Is Your Husband Cheating? 5 Signs He’s Having an Affair
How to Tell If Your Man is Cheating and Lying
How do you know if your man is cheating and lying about it? These signs your husband or boyfriend is having an affair are from marriage counselor Gary Neuman.
On the Dr Oz show, Neuman revealed the signs a man is cheating, plus four ways to spot a lying husband.
“More than 50% of all men have cheated in a love relationship,” says Dr Oz. “Trying to rebuild trust after an affair seems impossible.” In his audience that day, 30% of women think they’ve been cheated on…but not everyone knows for sure.
I’m so glad I watched the Dr Oz show today – his tips for love relationships were fascinating! And his guest was M Gary Neuman, the author of The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, who described five signs a man is cheating.
And, Janine Driver of the Body Language Institute shared four ways to know if your husband is lying about cheating.
Gary Neuman and Dr Oz Talk About Husbands Who Cheat
Here are several reasons men cheat:
- Monogamy not part of a man’s nature. Biology makes men want to have as many kids as possible, so they cheat with as many female partners as possible.
- Power, opportunity, money increases testosterone. The more testosterone a man has, the more likely he is to cheat.
- Specific genes makes men men more likely to cheat. Scientists are studying a “cheating gene”, which involves decreased levels of vasopressin.
- Husbands aren’t appreciated at home, so they cheat.
- Men aren’t able to emotionally connect with their wives or partners, so they cheat.
How Do You Know If Your Marriage is in Danger?
M. Gary Neuman has been a marriage therapist for 23 years. He wrote The Truth about Cheating
This relationship counselor says 92% of men who cheat are sexually satisfied at home. Only 8% of men cheat because they want more physical intimacy. A whopping 48% say they’re missing an emotional connection at home, so they cheat on their wives.
The women men cheat with are not better looking, younger, or skinnier than their wives. In fact, 88% of men say their affairs are with women who aren’t more beautiful than their wives.
Surprisingly, 77% of husbands who cheated had best friends who also cheated on their wives. This means that the friends men have can make or break a love relationship.
5 Signs Your Man is Having an Affair
- He’s not as interested in physical intimacy as he was before
- He avoids physical and emotional contact
- He criticizes you more often
- He picks fights or starts arguments with you
- He stays away from home
According to Gary Neuman, a woman’s gut is the most important indicator that a man is cheating.
Neuman also said that lying is worse than the actual cheating. Husbands try to convince their wives that she’s crazy for thinking he’d have an emotional or physical affair – which is so destructive to her self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image.
4 Ways to Tell if He is Lying About Cheating
Janine Driver of the Body Language Institute shares four fascinating ways to tell if a husband is cheating on his wife and lying about it.
1. Ways of talking can indicate that he’s lying. Wives know their husbands; if he changes how he normally talks or behaves, then he might be cheating or lying. If he doesn’t usually talk in a high pitch or swiftly, then he’s trying to hide something.
2. Specific statements are indications of lying about cheating. When a husband says, “I know you think I’m lying” – they’re saying I’m lying. When they say “You may not believe me, but I’m telling the truth” – then they’re telling the truth. Lying husbands actually tell the truth, cushioned in lies. (Note that this can’t be 100% accurate because if a man knows this, he’ll change the way he speaks, right?).
3. Nonverbal body language is a sign of cheating. Driver calls this the “belly button rule.” When we’re telling the truth and are with people we like, admire, and trust, we face our belly buttons towards them. When your husband is lying about cheating, he’ll turn away from you – and you know he’s cheating! If their belly button faces the door or exit, it’s because subconsciously they want to leave or escape. Also, a shoulder shrug should never accompany a definitive statement. Driver said to never believe verbal statements over nonverbal body language. Also – wrapping legs around leg of chair is a sign of restraint, of holding back, and not being honest. Leaning away from you is a sign of a cheating, lying husband because we lean away from things we want to avoid.
4. Emotional reactions to questions can be a sign of cheating and lying. If you confront your husband about your suspicion that he’s having an affair, and he gets angry, defensive, or overreacts emotionally, then it’s a sign that something’s up. Driver also mentioned that lying husbands tend to laugh nervously or make accusations towards their wives.
For more relationship tips, read Is Your Marriage Good or Bad? 3 Myths About Being Married.
Do you think your man is cheating — and lying about having an affair? Comments welcome below.
Category: Emotional Affairs, Marital Infidelity
If you think he’s cheating…….HE IS!!!!! Be strong and show these men why they need women.
o.k. here it goes my husband of 15yrs. has always included me im everythig we r like bestfriends.up untill about a month he says nothihg is going on but i am so sick 2 stomach. i also foung his cell phone with very graffic details from the girl & ny husband. ANY ADVISE!!!!!! ANYONE PLZ.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, I found out that my husband was having an ‘emotional affair’ with his college fling. They were constantly in touch throughout the 7 years I have been married. And when I got pregnant last year, the email communication increased and my husband actually went off to him home town to meet this woman. He claims that they only had lunch and that if he ever did sleep with her or had taken their relationship to a physical level he would not continue our marriage.
I found romantic emails and lewd pictures only recently and since then I’m trying to grapple with the reality of a cheating husband, whether or not I want to stay in the relationship and if so, how to work towards a better marriage, and if I decide to leave, get myself enough support and become financially stable for myself and my new born.
So i’m going to try and sum up my problem. My husband is in the army and we have been married for over 4 years. We’ve been apart for almost half of our relationship due to school and the army. The past 2 months my husband has been living in Missouri without me and our 2kids and one on the way. For the past 2 weeks i have noticed a change in his behavior towards me. He used to call me like 5 times a day and now it’s been like once or twice a day for 5-10mins each. That is what started spiking my concern. Then 4 days ago i received our cell phone bill in the mail and we had been charged overage charges due to too many text messages. I noticed that he has texted a specific number over 200 times over the last 2 weeks. when slyly confronted about it he played it off like no big deal. i let a day go by before confronting again. He then told me he and a much younger friend met a couple of girls at a bar and my husband was just being the “wingman” for his friend. When i asked if anything happened with this girl he said no and that he is very happily married to me. He also stated that he just didn’t know how to tell this girl to stop texting. With that being said, I took what he said and sort of believed him. He has never lied to me before, but even it were true about him just being the “wingman” for his friend, then why did he give her his number… let alone keep texting her. I need some advice asap on what to do or how to go about confronting him again. What do i do? Thank you in advance for any advice you can give.
I am in some desperate need of advice before I start ripping my hair out of my head.
My Husband and I, seem to be having a change in our relationship. Our intimacy has came to a hault, we went from numberous times per day to maybe 1-3 times per month since March. In March I was having medical problems from an IUD and had to have it removed. At this point my Husband did not mind. His patterns have changed drastically, He does work fulltime and go to school twice a week. He is always hiding his own laptop, and now his cell phone is always “empty” in the inbox messages. I’ve caught him twice talking to another girl, One was an accident victim he saved in an accident he was first responder, and that conversation was only about meeting for lunch and him saying he’ll ask his boss for an extended lunch (never once has he ever offered that to me) this chick did have a boyfriend. He appologized and said I was right and the conversation should have never gone that far, and that “Boss” was meaning me. I dont buy the boss part, I’m not a moron. Yet, had the nerve to tell me he was going to the firehouse to get homework done, because our daughter was being a pain in the butt throwing a temper tantrum and he needed to concentrate. Well one of the txt msgs said, I’ll call you from the firehouse to her!! That to me is like he’s hiding something. I saw a few times where he called her on his way home from school. Which she lives about 5-10 mins from his school.
Second time,.. 3 days after my birthday I check his phone again, theres a picture of some girl he claims to know from the Firehouse since he is a firefighter as well. well i told him i did not want them talking theres no need for him to have pictures of another women in his phone. He said okay, it was just a picture because she wanted to show him her new hair style, whatever! I said I didnt like it it’s inapprorpriate. He said ok he’ll tell her, well,.. i check his phone a week later and theres a txt from him to her saying HIM: “just saying hi” HER “Hey Miss u” Now i am mad at this point, i questioned him yet again! This time he says i told her on her other facebook page which isnt on my facebook that I have a woman and to leave me alone but she just wont stop. I said theres no excuse why ur texting her,… if she wont leave u alone why are you texting her? Couldnt come up with a reasonable answer. So I do the sneaky thing and text her his phone and from my phone, this chick is married she started to be nice then got nasty, i didn’t believe half of what she is saying, Now all of the sudden she doesnt even know his name ,… a straight out LIE, its obvious, she claims she didnt even know he was married, and only talked to him about her problems with her husband. couldnt answer why she sent him pictures. My hiusband claimed to me he had all these messages on his facebook from her, when i asked hm to show me he said no im not showing you anything, my defense was because your lying and there are no messages (Which the chick did tell me there are no messages- BUT how did my husband know that she has another facebook that isnt on his friends list) So yet again I snooped through his phone, the picture was deleted, and i even got to see his facebook, NO MESSAGES!!! I checked his one email NOTHING, he uses another email for other crap I have no idea what, if i could only get my little hands into that account! This arguement happend while doing yard work, and he did mumble under his breath “I dont know why i’m even doing this, I’m not going to be here much longer” and I asked him what did he say to say it louder so I can hear what he has to say be a man and say it to my face not behind my back and mumbling. He said “you heard me”
THIRD TIME this morning, I check his phone and onto his facebook I go to his history and go to recently viewed pages, and what do I find, he was looking at his EX’s facebook! Now this is an ex he told me was a big mistake, she’s this shes that bla bla bla. Then why the heck is he looking at her? Here’s what bothers me, one day he claimed to have stayed at class late and finished all his homework yet had homework to do. Now his ex lives in the same town as his school is in.
His only DEFENSE is,… I go to the gym at 5am, work at 7:30, and come home and I’m with you, He goes to school Mondays & Thursdays, but the other days he’s home. When he is home, I don’t even get acknowledged anymore it’s like no matter what I feel like I’m bothering him. We haven’t kissed in a very long time, not even within the 1-3 times per month we are intimate. He claims if he was cheating he wouldn’t be here, and that an EX is an EX for a reason. He doesnt hold my hand anymore, hasn’t said I love you to me since I have questioned all of this. He’ll ask me whats wrong and I tell him, sometimes I can talk to him and other times since this all began he is impossible to talk to. THE BEST PART of our relationship was always COMMUNICATION.
Yesterday he had the nerve to ask me what’s wrong because I’ve been crazy emotional lately!!!!!!
Someone please help or give some advice,
Your gut instincts are telling you that your husband is lying about cheating…and the hardest thing is to believe what you know to be true.
Life coach Martha Beck asks, “What do you know that you don’t want to know?” It’s a very deep, frightening question to answer.
In general, if you suspect your husband is cheating, then he probably is. I think you know that, too…it’s just that it’s SO difficult to accept. It’s the most painful thing ever. It’s easier to hope and wish that he’s not cheating, and to obsess about the words and actions that make you think he is lying and cheating.
Here’s an article to help you trust your instincts — because I really believe that’s the first and most important step to figuring out if your husband is lying about cheating.
When You Have a Bad Gut Feeling About Your Marriage
I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts!
I can’t give personal advice because I don’t know your situations, marriages, personalities, etc well enough. But, the article may give you some direction and insight.
Blessings,
Laurie
Please give me your advise.I think my husband has cheated on me with my sister-in-law.my signs are a strong gut feeling and i have seen him looking at her butt several times and and about 4 years ago my sis-in-law and my brother were our neighbors and my brother is a captain offshore so he was gone often.I came home one day and pulled up and my husband came out of there house and the only one that was home was my sis-in-law and my neice which was a baby about 9 months old.when i asked him why he was over there he said he went to see the baby.He has gone out of his way to help her we would have a party and she would be dancing and he would just stare at her.When i would asked him if he did anything with her he gets mad at me and has even cried.then he tells me keep it up just keep it up.So i told him i was going to ask her he got very defensive and said i would not do it because it is gonna cause problems and my relationship with her will never be tha same that i am gonna look stupid when we talk about it he always turns away from me and shakes his head.I did ask her and she said no way i would never do that but she also got caught cheating on my brother before i wonder sometime if that is why i feel this way.I told him i was gonna talk to my brother about it and he got very defensive he said because of my feelings that i am pushing him away so he turns everything around on me and makes me believe i have a problem.Do I?What can i do to stop this feeling how do i find out the truth because my gut will not let it go.They now will barely talk to eachother she still puts herself in his face but he is tryin to ignore her.But i still catch him looking at her body parts and then he tells me u can;t see through my eyes i was not looking at her body parts but my eyes do not lie to me and i know what i see.Me and him have been together since 94 and have 2 kids together so please let me know what u think about this and how i should go about finding out the truth even if i have to sneak around the truth and lie i need to know the truth or is he telling tha truth.Please let me know what u think am i crazy for feeling this way or am i just jealous or is it him that has a problem.Thank u
Well Im sure my story isn’t any different, from the others. My husband & I have been married a year & dated 5yrs, within the past couple of yrs we went through our ups & downs! But I started having that gut feeling of cheating(Nov.2010), even though he’d promise & swear there’s nothing going on, he’d even ask me what proof did I have or where was this all coming from! Its hard to explain a gut feeling! Time went on & I let it pass, still feeling guilty For not following through! Now my gut confronts me again, he went on a short 3day business trip. This is not out of the ordinary, but this time he didn’t call, & he always call b4 going 2 bed or in general, but this time No call! So frantically I called & text all night in to themorning & he didn’t answer! Then he comes home the very next day, just as happy as if he couldn’t wait to see me! When asked about it, he said he wasasleep & he never heard the phone, but when at home or anywhere else he always answers even if he’s asl
Has anyone ever thought that everytime a spose is with someone of the oppisite sex, it could be very well not as bad as it is made out to seem?
Seriously, If it were yourself would your spouses anger be justified? Once again when the sneaky games are stopped being played, and concetrate on each other. then the spuse would not have to cheat.
IMHO you have a responsibility for you. Some may be justified but there is more to it than what you may think of yourself. Abuse goes both ways ladies. I apologize if I have offended any of you. I am offering only my own persepective.
My husband and I have been married for 29 years. In the early years he was physically and mentally abusive and he had an affair with a coworker. We had small children at the time and I mananged to keep the family together and he changed his ways.Fast forward to 2008. He got a promotion to the Region office in Atlanta (we lived in a southern state). Prior to our move I found out he was having another affair with a coworker who was also scheduled to go to Atlanta. I found condoms in his shaving kit which of course he tried to say they’ve been there for years. I’ve had a hysterectomy in 2007 so there was no need for condoms. He’s been on business trips alone with this woman and I don’t feel comfortable with it. I have met her and she has apologized but I still don’t trust her or him. I’ve been to counceling and I’ve tried and tried to put this behind me but it seems it will not go away. All the lies have created a huge canyon between us. I don’t know that I even want to try anymore. What’s your thoughts? Thanks
Dear Mam,
I have been married for 8 yrs now and have two beautiful children. My husband has been loving all this time except for some occassional fights u know. Recently my husband is visiting Hong Kong. I accidently discovered some condoms in his suitcase. When asked he told that those were for some game they were going to play for party. Mam please tell me how can i know that he is telling the truth. My gut feeling says he should not do so. I don’t know what to do? Please help.
I have struggled with my husband for over 15 years. I didn’t know how to deal with my pain at first because his hurtful behavior was something I had never experienced before. (I was raised from a Christian home with parents who are still together to this day.). Since the beginning, I suffered through numerous emotion breakdowns. One desperate night, I even attempted suicide. (I regretted trying to overdose on pills and called poison control for help.). So for many years I couldn’t understand how he could treat me so direspectful and without consideration for my feelings. Then, after all these years of emotional and verbal abuse, I finally realized there was a name for someone like him. NARCISSUS I didn’t even know what that word meant until I Googled it. So after learning about narcissism, I understood I was a victim. I didn’t even recognize that I was severely depressed all those years! His behavior caused me to have no self esteem, no self worth, and no motivation. I actually believed him whenever he blamed me for things that were truly his fault! I even started up smoking. That’s how bad it was. It’s no wonder he had an emotional affair with his cousin (and possibly a physical one too.). (Gross, I know.). I don’t even doubt he’s committed adultry with other women before too. His need for approval from people is so strong, he’s actually quite charming and funny to others. This is why so many people find him appealing. They just don’t know what a fraud he is.
Why do I stay? I have no desire in starting over in a new relationship. Fact is, I simply don’t trust any man. My husband has fooled, hurt and betrayed me for so many years, I think I rather be in a relationship with a woman before another man. Besides, after I busted my husband and his cousin, as a way to make it up to me, ON HIS OWN… he took up a large sumed life insurance policy on himself and then bought me an iPhone. I know these aren’t healthy reasons to stay, but knowing he has Narcisstic Behavior Disorder, makes it easier. I don’t let him have power over me like he used to. I used to cry and beg him not to leave me when he would say, “I’m tired of this s***! I’m done!”. Now, I just keep a diary to document his behavior. For the most part, we get along great. I just don’t get as upset like I used to because of his inability to give me emotional intamacy. It’s sad, I know. And no woman should suffer from a man like that. I think this is why I’m writing on this forum now. If you feel like your man is a lying cheat, look for signs to see if he falls in the catagory of NARCISSISM. It could save your sanity. Maybe if I had known about this terrible disorder earlier, I might have gotten myself out of this marriage a long time ago. Men with this should NOT get married. They don’t make good fathers either. So please, for your sake and the sake of your fertile eggs, look for the red flags and DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES for his bad behavior. If you meet a man who is too charming and too good to be true, that’s a BIG red flag!!!
UPDATE!
I just checked his cell phone (since he’s still asleep). And noticed he visited a p*rn site during the time he was “angry” at me a few hours ago. (He doesn’t know I check his Google history search box from his iPhone from time to time.) As evidence, should I decide to bring this fact up at a later time, I took a picture of it on my cell phone. (It even had the date on it.). If you want to know how to do this too, go to his Google search box and type every single letter in the alphabet ONE at a time. DO NOT click “search”! As you type a single letter, any searches that begins with that letter will show up along with the date. I also found other interesting searches.
It’s funny how he got angry at me for a simple thing like calling him out on a lie about another woman, and turns around to j***-off on p*rn. Can you say… CHEATER!
My husband had an emotional affair with his first cousin a year ago. Then I found out he had also been secretly spending time and contacting a young couple half his age. (deleted texts between them, etc). This couple, after meeting them, acted strange. Someone even told me the could be swingers. The husband didn’t seem to mind if his wife talked to other men at a bar, or go off for an hour with another man to buy beer. (An hour? Really?).
Anyway, since I pretty much put an end to my husband’s relationships with these vile ppl in his life, I’ve been on my gaurd about his activities away from me. So about 2 hours ago, I calmly told him how I recently seen a picture of a woman he knew from a previous job. I mentioned that she was young (half his age). I told him that, at the time when he worked there, he told me she was an older woman. (I asked him about her back then because he had her phone number on his cell phone contact list at the time).
He got VERY ANGRY and told me off. Pointed his finger at me while angrily telling me he was “tired of this shit!” and “I’m done!”. He said he never told me she was an older woman, but I’m not an idiot. He in fact told me she was an older woman at the time. It’s as if he doesn’t want to discuss anything he does or did wrong. He right away directs anger to me for even mentioning it. What a douche! I wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t lie in the first place! But that’s my life. I’m married to a Narcissist. After pointing his finger and shaking it at me, he went to take a bath then to watch TV in our livingroom. I expect he will sneak away on his motorcycle in the morning. I know he’ll use this “fight” as an excuse to come and go ad he pleases for a while. That’s what he does.
Anyway, I keep a diary of his narcisstic behavior, lies, everything. No doubt this incident will be added on there, lol. For kicks, I’m going to take a picture of him asleep in our livingroom. (I can hear the douche snoring). Too bad for him cause he’s in his undies, lol.
Re Feedback:
How are is it so sure? have there been questions asked? fights fought?
enough to make you go and look? The way you apporach a man about it is not accusing, however actually asking him “why”?
The intent is there for both of you to do it. Neither people may not be exactly pious, so how would it be to sit down and discuss how it hurts?
The “hook up” well. Truthfully it is 50/50 think of all the money he would have to spend on these things. the really take note of how exactly many profiles he had out there. 12? 10? Then deeply breathe and say really? that many? And talk to him. there is a buildup some where where tension is making him seem very low. Perhaps it is an ego boost.
The problem is to really say. I do not know. And that fear and guilt of the unknown has to be discussed about. I hope this helps.
Why must someone always search for clues? I can say that though I do not know him, some times in every marraige it has its ups and downs. At least he told you the truth about the strip bar. If you let him go to it, then obviously there is nothing to really say to him about it, or feel hurt.
Peoiple do get curious, have you ever ask your husband about his feelings without accusing?
Okay, well here goes. It’s such a long story, but I will try my best to be consise as possible. I met my husband in 2003. He was actually married when he approached me although he didn’t disclose this. He later (about2-3 weeks) told me it was nothing serious. He was just trying to help a friend gain her citizenship. Ummm okay. So I was upset, but continued to date him. They never lived together, it was just a fraud. So 3 months later, I moved out of state. about 6 months of visits I got pregnant with our first child. Then he eventually moved to where i lived. And needless to say it didn’t work. (Fast forward)We moved together to another place and it still didn’t work. Okay, he finally moved out. We started dating other people for about 2 years. During these 2 years we were still “fooling around”. We still had feelings for each other. During that time, we ended up ending our relationships with the others. Especially after I found out that I was pregnant with our 2nd son. So we move in with each other once again…everything seems okay. I eventually get pregnant for the 3rd time with our daughter who is now going on 4 months. But during the last time he moved in, I’ve found questionable text messages from co-workers, business cards from a co-worker (who was advertising massages), and while I was pregnant he went to a strip club. Now while I was pregnant with our 3rd child, I didn’t have an ounce of libido. So he was not getting sex. I rarely wanted to touch him or vice versa. So when he went to the strip club 3 weeks after I delivered, I asked him did he have fun. His response was yes, I had a good time. Then I asked him why he went (when before when he went, acted as if he was soooo bored, he even called me from his cell). But this last time, he told me “he just wanted to see another woman’s naked body!!!! Oh my gosh, I was so hurt, I felt inadequate, and insecure. Now we are married, and I have so many regrets. I have cheated as well and I’m more than willing to disclose my infidelities while we were together. I just want him to be honest with me. I can’t imagine going on with this marriage with my gut telling me otherwise. I can’t let it go. I know something is up. I’m constantly searching for clues. He is emotionally detached from me. He rarely wants to discuss my concerns. He doesn’t seem to care much about what I’ve been doing. Help. Please. I’m on the brink of a divorce and we haven’t even been married a week. Thank You
A word about intuition…Ive been with mine for 2yrs. In nov. I had a gut feeling by my observations of his actions. By march i was sure, with no proof. I broke it off. I did not waste my time to put effort into getting hard facts. He denyed, cried, begged, pleaded. I gave him a second chance, causiously. But i cleaned the slate, never brought it up again and moved forward positively. He went to great lengths to make me feel secure. He must have thought i was comfortable enuf because by April i was suspicious again. Subtle behaviors were happening. So this time i did snoop. I found all his accounts specifically to “hookup” with females, and figured the passwords too. He made profiles as recent as two weeks ago. One more indepth than the other. Though i havent seenactual conversations yet i feel this is enough, the intent is there. Feedback?
Have you yourself ever had a gut feeling and it was wrong?
do you ever apologize? Say thank you? encourage each other in a positive way?
Yes I am a man. I had a brief infidelity and lied to save face. Which I regret to this day. We all do and hurt or not I want to make things better. However I cannot guess what is goign through my partners head.
Have you ever taken the responsibility for why your partner would cheat? be abusive towards you? did you ever just take it? did you not say anything and sneak around looking for a unknown mistress? I am terribly sorry to say ladies, men do not like being spied upon either.
no. It means that at one point she over heard him talking about you in a positive way. Accept it as a positive rather than a negative.
Take comfort in knowing that your husband thinks the world of you.
I hope this helps.
I have the gut feeling, but he has a quick tongue and am not sure what to believe. This past December, there was a woman who came up to us at the bar and introduced herself to me. And she said that she had heard a lot of nice things about me from my husband. I asked him about it after we left, but he said that they work together and that he has never had a conversation with her about me. From June of last year to March of 2011, he lived and worked in a different city. I still think that he did. Does the woman saying something to me mean anything?
Hi, I need some advice…I have only been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and we live together, he is going on 31 and I will be 24 in a month. The first 5 months of our relationship he and I were very active with our physical love life he loved touching me and we would do it about 3-6 times out of a week…He smokes pot everyday and stays up late. He works as a sales agent with an auto insurance and gets home anywhere between 6:30-8:30 at night but.starts his shift at 9am every morning. He plays poker as well and goes to the casino 2 times a week or every other week. When the weekend comes around he spends it with me and my son. Lately though up until now he doesn’t try to even hardly make a move to sleep with me…he never makes out with me unless we are doing it. He turns me down most times by saying “I’m too tired, we can do it tomorrow I promise” or” your hands are cold”. He always has me do different things or tried new things on me. When he says he he is going to play poker he sometimes comes home at 3-5 in the morning and at times he has brought home cash or calls me when he is there but lately when he goes now he doesn’t call me or text me hardly and when he he came home at 3 am playing poker lastnight he tried to have sleep with me but I was so exhausted and sick. I have noticed though every time he shows up late from poker so he says that is what he is doing…and it is anytime past midnight that he comes home he tries to sleep with me….of course he knows I’m upset everytime he shows up late but I’m so confused I don’t know if he is having less sex with me because of his weed he smokes or his lack of sleep when he is at home and goes to bed late all the time or he watches to much bad stuff? And why does it seem like the only time he wants me is when becomes home that late from playing poker? Or when he is drinking or really high? He is a very handsome guy and doesn’t look like a man who would smoke weed…he graduated college and has been with lots of women in the past but because I’ve been cheated on and physically abused by my ex it has made me very paranoid that he is cheating on me. He gave me his pass code to his phone and email password and he never keeps his phone attached to him when he sleeps or is in the house and he leaves it laying around me….but could this be my paranoia? I’m constantly thinking he is cheating almost every minute…there was a time when a condom was missing and I called him out on it and he brought it back saying he was embarressed to tell me that he sometimes m****ates in the car while he watches on his phone or videos and doesn’t want to make a mess on his pants and go into work. But the next day it was missing again so I asked why and he said he threw it away and if I looked in the garbage and I said no but I had already threw the garbage out…he said I made a big deal out of it so he threw it away but why not the rest of the condoms? I dont know for sure if I hid all the rest of them before he supposibly threw that one out and that could be why he only threw that one away…then today he was talking to me on the phone and said hang on and he put me on mute and it was for no longer then 2 mins maybe but he said he asked the guy for something from the liquor store and I asked what and it took him a couple secs to answer and he said a blunt wrap but I know he smokes blunts when he isn’t at the house and told me before! But he never puts me on mute when he buys stuff or orders food while on the phone with me so why put me on mute to ask a store guy to buy a blunt? It was weird…he says he loves me and talks about future plans and is looking for a house to buy for us but when I talk to him about my feelings he changes the subject a lot or doesn’t look like he is listening…sorry this is so long but please pleases help me with some advice. Take care! and God bless! Droidlady1
Hi i am trish, I Have 3 and 2year old children now. been married for 7years, 1year ago i find out that my husband been cheated on me coz i found out picture of the girl of his bedroom and vedio of the girl taking shower to his own bathroom that time i was 9 months pregnant to my 2ndchild and i was on my own country and he was on overseas work, and he tell it wasnt his girl it was his friend i dont believe because he got all the pictures and video to his hardisc he just keep telling me that he did not cheat on me… before that why i was thinking that he cheated on me because he change a lot, he became more angry, he tried to avoid an conversetion to me.. and saying we need to save money bla bla bla.. but he never been like that before….but i want to save my mirrage but i dont know coz sexually we never been making love for 1 and 1/2 year now.. i just dont know what to do, one more he spent more time in the computer than to us…
My husband of 4 years said to me yesterday out of the blue that im boring in bed im like an old woman and that “i pushed him to other women” then quickly changed his answer to “your gonna push me to”…i asked him how can we be intimate if i go to bed EVERY night alone. He said a woman at work pulled her pants down in front of him and he “thought about it”…now when he kisses me or we are intimate it feels different and also wants me to do things a certain way or different…im not sure how i should feel…fyi what ever hes wanted to try i was more than willing but all of a sudden im not doing enough.i would love your advice
Hi, my husband has cheated on me in the past and I found out through his email and another facebook account he had. The first time i found out I took him back but told him if he didn’t treat me right I would leave. He still continued to treat me very bad. The second time I found out (a month later) he was in Iraq. I told him I was leaving him and he begged me to stay, offered to go to counseling for a sex addiction. So needless to say I took him back but this time set rules for myself. I eventually got over the hurt and devostation of his cheating and found our marriage was so much better than it has ever been. But here recently he seems to start acting emotionally abusive again. There are days where we get along so well and days where he’s calling me every name in the book for no reason at all. I keep having nightmares he’s cheating again but he swears he’s not and I should trust him again. Today I found out he changed his passwords for both his emails. I haven’t had any gut feelings but i’m still scared he’s cheating again and it’s starting to affect my everyday life. what can I do? I need help!