Different men show love in different ways, but there are universal signs that a man is in love. Here are a few of those signs, plus a description of what “love languages” are.
I’m reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay right now, and I love it. It’s about becoming a whole, health, happy woman – and that’s the first and most important step to being in a good relationship. Honestly, if you don’t love yourself, it doesn’t matter if he loves you.
Before you keep wondering whether he loves you, I think it’s important to figure out whether you love yourself. Are you happy and whole by yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you honor your thoughts, feelings, and opinions? Can you stand up for yourself?
If you can answer “yes” to those questions, you’re more able to discern whether or not he really loves you. The problem comes when we women don’t love ourselves. If we don’t love or respect ourselves, then we won’t be able to recognize if anyone else loves us.
How Do You Know If He Loves You?
He listens to you. Sure, we all drift in and out when someone is talking to us; it’s normal. If he misses stuff you say here and there, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. But, if you never feel heard because he is watching tv, playing video games, hanging out with his pals, working all the time, or never home, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship. Both of you need space – he needs his time alone, and so do you. But you also need to communicate and have conversations that make you feel like you’re connected.
He treats you with respect, gentleness, and love – like he treats his mother. When I was dating my husband before we were married, I was told to pay attention to how he treats his mother. If he treats his mom like crap (disrespecting her, arguing, criticising, ignoring, even abusing, etc), then he’ll probably treat you just as badly. If he insults you and calls you names, then he’s not loving you. If he picks fights with you or criticizes you, then he doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.
If you’re staying with a guy even though you know he doesn’t really love you, you’re not alone. Read the comments section of 5 Reasons Women Stay in Loveless Marriages – you’ll see that other women are in relationships just like yours. But just because you’re not alone doesn’t mean you’re stuck.
Different people show love in different ways – which is why Gary Chapman wrote The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. That book is about giving and receiving love in a way that is meaningful and unique to you. But, there are universal signs of true love, all of which involve how he treats you.
I know my husband really loves me because he tries to make me happy. This means that he talks about our relationship (even though he’d rather just let things hum right along), he goes along with all the changes I propose (even though he’d rather stick to the routine), and he cares what I think about him. He does things to make me happy. He thinks the world of me, and would do anything in his power to make sure I feel safe, loved, and cared for.
For me, it’s not about gifts, flowers, chocolates, or even chores around the house. I feel loved by “words of affirmation”, which is one of the five love languages. Do you know how you feel loved – how you receive love? If not, read Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. If you don’t know how you receive love, then you’ll have a hard time determining if he really loves you.
If you don’t think your man really loves you, why are you still in this relationship? If he says he doesn’t love you, then you know it’s time to break free. Fresh starts are painful, but so healthy.
“Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you feel good.” ― Louise L. Hay.
I welcome your thoughts on how to know if he really loves you below. I can’t give advice, but sometimes writing about how you feel can help you move forward and become happier, healthier, and stronger.
This article was republished on The Love Blog, and called 5 Signs He Loves You.