When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone Else

These survival tips will help when the man you love is getting married to someone else. If you don’t think you can let go – if you know you’ll never be happy again – you need to start thinking differently!

When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone ElseYou need to let go of him and move on – and one way to do that is to read It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy is one of the most popular breakup books on Amazon. You’ll learn why you shouldn’t call him — and what he’s thinking when you do break down and call. Instead of obsessing about why the man you love is marrying someone else, you need to know how to keep your friends and not lose your job! Avoid breakup pitfalls: IMing, stalking, and having sex with your ex. Learn how to reframe reality and see the relationship for what it was.

The following tips for moving on are inspired by a reader. “I found out that the guy I’ve been dating for four years is getting married to someone else,” says Stella on Why Couples Break Up. “I love him so much and I have been crying. I don’t know what to do. I am so confused. Please help me.”

When the Man You Love is Getting Married

Different tips work for different people. For me, reading is one of the best ways to survive any trauma because it shows me that others have survived similar problems, and they’ve even written books about it and gotten published!





Other women find comfort in friends, ice cream, shopping, or even home renovation! Yes, changing your physical surroundings – perhaps by tearing down your walls or tearing up your carpet – can help you move on after a hard breakup.

The trick is to distract yourself from the pain.

Find ways to distract yourself when the man you love is marrying someone else

Instead of focusing on the fact that you can’t stop loving the man you’ve been with for years, channel your energy into something productive and good for you. Go back to school, or take a night class. Learn to play the flute, or take flamenco dance lessons. Move to a new neighborhood, city, state, or country. Start a new exercise regime, or start planning your next vacation.

The worst way to cope when the man you love leaves is to sit and cry about it. Yes, you need to grieve – but you don’t need to grieve all day, every day, for the next five years. Give yourself permission to cry a little, but then start diverting your energy to something that makes you feel good about yourself.

Accept that you and he were not meant to be together

I’ve been devastated over breakups. I’ve cried my eyes out, and thought I was going to die when the guys I loved left me. I haven’t actually stalked any of my ex-boyfriends, but I’ve gone with girlfriends to stalk their ex-boyfriends.

Now that I’m 42 and happily married, I’ve realized that my ex-boyfriends were not meant to be mine! The were not suited for me because of our lifestyles, personalities, goals, and cultures. If you’re struggling to cope with the heartache when the guy you love marries somebody else, keep reminding yourself that you and he were not meant to be together. Sooner or later, he would’ve left you – or you’d be trapped in an unhappy marriage, perhaps with kids, a mortgage, or a ton of financial debt.

To survive the pain of being left for another woman, you need to keep telling yourself that this breakup is for the best. You prolong the pain if you keep hanging on to what you can’t have.

Spend time with people who make you feel good

What to Do When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone Else

When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone Else

Some friends leave you feeling drained, tired, and listless. They’re sort of like energy vampires – they drain your spirit and soul of everything good! Other friends leave you feeling happy, inspired, excited, and motivated to change your life in positive ways. You enjoy spending time with them because you connect with them, have great conversations, and see life the same way.

And what about your ex-boyfriend – did he make you feel drained, or did he inspire you to be a better woman? Was he really good for you?

Think about the last week or two of your life. Who do you spend most of your time with? What do you talk about? Are you encouraging each other to succeed, or dragging each other down? Who you spend your time with will change your life – especially if you’re trying to cope when the man you love is marrying someone else. Choose your friends wisely.

Surround yourself with beauty

When was the last time you bought yourself a bouquet of flowers, or a beautiful ceramic coffee or tea mug? I bought a coffee mug for $20 a couple of months ago – it says Hope on it. Every morning when I reach for my coffee, I get the message: Have hope for what the day will bring – and be thankful you’re still alive!

We have lots to mourn, but we also have lots to be grateful for. For more tips on healing after a break up, read 10 Best Ways to Cope With a Breakup – Pamper Yourself!



Fix Your Marriage



And if you have any thoughts on moving on when the man you love is getting married to someone else, please comment below.

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When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone Else
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These survival tips will help when the man you love is getting married to someone else. If you don't think you can let go - if you know you'll never be happy again - you need to start thinking differently!

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Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
I live in Vancouver, BC; my degrees are in Education, Psychology, and Social Work. Most importantly, I am a Christian! I love God, Jesus, Spirit. Your comments are welcome below, but I can't give advice. Are you lost, hurt, scared? Take a deep breath, and remember the reason you exist. "The eternal God is your refuge; His everlasting arms are under you." - Deut 33:27. Feel free to share your prayers and experiences here.

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10 Responses

  1. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Vicky,

    I know it seems like your world is falling apart because your boyfriend is marrying someone else. It is terrible, heartbreaking, so painfully sad. It is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to you. You are in shock, and you’re grieving the loss of the man you love. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

    But you have to accept reality. You can’t change his mind — and why do you want to? He wants to leave you and marry another woman. It’s wrong and sad, I hate that it’s happening to you, but you have to face the facts. You are stronger than this, better than this, and healthier than this! You WILL rise above this, you WILL heal, and you will find yourself in this mess of emotions and grief.

    My prayer for you – and for all women who are coping when the man they love is marrying another woman – is for strength and courage. May you dig deep into the bottom of your soul and find a resilience and hope you never thought possible. May you pull yourself together for your child’s sake, and for your own sake. You are a survivor – and you need to let this man go. Let him go. Take a deep breath, and accept that he is not meant for you. Know that there is a reason for this, even if you never learn why you’re not in this relationship.

    I pray for healing of your heart and soul. I pray that you find supportive friends, and that you don’t let this breakup ruin your life….or your child’s.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  2. Vicky says:

    I have the same problem as Rosie. Me and him we been together for over 5 years we have beautiful baby girll together which she looks just like him. We been livjng together since her birth, and yesterday he told me he will marry someone else and leave us. I cant cope with him leave in trying to do everything I can for him to stay. I cant live with tahr fact that hes gonna marry somebody else that he dont even know. Ill die if he marries her. I cant even think how hes gonna be with her, when they got married and they start living together and sleeping in the same bed, doing things that we use to do, that hes going to come home from work like he use to come to me. I cant live with thag i wont be able to hold him and say i love you or kiss him. It kills me inside, I been crying since yesterday Im really depressed my baby dosnt know whats going on with me. I have to stop him somehome please someone help me. I cant lose him I love him so much please :'(

  3. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Rosie,

    My prayer for you is that you find the strength and courage you need to accept that the man you love is marrying another woman. Acceptance and surrender to his marriage will bring you peace. Peace will bring you joy, and joy will make you strong and happy!

    I also pray that you find the strength that I know is within you to let go of this man. May you hold on to your self-respect and dignity, and not engage in a relationship with him after he marries the other woman. May you respect his marriage, his wife, and his family. May you be courageous enough to let him go, strong enough to act in honorable ways, and smart enough to know that if you continue seeing him after he’s married, you will hate yourself.

    May you find healing. May you grieve the end of this relationship, and may you begin the process of letting go, healing, and moving on with your life. I pray that you find the help and resources you need in people, books, websites, and even support groups. You ARE strong enough to rise above this breakup and move forward in your life. You WILL find another man to love, if you accept that this man is marrying another woman and there is no room in his life for you. I pray for acceptance and healing.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  4. Rosie says:

    Is there any hope he will change he’s mind

  5. Rosie says:

    My boyfriend of three and half years is entering into an arranged marriage he’s family have organized and although he told me from the start that this was going to happen one day l went ahead and we both fell deeply inlove .Its been one week since he told me about the girl they have found he has also shown me a pic of her ,lm devasastated all l do is cry l can’t function and although this site is telling me to let go l can’t .He has promised me that we will still be together after his marriage .I have agreed but will he still love me like before when at night he’s in bed with her,will he think of me when she’s doing things for him that l did for him before will he compare his wife with me .Hes indian and so is she l know that he has done this for his family and religion and to not bring shame in marrying outside culture and not pick the girl of his choise he just agreed .There is an age difference between us of 18 years but l don’t care lm older it’s never bothered him even still.Can someone please tell me how to go after he marries and won’t be next to me and will he be thinking of me on his wedding night .Loving me so much and lying next to someone he hardly knows help .

  6. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for being here D, and sharing how you’re coping when the man you love is marrying another woman. It sounds like you went through a rough time with it, but you’re starting to accept that he isn’t the one for you.

    I pray for strength and hope, courage and faith as you move forward in your life. May you find healing and inspiration, and love and joy in ways you never expected! I wish you peace, and a renewed connection with both your own self and with God. Amen.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  7. D says:

    I found this article to be very helpful. The guy I love is about to marry someone else in about 3 months. We are also very good friends so It is so painful to watch and I started to notice that I was starting to get crazy and stalk him with blasting him with all kinds of text messages and emails. I was driving him crazy. I realized my behavior was way out of line and stopped with the stalking text messages. I think the hurt and pain was making me do that. This article is right on and is helping me cope. I’m buying the book as well. I just need to come to grips that I was just not meant to be with him.

  8. Laurie says:

    Acceptance is the only way to cope when the man you’re in love with chooses to marry another woman. What else can you do, but trust that this was not the man for you. If he WAS the man for you, you’d be together.

  9. shan says:

    It is very sad when someone you love is in love with someone else, but there is nothing you can do.

  10. sugar says:

    My bf of 5 yrs did the same thing to me. He offered me marriage but told him to wait as i hv to consider things since he’s a muslim & i’m catholic. When i decided that i was ready to be a muslim & was going to the mosque it was then that he married someonelse from his culture, ghana africa without telling me. He threw me out of his haus so his new wife can come in. I feel betrayed & hurting so badly & he still keeps on saying that it will be us in the end…how? I am filled w/anger, jealousy, pain etc…

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