How do you leave a bad marriage with no money? Here are 13 ways and three books to help you get money to leave your husband, inspired by a comment from a reader who feels trapped in her relationship.
Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally: What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, and After Divorce by Jeffrey A. Landers will help you create a plan to leave your husband when you have no money. It’s important to start thinking ahead, to figure out how your divorce will unfold.
One of the most important things to deal with pronto is how you feel. If you feel powerless and helpless, you won’t have energy or confidence to work towards getting money to leave your husband.
Here’s what one reader says: “I had two kids was pregnant with my third [while he was sleeping around],” says C. on Should I Leave My Cheating Husband? “I have nowhere to go. I lost my job, and I am trying to finish school. I don’t have money to leave. I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt, scared, sad, angry and just alone now. I have three beautiful kids with him and I hate to think how much this will hurt them. I can’t believe I was a fool and let him do this to me time after time.”
I don’t have magic tips on how to leave a bad marriage with no money. As you can see from the comments below, there are no easy answers! But, one of the first things wives who have no money (or even financially independent women) need to do is start taking control of their lives. You’ll never have enough money to leave your husband without feeling scared or anxious – but you can learn as much as you can about money and your financial future.
13 Ways to Get Money to Leave Your Husband
These tips are all about taking action. If you really want to change your life and leave a guy who doesn’t love or honor you, you need to start moving forward. You can’t get financial support unless you start reaching out for it. Once you start reaching out with a positive mindset, you’ll be shocked at how easily money will come to you.
Here’s what one reader told me she’s doing to earn money to leave her marriage:
- Collecting cans and turning them in for cash
- Asking my neighbors if they have any odd paying jobs I can do, such as washing windows, weeding gardens, etc.
- Taking online surveys to make a few extra bucks a day (about $3, not a huge amount but it helps build my stash)
- Every few times I go to the grocery store or Walmart etc, I buy a $5 gift card. Even if can only do $.50 etc do it!
- Selling household items on ebay. May only profit $.75 but again, all small steps leads to bigger rewards. kids your kids outgrown clothes etc. You would be amazed at what sells!
- Using coupons to get free and store the TP, toothpaste etc in a box or at a friends. Again, little things add up. I have a box of Shampoo, toothpaste, soap, TP, etc ready to go. This will help me when I am starting out and not having to buy and spend what little money I have
Every journey starts with a few small steps – and sometimes the best step is visualizing what you’ll say when you leave your husband (even if you don’t have the money yet!). Read How to Tell Your Husband You Want a Divorce.
7. Speaking of visualization, have you heard about the Secret? Just Ask the Universe: A No-Nonsense Guide to Manifesting your Dreams by Michael Samuels describes how the Secret can help you get money to leave your husband. If your thoughts are clear and in harmony with your mind and the truth of your surroundings, your life can be filled with all the richness the Universe has to offer. This book describes how to achieve personal power to overcome any barrier. If you don’t believe God is “on your side”, you might try this book out.
8. Remember that help is out there – but you have to ask for it. Many financially dependent wives say they have no help, nobody to support them, nobody to go stay with. They may feel that way, but it’s not the truth. How do I know? Because if my neighbor came over and said she has no money to leave her husband and asked me for help, I’d do something. I may not give her money, but I’d help her and her kids in some way.
I also know that wives who feel alone aren’t really alone because my mom was a single parent. She was also schizophrenic, and we moved to new city every six months or so. She had no friends, no money, and a severe mental illness…and yet she managed to find money help! How did she find it? She went to Social Services, to churches, and to my grandma for help. Don’t think of yourself as “trapped” – though I know that if you’re looking for ways to get money to leave your husband, that’s exactly how you feel. Focus on the fact that you WILL get money to leave your husband. It’s just a matter of time and planning. And taking action.
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9. Create a plan to leave your marriage – it’ll make asking for financial help easier. Sit down, give the “poor me I have no money to leave my husband” a rest, and put your brains to work. How much money does it cost to feed and educate your kids? Forget about the frills – kids don’t need iPhones, laptops, or video games. Can you stay with family while you save money for your own place? How will you support yourself?
If you have specific plans to leave, you may find it easier to ask for financial help. If you’re asking family for money help, read about loans between family members.
If you’re internet-savvy, read books like How to Make Money Online by Mike Omar. You can learn how to make money from home; his book offers a step-by-step plan to build a $5,000 per month – but getting money to leave your husband won’t happen overnight. It will take work.
10. Learn what types of financial support you’re eligible for. Talk to Social Services about financial resources for single parents. Start by calling the office closest to you. If they can’t offer money or other help, ask them for three other numbers to call. Call your church, and talk to your pastor. Don’t just ask for financial and spiritual support; ask for practical resources that can help you leave. Ask to be connected with other women who were financially dependent, who rebuilt their lives.
Every three months, canvassers from the Single Parents Food Bank come to our door, asking for donations. My husband gives money every single time because he knows single parents need money help because raising kids is expensive. But it’s not impossible, my friend!
11. Open your own savings or checking account. Many financially dependent women don’t have their own chequing or savings accounts. No problem! Even if you only have $10 to your name, you need to get to the bank and start your journey to financial dependence…and perhaps even wealth! And yes, single income families often live close to the poverty line. I grew up poorer than dirt – we even slept outside a few times. But I grew up to be a strong, vibrant, smart, educated, motivated, happy, Christian woman. I learned resilience and strength from my single parent childhood – and I respect my mom, who had no money and nowhere to go, but she left her husband.
If you can’t get money to leave your husband, read How to Cope When You’re Unhappily Married.
12. Stay focused on your future. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and depressed about the journey you’re about to go on. Don’t let negativity or fear stop you from leaving your husband! Stay focused on what you will achieve in your life, and how much better it will be for your kids and yourself. Write down your goals for a year from now: how much money do you want to be making? What friends do you want to spend time with? How do you want to spend your days? Remember that it takes time to save enough money to leave your husband.
13. Get strength from women who felt financially trapped, but left their husbands. “I was in that situation for 23 years,” says shygrneyzs on I need to leave my husband, but I have no help, on AskMeHelpDesk.com. “I finally opened up my own checking account, started saving a bit at a time, and made plans. When I finally made up my mind to leave, it took less than a month to finalize the plans. I gave myself a deadline and stuck to it. When you stay in a marriage like that, you enable every negative behavior your husband possesses. You become the martyr.”
One final tip for women who need help leaving their husbands when they have no money: Ask yourself, “Am I better off with or without him?” If you feel weak, read Need Strength to Leave a Relationship? 6 Ways to Get Strong Now.
Do you need to get money to leave your husband? I welcome your comments, but I can’t give you advice on leaving your marriage when you don’t have money (or even if you do have money!).