Comments on: Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair

By: Broken hearted

Broken hearted — Fri, 25 May 2012 11:46:04 +0000

Please help! So my husband (of 2 years married, 5 together, son together) was caught cheating with his baby momma(who is scum and a horrible mother) he didn’t want to admit it. Finally he admitted it and said it happened twice. He said he was stupid and ha everything he wanted at home and we had a nice family and relationship, yet he cheated twice. He claims he learnt his lesson and he doesn’t want to lose me. He apologized for everything and we decided to work it out, problems still pending:/. Problem is, I can trust him, which will take time I know. Everytime she comes picks up the kids, these feelings come up. I’m hurt, disrespected, ashamed, embarrassed and my self esteem is so low. How can we move past this and will he ever cheat again? I want to see a marriage counselor but can’t. Really afford it so Anyones opinion would help:) Does anyone know if I can go thought a local agency like YWCA etc for counseling?

By: tonya

tonya — Tue, 22 May 2012 19:43:57 +0000

The other night my husband and I were leaving a party,he of coarse had too much too drink and I don’t drink at all.He instantly started calling me names,telling me how fun I’m not and how he can’t stand me.I didn’t say anything thinking he would settle down.But seems that made him more angry.Then he blurted out that he cheats on me all the time and stuck his fist through the window.Well then he tried to take the comment back by saying nobody would want him.I would not find it hard to believe if he were haveing a fling or some one nighters as I would think.He goes to the bar alot with his buddies and sometimes I don’t see him until morning.I just need to know if he is and figure out how to catch him in the act…I have checked his phone and can’t find a thing.I am stummped on this one.But I also have been emotionally abused by him for the past 18 years it may be time for me to just give up.

By: JM

JM — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:05:28 +0000

A year ago my husband received an email from a female worker with a bikini picture attached. The email said meet me in the gym at 12.15..you own me a pilates class. I confronted her and him with the email and they claimed it was a big joke. The road to mistrust started there and a year later I still don’t trust them. I had checked his phone log and found a call to her house 15 minutes long and once again I confronted her and him with it and they claimed it was all business. I have been keeping track of my husbands erectile dysfunction meds and today discovered one was gone and he is planning a business trip to Calgary. I confronted him with this and he got angry and defensive and claims I am paranoid and suspicious. The red flags seem to always be explained away somehow and it’s my paranoid mind that is inventing all of this. I have come to realize he is a weak pathetic person who can’t build any trust in his marriage and frequently puts our marriage on the line for a piece of tail and to get his ego stroked. I plan on divorcing him and won’t waste any more time with someone who has no respect for our marriage. Infidelity is a sign of no respect for the spouse who is hurt by it, the relationship and the cheating husband has absolutely no respect for himself.

By: Eyal

Eyal — Tue, 08 May 2012 13:41:53 +0000

To Livi, clearly your story has nothing really to do with the topic here, your husband is not cheating, nor is he lying to you.

Think of porn as drinking coffee. sure too much is bad, but in most cases it does no harm.

having friends (and family) send me pron is a little on the “I’d rather not” side, but there’s nothing really wrong with it.

why he deleted some and not all? same reason I don’t delete ANY of my SMS on the phone, it take too long, and it’s pointless.

you want proof that your husband is not cheating on you? tell him something like this:”I noticed the other day you have a whole bunch of msg’s in the phone, I bet it’s a hastle to delete them, while you go have your shower/watch tv/something, would you like me to help you in deleting your read msg’s?”

I bet he won’t mind (proving that he doesn’t care if you “find out” about thoes msg’s) and after you delete about 10, you’d realize why he didn’t delete them all, it’s just too frustrating.

so in short, relex.

By: Livi

Livi — Mon, 07 May 2012 18:18:02 +0000

Im 27 and married 7 years, have 3 young children (6,4 &3). My oldest just had surgery and my husband and I stayed with him at the hospital. When my husband finally left for work he forgot his phone. I decided to look through his mesages and the only thing I found was his friends/coworkers sending him pornographic photos of women a couple days before our son was sick. And I realized we had sex on that day. Then I saw he was texing the pictures to other friends right after getting them (work hours). So I decided to look through everything and I found more photos and videos from his brother who is engaged to my sister. What bothers me most is that he never erased them and that he is sending them out too and making coments to his friends about being with them. He also has his friends sent him womens number, none of which I found on his call history. A couple days later I asked him if he was thinkin about being with someone else. And he said no that he only wants to be with me but that I always ask the same thing and that one day I might push him to do it. We hadnt had sex for three weeks and that night we had sex. The next day he accidentally left his phone and I checked and he had erased some of the most recent pictures but he haad left the older one. It makes me think if he didnt erased the before why now after I ask. So later also in workig hours he gets a text from his brother, I open it and its more pornographic videos. What should I do about it? Should I comfront him about it or should I dismised as a guy thing? And what about my sister, do I tell her what her fiance is sending to my husband? I really love my husband but I dont want to be an idiot. I dont know what to do , i’m a stay at home mom of 3 young children, I need to make the right decision for me and for them.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 10:38:48 +0000

Hello,
I am not married. My boy friend and I were seeing each other for a little over a month, and he asked me out about 3 weeks ago. I have a hard time reading him, and he jokes around a lot. I know that I have a lot of insecurities, and he picks on me about them. He jokes with me about things, nothing specific, but I just have this feeling that he hides talking to other girls from me. I think he thinks I will be mad if he’s talking to girls, but I don’t care if it isn’t inappropriate, but I think he’s been in bad relationships. I can’t really explain it, and I don’t know if he makes comments to test me or to try to get me to stop talking about exs and making him uncomfortable, but I wish he could just tell me how he feels. For instance, the other day I was going to go lay down in his room, and he said, hold on I need to go in there first. He’s had a cold, so I don’t know if he was cleaning up or what. I don’t know what to think. One time I was at his house, and he told me to go upstairs and go lay down. He said he was going to eat and be up in a minute, but then he was on the computer. He was being very weird about it. I went to the bathroom 5 minutes later, and I came down to ask him a question, and he was chatting with someone on facebook. He seemed really nervous about it. I was ready to leave, but he drove me and my phone was dead. About 10 minutes later he came upstairs, and I think it took him a minute to realize that I was upset, and although neither one of us said anything, I know that he was telling me things non-verbally and kissing my ass. He should have been smart and logged off right away realizing that he could have ruined us (I’m just now thinking of this, and to me, he chose to sit on the computer- even though I hid my reaction). He asked me out a week or 2 later, and we hang out almost every day, and he picks me up.
I know that he isn’t into romantic talk, but he’s told me I’m beautiful, and he loves my body, etc. He is very cuddly, and he pays when we go somewhere, and I know that he cares about me. I don’t know if it is my insecurities and the fact that I need to be told how much I’m needed regularly, (I have always had doubts and insecurities to these extremes) but I worry that I am just convenant to be with. I see the way he looks at me (which is awesome), and I know I take his breath away. I just wish he could feel more secure with me and tell me he talks to girls, but they are just friends, and I know I need to tell him how I feel
How do I find out if he is still pursuing other girls?

By: Been There

Been There — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:47:12 +0000

There’s a lot in these comments to suggest that women operate on projection: if we think you’re cheating, it must be because we are cheating. Baloney. If someone is asking you if you are cheating, believe me, the response they want is, “of course not, I would never do that to you. Why are you asking me?” At that point she will give you the reasons for her suspicions. If you actually listen, the mystery will be solved. No, she’s not vastly insecure or had terrible experiences in the past with other men. Instead, it might go something like this: you always disappear on our weekends off, you get too chummy and personal with the girls and women at work, you always talk about porn and strip clubs, you say you are the only decent man out there because every other man goes to strip clubs (talk about projection), you oversexualize every woman – instead of them just being flakes or incompetent, these other women in your life must be damaged because they have been molested, you talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives or female coworkers all the time, she found naked pictures of women on your phone or computer and you said they were sent by some unwanted entity resulting from an underwear search, you hid something relating to sex from her before you were married and now she can’t completely trust you, and the list goes on. But, of course, when she brings these weird behaviors to your attention, you tell her that she has severe psychological problems stemming from her childhood, is insecure, and is the source of your marital problems. Then you proceed to storm out and take off. Wise up. If your wife is suspicious of you, it’s because you are behaving suspiciously. She wants to trust you, but your behavior is causing pain. How she would love to believe it is all in her head.

By: Savannah

Savannah — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 21:24:21 +0000

my husband gets mad when i ask him to do anything, i am 5 1/2 months pregnant and high risk. my baby tried to come last night, he was supposed to get off at 6 but called me at 558 and said he’ll be working til 9 and he’ll meet me at the hospital when he’s done working. so i told him if i go alone i will have the baby early. i have asked him in the past who women were calling his phone and he gets very defensive telling me i don’t need to “snoop” through his phone, yet he gave it to me to use while mine is turned off…he doesn’t want me in any way any more and it hurts…3 children later and i’m not good enough anymore?…what do i do?

By: Laurie

Laurie — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 16:57:08 +0000

Hello Sue, Nina, Tammy, everyone!!

I’m sorry I can’t offer personal advice or help. I just don’t know enough about your relationship or marriage to give you advice! All I can do is give you a few things to think about, and encourage you to talk to a counselor or friend that you trust.

I wrote another article on how to tell if your husband is lying, with different tips to think about:

Is Your Boyfriend Telling Lies? How to Find Out the Truth

I hope it helps, and again offer my apologies for not being able to give you personal help.

Blessings,
Laurie

By: Sue

Sue — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:50:47 +0000

I have a similar situation. My guy went to a destination wedding with his family and there are photos of him consistently with a attractive blonde woman. In the pictures they appear in close proxity. (sitting beside eachther at bar, excursions, lunch, walking along beach) yet he says he doesnt know her that she was a stranger. When questioned he gets defensive ( although I am persistent so I may be the cause of this) tells me I am imagining things.His family was there and I feel awkward as subtle hints have emerged.( son saw her coming out of the hotel room-claims his son was drunk so he is mistaken…) I asked him to explain the pictures he said she was alone and he probable felt bad and chatted with her…The pictures depicted look like they were a couple////lies bother me, the truth would be so much easier to deal with…how do I get the truth?