anymore, you can do it, I started out by using coupons at the grocery store, each .50cent off i save off the groceries, I put in that jar, he was never the wiser to it, every can or plastic bottle i recycled change in the jar, every beer that soab drank I recycled the dang can it adds up quick.
Hi i am 35 years old and I’m stuck in a loveless marriage i have three wonderful children and no job my husband works from 7am till 4 pm he just got done from being gone for two years and now he’s back to his old self sometimes i think. He loves me like the stars and then he calls me a name I’m not asking for a romeo but at least he can not call me words in frount of family i have thought about leaving ..driving my. car off a bridge or wishing someone would break in our house rapeing me to the point of death and seeing if he even would care starting to belive if i hung myself he wouldn’t even notice…i really could ues any advice
This is just amazing as far as advice when it comes to destroying a marriage. I find women to equally be capable of sabotaging their marriage in many ways and are often extremely destructive when they do it.
To many practice the art of manipulating what they perceive to be true to suit their desire to bring about the demise of their relationship at their husband’s expense. I’ve seen it too often. I’ve watched women force their husbands into untenable positions. I’ve been married for 25 years now and have come to full realization that a spouse (husband or wife) can be limited in his/her maturity level, known as arrested development. Both men, just like women, can be lacking in maturity to the point where they tend to be destructive in relationships, thus make bad partners.
So tell me how do you address such behavior, if you are man who believes in his vows, while your wife strives to stretch the boundaries, but doesn’t learn to control herself appropriately? It makes life with such a person very challenging and difficult, especially not knowing when she’s going to behave badly, thus immaturely.
So women can be equally as abusive as males and even more so in today’s society. They often get away with it and the male is considered the pariah most of the time.
If a husband is a bad husband, cheats on his wife, then do what you need to do, but make sure its true, and not a perception that has been made into reality when its untrue. I find that many women use their emotions as their main driver, rather than sensible reasoning, thus faulty perceptions becomes a skewed reality. To forgive a cheater takes a tremendous amount of inner strength to overcome. Even in such cases, make sure that you (husband or wife) are not driving your spouse into another persons arms as a result of being disrespectful. Cheating is just a bad thing and does significant damage to a marriage. Forgiveness is key, but if you can’t get rid of the emotional anguish that comes with it, then move on in amicable way. Remember at some point you did claim to “love” the person.
Majority of counselors these days are not worth their weight in gold anymore. In most cases they have issues that they push on their patients, resulting from a failed relationship they had. So be careful, if you pursue counseling. Counseling is good way to help a couple to heal, provided that both people are being honest. If one person (husband or wife) can’t be honest, then do not waste your time and money.
Before ending the relationship, make sure you are not pushing his buttons to make him into a non performing husband. I find that many women these days emasculate their husbands, thus the husbands withdraw and shutdown as a result when its actually the women who has not learned to respect her husband. Decent husband will do responsible and honorable things, but they are still human, thus respect goes a long ways. Too many women today for some reason seem not to get this at all, thus ruin their relationships intentionally….and never learning that maybe she is the problem.
I know this, because my wife keeps trying to do this. I keep forgiving her, but she consistently hits below the belt. Remember the gift of the tongue that is prone to females can do a lot of damage, and yet women end up being surprised and vilifying the man(husband) because they do not want to face the truth about their own behavior.
we’ve been together 17 yrs married for 7. two fantastic kids 13 and 11. the house comes with his job. he works on the property under contract gets paid a small amount biweekly but doesnt have rent or utilities besides cable, and cell phone. we do have other bills of course like credit cards, car payment, etc. at this point i stay not only because of money, but because of the kids. i dont want it to affect them or the positive future that is ahead of them as a result of their superb academic achievements thus far. i dont hav family to support me until i get on my feet…i have gone back to school trying to work on getting a good paying career since i had kids first…im searching like crazy for a job and it hasn’t been looking very promising but as soon as i get something i plan on getting my own seperate account and saving…it seems like its going to take forever im not getting any younger..it might have been helpful if we owned our own house we could sell and split the profit for a new start. besides the birth of my kids it feels like wasted time
Men are main cause of womens strife most often in life.. simply because they’ve abandon their traditional role of being a real man, standing up and properly supporting their families. I have no respect for any man who doesn’t work or have a job, and any man who abuses a weaker vessel is outright satanic! If you find yourself living a nightmare with such a man, you do whatever you have to, to leave & support yourself and kids! Life is to precious & short to let a miserable man ruin it!
2 kids been together for 8yrs & no we are not married. he quit his job to be a stay @ home dad (what?! i know) but i swear it was to be lazy!
Our 6yr old is in camp he is mad that i pay $350 bi-weekly 4 her to attend i pay $1100 for rent @ work am making $9 an hr part time! 30hrs max.
How do I do it….our youngest collects SSI each month for her which only lets me add $400 to rent every month (they know this) I only get food stamps thats like $300 every month so you do the math & ask me how am doing it? my mom gives me the extra $400 each month for my rent so that her grandchildren won’t be homeless (AGAIN) i can take my daughter out of camp but my boyfreind doesn’t go any where or do anything with our kids, when he worked he made salary & only paid rent i never saw a dime go to our household or kids now i make sure he atleast has a $20 bill because he is with the kids i would kick him out but his family member is our landlord & i can’t get daycare unless am on welfare so done with life but my kids need me!
I’ve read the tips on financial advice on leaving a marriage but I don’t think it would work for my situation. 3 years ago, after I lost my home when our business failed (yes I stupidly put it up as collateral) I’m ineligible for any kind of bank account (I worked in that sector for 20 years – & due to bad credit prevents me from working in banking again as well). So lets say I save funds & hide in an envelope, that won’t work either because every dollar I’m allowed has to go back into the household expenses. My youngest son, still living at home works close by & if I leave, he has to leave w/me making us both homeless & would prevent him from getting to work. It’s a part-time job he finally got after 3 years searching, he’s also Type I diabetic (he is not my spouse’s son) & costs of test strips, 2 insulin types, etc. make leaving nearly impossible. If I were to go to a family member, I would then have to drive 20 miles each way simply to take my son to work & he can’t support both of us. I have been looking for work for five years and due to my poor credit found that every pay check is substantially garnished as my current husband never filed for bankruptcy which he promised to do. Both of our credit rating was destroyed by the business failure (previously both highest rating) yet as always he is unscathed by it & secured a job in the financial field through the good ol’ boy network where we live. The reason my credit is worse is the house was in my name & the bank that should have had a 1st lien failed to file at the courthouse so when the bs bank lien realized they were in 1st place via default, they claimed 1st place & the other bank filed against me personally instead upon foreclosure. The mistake was their doing but I’m paying personally for it whereas the business failure was a separate issue. There are also no churches in my area that would give any kind of handout to someone they don’t know and if they did, it would be a street beggar’s amount & not helpful enough on a monthly basis for food, sustenance & meds which both my son and I are currently on (mine is high blood pressure & thyroid). I’m in a terrible situation as it concerns obtaining work, money, and health care if I leave. My husband is constantly bullying me about money and the stress has become unbearable over the years. I appreciate the suggestions on finance above, but due to my son’s health obligations & the driving distance of my family; I’m at a disadvantage. I say this not out of “I don’t really want to try” I say it out of the knowledge that comes from working in the financial industry for so many years, running my own bs for five years & knowledge of what’s available locally. We live in a very rural area with no financial support system & a drive so far away that gas becomes cost prohibitive. Sorry if I sound like a whiner, but I’ve thought this through, I’ve worked calculations, and I am at a loss. I don’t know what advice you can help me with but any would be appreciated. (My son doesn’t qualify for SS benefits/disability; I do not either as it must be physical or mental, neither of which apply)
Hi Wadi,
Thank you for commenting. I’m sorry your husband isn’t giving you money for things you desperately need. Maybe you feel powerless and trapped, which aren’t good feelings.
If you have a specific question, I can try to help. Do you want to try to change your husband, or do you want to get money so you can leave him? If you just need someone to talk to, I welcome your thoughts here.
Blessings,
Laurie
My husband gives no finiancial support wants more kids does not bring any money I only needed five dollars to buy medicine he had but won’t give me I feel so bad. I’ve been going thru this for 9yrs. I’ve tried to get him to help but he doest care