Breaking up at Christmas is worse than any other time of the year. These tips will help you survive a broken heart over the holiday season, when you’re supposed to be joyous and happy.
Before the tips, a quip:
“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new,” said Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone With the Wind. “What is broken is broken, and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best, than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived.”
Some relationships just can’t be mended — and the mending may cause more pain and heartache than the letting go. If you need to break free from the past, read Letting Go of Someone You Love — it offers 75 tips from psychologists, life coaches, and counselors.
And, here are several ways to cope with a Christmas breakup…
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How to Survive Breaking Up at Christmas
Accept that you’re in for a rough Christmas. I won’t lie to you: it’s painful and heartbreaking to be alone, especially if you were excited about being a couple at Christmas. There’s nothing you can do to stop the pain. You have to live through it, to feel it and express it and keep reminding yourself that this breakup happened for a reason. You weren’t meant to be together, and you have to let go.
Remember that it takes time to heal. Surviving a breakup at Christmas isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy. Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days. No matter why your relationship failed – even if it was the worst, unhealthiest relationship ever –it will take time to move on. I’ve survived those heart-wrenching, gut-twisting breakups that slam you to the ground and rip you to pieces. One thing I’ve learned is that letting go and healing takes time.
Take time to reconnect with who you are, or your source of strength. If you’re spiritual, make time to connect with God or the source of your spirituality. Stop to say a quick prayer or meditation, especially when you feel like you can’t survive breaking up at Christmas. Make it a priority to connect to the source of your power – don’t lose yourself in the heartache or feelings of low self-worth. Even if you don’t believe in religion or spirituality, take time to ground yourself by connecting to your authentic self.
Make a clean break over the Christmas holidays. After you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t talk on the phone, meet for coffee, or text each other. Even if you’re thinking of getting back together, make sure you take the Christmas holidays off — and maybe a few months after. You need to figure out out who you are apart from your relationship, and it’s easier if you aren’t in touch with your ex.
Get into “Breakup Survival Mode.” Think back to when your best friend went through a breakup: what advice did you give? What did you think she should do or say? Write down your best breakup survival tips – maybe you could write them below, in the comments section. Pretend you’re giving someone else advice, that you’re helping someone you love survive a Christmas breakup. Then, schedule 15 minutes a day for Breakup Survival Mode. For 15 minutes every day, you’ll take your own advice about coping with a Christmas breakup – because after all, you know yourself best!
If you’re ready to move on, read Letting Go of Someone You Love.