5 Healthy Ways to Connect With Your Dates

Single men and women can find it challenging to date and connect with new people, especially if they’ve recently left a bad relationship or lost the love of their lives. If you’re single and dating, these healthy ways to connect with new people might help you enjoy the butterflies that often accompany new dates!

Before the tips, a quip…

Question for Groucho Marx: “Do you believe in computer dating?”

Groucho Marx: “Only if the computers really love each other.”

Whether you’re dating online or joining the singles group at the church, make sure you spend time with people you really like and want to get to know better. Otherwise, you won’t enjoy dating! If you’d like more information on the single life,  click Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner. And, read on for several ways to get the most out of your dating experience…

5 Healthy Ways to Connect With Your Dates

This article was written in response to a question one of my favorite Aussies asked on my How to Let Go of Someone You Love article (on Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals). He said, “Are there any articles about reconnecting without causing damage to others, or connecting in a more balanced manner?”

Brilliant question – because the last thing we want to do is spread pain around! Here are a few tips for healthy connection…

1. Figure out if you’re ready to date. If you’re still in love with your ex, don’t have closure with your past relationship, or can’t open up and be vulnerable with a new partner, then maybe you’re just not ready to date. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious and starting slow with the single life…unless the thought of a new love or relationship drains you or freaks you out. Then, you may want to step away from the dating scene until you figure out what’s holding you back.

2. Set your intentions or goals for dating. As a single man or woman, what are you looking for? I once dated a man who just wanted to take someone on motorcycle rides and out for dinner every few weeks. He was honest about his intentions from the start, and we had a ton of fun! Figuring out your intentions or goals will help improve your dating life, and reduce the possibility of hurt feelings or confusion later.

3. Be as honest as possible about your intentions. You don’t necessarily to need to share all the sordid details of your past on your first few dates…but to connect with other singles in a healthy way, you need to share a bit of who you are. For instance, if you’re still struggling to let go of a past relationship or feel too vulnerable to commit to anything more than a coffee now and then, then you either need to be honest about where you’re at or you need to pull back from “serious” dating.

4. Set healthy emotional and physical boundaries. Setting boundaries in dating includes not sharing every detail of your past relationships, your physical or emotional quirks, or your problems at work. Single men and women need to find the balance between being honest (e.g., “I’m interested in starting a healthy long-term relationship with the right person – and possibly get married”) and not scaring potential relationships away (“Are we a match? Can I meet your kids? When do you get holidays from work – can we use that time to take a trip to where you grew up?!?”).

5. Know where your responsibility begins and ends. A healthy way to connect with your date is to let go of feelings of guilt or accountability if your intentions or goals for dating don’t jive with theirs. For instance, you may not be ready for a serious commitment – and that’s okay! You can still date, you can still be honest about your intentions, and you can still enjoy being single and meeting people. Accept who you are and where you are in your love life. Recognize if you’re taking on a misplaced sense of responsibility – such as feeling guilty that you’re not ready to commit to a vacation or even a particular discussion – and don’t feel like you “should” be in a different place.

Dating can be an enjoyable experience — if you’re as emotionally healthy as possible. To increase your spiritual connection with other singles, read 5 Tips for Spirituality in Dating and Romantic Relationships.

If you have any thoughts or questions on being single and connecting with your dates, please comment below…

Related Articles:

1. Improve Your Dating Life – 8 Tips for Singles

Category: Communicating & Relating, Dating, Meeting People, New Relationships