Q: I love this guy I and I think he was emotionally cheating, not on me but on his girlfriend. We spent time together just as “friends” but I think it is more than friends, it’s like we have a relationship. I felt guilty because I know he has a girlfriend and we were acting like a couple. It’s very complicated in my part, because I felt like a low level girl who is getting love from a person who is committed. I felt guilt deep within but I am very happy with him. I don’t know what to think, please help me…
Why It’s Wrong to Spend Time With a Guy Who Has a Girlfriend
A: I think you know why it’s wrong to love and spend time with someone who has a girlfriend – that’s why you feel so guilty! I think you should end your friendship with him, because you’re just as guilty of cheating as he is. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have a boyfriend; it is wrong to spend time with a guy who is involved romantically with someone else.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- How would you feel if you were his girlfriend?
- How can you trust him, knowing he’s cheating on his girlfriend?
- Why are you disrespecting yourself and ignoring your feelings?
- Can you live with yourself, knowing you’re cheating with him?
- What happens if you meet a guy you’re interested in, who is single?
- Are you proud of this relationship? Can you introduce this guy to your family and friends?
- How do you feel when you meet his girlfriend? Can you look her in the eyes?
- How can you be very happy with a guy, yet feel so guilty for spending time with him?
I think you need to end this friendship, because it is damaging your self-respect and self-esteem. It isn’t helping you feel good about yourself or happy with your life. This friendship is holding you back from meeting a guy you can really love and have a healthy, open, honest relationship with.
The people and relationships in your life should help you be your best self. They should lift you up and help you feel good about who you are, where you’re going, and why you’re here on earth. That’s why I think it’s wrong to spend time with a guy who has a girlfriend; it doesn’t make you a better, happier person. It hurts others, yourself, and your future.
If you know in your heart it's time to move on, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
For tips on ending this relationship, read How to Stay Apart When He Calls, Texts, and Wants to Get Back Together.