Q: My husband is an addict, and his current drug is adderall. I spend about $300 plus monthly to keep him decent. I told him almost a year and a half ago to stop doing drugs. He’ll stay up for days. Our house is piled high with trash, unfinished projects. I tried taking trash out but he would not let me. He is verbally abusive, has pushed me more than once, threw objects, and yesterday he locked me out of the house. I was hurt, but yet I felt peace. I know he has a disease (addiction) but he has made no efforts. It’s only gotten worse. He has never worked. Should I leave or stay? I love him but I am unhappy, and he is not the same man I married.
How Do I Make My Husband Stop Doing Drugs?
A: Call a local drug addiction help line, and talk to someone in person about helping your husband with his drug addiction. Stop spending money on his drugs – you’re enabling him! He’s never held a job, and he abuses you. He’s using you, and he’s using the drugs to avoid dealing with life.
You can’t make your husband stop doing drugs – and I think you know that! You didn’t even ask that question, because you know the answer.
Your husband’s drug addiction won’t get better – he’s shown that to you in the past year and a half! He can’t just stop doing drugs; he has a serious disease that requires serious help. It’ll get worse and worse, until you and he reach a criss point. He may seriously hurt you, overdose on drugs, or cause harm to someone else.
I think you also need to think about why you’re staying with him. Is it “just” love and your marriage vows that are keeping you tied to him? Or, are there other factors that are keeping you in this abusive marriage? Do you feel responsible for his habit? Are you worried about what will happen to him if you leave?
Why did you feel peace when he threw you out? Maybe you need him to be the one who leaves you. Maybe you’re not strong enough to leave him. This is why it’s important to reach out and call a drug addiction help line, so you can figure out the best way to cope with your husband. And, they’ll help you decide if you need to leave him or not.
For more help with husbands who are struggling with drug addiction, read What to Do When Your Husband is an Alcoholic or Drug Addict.
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.