Comments on: How Do You Leave an Abusive Relationship? One Step at a Time

By: 5 Stages Women Go Through Before Leaving a Man Who Abuses : Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships

Sun, 20 May 2012 14:54:10 +0000

[...] to a University of Illinois journal article, abused woman go through a five-step process of leaving abusive relationships. Below are the fives stages, based doctoral candidate Lyndal Khaw’s dissertation work at the [...]

By: Angry Husbands - Can You Live in Peace With an Enraged Man? : Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships

Sun, 20 May 2012 14:16:41 +0000

[...] If your husband is physically abusing you, read How Do You Leave an Abusive Relationship? A Starting Point. [...]

By: How to Spot a Man Who Will Try to Manipulate and Control You : Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships

Sat, 05 May 2012 02:39:11 +0000

[...] For more tips, read How Do You Leave an Abusive Relationship? A Starting Point. [...]

By: sandy

sandy — Tue, 01 May 2012 02:14:54 +0000

i filed for divorce and he just got his papers i love a man who has filed flase police reports on me had me arested because i tried to leave he had held a pillow over my head that morning and chocked me tore the house up and then hit himself on the headwith a weight and said i did it! he works out of town alot so i found out he was living with another woman and i was always the whore,he claims he was called to preach wow scary! anyway he ended up in al.for work he did get caught up with for beating me and the judge saw right threw him. now on probation again he has another woman spending every dime on her im about to lose my house he has ruined my credit and my life i have been having cancer treaments and my best friend died and then my dog so i hurt so bad i knew he has to go i cant hardly move im so lonley i feel really ill about all of this i will never get over him i hate him so much !he tells people i beat him and im crazy mybe i am i should have got rid of him years ago.

By: Faye

Faye — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:15:54 +0000

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years. I feel so stupid because I had first hand knowledge that he would beat his ex-wife, yet I figured he would never harm me. I would make excuses for him. He used to drink heavily and that was why he would become violent, but now he is pretty much sober and still abusive.

Last night was the final straw. He made a comment that he was my “last resort”. I didn’t like how he said it and told him that did he think I was so hideous that I couldn’t find someone else. (It was just something my ex-husband would say to me.) I was so offended, but then he turned it on me and said I was already cheating on him. He made me sleep in the living room. I was laying on the floor crying and that is when he came and kicked me in the face. He told me to get up and when I got up he pushed me in the hallway. I was crying so hard in our bed that he smacked me in the face. You see he won’t punch me in the face, that would be abusive in his mind. He punches me everywhere else. He pulled my hair that I had just dyed. He thought I dyed it to look good for some other man. A man that never exists. I am so depressed. This morning he said he was sorry. I told him that I don’t want to hear his sorries because they mean nothing. I told him that I wish someone would come and kick his ass and turn around and say they are sorry just to do it again later.
I packed some clothes and told him I would be at my mother’s house, he wouldn’t get off the phone with me till I promised to come home. I am afraid that if I don’t go home that he will get worse and that if I am going to leave I have to pretend things are alright between us and save up enough to get out.

By: Counselling Guelph

Counselling Guelph — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 15:52:02 +0000

A woman is at greatest risk of violence when she takes the initial steps to leave a abusive man. To anyone contemplating leaving a violent relationship, tell people you trust that you are, develop a safety plan, and ensure you know where to reach out for help if you feel you’re in danger.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:37:30 +0000

In a relationship where Iam abused more emotinally than verbally than physically. But all of it happens. I am beyond realizing that it is time to go, but now that its coming down to the day it seems to be getting harder. And i find myself thinking of all the GOOD things and making excuses for the bad things. I have a small child who belongs to someone else and he controls everything she is allowed to do and when I stand yo and say NO she is going to such and such activity, its a fight. I also have 2 very small dogs that he is abusive towards, and in joking I said if I ever left I was going to take them and he gets very enraged. But i cant leave them because I know if I do there will be noone there to help them! Should I feel quilty about taking our 2 dogs? Also he is always making me feel quilty about him having to pay most of the bills and in return when I do end up with a little money, he wants it but he doesnt want me to work! UGH! what do I DO!

By: michaela

michaela — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 07:58:09 +0000

It seems like your in the same position as me although there are no issues with paying bills the house is in both our names . I am so unhappy with his controlling behaviour and he also has a drink problem. 3 weeks ago after my daughters Christmas show he had too much to drink and punched me. I let him back and he seeked help from the doctor for his alcohol issues. On Christmas day he drunk a bottle of champagne to himself and over dinner verbally attacked my 14 year old daughter. I am so sad an unhappy but cannot.see a way out

By: shelly

shelly — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 01:04:19 +0000

I am in such a deep hole! I need away from this man who puts me on egg shells! I say nothing right. I do nothing right. I can be watching t.v & he’ll say “what was that look for?” The mortgage is in my name alone but we bought the house together, his name is on the deed. He didn’t have any credit so the mortgage is in my name. 5 yrs ago when the house was bought we agreed to split the expences of running the house. That lasted about 1 year. Since then it’s been topsy-turvy. Ever since it’s how things get payed & I know I’m the 1 paying out more than he is while he sluffs at a job & is capable of making waay more. He pays the lights which has gotten behing & turned off, he pays the water that has been behind & turned off he pays the satelite which has also been turned off.These have been turned off & turned back on several times. I do not like living like that. Now you know why I pay the mortgage…at least theres a roof over my head!! I’ve thought of leaving with just what i can take with me & forfeit my home & stuff because I’m afraid how he would become if he knew I planned to leave. I have a dog & a cat I can’t leave & finding an apt that is in a safe area that I can have my pets is hard to find plus takes alot of money. I can get other stuff, right now I just need to get away from his toxicness & find my own safe haven that will accept my pets, I know I can get more stuff

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:13:24 +0000

I have known my husband for 28 years and have been married for 23 of those years.
After he seemingly rescused myself and my two young children from a drunken abusive marriage. In the beginning he was everything I was looking for. Yes, I chose to dismiss and ignore those early red flags and that nagging feeling in the back of my mind something about him was amiss.
When in the beginng I believed what was sweet he wanted to know of my every movement and protective when he would carefully screen each preson that I had contact with. Believed it wasn’t my money – that idea was just not neccesary- it was our money. Yet when we bought anything -it was in his name only.
I could go on recounting the incidents one by one as the years went by.
But I will say I did leave. And I returned. I have repeated this pattern several times and for one reason or another I have always returned. The last time I came back I decided if this time he doesn’t live up to his word that the verbal, mental, and emotional had ceased I would leave for good this time.
I see and feel the scars that he and my first husband have left on me. I know I’m a little bit older and I sure with a bit of some type of treatment or therapy I will start to understand the whys of allowing myself to be treated like this and continually coming back for more.
Good luck to all reading this and finding themselves in a relationship
that leaves you with scars.