These tips will help you break free from loving a man who lies to you, cheats on you, and steals your money. You’d think it’d be easy to hate a man who broke your heart, but it’s not.
“I’ve known this man for many years,” says L. on Stop Obsessive Thoughts About Your Ex. “All he does is lie to me and treat me as a booty call. But I love him so much. He is now seeing some new chick. My self-esteem is shot. I hate myself. What can I do to get us back together?”
If you see yourself in this woman, the first thing you need to do is read a book like Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame at least twice. Study it. Live it, breathe it, be it!
I don’t think you can force yourself to stop loving anyone, but you can learn how to live a happy, fulfilled, strong life without him. It won’t be easy – it’ll take time and effort – but you CAN move on and re-create your life!
How to Stop Loving a Man Who Lies, Cheats, and Steals
And, you need to put these tips on how to stop loving a man who lies, cheats, and steals from you into action…
Listen to your friends and family
If you’re honest with your loved ones about how he treats you, then I know they’re telling you to dump him, move on, find someone who will love and cherish you. Listen to them, my friend. This is one time that you have to put your own thoughts and feelings aside, and go with the crowd’s opinion. I would never tell someone I love to stay with a man who treats her like garbage. And, I would tell her to stop taking his lies, infidelities, and thefts — men do this because women let them.
Stop focusing on him, him, him !
L’s self-esteem is low because she’s basing her self-worth and value on this jerk’s behavior. She’s letting him treat her like crap, and she believes that she deserves to be treated like crap. So she feels even crappier about her life and herself…and she’s stuck in a terrible downward spiral. How does she stop loving this man who lies and cheats? First, by learning why women stay in bad, loveless, unhealthy relationships. Second, by pulling herself together, which is what the rest of these tips are about…
Get a life
You have to stop centering your life around this man. I know how hard it is – that’s why I wrote 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love! But, your life, your days, your experiences are worth so much more than any man – even a good one. You can’t base your existence and self-esteem on anyone. You need to build a strong, happy, healthy life outside of your “love” relationship.
Surround yourself with strong, smart, successful women
Who are you chillin’ with these days? Are they women who are setting goals, achieving goals, and setting better, more exiting goals? Find women who are emotionally and physically strong, happy, balanced, and successful at work and home. You can stop loving this man who lies to you, cheats on you, and steals from you…but you can’t do it alone.
Get emotionally and physically healthy
The healthier you are, the less likely you’ll be drawn to men who lie, cheat, and steal. Your emotional and physical health is united — that’s your mind-body connection in action. Get emotionally healthy by reading books like the one I featured above, or 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem: How to End Self-Doubt, Gain Confidence & Create a Positive Self-Image. Get physically healthy by doing yoga and Pilates, or taking a spinning or kickboxing class.
You need to re-create yourself as a woman, my friend. You need to become strong, happy, and successful — and dump the jerks who treat you like dirt.
Don’t stop here! Read Need Strength to Leave a Relationship? 6 Ways to Get Strong Now.
What advice would you give women who can’t stop loving men who lie, cheat, and steal?
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.