Q: After 3 years, I find it almost impossible to move on. My husband had an affair with my best friend, who I knew for about 15 years. She had been to all our children’s birthday parties, seen all our babies when newborn, been to our wedding and babysat a couple of times over night so my husband and I could have a break from the children. I knew her parents well and we shared friends. She also met our families numerous times over the years. I confided in her the year before he left me. I have never known such emotional turmoil and pain, I still feel totally and utterly betrayed by 2 people I totally trusted.”
Coping After Your Husband and Your Best Friend Have an Affair
A: First, I’m really sorry you’re going through this pain. I can’t imagine my husband and best friend having an affair – the betrayal and heartache would be almost unbearable. You’re facing one of the worst things that can happen to a wife, and you need time to mourn and heal.
That said, however, you need to start picking up the pieces of your shattered life! Yes, it is awful that your husband left you, his family stopped speaking to you, and then he had an affair with your best friend (to read her full story, go to How to Cope When Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman).
But…three years have gone by, and it’s time to start rebuilding your life. There is a season for everything, and your season for mourning your husband’s affair is over. Now, it’s the season for rebuilding, renewing, and growing into the woman you are meant to be.
What were you passionate about, before you met your husband, got married, and had kids? What have you always wanted to do with your life?
Who do you admire? What women do you respect and like – who are your role models?
Where do you see yourself in a year from now? Do you want to be struggling with the same problems, crying that your husband and best friend had an affair? Or, do you want to be firmly entrenched in your new life – one you’re happy with?
Almost a year ago, my friend’s husband left her and their three kids. My friend can barely drag herself out of bed. She’s depressed, anxious, and demoralized. What would you tell her? What advice would you give her?
Coping after your best friend and your husband had an affair may be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever experience. But, you have to believe that you’re a survivor – and this blow won’t end your life! In fact, it could be the push you need to be happy, healthy, and whole.
If you know in your heart it's time to move on, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
To learn how to bless him and let him go, read How to Move On When He Leaves You.